I wanted to write on this subject because in my opinion many have the concept of love all wrong. First of all a lot of people don’t have a clue what love is about and if they don’t know what love is then they certainly don’t understand what love is not!
Love is a lot of things to a lot of people; this is because most don’t really know what real love looks or feels like. Let me tell you what love is; love is gentle, kind, patient, longsuffering (good and bad times), understanding, sharing, giving, supportive, loyalty, faithfulness, commitment, and dedication. Love is built on a solid foundation with communication as the catalyst. If couples don’t know how to effectively communicate their relationships will fail. Many don’t believe they will ever meet someone who hold the characteristics of a person who can give them real love so they settle!
You’ve seen me write many times; too many people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and in all of the wrong ways. I don’t say or write it just for general purposes. I do it because it’s true!
People get into relationships for many reasons but I believe loneliness and lust or the two biggest reasons. These are individuals who has issues with themselves such as self esteem, confidence, insecurities of some kind, and especially immaturity (although most think they are mature). It all came from somewhere!!! Their focus is simply to be with someone because it makes them feel valued or loved when they connect with someone even though oftentimes the connection is not conducive to a healthy relationship.
Over the years I’ve heard many people say that “love isn’t enough.” Yes, this is true when it isn’t “real love.” You can’t just love a person, you must also be in love with who you love. You can’t be in love by yourself, the problem is many people are! A person can love you; meaning they care about your well being, but it doesn’t mean they are in love with you, which makes a world of difference! Too many has settled with someone loving them although they aren’t in love with them. They settle because of the baggage they haven’t yet disposed of inside of them. They are going off of the emotions of their hearts and making it all about what they want and nothing about what they really need. These are individuals who are blind by their emotions!
Far too many individuals settle out of lust. These are immature folks who has a lot of growing up to do. These types of individuals are fulfilled by every aspect of their flesh. They see with their eyes and their hearts. They find themselves in the most unfulfilling relationships. Many of these people are in unhealthy and unhappy relationships. They have significant others yet they are extremely lonely in their relationships. They’ve settled!!! Looks in some way or another will disminish and so will our bodies. If relationships are based on looks and sex they will eventually fail. Material things nor children has kept relationships together. People may stay together, but they are miserable. If people aren’t in love with who they love, it’s bound to fail and it has to go both ways, NOT just one.
People get into relationships that are bad from the beginning, yet they continue to pursue what they already know isn’t good for them. These types of people aren’t only dealing with the emotions they feel concerning the individual they think they love; their emotions also involves their own inner issues from past experiences they haven’t resolved which affects their daily functioning (thoughts, emotions, actions, which affects their choices and decisions made). If people don’t face that man/woman in the mirror it will wreak havoc in their lives.
I believe the saying “opposites attract” is true to an extent. People are different period! I believe because of this difference opposites will attract, however; individuals must still meet in the middle and get on the same accord in order for their relationships to become healthy relationships. If people aren’t on the same accord they will definitely have problems and most of these relationships will fail. A failed relationship isn’t neccessarily one where individuals are no longer together. It is also any relationship where two people remain together but they are unhappy and the relationship is unhealthy.
Real love is enough, because it has everything to offer a person. It is a relationship that gives one not only what they desire and want, but most importantly what they need! A lot of people say they want real love, yet when they get someone with true qualities and characteristics they take them for granted because they don’t know what real love is or isn’t. They are used to their old ways and they haven’t yet matured. They change individuals, but the caliber of people they deal with are the same so when they receive real love they mess it up. There are many who let real love slip by, because they don’t know how to receive it.
I’ve mention in blogs before what love isn’t. Love isn’t abusive in any form, controlling, obsessive, possessive, separate, one-sided, impatient, and it certainly isn’t based on what one has, how one looks, or sex.
No matter what people are given, how they’re encouraged, motivated, inspired, etc; they will still continue to get into what they find out are unfulfilling, unhealthy, and unhappy relationships. It’s all about decisions and choices, if you make the wrong ones you will have to face the consequences of your actions. If you find yourself going around in circles (meaning you’re in and out of the same types of relationships), it’s NOT the other person, it’s YOU!