No matter what we go through in life, the only time life here on earth stops is when we die. Many people are alive, but they’re not living. Many work hard all of their lives only to not enjoy it. They’re too busy rushing here and there, going to work, and working hard, but they don’t enjoy their lives.
This post is not particularly about those situations. This post is about those who don’t want to let go after the loss of a loved one. There are many reasons for this, but not one is worth letting your life pass by while you yet live.
Too many want to give up when they lose their significant others. Losing someone happens for all kinds of reasons. However, when it comes to breakups for some it’s like experiencing a death. Some people find it very hard to let go. This does nothing but cause a person unnecessary pain and suffering. I sometimes ask people look at oneself as if they were giving advice to their child. If your child was with someone who no longer wanted to be with him or her and the child was stressed out and miserably unhappy over the loss, what advice would you give? Would you say no matter how bad the person treats you or no matter how much they don’t want to be with you; don’t let go of them? Would you tell him or her stalk them, cling to them, cry, throw a fit, but don’t let them go? Would you tell him or her to kill them, kill yourself, become depressed, do what you have to do but don’t let them go? Would you tell him or her to drink your troubles away, drug your troubles away, isolate yourself and cry all day, but don’t let them go? Would you tell him or her wrap yourself around the person’s leg, jump on their car, threaten harm to them or to yourself, but don’t let them go? Would you tell him or her to stay in the house all day and continue to pine over the person, but don’t let them go? Would you tell him or her to give up on life if they can’t have the person, but whatever he or she does; don’t let them go? I know this sounds ridiculous and guess what? It is, but these are things people do when they lose someone they love! A good parent would not tell their child to continue to go through unnecessary pain and suffering over someone who NO LONGER wants to be with their child. If you can agree with this, why do some of you do it to yourselves?
Life is NOT over simply because a relationship ends. Some people give too much or ALL of their power to those they’re involved with and this is why they come unglued when the relationship ends. Some people don’t know how to function on their own, because they’ve allowed the person they were with to take complete control over their lives. This happens to people who didn’t really have control in the first place. Individuals become too complacent in relationships they think it’s a beautiful thing at first until reality comes a knocking. This is when people lose it. They become too engulfed in their woes and can’t see what they’re doing to themselves.
When it’s over, the best thing a person can do is take a moment to breathe and then FACE REALITY. If a person no longer wants to be with you, even IF you were the problem you have to accept it for what it is; pick up the pieces and move on. Stop subjecting yourselves to all of the drama. When it’s over let it go. To do so is only as hard AS A PERSON MAKES IT. As I said before, when you can’t let go the issue isn’t the other person it’s you. If a person don’t want to be with you no matter why, LET THEM GO! That’s the bottom line. Your pain will fade, but it cannot begin to do so if you continue to waddle in self pity and self inflicted hurt. Remember it’s not about the other person (they’re not relevant at this point), it’s about you.
When the loss is due to death life goes on still applies, because one thing for certain and without a doubt is one day we all will die. When a person loses their significant other it’s a hard thing to go through. A person has every right to grieve and they should, but grieving shouldn’t last forever. I’m not trying to tell anyone how to feel or that they shouldn’t grieve, but what I am saying is they shouldn’t allow it to consume and take over their lives. In other words life still goes on. If you don’t move on life goes right on without you. None of us are here to stay. It’s tough to imagine or to think about, but the reality is what it is. No one can change this fact. How we deal with the loss highly determines how we move forward. It’s up to each of us as to what we decide.
The moral of this post is life goes on no matter what we go through. We all have our individual lives to live. It is up to each of us individually as to how we deal with any and everything that comes our way. People deal with things differently according to what they’re going through inside. This is the driving force of each of us. Meaning, the real truth is housed inside. It comes out through our thoughts, feelings, and actions. For those who haven’t quite dealt with what is inside they allow this to interfere with every decision they make in life and unfortunately this is shown when people can’t let go. You may not want to let go, but you simply can’t keep hold to someone who is no longer there (whether absent physically or mentally). Trying too hinders your life and the ability to heal and move forward.