Do You Even Know What You Need

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Something I think is so ridiculous is statuses I see on social media of “it’s complicated” when people are referring to their relationships. This is where people should get the “big picture” but unfortunately many don’t, many haven’t, and many won’t. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not married, but you’re having all sorts of problems; before you jump off into the deep end IF “it’s complicated” you should re-think what you’re involved in.

Far too many people get deeper involved in relationships that are already complicated. People; if it’s complicated at the beginning it’s bound to be complicated throughout. One of the biggest problems in relationships is the fact individuals think they can change who they are with. You can’t! I don’t care how much you love them, you can’t change them. People sacrifice so much in hopes of the ones they’re with will change. Stop believing you have it locked down so tight with the person you’re with that he or she will change for you. How you accepted them is how they will be unless they choose to change.

When individuals get into relationships and put all they can into loving the person they’re with and trying to get them to love them back this is a problem from the start. Why? It’s a problem, because if you have to drain yourself in order to show someone you love them and bend over backwards trying to make them love you, this isn’t love at all. You’re an individual who clearly have issues. Stop trying to force yourself into the lives of other people. If a person loves you then they will show it naturally without you having to do things you wouldn’t normally do to receive their love.

Sometimes people sell their souls trying to make someone love them. They try buying the person’s love, some go as far as trying to cast spells etc,  some perform sexual acts they normally wouldn’t partake in,  they agree to do things they don’t feel comfortable with, and some do other ridiculous things they wouldn’t normally do trying to impress and please the person they want to be with. This isn’t love, but it sure is a complicated mess!

People get into relationships knowing it’s a bunch of mess and drama, but they try their best to make it work. If you have to work at it in this way, then maybe it’s not for you. Everything that feels good and looks good sure isn’t good for you.

Other than God and His Son Jesus (I will always say that, because that’s where my faith lies, I’m not trying to push it on you, but I’m telling you where I stand); you should love you before any other human. As humans most are so eager for love until they lose focus of what they need. They’re too caught up in want they want. This is why so many relationships aren’t healthy ones. Once people learn it’s better to have what you need rather than to have what you want when it comes to relationships; their lives will be better. You can build strong foundations and healthy relationships by having what you need. Building a relationship on what you want only leads to things being complicated and therefore unhealthy relationships. In those types of relationships people are left hurt, lost, confused, regretful, sad, lonely, and brokenhearted all because they went after and got just what they thought they wanted.

After going through unnecessary struggles and dramas some people finally figure out what they wanted wasn’t good for them. Unfortunately many others never got to get to this point because they lost their lives in the midst of their complicated relationships Why? It’s because people miss the truth, because they’re blind by their feelings and emotions. They go goo goo over things they want; which are those things that aren’t what they need to build good strong healthy relationships. The material things a person has to offer, their looks, sex, their status, etc. etc will never be what it takes to build a healthy and strong relationship. A solid relationship takes the ability to communicate effectively (to figure out if you’re evenly yoked), knowing who you are with (their likes, dislikes, etc), and real love to keep it together. If you have to force it, stress, fight, etc, it’s not love; you’re going off of what you want and certainly not what you need.

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