Selfish or Selfless

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How can you build a strong foundation if you don’t know what a strong foundation means, looks like, or what it takes to build one? I believe this is one of the biggest problems when it comes to relationships. People are eager to get into one, but have no clue what a healthy relationship involves.

In my opinion most relationships are disconnected from the start which makes it ALMOST impossible to build a strong relationship. As I’ve said many times before; people are getting into relationships for the wrong reasons and in all of the wrong ways.

People have to learn to see what they’re getting into, before they actually call it a relationship. You can’t do this if you don’t know or understand what is good for you. This means you must first know yourself. This world is full of people who are getting into relationships and trying to figure out others when they don’t even know who they are as individuals.

You can’t truly connect with someone else when you have no real connection with who you are as an individual. There are endless amounts of relationships built on the I factor. It’s all about one individual’s wants and desires. These individuals are either the one’s who are selfish or selfless. Selfish individuals seek self gratification at all cost. Although they’re in relationships it’s still about them (what I want, what I desire). They are in relationships but in their minds they’re still single and they act like single people. They are totally disconnected when it comes to their significant others. They feel they should be able to do what they want whenever they want. They don’t think of the consequences of their actions until it’s too late. At some point in these individual’s lives they learned to be this way.

In relationships selfless people care more about the other person’s well being than their own. These types of individuals have the obvious in their faces yet they are so blind by their emotions they only see what they want. Oftentimes their significant others may treat them badly, yet they only see what they want to see. They cater to the one’s they’re with and most times get nothing in return. These are the people who give and give trying to please the one they’re with. These people do and take things to please the one they’re with. It’s sad! These individuals have gone through things in their lives to cause them to be this way. There is always a disconnect in their relationships.

Until people learn who they are as individuals, in their relationships they will always be  either selfish or selfless. To know yourself is to first love and accept yourself. You must get to a point in life where you will not give people your power or base your happiness on them. It’s no surprise; people treat you exactly how you’ve taught them to treat you. They give you what you accept and allow. When a person loves his or herself they will never base their happiness, joy, or peace on another individual. They will know love is much more deeper than looks, sex, and status.

Millions of couples are very disconnected. Although they’re considered as couples reality is they couldn’t be farther apart. They don’t even know why they remain together. They are together but separated, each doing their own things. Married couples are together, but living separate in their homes. They don’t communicate in no sense of the word. They are unhappy, miserable, and lonely. This is a very sad reality for many. I don’t believe people grow apart. I believe they were NEVER connected and on one accord when it comes to love and a solid foundation. They started out wrong and never got on the path of one accord, instead they grew further and further apart (disconnected).

To build healthy relationships you must be in tune with you. If you’re not it means everywhere you go and everything you do your baggage will spill. It will corrupt all aspects of your life and ultimately the relationships you are involved with. Basically what I’m saying is it starts with you! No matter what, you must deal with you (the man/woman in the mirror)! If you don’t deal with the core of who you are it defiles everything else.

My prayer is that people learn to deal with their issues FIRST before getting into relationships. Learn to love you and embrace yourselves. The reason many relationships are messed up is people are seeking love without knowing what it is or what it isn’t. Stop waiting to be validated by other people, because most agendas are different than your own. Stand up, be strong, and most of all learn to love you!

 

 

 

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