This post will hit home for some people, because many of you are in current relationships battling the very same issues you had in the beginning of your relationships. It’s because people except others according to who they REALLY are (oneself NOT the other person). This is fueled by what you’re dealing with inside that you’re not addressing. Some of you desperately try to hide it, but it shows in the decisions you make, what you say, and what you do (all coming from how you think about things). I’ve told people over and over you can’t change anyone else, especially when you need to change yourself. What you accept in the beginning is EXACTLY what you will end up with most of the time. If people would stop getting into relationships thinking the other person will change or trying to change the other person it will save a lot of problems for many. If you feel you need to change someone else IT’S A CLEAR SIGN YOU NEED TO DO SOME CHANGING YOURSELF.
Too many people don’t look at their relationships realistically. They go solely off of feelings of their hearts and not by what the truth shows. People are meeting one another and are getting into relationships for all of the wrong reasons and in all of the wrong ways. When you’re a mess, you normally attract mess and if by chance you attract something good, by the time you’re finished IF they allow they too will be a mess.
I’m a woman and it hurts to see my sisters getting into these relationships with men who disrespect straight from the start, They stay with him because he’s fine and can perform good in bed, but never mind the fact he has nothing to bring to the table, never mind the fact he mistreats her, never mind the fact he abuses her, never mind the fact she’s a non factor to him; and the list goes on. So many woman have lost their lives, they stay in relationships with men who are CLEARLY abusive. These women are so messed up inside they can’t see the truth, because they can’t see past their own issues that has them bound.
Stop getting into relationships that you know won’t work. When you are constantly fussing and fighting with the person you’re dating why would you marry them? It’s because you have issues you need to deal with. If you didn’t you would see the truth and know this isn’t good for you. I’m not saying don’t marry them, but I am saying you should wait until the both of you mature and are capable of positive communication. Communication is key in relationships. If you start out unable to effectively communicate the ONLY way the relationship will work is you both learn to communicate and do it effectively. Far too many are taking past pains into their relationships only to ruin them.
There are many situations people find themselves in when they shouldn’t be nor do they have to be. People continue on into bad situations knowing they’re bad. It doesn’t make sense and it’s a clear sign of immaturity and insecurities coming from the wrong way of thinking.
I recently met a young man who outright told me he was married for eight years, but he wasn’t in love with his wife. He didn’t love her when he got with her. He admitted she was pretty and it was about sex, but then she got pregnant so he decided to marry her. He said that he provides for her all the necessities a man should provide for his wife. I told asked him what happened in his life that put in the frame of mind he was in. He went on to tell me the type of home he was brought up in. I asked him if what he went through wasn’t good enough for him, why does he think it’s good enough for his son? He broke down and cried. I asked him why put his son through the exact same things he went through. He said it’s all he knew. I told him it’s an excuse. He’s no longer surrounded by his past environment. He’s engulfed by the painful memories of it. He must break free, let it go so he can no longer allow his wrong way of thinking to continue to keep him trapped and sabotage his life. I told him if he wanted to fall in love with his wife it had to start at that very moment by working on it. He first had to release those ill feelings of his past, because he’s not in that situation any longer. I explains its the thoughts about it he keep revisiting that has him trapped in a confused mind. This is how most people live, they allow all of the mess inside to lead them into bad situations that are CLEARLY bad, but they can’t see it. They can’t see through the mud (their pasts).
This is why I tell people money, fame, and fortune DOESN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY. So many people think it will, but it DOESN’T. It only empowers people and equip them with more to mask the truth. However, the sad REALITY of it all is the TRUTH always shows up some how (drug and alcohol addictions, promiscuousness, infidelity, low esteem, lack of confidence, dependability -quickly clinging to others, unstableness, in and out of relationships, anger, rage, inability to love oneself, inability to trust, co-dependency-living through others and depending on them for your happiness, depressions, anxiety, suicidal, homicidal, etc…etc). Having all of the resources in the world won’t fix a messed up inner man. It never will. This is why people commit suicide, because the inner demons beat them down, they don’t know how to let go of past issues that has tormented them for so long. They seem to be doing okay to others, but inside they’re a complete mess. They fake and front until they can’t do it anymore; they do the unthinkable; they kill themselves or sometimes other people.
I want people to know that EVERYTHING revolves around the way we think. I’ve said it a million times. Think about it! The feelings don’t come first, the thoughts come first and then the feelings and then the actions. When you have never dealt with the thoughts it means you’ve never dealt with the feelings and therefore it’s all compacted inside. I know this is a gross metaphor, but have you ever been constipated? If you stay constipated long enough it can potentially kill you if you don’t get help. Seriously, it can cause your body to do things you wouldn’t believe because of the poison not being able to be released. This is EXACTLY how past issues are, they cause an infection inside that festers until it destroys the individual.
People don’t understand it ALL revolves around the WRONG WAY OF THINKING. If you take in the negative troubles you’ve gone through as negative and throughout your life although the actual events are BEHIND you carry the thoughts of them they will mess you up. No matter what it was you can let it go. You won’t EVER forget it, but you don’t have to let it define your entire life. You can lay those thoughts down and free yourself from those pains of yesterday. Just know in order to do this you MUST know that it is YOU who is doing this to yourself by the wrong way of thinking. You may be angry over it, you may be hurt over it, it’s alright feel what you feel, but then realize that you’re no longer in that moment. You’ve let your entire life pass you by while you’ve remained stuck in a moment of time that’s no longer present. In actuality your past is still your present and it’s because you keep the thoughts open like a fresh wound. You’re not allowing it to heal. It’s not the past it’s YOU whose causing you pain, because of your wrong way of thinking.
I challenge you to believe you’re worthy of PEACE. Let those painful thoughts go, unlock the chains that have you bound. It’s time. You deserve peace in your mind, soul, and spirit. No one is hurting you but you. Let go of the thoughts that are causing you to lead a destructive life. Let go of those thoughts that are causing you to believe you’re not worthy, because you are worthy of peace. Let go of those thoughts that have you TRAPPED. Whomever hurt you is no longer hurting you, you’re suffering from the thoughts of those past moments and those thoughts have you TRAPPED. IT IS NO MORE. Let it go! Free yourself today. It’s time to consciously focus on having thoughts of peace. Every time those thoughts try to creep up you say NO MORE. “Say I forgive those who have hurt me and I won’t allow the thoughts of it to keep me bound and confused; I won’t be fill with anger and self loathe anymore. I want, need, and desire peace.” If you stay focused you will be aware of the negative thoughts and every time you have one if you say NO MORE it is over, you will see how they will begin to fade. THIS WILL NOT WORK IF WHEN THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS COME YOU MARINADE IN THEM AND ALLOW THEM TO PUT YOU RIGHT BACK IN THAT BAD STATE OF MIND. You must engage and be willing to let them go. When you get the understanding that it’s ONLY the thoughts that are fueling those feelings and behaviors and by being consciously aware of them you will be able to change the negative into the positive. This will change your life! Please try it today!