You Think If You Change They Will Love You

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Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! People must stop giving all of their power and responsibility for their lives to the ones they love. Why? First of all; some significant others are people who sometimes don’t want to be with who they are with. Second, the person you’re with isn’t necessarily the one meant for you. Third, it’s your life and you have the control to decide who you allow in and out of it. Fourth, everything you want isn’t always good for you; people need to stop trying to hold on to people who don’t want to be held on to. If you give up your power, it’s a bad decision you’ve made and sooner or later you will realize it.

Too many people put the blame on themselves when it’s the other person. Grant it, you do have some fault in it as well, because you’ve freely given your power to someone to determine the outcome of your life. You basically let them decide whether you’re happy or not.

Many people in this world fall in love or in what they assume is love and in doing so want desperately for the other person to love them back and will do anything to receive this love. People who do this are those dealing with insecurities from past pains. These people blame themselves for why their significant others act the way they act. They feel if they can only change this or that about themselves their relationships would be better. It’s not the truth!

If a person doesn’t love you it’s because of a few reasons. They  simply aren’t as into you as you are into them. They still want to sow their “wild oats.” They’re not finished doing what they want to do; they aren’t ready to grow up into mature adults, and commitment is the last thing they want. These types of people  will always shift the blame on you to make you feel guilty. Stop allowing a person to make you feel you’re the problem.

People shouldn’t love who they’re with more than they love his or herself. When people who aren’t truly ready to be in relationships know this they oftentimes take advantage of the ones they supposedly love. They manipulate, take advantage of, and take for granted the ones they supposedly love.

I keep telling people that a person shows you what you mean to them in how they treat you. Someone told me this wasn’t true, because the person they were with provided well for them and was always home. However, after really talking with this individual she told me how they were always in total separate parts of the house, they didn’t communicate, and barely had intimacy between the two of them. To me, that’s NOT a healthy relationship. The blame falls on both individuals, because at the end of the day each is accountable for their own individual lives. Millions stay together for the same reasons they got together; (all of the wrong reasons).

What I am trying to make people understand through this post is stop foolishly thinking that if you change; your significant others will want to be with you or that they will love you the way you love them. It doesn’t work! If a person doesn’t love you or doesn’t truly want to be with you, there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. You will do nothing but cause yourself pain by blaming yourself or doing things to try and make them love you. If you accept any type of treatment in the name of love, any type of treatment is exactly what you will receive.

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4 thoughts on “You Think If You Change They Will Love You

      • Trust me, I get you. We’ve all gone through something, but what I really believe is we shouldn’t put our happiness in the hand of another. We have to learn how to love ourselves as individuals, when we do it will alleviate a lot of unnecessary grief from our lives. If a person doesn’t know how to love his or herself, they’ll fall for anything when it comes to what they think love is.

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