INFLICTING THE SAME PAIN YOU ONCE ENDURED. Does it seem logical or rational to do this? I don’t think so! I know some of you may not like what I’ve written, but people need to know and understand the truth. One problem with many individuals is they don’t like hearing or reading the truth and this is why many don’t take the initiative to change. They continue to hide behind the truth until the truth reveals itself.
I know firsthand how people who’ve gone through horrific ordeals oftentimes use their experiences as a crutch and excuse to do the exact same things they endured to someone else. Why would this type of person think it’s okay to inflict the same pains they’ve experienced on someone else when they know how they felt when they went through it? It’s a selfish thing to do.
Most people struggles with what happened to them. During experiences involving sexual abuse; many people feel guilt, shame, embarrassment, confusion, etc. They end up feeling confused about their own sexualities. They are straddled the fence concerning their sexual preferences and identities, and because of it they feel guilty. They are confused about the feelings they experienced while going through their ordeals (especially when it felt good, although they thought it was wrong). Many are too young at the time to know how to deal with it (the feelings of it being right or wrong). It has lead many to choose the same sex partner in life (I’ve had many people tell me this). The worst part of it all is many who were sexually abused have gone on to abuse others. I think it’s for several reasons and the main one is they never really dealt with what they experienced (a lot of people hid it for years and some are still hiding it). They never addressed the thoughts and feelings they had and because of it they have a lot of things held inside. They try to hide behind the truth by holding it in, but the truth comes out in one’s actions even if words aren’t spoken. Oftentimes it when they have inflicted the same type of pain onto someone else. This is further tragedy.
Again, I believe when children experience this form of abuse at an early age and never receive help coping; many of them go on to inflict the same pains on their children or the children of others. They become angry adults, withdrawn, depressed, etc. etc. Many try to hide it, but it’s very difficult to do so and ultimately it shows in their actions.
The most important time between parents and their children are the weeks and months after birth and their toddler years. Little children soak up all they experience (good or bad). It’s important for children to receive the necessary nurturing and bonding they need to develop properly. When they don’t receive this it affects them. Parents teach their children important lessons as they grow. Unfortunately sometimes they aren’t good ones. Many children see and experience things no child ever should. They turn into the many adults who are our friends, family, and neighbors; who are having a hard time coping in life, because of issues of their pasts.
I could go on and on listing many different topics. The moral of it all is that people choose the decisions they make no matter what experiences they’ve dealt with in life. We all have a story or stories we could tell. It doesn’t matter how horrific, it is up to each person as to how they will allow their experiences to affect them.
I’m not trying to say that every person who went through sexual trauma or any other bad situations as a child won’t be able to cope, because that wouldn’t be true. However, there are many individuals who can’t. It has greatly affected their lives and it shows in the decisions they make. I pray that people get help with their issues and that they take into account how their experiences affected them and STOP inflicting the same things they went through onto others.