I get so tired of hearing people say “I can’t help who I fall in love with.” This is some straight bull crap. The heart may want what it wants, but a person can certainly help who they fall in love with. Those who don’t believe it are generally those who suffers the consequences of their bad choices.
I pray you get something from what I write. However, if you want me to write what you want to hear I’m sorry this isn’t the site for you. I will always write the truth of what I believe and about what I know. My goal is to help someone. I realize people see and do things differently. However, regardless of it all it depends on who people really are and NOT who they pretend or portray themselves to be as to the decisions they make. The truth of who anyone is will ALWAYS show in some manner through their actions.
Not believing you can’t help who you fall in love with is one reason so many people get into bad relationships. Relationships involving more than one person, relationships that are unhealthy, relationships causing stress, depression, anxiety, etc.
Most times, when one believes you can’t help who you fall in love with this person doesn’t look at the big picture. Instead they go off of feelings of their heart. They miss all of the signs. They often find his or herself in situations that are detrimental to their mental and physical well being.
It is true we become attracted to people, but the “buck doesn’t stop there.” When a person is focused on their feelings (their wants and desires, they forget about their true needs) they allow their hearts to lead them wrong. You may be very attracted to a person, but that doesn’t mean it is someone you should be with. Instead of many taking the time to work through this, they go with the flow until they’re knocked upside the head by bricks of reality. These individuals end up thinking about the individual all of the time (feening for him or her). They lose all focus because of feelings of their hearts. They find it hard getting the person off of their minds. It’s because they’ve continually held on to thoughts of this person. Most do this without knowing anything about the person other than the fact they want to be with him or her; which is the catylst to their fire.
If the person you’re attracted to is ANYTHING other than single and available you need to immediately get your heart in check. Take a moment and allow your hormones to settle down. Think about the situation at hand. If you’re more focused on the feelings you’re having, you’re bound to move in the direction of what your heart wants. This doesn’t only relate to ensuring they’re available it involves many other things. You won’t know any of it if you’re flying off of the feelings of your heart and not taking into consideration everything.
It’s foolish to fall in love with someone who’s not available, it’s foolish to fall for someone over his or her looks, or for ANY reason other than love. If people would take the time to look at their situations more closely and with clear heads many lives could be or could have been different. Unfortunately instead, many find themselves in countless unfortunate situations.
If you want to go off of feelings of the heart and allow yourself to move forward and fall in love with someone you KNOW you shouldn’t be with in the first place (for whatever reason), it’s something YOU DEFINITELY COULD HAVE HELPED IT, BUT CHOSE NOT TOO.
We ALWAYS have free will in the choices we make. We want to blame things on this and that, but the fact of the matter is it’s an excuse whether right or wrong to do what we want to do. If you meet someone and you find out there’s circumstances that shows it’s something you shouldn’t move forward with, yet you still move forward with the relationship. It was/is a choice that you freely made. Anytime you get to choose; then you have the opportunity to move backwards or forwards. Problem for most is they choose to move forward despite the many signs showing that they shouldn’t. Then they want to tell these two lies #1 You can’t help who you fall in love with (true if you’re NOT trying too) #2 I didn’t see the signs (you don’t see them because at the moment you didn’t want to). Lies, lies, lies!
Before you get involved with someone because you’re feeling all cozy inside you need to forget about those feelings and look at the entire picture. I guarantee if more people would do this they would avoid a lot of heartaches. The sad part about it is that no matter what, people will still allow their hearts and loins to lead them in bad places. Don’t let that be you and if it happen to be you please stop it. You deserve better for yourself. Take time and look at things deeper than what’s on the surface, because there is where the real true lies. When you make decisions to be with someone solely due to those emotions you’re feeling you’re likely to miss the many signs pointing out the truth. Looking deeper will ALWAYS save you a lot of grief.
Blessing to you, you, and you!