I decided to write on this topic, because it appalls me to no end when I see both men and women degrading themselves in the name of love. Love is a lot of things to different people, but it should never be degrading, abusive, disrespectful, unhealthy, demeaning, etc. etc. For those of you who are doing ANYTHING to be with your significant other OR to get with someone you think you love, IT ISN’T LOVE. It is your distorted view of love.
If you demean yourself or completely stoop to levels of sheer embarrassment to be with someone IT’S NOT LOVE. You may not realize it, but trust me; the other person does! STOP BEING IN LOVE BY YOURSELF, it makes no sense to be in love with someone who isn’t in love with you. In relationships, if you have to convince the other person by being demeaned and mistreated, then forget it!
Many of you give your all to the other person yet you get so little in return. Then there’s some of you who give your all to other person and get absolutely NOTHING in return. It’s like you’re oblivious to the truth, you keep right on giving and giving. You give so much until you lose sight of who you are.
The sad part of it all is whenever you’re willing to take and take without getting anything in return it CLEARLY shows the other person how they can treat you. We teach people how to treat us. If you’re willing to do any and everything it is EXACTLY what you will have to take (any and everything). IT’S NOT LOVE!
Some of you are in relationships where you’re so disrespected and mistreated it’s embarrassing and shameful even to you. Problem is you’re not embarrassed enough to put a stop to it. You’d rather take it all then to be without the other person.
I’ve seen both men and women who are completely disrespected by their significant others. They’re humiliated in public and all they do is follow like little Muppets. I would rather die and go straight to hell before I would ever let anyone treat me like I don’t matter. I’m speaking from my heart, but you have to get to a place in your life where you know you matter, because you do.
Some of you bend over backwards to get with someone who don’t even want you. They clearly show they don’t want you, yet you will do whatever it takes to get them. NO! This is a clear sign the person will do you any kind of way, because it’s the blank check you’ve given the person to cash. STOP HANDING OUT BLANK CHECKS ON YOUR LIFE!
Your significant others OR those you want to get with but haven’t yet succeeded will treat you in any way you allow. As I’ve said over and over again, this tells them the type of person you are and it CLEARLY shows you the type of person they are. Both of you have issues and this is the making of an unhealthy relationship.
People can easily avoid unhealthy relationships, but in order to do so you must first love yourself and know who you are. If you put it out there as if you’re a slave to love IT’S EXACTLY HOW YOU WILL BE TREATED. It’s not love when your man or woman does you any kind of way they want. They don’t know how to love and neither do you IF you’re allowing this foul treatment in your lives.
You know the old saying, NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING! Now don’t get it wrong. You can take nothing and build something, but that takes two willing participants. Otherwise if you don’t know how to give in a healthy manner, you won’t receive in a healthy manner. You may THINK it’s love and what you’re doing may come from what you think is a good place. However, if you’re taking crap in the name of love, crap is what you will receive in return.
My sister, my brother. I don’t care who you are or what you’ve gone through; life is ultimately what we make it. In anything you do how you allow someone to treat you is how they will treat you. Your significant others (whether you’re with them or you want to be with them). They know how to treat you by how you treat them. If you’re taking any and everything in the name of love, it’s what they will give you. It says a lot about the both of you.
In my personal life I don’t take disrespect from no one. I treat everyone who crosses my path with respect and I will not take anything less from someone. There’s a certain way to approach me, but I am completely approachable. It’s just that you won’t come at me sideways (disrespectfully). Everybody knows it, because it’s how I carry myself. You may try it once, but I guarantee you that will be the first and last time. I’m the same way in my relationship, I will love you and treat you how I want to be treated. I don’t give that power to NO ONE. For me it’s not about how you want to treat me. It’s how I allow you to treat me and I know it has to be with love, kindness, and respect. I won’t dish it out any other way and you can’t serve it to me any other way.
You have to get to a place in your life where you’re number one (outside of God of course and I have to say it, because He’s first in my life. I’m not pushing it on you, it’s only what I believe). If you’re not first whoever you want or whomever you’re with will know it by how you treat them. If you take disrespect, mistreatment, do any and everything from them in the name of love; they’ll quickly realize it’s all about them and it’s how they will treat you. As if it’s all about them. They’ll know they have that power over you.
YOU DESERVE BETTER! You’re worthy of the best, please believe it! Stop allowing the one you love to treat you any kind of way they choose. You’ll get everything but love in return!