There are people who are in relationships they don’t necessarily want to be in. However, because they don’t try to work on their problems they remain in unhappy places. One thing that gets to me is when a person is clearly unhappy, but he or she make 100 excuses for why they remain where they are.
A lot of people feel they’ve invested too much time to move on; despite of how miserable they are. They feel they must ride it out until the end. I believe wholeheartedly many people are together but they weren’t put together by God. They’re together of their own doings and God had nothing to do with it. I further believe that when relationships are put together by God people won’t struggle so much in them. I’m not saying people won’t have some issues, they will, but when they’re constantly struggling and doing so for years and years, something is wrong! The problem with many relationships is they start off wrong, yet people try to make them work. Occasional they do but most times they don’t. The relationships are in constant chaos.
There are many people who can’t work things out at home, because they’re not trying. They’ve gotten too complacent. They aren’t necessarily content with the way things are but they’ve settled without trying to make things better. People get used to old ways without ever trying to change them; not realizing how much further apart it makes them. He’s stuck on how he feels and what he wants and she’s doing the same without trying to come together. They live under the same roof, but a million miles apart. This isn’t a marriage.
If you’re in a relationship and there’s absolutely no intimacy something is wrong. If you’re in a relationship and your mate don’t know how to talk to you without being brutally rude, something is wrong. If you’re in a relationship and it’s completely sexless yet there’s no health issues contributing to it, something is wrong. If you’re in a relationship yet you don’t know how to effectively communicate, something is wrong. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not on the same accord, something is wrong. If you’re in a relationship and you sleep apart, because you don’t want to be in the same bed, something is wrong. If you’re in a relationship and there’s mental, verbal, physical, or emotional abuse going on, something is wrong. There are MANY forms of abuse outside of physical, but many people tend to overlook that fact.
I could go on with many other examples, but you all know your situations. Many women although unhappy they stay out of a false sense of security. Their men provide a roof over their heads and does little things for them here and there. Although unfulfilled it’s enough to suffice these women. These women suffer silently because they’re not receiving what they need as women. They have no intimacy, they’re mates aren’t in love with them, and some don’t love them period. These women are afraid to be alone, they’re afraid to have to start over, and most importantly they’re afraid of losing the security of having a roof over there heads, food, clothing, etc.
Men stay and provide these types of security yet they’re just a miserable inside. Many stay for the exact same reasons as the women. They feel they’ve been there too long and have invested too much to leave. They don’t want to be alone and certainly don’t want to start over. Despite how unhappy both are no one is trying to fix anything. They simply settle with the way it is. This is nonsense!
I pray every single relationship peace, love, and happiness. The truth is, everyone together isn’t meant to be together and wasn’t put together by God. However, if people are going to stay together then they should at least try to make their situations better. No one has to live in misery. It’s all a personal choice. A husband and wife should love one another and be in love; point blank! If they’re not; there’s a problem. A big problem that needs to be fixed!
Instead of people looking to the streets for what they don’t have at home, they must learn to fix what’s at home, especially if they’re going to remain. Instead of turning to other things (drugs, alcohol, etc), lean how to come together and talk out your problems. Be honest with one another in order to get to the core of what’s really going on. I’m not saying people should separate or divorce, but what I am saying is if you’re going to stay together you can’t fix your relationships if you don’t try. You can’t fix them by getting involved with other women or men. You can’t fix them by turning to other people or things to give you what you’re lacking at home.