There are many households around the globe who are in this type of relationship. I think it’s a very sad situation to be in. Many couples get together and end up married, but living separate lives. This is something I’ve talked briefly about in other posts. My belief is this happens for several reason.
You all have read enough of my posts to know my thoughts on this. People must know what they’re getting involved in and with whom. I always say, far too many individual’s are marrying for the wrong reasons and after all of the unhappiness realize they shouldn’t have been together in the first place. Often times one of the two is truly in love and want the marriage to work, while the other is only going along for the ride. However there are times neither are in love, but for whatever reason still choose to marry (friends, family, pregnancies, and other reasons). This only causes unnecessary stress in their lives. If the walls could talk they would truly tell interesting and very sad stories.
Although married, both men and women have feelings of loneliness when they’re living separate within their homes. This causes so much heartache and pain for couples especially when there’s at least one who wants the relationship to work. It also open the door to other things and people to come into the relationship causing the couple even more problems.
People get married and begin to allow everything to come before their marriages. YOU CAN’T DO THIS! No matter what or who in order for marriages to flourish into strong relationships individuals must take time for one another. Quality time is of upmost importance in any marriage. Having children, friends, family, work, school, sports, video games, etc..etc; none of it should eliminate a couple’s quality time together. Excuses shouldn’t be an option when it comes to making time to be together.
Couples get together and before marrying some of them allow other things to interfere and once they get married it continues to happen. If you’re with someone and the availability to be together is already scarce, it probably won’t change once you get married. There are so many things that causes separation within the homes. You’ll end up a lonely spouse. If you’re not attentive to one another, this can happen before you realize it.
One thing I found out during talking with individuals and couples is that people have too distractions in their homes. There are too many televisions, game systems, computers, IPAD, cell phones, and other things that causes separation. Those in rocky relationships also has to contend with all of the other stuff that’s causing separation outside of them not getting along. Sometimes these other things are causing the separation and other times the separation is causing individuals to get more into the other things.
Any couple who wants to change this in their relationship can. It takes work, commitment, and consistency. You can’t take one another for granted or IF you catch yourself doing so, you must get those actions in check. Stop allowing things and people to come in between your relationships. Stop all of the separate living within your homes. It becomes quickly becomes habit.
Sleeping separate can cause major problems as well. Some people make it work, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’ve always said if couples are sleeping separate for medical reasons that’s one thing, but to do it, because you’re mad at one another or you want your space, I don’t think it’s a good idea. People become comfortable very quickly. Before you know it you find it hard to go back living as a couple.
One thing for certain is what’s not important to one before marriage, will not be important after marriage. The same behaviors will be exhibited and sometimes the behaviors are worse. People listen; a relationship doesn’t start after marriage, you must have a solid foundation before you get married.
Think about it! If you want to change your situation, you must do something different right? It’s up to you! If you continue to live separate in and outside of your homes your relationships will not work. Stop the separation. It’s up to you! You can’t EVER make another person love you no matter how much you may love that person.
Don’t start your relationships accepting any and everything, because you will feel the consequences of your actions later. No joke!!! If you choose to marry, you should work at your marriage. It should be very important to you! You must work together, it shouldn’t be a one sided effort! It takes both of you to make it work. Set aside quality time and do whatever it takes to NOT allow separation in your homes!