IN A RELATIONSHIP YET YOU’RE NOT COMMITTED

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This seems to be the way of the world today. There are many people in what’s supposed to be committed relationships, yet they display no signs of  commitment. Many of these people are in marriages.

I may not know your personal stories, but I know enough about  relationships to be able to address what I’m writing. People are getting into and staying in relationships for all of the wrong reasons. Where is the love? Love is the foundation whereas communication is the key. One can’t effectively coexist without the other.

This is why many marriages and relationships leading into marriage are falling by the wayside. People don’t know how to effectively and properly build relationships. I’ve written about this in earlier posts. As recent as this week I spoke to someone who is divorcing. She told me she thought she could change her husband of 4 years. She told me looking back she saw signs of it being bad, but she loved him and had hopes he would change. Guess what? He didn’t and four years later he still wasn’t committed to his wife or the relationship.

You can’t change a person who isn’t ready to change. A person may change for a moment to either get you or to shut you up, but it WILL NOT last if it’s not the truth. They will always go back to the person they really are.

How you start a relationship oftentimes will be a part of if not the reason it ends. If you go into a relationship allowing yourself to be disrespected and mistreated, it’s EXACTLY how you will continue to be treated. You’ve set the standards for how you’re treated. When you’re so willing to take any and everything, because you can’t see past your emotions, any and everything is exactly the dish you’ll be served.

Some people will NEVER learn. Why go further into something when there are signs all over the place showing it’s not good for you? You can’t change a person no matter how much you love them, no matter how good you treat them, etc. etc. You can’t change them unless they’re ready and willing to change.

Many in marital relationships are merely sharing a domain and that’s it. Some of these people don’t even like one another, yet they remain together while one or both are in relationships with people outside of their marriages. A lot of times one really wants the relationship and is often heartbroken; while their significant other cares less and are out doing whatever they want. They didn’t care less in the beginning, but it was ignored. A zebra doesn’t change stripes, the signs are always there.

Too many people want it all. They get into relationships while having someone on the side. They claim unhappiness and everything else, yet many remain in their relationships, while getting involved and pulling someone else into their drama.

Grow up! Most are over grown (of age) but they conduct themselves as immature individuals who don’t have a clue as to what they really want. Before these types of people get into relationships they need to get themselves together. Whoever accept these individuals need to know they have issues with some forms of insecurities. You can’t blame the other person, you must take responsibility for the decisions you make. Stop allowing your emotions to set you up for a big fall. It’s not love that’s blind at all, it’s individuals who are blind by emotions (NOT love).

If you can’t commit then you should omit the thought of getting into a relationship until you know you are ready. It will save you and your significant other a lot of heartache and headache later down the road.

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WHERE WAS GOD

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We’ve heard this question asked many times. What gets me is the fact that many of the people asking the question NEVER acknowledged God before tragedy struck. However, He’s the one they want to blame when it strikes. Their question is always “where was God?” Is this a fair question coming from people who don’t acknowledge Him? Is it a fair question coming from those who supposedly do acknowledge Him?

He’s there during all of our good times as well as the bad. God is still God; the one who sits high and looks down low. It baffles me when I hear so many people ask this question or when I hear people say they lost their faith, etc. Truth of the matter is you can’t lose something you never had. As people our faith can be tried, but if a person let go of their faith, it was never solid in the first place.

The ONLY trouble free people lie in the cemetery. They are no longer alive and apart of this world. For the rest of us, as long as we breathe we are sure to go in and out of the valleys of life. It’s all a part of life. It doesn’t mean God isn’t there or that He doesn’t care, because He is and He does.

If you believe in the Bible, then you know what changed and why there is both good and evil in this world. If you don’t I challenge you to at least read about it; starting with the first Book (Genesis), which wasn’t applicable to only Adam and Eve at that time, but to all generations to come. Trials and tribulations involves people, their behaviors, and the different tragedies we will at some point experience due to other things. How you perceive and accept any situation determines how you will go through it. It doesn’t matter how horrible it is.

God is there with us through all of our trials, but I personally believe one problem is that many say they believe, but their actions say otherwise. Think about it; if everyone who claimed to believe and love the Lord, truly believed and loved Him, they would lives their lives completely different and this world would be a better place. Unfortunately that’s not the case and in the midst of that there are nonbelievers. Too many are either living on both sides of the fence or they don’t believe at all.

We don’t only face tragedies, trials, and tribulations because of other people, but also due to unfortunate events (floods, earthquakes, etc). There will always be tragedies that happen to us for as long as we shall live, but God remains with us. Things happen that can shatter our lives, but God remains with us. Satan and his angels has their hands in many things. Satan oftentimes make things look good and other times bad. His job is to lie, manipulate, deceive, kill, steal, and destroy. His purpose is to roam the earth, seeking whom he can devour. We all deal with it. That’s just the way it is. Where our faith lies, our relationship with God and His Son Jesus; is what keeps us strong and able to endure our  storms. When people don’t have this, they lack the understanding as to why we have to deal with misfortune.

A lot of people flock to the church on Sunday, but live like hypocrites the rest of the week. Sadly this includes church Leaders and so on down the chain. Many don’t live as new creatures because they aren’t new creatures. It shows in their daily walk. When the connection is nonexistent or false; there’s no real understanding.

God yet lives, He loves each of us, and He’s right there all of the time. The many things we go through; we don’t have to go through alone nor do we have to allow them to break us down. God wants us to believe, have faith, and cast our cares on Him. You can’t do that if you don’t believe and you can’t do it if your profession is a lie!

Our lives weren’t meant to be trouble free. It would be wonderful if it was, but it isn’t. Trials come to make us strong, but sadly many people allow their trials to break them down.

How we go through anything is a personal decision. What we believe is a personal choice and how we live our lives is a personal choice. I pray that you allow God to heal your pains and that you’re no longer bitter or angry at God for things that has happened or will happen. No matter how it looks, He’s still in control.  No matter where we go or what we do, the world is full of good and evil. We will face something! God is right there waiting for us to lean and depend on Him.

THE DARK UGLY TRUTH

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IT’S ABOUT THE TRUE YOU

If you don’t face it, you will continue to do what you’re doing. This post is for anyone out there doing something you THINK you’re getting away with. If you DON’T stop; your transgressions will come to the light.

I don’t know what you’re doing, but I know millions of you are doing things that are VERY wrong. You can move to a new state, city, or country. You can run, but you can’t EVER hide and your mess eventually catches up with you. You can hide from your neighbor but you CAN’T hide from God or from yourself. What’s done in the dark will surface to the light if you don’t stop doing it and sometimes even if you do.

People are so shocked and bewildered when they hear news of individuals doing things seemingly out of character. It’s out of character to you, because you couldn’t read between the lines, didn’t read between the lines, or you ignored what you saw. The truth is always shown to some degree at some point. They weren’t out of character; it’s who they really are and has always been. Only; now they’ve gotten caught. The signs don’t lie and for the millionth time; there are ALWAYS signs.

These individuals are ALWAYS embedded in low and high paying positions; from a gutter cleaner to the white house. They hold  many titles, some have many acronyms behind their names, filthy rich, dirt poor, in the spotlight every day or a celebrity of some sorts, liked by many, appear to have it all together, and a million other things. NONE of it changes the man you see in the mirror. You know who you are and what you are. Your secrets aren’t secrets to God. What you do behind closed doors and what you think is in secret; will be revealed if you don’t change your ways and sometimes they’re still revealed even if you do.

START working on being delivered from the things you’re doing. Things that YOU know are wrong. The ONLY way you can change is by first acknowledging that you NEED to change and facing the man in the mirror. You CANNOT do that by continuing to partake in your mess. You CANNOT do it by denying that you are who you are. No matter how you became what you are; it is what it is and in your heart of hearts YOU know what you do isn’t right. No matter what happened to mold and shape you, the decision to become you was yours to make. People must STOP making excuses for what they are doing and take ownership of the fact that it’s by FREE choice. You could have always made the choice to do differently. Problem is most don’t think they will ever be found out.

Think about how you’d feel if what you’re doing was done to those you love the most; by someone else. You may have gone through something traumatic, I am sorry for you, but that’s reason enough for you NOT to do what you’re doing. Face who you’ve become and deal with it appropriately. You can’t do it by hiding and conniving; thinking because you’re getting over you’re getting by. You’re not!

Many get into positions or situations so they can get in close proximity of people they want to manipulate and prey on. This can be in a physical way (sexually, etc), to steal from, or to do whatever they want to accomplish. When wrestling with personal demons stop setting yourself up for failure, by getting into these positions or situations in thinking no one will suspect you. Well, it’s true, no one may suspect you, but you will be found out sooner or later.

You know EXACTLY who you are. Today if you’re above the dirt and not beneath, this is a chance for you to change who you’ve become in order to be set free. No longer allow the things you’ve held in and hid for so long to keep you prisoner. You can be delivered on today.

I pray that if you don’t know God you get to know Him today, because He knows exactly what you’re doing, it’s NO secret to Him. It’s NO secret that you know what you’re doing is wrong, if you didn’t know it was wrong, you WOULDN’T BE TRYING TO HIDE IT. Right?????????????????????????????????????

The choice to change is yours to make. I pray you make the right one!

YOU MUST FORGIVE IN ORDER TO MOVE ON

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I wanted to write about this, because I had someone tell me last week that he felt he didn’t deserve to live, because of the things he’s done in his past. He was so sad about it.

He’s not alone. There are many broken people who are living and thinking this very way. There is nothing you can’t get past IF you choose to. People bring so much unnecessary pain to themselves. What you’ve done, you’ve done. It is OVER and you can’t redo it. Forgive yourselves and move on. Stop punishing yourselves for what’s done. It is behind you!

It’s always the memories of what a person has done that causes the residuals of what they’ve done to remain. You hold these things inside when there’s no benefit to do so. As you see; all it is doing is destroying you. Many have lost their faith due to the things they’ve done or have gone through.

When a person is so focused on the thoughts of what they’ve done or endured they lose the belief in the ability to change. Holding on to these things poisons the entire body (mentally, physically, and spiritually). People lose their will to move past it.

Do you not understand that this way of thinking is of your own doing? It is! No one is holding you to this way of thinking but you; the one who is going through it. You willfully engage in the thoughts triggering the memories. You willfully keep this way of thinking alive. You’ve become disengaged from reality, because you’re engulfed with those thoughts that you’ve allowed to control your life. You’ve done it for so long, it is what you now believe and because of it you’ve allowed yourself to be prisoner.

No one on earth has to live with this type of untruth; this type of turmoil. You MUST forgive those who’ve done you wrong and you MUST forgive yourself for all the things you’ve done to yourselves and to others. Today/right now is the time to let it all go. No matter what you’ve done or what you’ve gone through you can be free from the chains that you’ve allowed to bind you up for all of these years. Those chains are the thoughts that are still fresh in your mind. The thoughts that you won’t allow to fade. You keep feeding the memories and it’s why they continue to flourish.

Those thoughts do nothing but plant, cultivate, and grow those seeds of hurt. From those seeds grows many ugly things (all types of addictions, anger, hatred, suicide, homicide, thoughts of unworthiness, bitterness, and many other things). These things causes all of the feelings that comes along with those negative seeds, which leads to all of the negative behaviors.

Millions are walking around broken, because they can’t let go of  things that have them held in captivity (in their minds). They are completely broken. You DON’T have to live this way another day. Forgive, forgive, forgive and then let it go so you can move on. When negative thoughts come up; stand against them. Speak up, tell the thoughts to go away, because you’re aware of the trouble they’ve caused you for years and you won’t stand for it another day. Take charge and take control. The Bible says resist the devil and he will flee. It’s true!!! If you continue to entertain him; the longer he sticks around and the stronger he becomes. The stronger he becomes in your life the weaker you become. You no longer have the will to fight, you settle with the way things are when change is possible and right around the corner.

I know many of you will say it’s easier said than done. This may be true, however, the more you say it’s easier said than done, the harder it will be. It’s as easy OR as hard as you choose to make it. What I promise is the more you speak positive thoughts when the negative one comes; the negative ones will lessen. The way you get past it is by NOT entertaining those negative thoughts. You must release them and move on. Keep telling yourself it’s over, no matter what it is, it’s over. Then you will begin to believe it. Watch how things will change!!

It’s your decision. I pray you forgive and let it go so you can move on. Stop giving in to it and start fighting to get your life back!! No matter what, life is worth living and it’s worth living in peace!!

STILL IN YOUR MESS

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When a person isn’t ready to stop doing what they’re doing they simply will not. I know people sick with illnesses or going through all types of things, but they still refuse to change their ways. Sometimes things happen to us in order to get our attention, but unfortunately many don’t take heed. Some people do not want to give up their old ways and because of it many have died in their sins.

The ultimate decision is yours to make. What I want people to understand is that everyday you are blessed to see, it is a another chance to change your ways; get things right.

I’ve said many times; no one is perfect and we all fall short, but stop using it as an excuse to stay in your mess. One day you won’t get the opportunity to change. I pray that people do it while they have warm blood running through their veins. God doesn’t wish for any of us to perish, but the choice is ours.

There is so much going on in the world today. It’s full of millions of confused people. Everything wrong, people are accepting as right. Everything right is shunned and consider wrong. It is so sad to see how easily people conform to wrong in order to belong. It is sad how easily people are brainwashed, but this is what happens when you don’t know which side of the fence you’re on (who you serve, where your faith lies) and you don’t know who you really are. In these days and times we have to have a strong solid foundation or we will fall for any and everything. Everything looks and sounds good when it is NOT.

It’s not by chance and it certainly isn’t because we’re so good or deserving, but it’s because of grace, love, and mercy that we get many chances to get it right. However, one day it will be no more chances. I pray before this time you’ve made the decision to get your lives in order.

People are seeking love and belonging in many places that are absolutely positively wrong. What people are falling for is leading to self destruction and damnation. I didn’t make this up, it’s in the B-I-B-L-E. It’s NOT my words.

I will end here by praying that those who don’t know God and His Son Jesus in the pardoning of their sins that they make the decision to give up this ole world to gain eternal life by giving their lives to Jesus (Romans 10:9). God want us to come as we are (broken, confused, lost, hurt, angry, suicidal, depressed, addicted to all kinds of things, envy, jealous, and any other brokenness you may have.) No matter what it is, no matter what you’ve done, He is willing to accept you as you are.

As I always say; today, right now is ALL we have. Blessings to you!