Trying to save someone is the WRONG attitude to have. You can offer assistance and you can be there for him or her, but you can’t save them UNLESS they want to be saved. For years both men and women have gotten into relationships with individuals who has a lot of issues. They know the individuals they’ve gotten involved has issues, but in their minds they really think they can handle them. However, unbeknown to them they can’t.
People who find themselves in these situations start out genuinely trying to help the individuals they’re with out of love for them. They pour out all of the love they can to help them in thinking the person will change. Initially they may see what they think is change, but it’s not. It’s the individual giving them what they want in order to hold on to them. This is a problem, because no matter how much you love someone they WILL not change until they’re ready. Unfortunately for many that time never comes.
Many women take men into their homes and lives. They try to save them from their own lives, but it doesn’t work. These women lose their sense of security, self worth, who they are as women, etc. They lose money they could have used for other things trying to take care of someone who’s not taking care of himself. They try to heal his wounds, but this isn’t possible. What normally happens is these women end up broken with no courage to get out of the relationship. They end up stressed out and full of anxiety. They no longer want to go to their own homes, because he’s there. Stop trying to be Ms. Fix It, because you will end up needing to be fixed!
I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard about these types of situations. It’s always the same stories only told by different people. Men do it too. They get with these women (for whatever reason), only to find they’ve gotten with someone who has issues they didn’t bargain for or can handle.
Like I’ve said before you can’t save anyone, but you can surely lose a sense of who you are in trying to save someone else. There are always signs showing who these individuals are from the start, but as I always say people look over the truth. It happens over and over again. No matter what people see or hear about what others have gone through, they still will get into these types of relationships. Love makes people do some crazy things. It’s because most don’t know what real love is. If you’re enduring constant turmoil I don’t care what anyone says, it isn’t love. People make love so many things it is not and this is why relationships go through so much drama.
This post doesn’t only relate to romantic relationships, it goes for anyone who’s trying to save someone. You can’t do it. You have good intentions all day long, but until those individuals decide to change all you will receive is headache and heartache. Most aren’t equipped to deal with these situations no amount of love equips you for what you will endure.
I believe our lives are about helping others, but not in this way. If someone is draining your energy, mind, your soul; this is not true love nor is it healthy to endure. This form of so called love changes people in unhealthy ways.