You say it’s Them, I say it’s You


A question many should ask themselves is why do I settle for less???? Why do many of you feel you’re so undeserving???? If a person wants change they will make an effort to change. Change will only happen when a person has gotten to a point in life where they want change. Many people are merely existing. I think this is beyond sad. Way too many people have become content with life, they have gotten used to being the way they are they don’t realize they need to change. In order for something different to happen a person must do something different. Too many people settle, period! People settle in their jobs, relationships, mindsets, and most aspects of their lives. I believe in order to change any of it,  a person must first change their negative mindset. Most don’t understand by them being content and complacent it is something negative they need to change.

I have spoken to and know personally many people who are unhappy in their relationships. Who do you think has the power to change it? Only the individual who’s unhappy. A person’s happiness shouldn’t be based upon ANYONE else. If it is this is someone who has freely given their power to someone else and it’s a sign something is wrong that needs to be fixed within self. When you’re in a relationship and the other person isn’t really about you, they will show it in some way. They will talk negative, disrespect you, be oblivious of your feelings or concerns, take you for granted, defile your relationship by involving others, take all you have but give nothing in return, mooch off of you until you’re drained mentally-physically-and materially.  Although they obviously have their own issues, the real problem doesn’t lie with the other individual it lies with you; the one who allows it.

If people could only understand their value and worth. If they only knew they have the power to accept or NOT accept crap their significant others give them. I always say we teach people EXACTLY how to treat us. They figure it out quick, but the ones on the receiving in don’t get it. The reason people don’t get it because they haven’t yet dealt with their own issues which keep them trapped in wrong ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. People are so gullible and accepting when it comes to love. They “can’t see the forest from the trees.” They miss so much because they are blind and can only comprehend what they want even when it’s not good. In the meantime they’re missing the truth. They are led by emotions.

Do you know what you think is followed up by what you fee;, which pretty much determines how you will act? Most think one way and do another, who a person really is isn’t what they display, people lie about who they are, how they feel, etc.etc. It all comes from what’s really inside of us. If people haven’t dealt with their issues, etc those issues will be the driving force in all of the decisions they make in life (good or bad). You can do good, but have bad intentions behind what you did, which still is bad. Those issues will eventually deal with  them showing up throughout their lives and seen through bad choices and decisions. People are moved by emotions rather than reality. It’s their distorted view of the truth, because people seek self gratification at any and all cost.

We’ve all at some point made bad choices and decisions, but we must mature and unfortunately not everyone does. What a person has gone through in life no longer can hurt them, people are hurting themselves by hanging on to those things. The events are over, the memories are left. People must make conscious decisions to no longer give those memories power in their lives. Anything uncontrolled controls us. You never forget, but it doesn’t mean you have to give it power. When people grasp this concept their lives will change. When they don’t they are those people who continuously go in and out of relationships enduring the same things with the same types of people. They are treated exactly how they allow.

Not only that once a person really matures, they understand people have agendas (good and bad). A mature person accepts people for who they are (knowing that who they are isn’t necessarily who they are pretending to be). You learn all of this by not just going through things, but learning as you go. Learning from all you encounter is what strengthens and matures us. At least in my experience and opinion. Experiences teaches us what TO do next time and what NOT to do again. Many people choose to go through the same things over and over. They don’t learn they only experience. This is why so many are unhappy in their relationships and accept any and everything from people who claim to love them.

In an earlier post I mentioned that if a person learn to love his or herself, this will be an individual who will not allow any and everything in their lives. They will understand self worth and value. They will no longer seek love in all of the wrong ways, places, and from the wrong people. They will see the truth when it’s revealed and will not be blind by what they want due to emotions. They may feel with their hearts, but they will use their brains also to make better choices and decisions.  They will see the truth and when it’s revealed they won’t have any problems with moving on and away from mess. They will learn what love is and what love isn’t. Trust me, you can be this individual, but you must want to be. Stop allowing people to do what they want to you, no longer give away what belongs to you; your power!

Some people are completely miserable in their relationships, yet they stay. I say to these people take one moment and think about how your relationships started. Most times they end the way they begin or the same issues they started with will be the very ones plague them throughout their relationships. I don’t know why people think things will change, because most times they don’t. If you accept it in the beginning; expect it throughout the relationship, that’s just how it goes. Zebra’s don’t change their stripes! People can change, but oftentimes if you take any and everything to get or keep someone, you will have nothing but misery to pay for the consequences of your actions. The choice is ALWAYS yours!