IF THEY SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE, PLEASE, PLEASE BELIEVE IT

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Listen ladies. I don’t know how many times I have to talk about this, but whatever the case I will continue on until people get it. If you’re in a relationship and the other person show you signs of who they are, “please” believe it! It’s no fluke, accident, or any of that, it is what it is. It’s a sign of what’s to come. If you accept it the first time it’s will happen again.

Please stop getting deeper into these unhealthy relationships. All you’re doing is putting yourselves in jeopardy and perhaps those around you in jeopardy as well. Haven’t you all seen the countless amounts of stories where significant others (ex, current, etc) have harmed or killed the individuals they were with and those who were around the person they killed? Wake up! Please stop getting in and/or staying in unhealthy relationships. It’s not good for you. It drains you and will break you down if you stay attached to this unhealthy lifestyle.

What’s really even more disturbing is that you’re bringing these men around your children. You’re showing your sons and daughters how to treat people and how to allow others to treat them. You’re teaching them this unhealthy lifestyle is acceptable when it’s NOT! Children do NOT ask to be born. They shouldn’t be subjected to such chaos. Your children should be priority NOT the man you’re with. Get your heads out of the dirt. Stop making excuses and stop accepting excuses.

It’s so sad to see young women who think they’re in love only to find themselves in bad situations that many have a hard time leaving and some who never leave because they are murdered by the ones who were suppose to love and cherish them. The big problem here most times the love is one way, but because people get quickly caught up in their feelings they fail to take notice of how they’re being treated. They are too worried about what they’re feeling, showing, and doing for the one they think they love. When you’re with someone you can’t see the truth if you’re being led by your emotions. If you’re blind by emotions you will end up in a lion’s den. Trust me! I’ve seen it and heard it over and over.

I don’t care how cute he is or what he has, it matters none at all. How he treats you is what matters. If he is up in your face crying and saying he can’t live without you or that he loves you to death. You need to move away from that relationship. You need to move on before it gets to that point. If he’s clingy and wants to always be with you or monitors your coming and going; something is wrong with this picture. If he controls what you’re doing; you’ve let it get too far. Listen, it’s NOT cute, it’s not him showing affection. It is clear signs that there could be potential danger to come.

Ladies, you must open up your eyes and stop being led totally by your hearts alone. You MUST see the truth and you must use your brains. Stop being foolish! A man who is mature and loves his significant other will treat her with respect and love. He isn’t  controlling, demanding, disrespectful, overbearing, or abusive.

Good looks are great, but they will not keep a relationship together. Sex is just sex and flesh taking control when it’s done outside of a marriage. Stop allowing your flesh to guide you into things you later regret. Many of you foolishly get pregnant in thinking he will change, but he won’t! If he’s a lazy bum when you met him it is not likely to change. Only difference is later on you will get tired of it and finally see the light, but by then it will be hard to get rid of him, because he will have gotten used to you taking care of him. If he’s abusive in any way at all whether physical, emotional, or verbally the time to leave is with the first episode. Stop giving first, second, third, etc chances when he doesn’t deserve the first one you gave him. He will continue to be abusive, he will more than likely not change, don’t risk it.

A man will do what you allow him to do. If you accept him any kind of way, any kind of way is what he will be and any kind of junk is what he will give you. It is no one’s fault but yours. These are avoidable situations, but women continue to get into these unhealthy relationships.

Work on you, because there’s obviously something wrong with any woman who feel she doesn’t deserve better. There’s something wrong with any woman who thinks she needs a baby with every man she gets with. Something is wrong any woman who allows a man to treat her any way he pleases. Something is wrong when any woman accepts any and everything from her man. Something is wrong when he’s rolling in your car and you’re stuck someone and can’t get home. Something is wrong when she’s getting out of bed for work while he’s sleeping in, because he doesn’t have a job. I can go on and on.

Ladies if he doesn’t have a job and isn’t trying to get one, RUN! You can’t survive on his looks unless he’s a working model. Otherwise looks doesn’t amount up to a hill of beans. Sex gets old and when you’re sick of it, then you get sick of him and by that time he’s gotten use to you taking care of him and will have a problem leaving. Stop raising these grown men!!

Stop getting into these unhealthy relationships. You’re your own problem and before you try to get into any relationship you need to work on you. If you work on you and figure out who you are, you will never allow just ANY old man in your life simply to say you have a man. Learn what’s important and what’s not important in a relationship. Stop being led by the emotions of your heart.

I want men to know that although I wrote this to the women, some of you fall into the same situations. Some of you are treated exactly like some of the women I’ve written about. A good man deserves nothing less than a good woman and vice versa; bottom line!!!

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HOW YOU’RE TREATED SAYS A LOT, BUT YOU’RE TOO WORRIED ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL TO NOTICE

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Let me first say; whether you accept it for what it is or not, how a person feels about you will ALWAYS show in his or her actions towards you. Please make NO mistake about it and please stop accepting it! Stop going solely off of how you feel about someone; you must realize, accept and understand how the other person feels about you! No matter how you feel it won’t change how THEY feel. How they REALLY feel will always show in their actions towards you.

Too many people continue to get into and stay in BAD, UNHEALTHY relationships based on their own personal feelings. Too caught up in their own emotions to see the truth for what it is. This way of thinking will until the end of time lead people into making bad decisions. People must gain control over their emotions, which is what their being lead by. People get too overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings, and then they can’t see past it all to the truth.

If a person would take a moment and reflect; moments to examine their relationship or what they call a relationship they could see the truth. To examine the relationship you’re in you MUST get your emotions in check. I keep hampering on emotions and feelings, because they are what leads millions into very dangerous waters. However, if you step out of your own way, you will be able to see the real deal.

I don’t care how much you THINK you love someone if they don’t love you back, you need to wake up. If they talk to you any kind of way that is abuse and disrespect. If they abuse you in any way; one way is no greater or less than the other. Abuse is abuse; period! Stop trying to sugarcoat it and/or cover it up. Doing that NEVER fixes the situation. It only keeps you in that bad situation.

A real man or woman will NOT mistreat, disrespect, abuse, cheat on, hurt, harm, etc. etc.; the one they truly love. One who has the mind of an immature version will. I get sick, sick, sick of hearing “a man will be a man.” That’s ridiculous. What is even more ridiculous is many men and women believe what society says about men. Immature men want sex just like immature women, because it’s what they’re into. Both are also very focused on how someone looks, so they are fixated on the physical part of a person (booty, chest, boobs, eyes, hair, legs, etc. Grown and mature men and women understands this isn’t  the main focus of a healthy relationship.

Do you know when you’re in a relationship; it’s important to have your emotions in check, because you MUST be able to really understand how you’re treated? If you’re all caught up in your feelings, you’re going to be messed up and I guarantee you that more than likely you’ll end up hurt. I challenge any person on the face of the earth, to step back and think about their current relationship or any previous one. Think about how you’re treated or was treated. Focus on what you’re getting from the relationship, focus on the communication between the two of you, focus on their  interaction with you. If you accept it for what it is there you will find the truth!! You can deny it all day, but the truth will stare you in the face!

I am very sure of what I’ve written to be true. I’ve seen it over and over again. It’s always the same situations, but different people. I’ve been many places overseas and in country and I’m telling you, I’ve seen it over and over again.

People must wake up! Take responsibility of your own lives and STOP putting it in the hands of others who can’t figure their own lives out. If a person doesn’t know what they want for his or herself, you think they will be able to give you what you need? NO! They can manipulate you into believing that they can, but they can’t and it will eventually show. Sad part is they know you better than you know yourself, because they have figured out your weakness and insecurities and will play you to get what they want. Many people get bamboozled because they’re going solely off of what they’re feeling and completely ignoring how they’re being treated. It’s foolish and it’s time to wake up!!!

Stop blaming him or her; they’re doing what they do. It is YOU who need to work on you. You have to deal with why you are allowing yourself to get deeper into an unhealthy relationship or to remain in a relationship where you’re not receiving what you really need. A person can say they love you all day long, but the truth always shows in how they treat you. People can only pretend for so long before the truth is revealed. Please stop ignoring this truth and please stop allowing your emotions to keep you tied to someone who isn’t tied to you.

THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN DON’T BE LEAD BY YOUR EMOTIONS

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Yes, I’m at it again. I pray that people get it. If you read my posts and you know someone who can benefit from them, please tell someone about them. I am addressing several situations, because we hear about them so much, but what I am going into detail about can be applied in any situation.

Too many people are getting into serious trouble because they are allowing what they’re thinking and feeling to lead them into bad situations. I promise you if you take the time to think about situations you’re involved in with CLARITY you will STOP making bad decisions.

Many across the world are finding themselves in bad situations due to those bad decisions. Emotions are powerful. They come from our thoughts and they can cause debilitation if we allow. If you ponder and ponder over something, you will keep whatever the thought is; fresh in your mind. You will get anxiety and other issues because of your negative ways of thinking. When thoughts are negative or plain WRONG this is when you should resist those thoughts. Don’t allow the feeling you’re experiencing to lead you in the wrong direction. You resist them by being responsible, honest, and straightforward with yourself. If it’s wrong, you must accept that it is wrong and you must think of the consequences from those negative ways of thinking and feeling. If you keep thinking on whatever it is, you will probably eventually act upon those thoughts and feelings.

People need to get a tight grip on reality and stop making senseless decisions based on their emotions. Stop getting into unhealthy and dead end relationships when the truth is right in your face. Too many people get into abusive (all forms) relationships and then wonder how they got there. You got there by ignoring the signs that presented before you. You were filled with emotions about the person and because of it you ignored the truth. People believe because of what THEY feel for the other person the person will feel the same about them and change. This is NOT the truth! Face reality and deal with it, make decisions that are good for you. Know your value and self worth, if you don’t you will forever make bad decisions.

The same goes for people who get caught up in sexual relationships with underage individuals or child porn. They have allowed their thoughts and feelings to cause them to act on things they KNOW are wrong. Although wrong, they keep allowing their twisted distorted ways of thinking to get them into deep trouble. People get into this warped sense of thinking, because a lot of times they were sexually abused. Regardless no one should EVER do to another person what was done to them. Learn positive ways to deal with those thoughts and feelings. You can’t do this by trying to hide them. You can pretend and try to hide those thoughts and emotions from other people, but you can’t pretend or hide them from yourself. If you have these ways of thinking and feeling, and you haven’t properly dealt with those issues you will eventually act on what you’re thinking and feeling.

The same goes for people who are contemplating hurting themselves, other people, or perhaps both. These people didn’t think about it one time, they have been pondering over those thoughts and they have been feeling some kind of way about it for a long time UNTIL they were consumed and overtaken by those negative thoughts and feeling. They end up doing the unthinkable. Again, this is what happens when people allow those negative thoughts to run free in their minds. They develop all of the emotions from that negative way of thinking.

Anyone and everyone who has the mental ability to understand or comprehend can change their ways of thinking about any situation by removing their self from it mentally. What do I mean? It’s not really anything hard to do, but people make it hard, because they don’t want to give up their old ways. The only way to grow is by applying it to your life so that change can occur. To remove yourself mentally is to take notice and ownership of those negative thoughts. You can’t deal with ANYTHING by pretending NOTHING is wrong. You must take ownership and responsibility of your negative thoughts. I don’t care what happened to you or who did it to you. You MUST take responsibility and ownership of your own life and the negativity you’ve come to embrace.

Once you take true ownership, you can then begin to think with a conscious determination. What I mean by that is; you must become fully aware of what you’re thinking. You must realize in order to foster change that you have to accept the fact that the thoughts are negative. For the purposes of this post, I’m talking strictly about how you feel about someone or something. Example; If you’re feeling all jolly about a man or woman who’s physically abusing you or mistreating you in ANY way, this is a negative way of thinking. You must accept it as such and not be lead by your emotions. If you do you’ll see clearer and have the sense, strength, and ability to move away from people and things that aren’t good for you.

The more you are aware the more you will alter your way of thinking by replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones and ultimately doing the right things. Don’t fool yourself in thinking because YOU feel good about something that it’s right. This is a distorted way of thinking, ESPECIALLY when what you’re thinking is wrong. This happens when people are going off of their emotions. Accept the truth, take ownership and responsibility that your thoughts and feeling have blocked your ability to think rationally. By doing this you’ll become conscious of those thoughts so you can bring about change.

I guarantee anyone; the more you are aware of your negative thoughts and begin to implement positive self-development the negativity will change into positivity. The only way you can do this is by saying no to yourself and embracing the positive thoughts (every time). You MUST be determined, dedicated, and most importantly CONSISTENT. The more you do this, the stronger you will become and you will begin to see a change in the way you’ve been thinking and allowing your emotions to control you.

I won’t lie and say that you won’t become frustrated, but know that anytime you’re trying to change something this will happen, because you’re implementing something new into your life. This form of self-development and growth will change you into a better, stronger person. It’s like anything else you want to learn, the more you practice this; the stronger you will become.

It doesn’t matter what happened, when it happened, who was involved in shaping and forming your negative ways of thinking, etc. Change ONLY starts with you! If you want to do it you can and you will. If not, you will still live in a world of lies and deceit. You will continue to lie, hide, pretend, etc until you’re caught in the act and the world has found you out or until you’re in a bad situation, and/or until you’re dead (mentally, spiritually, and oftentimes physically). Those are the outcomes of acting on negative thoughts and feelings. They make you feel good when they are not good. No one can be truly positive by living such a negative life.

My prayer is that you choose to change!!!

EYES WIDE OPEN BUT YOU CAN’T SEE A THING

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When will some people learn? My goodness, how many bad situations and bad relationships do a person have to go through before they wake up? It’s so sad to see people who continuously go through the same things over and over and not realize they’re the common denominator. You wonder why you continue to go through similar things. It’s because you’re getting into similar situations with although different people; they have similar characteristics. This isn’t because of who they are, it’s because of who you are.

People think because a person has a well known status or in a certain position they’re above making bad relationship decisions. It NOT true. Who you are and what you have has NOTHING to do with it. A person can fake it all day long because of their status, but the truth of who you really are will ALWAYS show in the decisions you make.

Please STOP rushing into relationships! If you don’t stop what you’re doing the way you’re doing it, you will continue to be sad, miserable, and unhappy. You may pretend not to be, but inside you are and you feel it when you’re alone. When you’re alone you have time to reflect on who you really are. Some of you don’t allow yourselves time to be alone, because of the insecurities you have.

This happens with well known people just as it does with anyone else. It’s because of who people are inside. Too many of you are too busy focusing on trying to find someone to be with but you have no clue at all what it takes to build a healthy relationship. Therefore your relationships are unhealthy, unhappy, and fail.

Stop meeting people and getting with them, because of their looks. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone who is nice looking, but IF that is your main focus, it shows how shallow and immature you are.  A relationship like this holds no substance and oftentimes what you see isn’t what you get. I’m sure many of you have experienced this reality. Wake up!

This goes for people who get with someone because of what the individual has or what they do (position, status, etc). This too is a shallow way of thinking and it’s immature. Build your own therefore you won’t have to go out preying on people to get something you’re not trying to get on your own. Some of you don’t want to make your own way, all you want to do is take from whoever will give you something. This keeps you in a debilitated state of mind.

Start looking at the signs that are before you and stop being lead by your emotions. You can’t get into a relationship with your eyes wide shut. Meaning, they’re open but you miss all of the signs. The reason people miss the signs is they’re not looking for them even though they are right there. They allow their emotions to block their view. STOP it!

I’ve often talked about this. People must use their brains in all equations pertaining to love and relationships. If you don’t you will make bad decisions based on your emotions. When you’re feeling someone but because of your emotions you don’t think about the circumstances of your situation; you will most often choose wrong (make bad decisions).

People must learn about one another and this doesn’t mean by  sexing. Get to know one another (the likes, dislikes, the good, and the bad). Learn how NOT to allow your emotions to lead you around by your nose. This is done by focusing, NEVER lose focus, see the truth for what it is. No matter how good he or she makes you feel, how good they look, who they are, what they have, etc. etc. If they’re NOT good for you, that’s it, nothing else need to be said or done, MOVE on! Stop forcing yourselves into relationships you were NEVER meant to be in. This is why so many marriages and other relationships are failing. People are getting into them the wrong way and for the wrong reasons.