WHAT YOU ALLOW TO TAKE ROOT IS WHAT WILL GROW

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If I could I would stand on the highest mountain and yell “our thoughts are what fuels our emotions (feelings), and in return our actions/behaviors.” I chose the above title because EVERYTHING COMES FROM SOMETHING. What I mean by this is no matter what we think, feel, say, do, or act; it all comes from something previously experienced; whether good or bad.

I am dedicating this post to people who have distorted ways of thinking about their significant others. The purpose is to try and help people understand EVERYTHING we do in our lives are controlled by our ways of thinking. Unfortunately many people are allowing troubling thoughts to lead them into destructive behaviors.

To further elaborate, I’ve heard a couple of stories this week about men killing their significant others, because they found out they were cheating. Infidelity is a tough pill to swallow whether in a marital relationship or a dating relationship. However, it’s never worth losing all control and doing something unthinkable. Once you do anything it’s done, some things can be retracted and done over, but many cannot. WHATEVER YOU SAY OR DO PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, OR MENTALLY to someone else YOU CAN’T EVER RE-DO WHAT’S DONE.

Unless you have something wrong that has you unable to mentally understand; you’re aware of when a significant other is cheating. People say they didn’t know or this and that, but it’s a big lie. People know, whether they want to face the truth or not. Some don’t want to accept it as fact, but the signs are staring them in their faces in some form or another. Regardless of the situation when a person steps outside of the relationship it is NO REASON to hurt or kill that person and/or the person they’re cheating with.

I know how upsetting it can be, because no one wants to be hurt this way. It can change how you feel about your partner and the relationship as a whole. However, it’s STILL no reason to hurt or kill the individual’s involved. People who do have lost control. They’ve allowed their thoughts and feelings over the situation to lead them down roads of pure destruction. IT’S NOT WORTH IT.

If someone is cheating on you the couple needs to sit down and talk it out. Figure out what’s wrong with the relationship and try to fix it. People have a millions reasons as to why they cheat. They’re ALL EXCUSES, every last one of them. Who ever is cheating needs to take ownership and responsibility. Face whatever the problem is and fix it. If the cheater has fallen out of love then say it. If the cheater doesn’t want to be in the relationship then say it. DON’T cheat, because you then bring other problems into an already bad situation. It compiles on top of problems already there; which adds gasoline to an already burning fire.

Cheating is NEVER the solution!!! On the other hand if it happens it’s no reason to hurt or kill anyone. NEVER!! People who do has no control over their emotions and has allowed their emotions planted by their seeds of thought to influence and control their actions/behaviors. They’re not thinking rationally, because their uncontrolled thoughts has lead to anger and rage. IT’S NEVER WORTH THIS!

People must learn to control themselves. Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t entitle either person the right to hurt or kill that person. People who are contemplating or who has done this need help. Hurting or killing someone doesn’t fix the situation. It only causes problems for those who commit the senseless acts. People must learn to move on. If a person cheats on you, they too are dealing with unresolved issues. However, truth be told, people who hurt or kill are also dealing with unresolved issues. People don’t wake up and say I’m going to hurt or kill my significant other, things have happened over time to have gotten these types of people in this state of mind. A state of mind in which all rational thinking has been lost. Most times these types of people have ALWAYS had distorted ways of thinking whether others knew it or not. Distorting thinking (thoughts) is what lead to the breakdown. These types of people need help. They allow their ways of thinking to cause them to act out in ways unbecoming.

EVERY SINGLE THING IS DICTATED BY HOW WE TAKE IT IN AND PROCESS IT. If you take something in AS BAD and you constantly allow it to play around in your head it will mess you up, because this is what you’ve allowed. I don’t care what it pertains too, this is across the board. Our thoughts can be powerful and they CAN lead people to do unimaginable things if people aren’t conscious of those thoughts. Thoughts can fester into things causing chaos for all involved and sometimes for innocent people who had nothing to do with the situation. It’s so unfortunate.

If you’re with someone and they don’t think enough of you to stay loyal, dedicated, and faithful to you, then hello, RED FLAG! In my personal opinion it’s no reason to stress yourself out about, because YOU CAN’T CONTROL WHAT THE NEXT PERSON DOES AT NO GIVEN TIME. If who you’re with isn’t valuing your relationship, this is something the both of you need to work on. If someone steps outside of the relationship it is them who made the decision to do so. Value yourself and make a decision as to what it is you want to do next. Don’t allow it to send you on a whirlwind of destruction (whether mentally or physically). It’s not worth it and they’e not worth it. If they were they wouldn’t have cheated in the first place. Keep your thoughts and emotions about the situation in check and deal with it accordingly.

Another side of this type of situation is many of the individuals who choose the decisions to hurt or kill their significant others are people who have had issues long before making the decision. These are people who are often insecure, controlling, obsessive, or possessive. The signs were present long before they made the decisions to do what they chose to do. Too many people get into relationships with individuals who have clear signs of these problems, but those involved choose to continue on in the relationships (for whatever reasons mostly which are they think the person will change). These types of individuals often have had problems handling situations for a long time, so imagine how they will handle infidelity. This is why I always say “what you accept from the start is what you will end up with.” Only difference is it is often worst.

I was cheated on in a 12 year relationship and my decision was to forgive him. We talked about it and he gave me the spill of his I’m sorry, but after the second time, I sent him packing. If he couldn’t value me or our marriage what on earth did I need someone like that for? The first time wasn’t a mistake, it was a bad decision. It hurt me, but I chose to get past it, but when it happened again, I let him see the door. It’s not worth the heartache or headache. You can’t control other people. We hope for them to act as they should, but we also get what we allow. First time was on me, second time was on him, and I wouldn’t allow a third. LIFE GOES ON, unless you choose to let it knock you down and out. No one and I mean no one is worth my peace or your peace, but it is you who have to understand it and make the decision to believe it.

I pray people find peace in their minds. Things we endure in this world aren’t always fair, but they’re never things that we should allow to cripple us. I don’t care how bad, it’s always a choice as to how we choose to deal with things. Lord knows I’ve gone through some trials and tribulations. No matter how they look; they come to make us strong. People who don’t believe it are those who allow their situations to keep them in places (states of minds) that they don’t have to be in. It’s NEVER as bad as it seems, but it’s ALWAYS as bad as we make it! That’s my motto and I firmly believe it.

You can’t control your significant other; no matter how much you try. One thing you can’t do is make someone love you, want to stay with you, or NOT cheat on you. However, you can control how you respond and how you allow someone else to affect your peace of mind.

I learn from everything and one thing I know is true. If you allow it to happen, it will happen. If you lose focus, you’ve lost control. For me, I choose peace.

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