This post is in honor of domestic violence month, however the fight against it should be ongoing. People shouldn’t set aside a particular time to talk about it, this should be talked about all of the time. One thing for sure is it can be prevented like a lot of other things. LET ME EXPLAIN. I’ve talked many times about seeing the signs, but I also know most aren’t at a place in their lives to be willing to accept the signs. This is because they aren’t mature enough. They may be old enough, but age certainly doesn’t make us mature.
People can avoid being victims of domestic abuse. How you may ask? My answer is by never allowing it from the jump. I don’t care what anyone says, there’s always signs and although a person may not respond to those signs, it doesn’t make them any less visible.
Please don’t allow your hearts to get in the way. I don’t care how much you’re feeling, you must take into consideration what is happening in your relationship. Both men and women get too caught up in the emotions. When this happens people lose focus. People let too much get by when they’re going off of feelings and emotions.
As I’ve mentioned many times, I don’t care how subtle a person does things, they will ALWAYS show their true tendencies. Sometimes they may not show them directly to you, but they will show them in your presence. This is a SIGN. Sometimes a person will show them towards someone else, but believe me they will sooner or later be directed towards you.
Please understand early in a relationship if a person does any of the things listed please RE-EVALUATE the relationship, before you let your hearts lead you wrong. If the person you’re with physically put their hands on you in any way, talk badly to you or about you, try to control your every move, isolate you from others, possessive or obsessive towards you, try to take over your life and make you do what they want you to do, tell you what you can or can’t wear, tell you where you can or can’t go, tell you what you can and can’t do, get mad or angry easily, throws or punches things, get upset when others are around you because they want you to his or herself all of the time, force you to do things you don’t want to do, very aggressive toward you or others, etc.
If any of the above is happening in your relationship and your dating, please back off, because there is a great chance things will only become worse. STOP marrying people who are abusive to you before marriage. People don’t want to accept the truth, because they feel they’re in love. Think about it! If the person you’re with really loved you in a HEALTHY way they wouldn’t do any of the above. It’s an unhealthy way to love and I plead with you to not allow your feelings to lead you wrong.
You don’t have to be mature in order to use your common sense. Now, I know some people don’t seem to have common sense, but please see the truth for what it is. I’ve seen horrible affects of domestic violence. The things people do to the one’s they supposedly love is horrendous and sad.
Don’t stay in abusive relationships. Don’t tolerate abuse in ANY FORM. Don’t stay long enough to be too AFRAID to leave. Don’t stay long enough until you feel too TRAPPED to leave (giving all power to him or her). Don’t stay long enough where you have children and use them as an excuse to stay. Don’t stay long enough to find yourself crippled, blinded, maimed in anyway, or even worst; KILLED. Too many lives are lost due to domestic violence when it could have been prevented.
STOP getting into these unhealthy relationships where they’re clearly unhealthy. ANYTHING outside of HEALTHY is UNHEALTHY and a POTENTIAL for DANGER. Love isn’t any of this! Too many are getting into relationships for many wrong reasons. People need to stop giving their lives to unnecessary drama. Don’t let that first shove, slap, twist of the arm, choke, spit on, threat, etc get by. Put on the brakes immediately! Don’t ACCEPT I’m kidding or I’m sorry, because IT WILL MOST LIKELY HAPPEN AGAIN.
You all may think I’m being a bit cautious, you’re wrong. I’m being VERY cautious, because DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is REAL. I’ve seen men and women who willfully got into awful situations that they could have and should have avoided. I can’t stress enough how IMPORTANT it is for people to see abuse for what it is and to see it for what it isn’t. IT IS NOT LOVE, not EVER! I don’t care how good you feel and how your heart have you all discombobulated. People need to see the truth for what it is.
Below is a poem from one of the first books I wrote. I hope you can see the picture in your mind as you read the poem. Domestic violence is a awful thing for anyone to endure. There’s absolutely no love worth it. In fact IT’S NOT LOVE AT ALL. Abuse comes from a hurt soul and it’s accepted by a confused soul.
Flowers for Me
The guy that I loved was a very violent man
His last attack on me my body couldn’t withstand
I stayed too long and now it is too late
Take heed anyone who can possibly relate
I didn’t want to go, but I had no choice
Don’t be sad at my funeral instead rejoice
I was punched, choked, and even knocked out
Being threatened by him if I screamed or shout
Fearing the worst on this day I begged for my life
Ignoring all of my pleas he pulled out a knife
Sticking and slicing as I fell with a plop
Blood pouring everywhere as if never to stop
Out of all the beatings this was the worst attack
I should have left long ago never looking back
The ambulance came for me on this day
Then the Paramedic called me in D.O.A
It was a shock to everyone that knew of me
Since I told no one of all the beatings you see
I’ve never gotten flowers before
Today I got roses, carnations, and more
So many flowers arranged beautifully
Not for my eyes, but for others to see
Guess what? I even got tulips too
And a beautiful guestbook signed for me by you
First time in my life I got flowers today
And so many gathered around in dismay
To say their goodbye’s and farewell’s too
I hope this tragedy never happens to you
If you find yourself in a relationship like mine
Get out now! Before you run out of time