Most miss the signs, because of what we think is love. My mom used to always say “start out how you can hold out.” I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. In relationships too many people see the truth, but choose to sweep it under the rug. What you accept is exactly what you will get from anyone. If you clearly see the truth, then please believe it!

I think some women can be categorized as a bum same as some men. However this is for the ladies. For this post a bum means a slothful person who DOESN’T have the desire or energy to do anything, but mooch off of someone else. That’s my definition. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some are very good looking and most have a great talent of gab. They can talk the red off of an apple. LOL. Seriously, they are smooth talkers.

Ladies,if you have to pick him up or if he has no place to call his own, RED FLAG! If when you go out, you have to pay for the food, because he has no money, RED FLAG! If when he reaches in his pocket all he pulls out is lint (every time), RED FLAG! If you have to feed and clothe him, RED FLAG. If he’s not remotely trying to help himself, RED FLAG! If every time you look around you’re having to give him money, RED FLAG! DO YOU GET MY POINT!!! Let’s start with something simple. If you have to pick him up, please find out why you have to pick him up. Some women are so desperate they will settle for this. If it’s because he doesn’t have a car, ask why! Think about it. Why do you need someone in your life who can’t carry his own weight. If there’s a good legitimate reason, I can understand it, but because he’s a lazy bum and don’t own a car or anything else of his own; I don’t think so!

Some women take these types of men into their homes and many are around their children. What do you think as a woman you instill into your children when they see this? It needs to stop. You have children and you have a man who you have to take care of as if he’s one of the children. Yet, you’re letting him call the shots. ARE YOU SERIOUS! Ladies, if you’re doing this you need to stop and reevaluate your life, because something is wrong.

You’re involved with someone you have to take care of. Where is the sense in that? If he can’t contribute, it’s a problem. Stop allowing what you think is love to keep you stuck in this vicious cycle. You deserve better. If you’re working and holding it down, you don’t need a man holding you back. Money you could be saving for something else, you’re spending feeding, clothing, and taking care of him. It needs to stop. You need to work on your insecurities whatever they may be.

What he can do in the bedroom has nothing to do with what he can contribute to your life. A penis is a penis, like a vagina is a vagina. No one has a gold one or a magical one. Stop fooling yourself in thinking it’s so good you can’t live without it. If that’s your focus, you’re confused and got it wrong. Snap out of it and face reality. Look at what you’re allowing in your life and the life of any children you may have. I wouldn’t care if he were the best looking man on earth, he’s not worth it. Looks fade at some point and people get tired of sex if that’s all the relationship is built on. Then what do you have? Absolutely nothing, but what you started with, a bum..

Some of you women let these men take over your homes when they have nothing to contribute to the household. It’s foolish and ridiculous. These types of women obviously don’t know what love is, because this sure isn’t it. Real men will take care of their women. In a relationship a grown and mature man will take care of his woman and she will take care of him. Stop giving your power to someone or something when it belongs to you. As I always say, if you freely give it, it will be taken.

Stop allowing good looks or sex to have you completely oblivious to the truth when it’s staring you in your face. It won’t take long to figure him out, but if you’re stuck on the looks, you’re wrong and it is all you will see. Some men will look the part, but the truth isn’t hard to see if you want to see it. He can present himself as having this or that, but when “the rubber meets the road” he has nothing to call his own. There are always and I mean always signs of the truth, if we accept the truth as it is and not as we want it to be.

Wake up ladies and know your worth! If you don’t know who you are or what you deserve you will fall for anything. Figure out yourself,  instead of being so willing to lose yourself in someone else.

As I stated some women are bums too. They want someone to take care of them and like some men; they don’t want to hit a lick at anything, Everything they have they want it given to them, same as some men. In my opinion, no man should settle for this type of woman no more than any woman this type of man. Some of them have children and too lazy to care for the children. In reality all that’s  written in the post could very well pertain to women too, but I particularly wrote it for my sisters. I’m so sick of seeing women of all races settling for bums. It’s shameful, but these women are showing no shame. My sisters, please reevaluate your life. You deserve better!