I thought I would write a little about this since it is a major issue for many. One thing I truly believe is people must start out in their relationships the way they intend to hold out. In a nutshell it means know what you’re getting into before you get in to it. When someone shows you their true colors, believe them. Stop thinking you can change or fix people, because you can’t. In the beginning of your relationships if you don’t know what you’re getting into or if you accept what you’re getting into; it is what you’re most likely stuck with. Too many people get into relationships ignoring all the important signs. They see them, but they are blind to them.
There are a lot of issues in relationships concerning baby mama and baby daddy drama that simply shouldn’t be. Men and women, if you’re in a relationship with someone other than the mother or father of your children and there’s always crap spilling over into your current relationships from your ex’s, this will become an epic problem.
Too many people allow their ex’s to cause havoc in their current relationships. This shouldn’t be the case. If people aren’t able to handle the drama their ex’s bring, it will be a chaotic and possibly volatile situation. It’s complete nonsense!
I understand fathers and mothers will always be fathers and mothers to their ex’s children, but it doesn’t mean it give ex’s free passes or the right to interfere in current relationships. Oftentimes when this happens it’s because someone hasn’t let go. You can let go of the person without letting go of the children. People must learn when it’s over it’s over (children or not). They can have children and still be cordial and civil to one another.
A lot of women try to use their children as pawns and it’s a sad thing. Verbally they say their relationships are over, but they think they have power over the men, because they have their children. These types of women try to control the men although the men are in new relationships. Some men have difficulty taking control of the situation out of fear of not seeing the children or because they still have feelings for the mother of their child. As I always say, when it’s over it should be OVER! If a new significant other has to contend with problematic ex’s this is a terrible relationship to be in. It will continue to happen if people don’t nip things in the bud (sooner versus later).
Men use excuses too! Some claim they don’t want another man raising their child when some of these men know they weren’t helping raise them in the first place. It’s an excuse to try to control the situation. It’s an excuse to stay connected to the women.
I firmly believe if it’s not over (completely) don’t move on to another relationship. There are plenty of people who are unhappy, because they are constantly bombarded and harassed by their current significant other’s ex. If people are handling their situations with their ex’s properly it would eliminate unnecessary problems in their current relationships. As long as significant others choose to not do this, it will develop into bad situations and unhappy relationships. Take a stand and do the right thing. If you’re no longer with the mother or father of your children and have gotten into another relationship, don’t allow your ex to control or manipulate what’s happening in your current relationship.
There are many people who claim it’s all about the children knowing it’s a blatant lie! You can be a mother or father to your child without all of the shenanigans. Those who can’t have other agendas and intentions. If you find your children are in unhealthy environment that’s a completely different situation; as a parent you’re supposed to rattle the cage. However, this post is about people who have issues with letting go of their ex’s because they still have feelings for them. Those feeling could be feelings of love or feelings of hate. Their goal is to cause disruption in their ex’s current relationships.
I’m a woman and personally it sickens me to see women do this type of mess! There are plenty who use their children this way. Men are no better some of them do it too and they are just as wrong. To act this way does nothing but cause problems for everyone involved (the children, the ex’s, and the new individuals in relationships with them).