Here Today, Gone Today


I chose to write about this, because I traveled to the burial of my very good friend on yesterday. I still can’t believe my good friend of 16 years is gone. She had the biggest heart of anyone I’ve known. She passed on at the age of 41. I’m happy I got to spend her birthday with her in June. We had no idea on earth it would be her last one.

There were so many beautiful flowers at her home going. I told the people although the flowers were beautiful they were no good to her, because she couldn’t smell or appreciate them. I gave her flowers while she lived and was able to appreciate them. It’s one reason I didn’t have to get up and say this and that, because my friend heard what I had to say during the 16 years of our friendship. She heard the words while she could appreciate and value them.

When a person die people have so much to say, but when the person was alive those same people had nothing to do with the person. People love chiming in at funerals, but couldn’t be found when the people were alive. In my friend’s case it was no different.

My challenge to you is to give your family and friends their flowers while they live. Saying you love them when they’re dead means nothing. It’s a waste of breath. You should tell them while they live. Treat them right while they live and let them know what they mean to you. Stop wasting time being mad over things that don’t really matter.

Although some people act as if they are, no one is here to stay. Not one single person. Death can come at any given time whether you’re ready or not. That’s why it’s important to get both your physical and spiritual business straight. You won’t have time when death come knocking. You can’t ask death to come back later. When it’s time, it’s time.

Most people don’t like to talk about death (they’re afraid to die and don’t want to die), but not talking about it won’t stop it from coming. It will come for us all some day. Right now this very moment is really all we have. Nothing else is promised. The next second we can be gone. If you’re having issues with someone you love talk to them, don’t let things go, because tomorrow may be too late. A lot of people live with regrets, because they let bitterness keep them from their loved one or they treated their loved one wrong and then it was too late to rectify the situation. Don’t let that be you. Treat your loved ones right and give them their flowers while they live and can appreciate them. When I say flowers it’s a metaphor for showing good deeds, love, appreciation etc. Please whatever it is, get it straight right now, before it’s too late.

Husbands against wives, wives against husbands, mothers against daughters and vice versa, fathers against sons and vice versa, family against one another, friends fighting, etc. etc. Stop the madness! Don’t let another day go by, because once they’re gone nothing you say or do will matter.

I am so thankful for the sixteen years my friend and I shared. I’m glad I have the sense to show those I love what they mean to me while they live. I don’t allow anything to keep me from showing love and appreciation to others. I realize and understand that right now is all we have. I pray that you do too! When a person dies you can’t take back any wrong you’ve done or said. Right now is the time to get things right!



This post will hit home for some people, because many of you are in current relationships battling the very same issues you had in the beginning of your relationships. It’s because people except others according to who they REALLY are (oneself NOT the other person). This is fueled by what you’re dealing with inside that you’re not addressing. Some of you desperately try to hide it, but it shows in the decisions you make, what you say, and what you do (all coming from how you think about things). I’ve told people over and over you can’t change anyone else, especially when you need to change yourself. What you accept in the beginning is EXACTLY what you will end up with most of the time. If people would stop getting into relationships thinking the other person will change or trying to change the other person it will save a lot of problems for many. If you feel you need to change someone else IT’S A CLEAR SIGN YOU NEED TO DO SOME CHANGING YOURSELF.

Too many people don’t look at their relationships realistically. They go solely off of feelings of their hearts and not by what the truth shows. People are meeting one another and are getting into relationships for all of the wrong reasons and in all of the wrong ways. When you’re a mess, you normally attract mess and if by chance you attract something good, by the time you’re finished IF they allow they too will be a mess.

I’m a woman and it hurts to see my sisters getting into these relationships with men who disrespect straight from the start, They stay with him because he’s fine and can perform good in bed, but never mind the fact he has nothing to bring to the table, never mind the fact he mistreats her, never mind the fact he abuses her, never mind the fact she’s a non factor to him; and the list goes on. So many woman have lost their lives, they stay in relationships with men who are CLEARLY abusive. These women are so messed up inside they can’t see the truth, because they can’t see past their own issues that has them bound.

Stop getting into relationships that you know won’t work. When you are constantly fussing and fighting with the person you’re dating why would you marry them? It’s because you have issues you need to deal with. If you didn’t you would see the truth and know this isn’t good for you. I’m not saying don’t marry them, but I am saying you should wait until the both of you mature and are capable of positive communication. Communication is key in relationships. If you start out unable to effectively communicate the ONLY way the relationship will work is you both learn to communicate and do it effectively. Far too many are taking past pains into their relationships only to ruin them.

There are many situations people find themselves in when they shouldn’t be nor do they have to be. People continue on into bad situations knowing they’re bad. It doesn’t make sense and it’s a clear sign of immaturity and insecurities coming from the wrong way of thinking.

I recently met a young man who outright told me he was married for eight years, but he wasn’t in love with his wife. He didn’t love her when he got with her. He admitted she was pretty and it was about sex, but then she got pregnant so he decided to marry her. He said that he provides for her all the necessities a man should provide for his wife. I told asked him what happened in his life that put in the frame of mind he was in. He went on to tell me the type of home he was brought up in. I asked him if what he went through wasn’t good enough for him, why does he think it’s good enough for his son? He broke down and cried. I asked him why put his son through the exact same things he went through. He said it’s all he knew. I told him it’s an excuse. He’s no longer surrounded by his past environment. He’s engulfed by the painful memories of it. He must break free, let it go so he can no longer allow his wrong way of thinking to continue to keep him trapped and sabotage his life. I told him if he wanted to fall in love with his wife it had to start at that very moment by working on it. He first had to release those ill feelings of his past, because he’s not in that situation any longer. I explains its the thoughts about it he keep revisiting that has him trapped in a confused mind. This is how most people live, they allow all of the mess inside to lead them into bad situations that are CLEARLY bad, but they can’t see it. They can’t see through the mud (their pasts).

This is why I tell people money, fame, and fortune DOESN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY. So many people think it will, but it DOESN’T. It only empowers people and equip them with more to mask the truth. However, the sad REALITY of it all is the TRUTH always shows up some how (drug and alcohol addictions, promiscuousness, infidelity, low esteem, lack of confidence, dependability -quickly clinging to others, unstableness, in and out of relationships, anger, rage, inability to love oneself, inability to trust, co-dependency-living through others and depending on them for your happiness, depressions, anxiety, suicidal, homicidal, etc…etc). Having all of the resources in the world won’t fix a messed up inner man. It never will. This is why people commit suicide, because the inner demons beat them down, they don’t know how to let go of past issues that has tormented them for so long. They seem to be doing okay to others, but inside they’re a complete mess. They fake and front until they can’t do it anymore; they do the unthinkable; they kill themselves or sometimes other people.

I want people to know that EVERYTHING revolves around the way we think. I’ve said it a million times. Think about it! The feelings don’t come first, the thoughts come first and then the feelings and then the actions. When you have never dealt with the thoughts it means you’ve never dealt with the feelings and therefore it’s all compacted inside. I know this is a gross metaphor, but have you ever been constipated? If you stay constipated long enough it can potentially kill you if you don’t get help. Seriously, it can cause your body to do things you wouldn’t believe because of the poison not being able to be released. This is EXACTLY how past issues are, they cause an infection inside that festers until it destroys the individual.

People don’t understand it ALL revolves around the WRONG WAY OF THINKING. If you take in the negative troubles you’ve gone through as negative and throughout your life although the actual events are BEHIND you carry the thoughts of them they will mess you up. No matter what it was you can let it go. You won’t EVER forget it, but you don’t have to let it define your entire life. You can lay those thoughts down and free yourself from those pains of yesterday. Just know in order to do this you MUST know that it is YOU who is doing this to yourself by the wrong way of thinking. You may be angry over it, you may be hurt over it, it’s alright feel what you feel, but then realize that you’re no longer in that moment. You’ve let your entire life pass you by while you’ve remained stuck in a moment of time that’s no longer present. In actuality your past is still your present and it’s because you keep the thoughts open like a fresh wound. You’re not allowing it to heal. It’s not the past it’s YOU whose causing you pain, because of your wrong way of thinking.

I challenge you to believe you’re worthy of PEACE. Let those painful thoughts go, unlock the chains that have you bound. It’s time. You deserve peace in your mind, soul, and spirit. No one is hurting you but you. Let go of the thoughts that are causing you to lead a destructive life. Let go of those thoughts that are causing you to believe you’re not worthy, because you are worthy of peace. Let go of those thoughts that have you TRAPPED. Whomever hurt you is no longer hurting you, you’re suffering from the thoughts of those past moments and those thoughts have you TRAPPED. IT IS NO MORE. Let it go! Free yourself today. It’s time to consciously focus on having thoughts of peace. Every time those thoughts try to creep up you say NO MORE. “Say I forgive those who have hurt me and I won’t allow the thoughts of it to keep me bound and confused; I won’t be fill with anger and self loathe anymore. I want, need, and desire peace.” If you stay focused you will be aware of the negative thoughts and every time you have one if you say NO MORE it is over, you will see how they will begin to fade. THIS WILL NOT WORK IF WHEN THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS COME YOU MARINADE IN THEM AND ALLOW THEM TO PUT YOU RIGHT BACK IN THAT BAD STATE OF MIND. You must engage and be willing to let them go. When you get the understanding that it’s ONLY the thoughts that are fueling those feelings and behaviors and by being consciously aware of them you will be able to change the negative into the positive. This will change your life! Please try it today!



If I could I would stand on the highest mountain and yell “our thoughts are what fuels our emotions (feelings), and in return our actions/behaviors.” I chose the above title because EVERYTHING COMES FROM SOMETHING. What I mean by this is no matter what we think, feel, say, do, or act; it all comes from something previously experienced; whether good or bad.

I am dedicating this post to people who have distorted ways of thinking about their significant others. The purpose is to try and help people understand EVERYTHING we do in our lives are controlled by our ways of thinking. Unfortunately many people are allowing troubling thoughts to lead them into destructive behaviors.

To further elaborate, I’ve heard a couple of stories this week about men killing their significant others, because they found out they were cheating. Infidelity is a tough pill to swallow whether in a marital relationship or a dating relationship. However, it’s never worth losing all control and doing something unthinkable. Once you do anything it’s done, some things can be retracted and done over, but many cannot. WHATEVER YOU SAY OR DO PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, OR MENTALLY to someone else YOU CAN’T EVER RE-DO WHAT’S DONE.

Unless you have something wrong that has you unable to mentally understand; you’re aware of when a significant other is cheating. People say they didn’t know or this and that, but it’s a big lie. People know, whether they want to face the truth or not. Some don’t want to accept it as fact, but the signs are staring them in their faces in some form or another. Regardless of the situation when a person steps outside of the relationship it is NO REASON to hurt or kill that person and/or the person they’re cheating with.

I know how upsetting it can be, because no one wants to be hurt this way. It can change how you feel about your partner and the relationship as a whole. However, it’s STILL no reason to hurt or kill the individual’s involved. People who do have lost control. They’ve allowed their thoughts and feelings over the situation to lead them down roads of pure destruction. IT’S NOT WORTH IT.

If someone is cheating on you the couple needs to sit down and talk it out. Figure out what’s wrong with the relationship and try to fix it. People have a millions reasons as to why they cheat. They’re ALL EXCUSES, every last one of them. Who ever is cheating needs to take ownership and responsibility. Face whatever the problem is and fix it. If the cheater has fallen out of love then say it. If the cheater doesn’t want to be in the relationship then say it. DON’T cheat, because you then bring other problems into an already bad situation. It compiles on top of problems already there; which adds gasoline to an already burning fire.

Cheating is NEVER the solution!!! On the other hand if it happens it’s no reason to hurt or kill anyone. NEVER!! People who do has no control over their emotions and has allowed their emotions planted by their seeds of thought to influence and control their actions/behaviors. They’re not thinking rationally, because their uncontrolled thoughts has lead to anger and rage. IT’S NEVER WORTH THIS!

People must learn to control themselves. Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t entitle either person the right to hurt or kill that person. People who are contemplating or who has done this need help. Hurting or killing someone doesn’t fix the situation. It only causes problems for those who commit the senseless acts. People must learn to move on. If a person cheats on you, they too are dealing with unresolved issues. However, truth be told, people who hurt or kill are also dealing with unresolved issues. People don’t wake up and say I’m going to hurt or kill my significant other, things have happened over time to have gotten these types of people in this state of mind. A state of mind in which all rational thinking has been lost. Most times these types of people have ALWAYS had distorted ways of thinking whether others knew it or not. Distorting thinking (thoughts) is what lead to the breakdown. These types of people need help. They allow their ways of thinking to cause them to act out in ways unbecoming.

EVERY SINGLE THING IS DICTATED BY HOW WE TAKE IT IN AND PROCESS IT. If you take something in AS BAD and you constantly allow it to play around in your head it will mess you up, because this is what you’ve allowed. I don’t care what it pertains too, this is across the board. Our thoughts can be powerful and they CAN lead people to do unimaginable things if people aren’t conscious of those thoughts. Thoughts can fester into things causing chaos for all involved and sometimes for innocent people who had nothing to do with the situation. It’s so unfortunate.

If you’re with someone and they don’t think enough of you to stay loyal, dedicated, and faithful to you, then hello, RED FLAG! In my personal opinion it’s no reason to stress yourself out about, because YOU CAN’T CONTROL WHAT THE NEXT PERSON DOES AT NO GIVEN TIME. If who you’re with isn’t valuing your relationship, this is something the both of you need to work on. If someone steps outside of the relationship it is them who made the decision to do so. Value yourself and make a decision as to what it is you want to do next. Don’t allow it to send you on a whirlwind of destruction (whether mentally or physically). It’s not worth it and they’e not worth it. If they were they wouldn’t have cheated in the first place. Keep your thoughts and emotions about the situation in check and deal with it accordingly.

Another side of this type of situation is many of the individuals who choose the decisions to hurt or kill their significant others are people who have had issues long before making the decision. These are people who are often insecure, controlling, obsessive, or possessive. The signs were present long before they made the decisions to do what they chose to do. Too many people get into relationships with individuals who have clear signs of these problems, but those involved choose to continue on in the relationships (for whatever reasons mostly which are they think the person will change). These types of individuals often have had problems handling situations for a long time, so imagine how they will handle infidelity. This is why I always say “what you accept from the start is what you will end up with.” Only difference is it is often worst.

I was cheated on in a 12 year relationship and my decision was to forgive him. We talked about it and he gave me the spill of his I’m sorry, but after the second time, I sent him packing. If he couldn’t value me or our marriage what on earth did I need someone like that for? The first time wasn’t a mistake, it was a bad decision. It hurt me, but I chose to get past it, but when it happened again, I let him see the door. It’s not worth the heartache or headache. You can’t control other people. We hope for them to act as they should, but we also get what we allow. First time was on me, second time was on him, and I wouldn’t allow a third. LIFE GOES ON, unless you choose to let it knock you down and out. No one and I mean no one is worth my peace or your peace, but it is you who have to understand it and make the decision to believe it.

I pray people find peace in their minds. Things we endure in this world aren’t always fair, but they’re never things that we should allow to cripple us. I don’t care how bad, it’s always a choice as to how we choose to deal with things. Lord knows I’ve gone through some trials and tribulations. No matter how they look; they come to make us strong. People who don’t believe it are those who allow their situations to keep them in places (states of minds) that they don’t have to be in. It’s NEVER as bad as it seems, but it’s ALWAYS as bad as we make it! That’s my motto and I firmly believe it.

You can’t control your significant other; no matter how much you try. One thing you can’t do is make someone love you, want to stay with you, or NOT cheat on you. However, you can control how you respond and how you allow someone else to affect your peace of mind.

I learn from everything and one thing I know is true. If you allow it to happen, it will happen. If you lose focus, you’ve lost control. For me, I choose peace.



A whole lot of people mess up when it comes to thinking things through by NOT taking the time to do so. People are too fixated on “right now.” They want what they want, they want it right now, and they don’t care what they have to do to get it. People fail to take serious what the repercussions of their actions may bring. They act out on things knowing full well they’re taking risks. When a person make decisions without thinking they will suffer the consequences of their own doings.

Many people make the dumbest decisions! The first thing people like to do is call them mistakes, they aren’t EVER mistakes, they’re bad choices/decisions. They risk their lives over sex by jumping into bed with a beauty only to get out with a BEAST (some form of disease or with a person who turned out to be everything THEY DIDN’T EXPECT). They risk their careers and all they’ve worked hard for over sex. They risk their marriages and other relationships over sex. All because they didn’t think things through. All it takes is a moment to think of what the repercussions or consequences your actions could cause you.

I’m not going to make sex the only topic in this post, but I did want to mention it in particular, because so many people of their own free will fall into the sex trap. Both men and women act as if they can’t control their urges when the truth is they can if they wanted to. To think of the problems it could potentially cause should be enough to keep people from being lead by their loins, but unfortunately it’s not. The person you risk it all to be with may look better, the sex may last longer, or feel better, but the bottom line is it’s still SEX and it’s NOT worth anyone ruining relationships, careers, or lives over.

People jump into so many bad situations without taking the time to think. Lives are changed forever simply because people don’t take an extra moment to think things through. It doesn’t matter what the situation; when a person don’t take the time to think things through there’s no one to blame but his or herself. People seem to care ONLY when they’re in trouble for whatever it is they’ve done. By then it’s TOO LATE; the damage has been done.

All of the old sayings are true “you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, everything that glitters isn’t gold, and because it looks good doesn’t mean it’s good for you.” It’s NO JOKE; this is for real! Stop doing things that are costing you your jobs, families, careers, lives, and/or freedom. Nothing is worth it when “it’s all said and done.”

A lot of marriages could be saved if people would think before they do things they can’t UNDO. I’m not singling out infidelity. However, it is a HUGE PROBLEM in relationships. I’m talking anything (the way you talk, the things you say, the things you do, etc, etc). Start taking time to think about how you speak to your loved ones. Take the time to think about how you treat them or what you’re saying to them (especially in anger). THINK BEFORE YOU GET ANGRY IN THE FIRST PLACE!

This topic spreads across many situations in people’s lives not only marriages and other relationships. It spills over into jobs, people are making bad decisions to take part in scams, stealing from their businesses or the public. Individuals or making bad decisions to steal from the federal government claiming things they know aren’t true. People are lying to get what they want, period no matter the risks taken! People make bad decisions to drive under the influence or get into the cars with someone who’s under the influence and because of it people have lost their lives or became forever maimed.

People have to get to a point where their morals, values, integrity, honesty, loyalty, etc.. keeps them from doing the wrong things. This is why AT ALL TIMES it’s important to be conscious of what you’re thinking and of what you’re doing. The more you do this, you will be more conscious of right and wrong. Don’t go along with wrong for no one and for goodness sakes stop willfully partaking in wrong. A lot of the problems people find themselves in are situations that could have been avoided if they took the time to think things through.

Look at all of the people who have harmed others in the heat of anger. Those life changing moments could have been avoided had they took the time to think things through. Such unnecessary loss of control. I could name hundreds of things that would fall into the category of consequences or repercussions people face all due to the fact they don’t take the time to think things through. Once you do it, it’s done. Once you say it, it’s said. You can’t take things back nor can you re-do them. At any given moment ALL you have is that moment. Make what you do matter!! Take the time to think before you take ANY actions (speaking or doing). If you don’t you could very well change the entire course of your life and start down a road you never intended to be on. It’s up to you!!



For those who think money OR what you do can buy love you’re wrong. Money doesn’t buy love, but it can buy the person who claims to be in love with you. This happens time and time again. People get into relationships and they start off by trying to buy the other person’s love. You do it from your heart and you do it to satisfy the other person, but IT DOESN’T WORK! You will end up PHYSICALLY broke and if not physically broke you will definitely be BROKEN HEARTED after finding out you’re trying to fill an endless pit. The more you buy the more you will have to buy. When you stop buying you will see just what they think of you. Some people will spend money they don’t even have to satisfy their man or woman. Let me tell you this: they will never be satisfied, NEVER!!! You simply can’t buy love, no matter how hard you try. Some of you think what you do have you locked in and them locked down; YOU’RE WRONG! These types of people will take from you for as long as you give.

Some of you do things you’re ashamed of just to keep the individuals you think you love. Let me tell you something; if you have to stoop low to keep someone then YOU DON’T NEED THEM! Stop letting people treat you any kind of way in the name of what you THINK is love. The other person know it’s not love, but you THINK it is when there are clear signs that it isn’t. WAKE UP! Many people are miserable in their relationships, because they’re spending most of their time exerting energy trying to satisfy their significant others. Yet, getting nothing in return, but grief.

When you find yourselves miserable all of the time, so worried you’re going to lose the other person, sad & depressed over your relationship, crying all of the time, alone yet you’re in a relationship, messing up your credit trying to keep up with the Jones’s so you can satisfy the other person, spending money you don’t have to spend, doing things you’re ashamed of, being mistreated-abused-disrespected-neglected, AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON. If you’re doing these things, you need to re-evaluate yourself and the relationship you’re in. If the other person doesn’t REALLY love you it’s NOT love that’s blind, YOU ARE! Pull them scales from your eyes and face the truth!!!! It’s staring you in the face.

I will say again and again. No matter what you do, how you do it, or how good you’re at doing it; YOU CAN’T MAKE THE PERSON YOU LOVE, LOVE YOU BACK! You can be used and abused in the process of trying, but it will NOT make the other perosn love you. Stop dreaming and face reality. If you have to buy them, it’s not love! If you have to bend over backwards doing things you’re ashamed of; it’s not love! If you have to force it in any kind of way; it’s not love!

Your significant other OR the person YOU consider as your significant other, (because they may not consider you as theres) will give you signs of the truth. It’s up to you to accept it. If you choose to not accept the truth, they will treat you EXACTLY how you allow. I WANTED TO MAKE THIS SHORT, PLAIN, AND SIMPLE. PLEASE WAKE UP!!



I’ve been on vacation and purposely away from computers etc. I’m back and it’s time to write. Something have been on my mind. First, let me say that by sleepwalking, I me to let your life pass you by without trying to improve your current situations. You’re going along every day with no motivation for change. I see too many people who are settling in every aspect of their lives when they don’t have too.

There’s more to life than work, work, work (for those of you who are working). Some of you NEVER get to enjoy life. All you do is work, but never enjoy the “fruits of your labor.” It’s sad, but many of you don’t even like your jobs. You work because you have too, but you’re unhappy with what you’re doing. You go to work every day, but you are miserable. The problem for a lot of you is the fact that you’re afraid of change. You are afraid of something new, etc. Although it may be new it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s hard; it’s simply brand new. You can learn anything you want too. Stop allowing fear to keep you stuck and basically sleeping walking through life. Go for something new, something that makes you happy. “NOTHING BEATS A FAIL, BUT A TRY.” Stop thinking and dreaming about it; and do it!

Then there’s those who are so complacent. They don’t want to try anything new. They are content with the way things are going in their lives. However, they’re always asking for something from someone else (always), but they don’t exert any effort to change their situations. I believe fear may have a part in it, but I believe being lazy, complacent, and content has a lot to do with it too. It’s time to wake up and stop sleepwalking through life. Nothing changes unless you make an effort to do something different.

Some people never go anywhere. They don’t do anything enjoyable. They do the same things day in and day out. This is a sad way to live. It’s time to stop it and start enjoying your life. Make an effort to do something enjoyable a couple of times a month. Some of you don’t want to spend a dime. Well, you can’t take it with you when you die. You may as well enjoy some of it while you live (sometimes). Some of you may feel you don’t have it to spare, but remember it doesn’t always take money to do something enjoyable.

Many of you are settling in many areas of your lives. You’re stuck in dead end relationships. You keep going around in circles, yet getting absolutely nowhere. Instead of trying to fix things, many of you are making them worst by doing nothing. Although married many of you live separately in your homes, because you don’t communicate. You keep doing the same ole things which boils down to (separation and avoidance). You tell others what’s going on and how you feel instead of talking to your significant others. This doesn’t fix anything, it makes things worst and only causes more separation, envy, anger, resentment, regret, and misery. Stop sleepwalking through life your lives. It’s time to wake up and get it together. You deserve to have peace and happiness, but you will never have it if you keep doing what you’re doing. Wake up!

Whatever is causing many of you to sleepwalk your lives away, it’s time to WAKE UP! Try something new, stop going around in circles, and make decisions to do something about your current situations. Stop allowing things such as complacency, fear, laziness, contentment, etc., to keep you stuck in places you REALLY don’t want to be. Stop sleepwalking! Wake up and smell the flowers, because one day you’ll be dead and gone. The flowers you get then; YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SMELL. Start enjoying your lives, change whatever you need to change in order for it to be better. Peace and love to you!!