Love and Abuse Don’t Go Together

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I felt a great need to write about this subject once again. In the past few days women have been killed by the men who supposedly love them. Today it happened about 15 minutes away from the city I live in; both were only twenty years old, she died and he tried to kill himself. This post is for both men and women. Although we don’t hear about it as much, men get abused as well.

If you accept anyone in your life who is abusive SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU! I’m not here to condemn or judge, I’m here to help someone. If you allow any type of abuse SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU! Please seek help! Too many people are dying at the hands of those who supposedly love them. This isn’t love!!!! Harming or killing you is the last thing someone who truly loves you would imagine or even attempt doing.

People who show love by controlling you in any way has an issue and those who allow these types of people in their lives has issues as well. Love isn’t controlling, demanding, or abusive in any shape, form, or fashion.

If you get with someone and they are abusive, you need to exit the relationship from the start. Do not go any further. Don’t play with fire, because not only can you get burned(metaphorically speaking), you can end up dead!!!

Stop allowing abusive men and women into your lives. You think it’s special that they’re bad boys or bad girls, etc until they turn that same energy on you. Look at your situations and the people you’re involved with; and truly examine yourselves. If you’re being abused in any form you need to get out. It’s not love, it’s not funny, and is sure isn’t cute. You need to get out!!

It’s not love when you’re controlled or when you’re afraid of who you’re with. If that’s you, you’re in a bad situation and you’ve been there too long. Never give anyone the opportunity to think abusing you is okay; it’s not!

Abuse isn’t just physical, it comes in many forms such as mental, emotional, verbal, sexual, controlling, isolation from others, overbearing (they appear to be protecting, but they’re actually controlling and dominating you).

When a person gets involved with an abusive individual not only do they put themselves in harms way, they put those around them in harms way. A person can only fool you for so long. An abusive person will ALWAYS show who they really are, people miss it because they feel too much with their hearts until they dismiss signs of a potential problem. The signs are ALWAYS there! People have the tendency to see it when they’ve gotten in too deep and by then for many it’s too late. Your lives are precious and you only get one. No one has the right to abuse you, but too many of you give abusers the green light to do so.

The first mistake people make is going forth in relationships with those who have abusive tendencies. The second mistake people make is not walking away at the very first sign of abuse. The third mistake people make is accepting “I’m sorry” after the first incident. Stop giving another opportunity for something else to occur; when you do this you have given up your power and the abuser knows it. They know EXACTLY how to treat you, because you taught them how to treat you!

If you’re the type of person who is eager to love and have the willingness to take anything in the name of what you think is love; then anything is what you will get and at any time. The person you’re with will treat you exactly how they want too, because they know you will take it. They will manipulate you, because they know what it takes to keep you where you are.

It’s sad seeing women with their faces slashed, bodies burned, because they got gasoline threw on them, beat up publically; it’s all so very sad! It never ever should get to this point. Don’t allow your wrong way of thinking and loving put you in this situation.

Stop making excuses for staying, NONE of the excuses are worth it. People make excuses to stay, because they’ve lost control and power of their own lives. Why? It’s because they freely gave it from the start. People seek love in all of the wrong places and in all of the wrong ways. Why do you think this is so? I believe it’s because people are tainted from their pasts. Many seek love because they never received it as a child, etc. There are a million reasons fueling these types of behaviors (for both the abuser and the abused). The bottom line is people have to take responsibility for their lives regardless of what they’ve gone through. Stop blaming the way you are on other people or other things, because you have a choice to be exactly how you are. We all have the power to change if we choose too!!!

Not all people lose their physical lives, but many lose themselves to anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, low esteem, etc. etc. They lose themselves because they gave all they had to loving someone who wasn’t deserving (in the name of love). They gave their power to someone who took it.

Abusers comes in all shape, sizes, and colors. Regardless of who they are or what they do; abuse is abuse and abusers always show who they are in some way or another. Those who are are caught up in what they think is love will be led by their hearts into bad, unsafe, unhealthy, and draining relationships.

Learn how to build self esteem and confidence in yourselves, this way you won’t seek false love and security in someone else. If you don’t know where to begin there are many resources for help online, professional counseling, local social work services and community activities. Seek help!!! Learn to love you!!! If you do this you won’t EVER allow ANYONE to come along and mistreat you in any way. People treat you EXACTLY how you allow.

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