Playing The Fool Gets You Played

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Yeah, I wrote! Listen we can try to sugarcoat and water things down, but the truth of the matter if you’re dumbing yourself down or playing the fool in a relationship, the ONLY one getting played is you!

As a woman I’ve heard other women say, “I’m pretending I don’t know this or that is going on or I’m just going along with it, but I know what’s up.” If you’re acting like you don’t know, but you are still going along with it, then you’re still accepting whatever it is. If you’re pretending to not see what’s happening, although you really do see. Then you’re accepting it! You’re
“playing the fool only to get played.” As long as you go along with another person’s crap, they get to do to you whatever they like. It says something about them, but it also says something about you!

Both men and women do it. They turn a blind eye to their situations as if it will make things go away. NO, it doesn’t! In their hearts they know the mess they’re in, but try to act as if it’s alright, when it isn’t. You’re only (playing the fool only to get played).

I know many of you won’t see it this way and I don’t expect for you too, but the truth is still the truth! People make a million excuses as to why they put up with what they put up with. Remember, people will treat you EXACTLY how you allow and in fact you teach them how to treat you! That goes for family, friends, significant others, children, co-workers, or whomever.

In many relationships people put up with unnecessary crap, because of their individual true relationship with self. People who are dealing with unresolved issues will oftentimes seek out things they desire and want, dismissing what they truly need. They will go along to get along; which includes putting up with unnecessary mess to be a part of something or to be loved. Most are led by their feelings and emotions.

Folks can sense vulnerability in others. They see it in the actions of others. There are plenty of people with agendas different than the person they are with. They will get from you what they can and they will treat you exactly how they want to, because it’s what’s allowed. They know it and you know it!

Trying to love someone into loving you just doesn’t work, especially when you don’t even love yourself. There are many people who don’t know what love is or what love isn’t. They go off of their feelings and emotions only to find themselves in bad situations in which they willfully got into. Sometimes you have to stop looking at the other person and examine yourself.

Many women accept ridiculous crap from their men. They have restrictions, boundaries, and guidelines put on them by their significant others, yet their significant others do what they want. You’re being played! I know it doesn’t sit well with someone, but it’s okay. I hope it rattles you enough to take an assessment of yourself and your situation.

I want people to stop denying the truth and face reality. A lot of people ask for the truth, but when they get it they feel some type of way about it. No matter the truth, some people will turn a deaf ear and blind eyes to it. It all goes back to who you really are as an individual. What’s inside of you speaks volumes in your actions.

I understand sometimes people are in very abusive relationships and they pretend this or that in fear of their lives. I completely understand this logic. However; no matter the situation if this happens, you’re still going along with it. You’ve given power to the other person to do whatever they want to do to you, because they know you’ll go along with it! Devastating as it may be you’re still “playing the fool and getting played.” Why? Because your significant other gets to treat you any kind of way, because it is what you’ve allowed. If you’re afraid to leave you’ve stayed way too long!! Seek help with your situation before it’s too late!

Moral of it this blog is your life belongs to you! Your power, self esteem, peace of mind, courage, strength, etc, etc, belongs to you and ONLY you! However, your significant other or anyone else whom you allow will take it from you causing yours to diminish. Never give anyone or anything power to take what belongs to you! Never play the fool, if you play the fool then you subject yourself to being played. Why? Because technically who you allow to play you see you as a fool! If you have to be lied to, deceived, manipulated, cheated on, abused, etc, etc it is NOT love, because love has NOTHING to do with it! Don’t play the fool, because it makes you one who will undoubtedly get played!

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Staying Yet Straying

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Okay, here I go again. It is up to each individual as to what they choose in their relationships. However; you ARE to blame for what you allow. You’re to blame for what you accept and put up with. No one can do to you more than you allow. People allow much unnecessary drama in the name of love when love has nothing at all to do with it. Love isn’t those things a lot of people claim it to be.

People who stray outside of their relationships don’t do it because of the person their cheating on. Yes sometimes that person is a problem, but the real reason a person strays is due to their own inner issues. Some people make all of the excuses in their world, but at the end of the day, they cheat, because they want to.

If you stray it’s no one’s decision to do it, but yours. If you stay after he or she strays it’s no one’s decision, but yours to do it. People stray for many reasons, but the fact of the matter is those reasons are all excuses. People cheat because they want to and them wanting to come from other underlined unresolved issues. People stay for the same reason. People who stay give excuses as to why, however truth be told their reasons all boils down to what’s going on inside of them. This is normally due to long ago unresolved issues. People seek love no matter the consequences; which is a sad thing!

I’m all for people remaining together. However, only in healthy relationships! Anyone who stays in an unhealthy relationship must look at the man/woman in the mirror and figure out why. Anyone who’s cheating on their significant other must do the same. Facing inner issues is detrimental in being able to grow into mature adults.

Society is full of tainted and broken people filled with toxicities of their pasts. When people don’t deal with their issues it affects every facet of their lives (relationships, jobs, decisions, choices, health, etc). People embed themselves into all types of positions only to have their demons surface to the top and ruin their opportunities. People get into relationships with clear indications it’s bad from the start only to allow their demons and their significant others demons to rise up and interfere with the relationship.

“The blind can’t lead the blind, unless they both fall in the ditch.” You can’t save anyone and no one can save you! You can’t change anyone and no one can change you. As I will continue to say; families, friends, and significant others may motivate, inspire, or influence you, but the decision to be saved or change falls on the individual who needs it. People think their love making skills, cooking, material things, looks, statuses, titles; may influence a person to change. NOT necessarily!! Even if a person changes due to some type of influence if they don’t change because they feel a need to change the change will not be lasting. It will ONLY be temporary to appease the other person or the situation. The same issues will come up again and again.

Every last one of us can put on facades pretending to be this or that, but every single time something will show the truth. It may be subtle, but nevertheless the truth will always present. Who a person try to hide and who a person is are different for immature people who think they are mature. Those who pretend to be one way yet knowing they’re another show the true signs at some point. It is shown through their actions, decisions, choices, etc. It NEVER fails! We can run, change locations, change jobs, hide, deceive, pretend, disguise, put on facades. However, we can’t EVER run or hide from the truth. We can’t run or hide from self! The truth lies within!! Unless a person resolve their issues they will NOT mature to be the people they’re destined to be.

A cheater will cheat until he or she decides to deal with the inner man or woman and come to the conclusion they are better than that. They are never satisfied with who they have, because they don’t truly love self, due to their inner issues. They choose not to be faithful and loyal to no one, because they can’t be faithful or loyal to self. They are immature in their thinking and for them it’s about gratification of the flesh (physical body, their eyes, material things, statuses, etc).

A person will stay in an unhealthy relationship (cheated on, beat on, disrespected, mistreated in all forms), until they deal with the inner man or woman and decide they deserve better; which starts with loving self. It’s always up the individual. You, you, and I! Every last one of us willfully choose what we allow into our lives. We can make excuses, but what we choose falls on us individually.

To Love Him Is To Live For Him

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Point blank and the bottom line! People are full excuses and they are quickly offended at the truth! Although many proclaim Him, they are offended at the Word of God. Lies!!! There is no way a person who say they love the Lord and are truly about His business will be offended at the Word. People are falling away left and right, because they never had any roots. They are about lip service, but no service to Jesus.

How can a person who profess Christ in their life always defend someone who willfully go against the Word of God. This type of person is fooling his or herself. No way it should be happening. People who are always at the defense of those who are doing things clearly against the Word of God are NOT on the side of Jesus.

People have the right to do what they want to do. However, when you try to convince me it’s right when I know it’s against the Word of God, you’re wrong! I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything, debate, or judge; I’m only standing for what is right and for the Word of God! Those who are offended need to check self, because you’re not serving who you say you are. If you’re agreeing with something against God’s Word, then you’re against God, period!

Many folks want to claim Him, but live any kind of way. They want to claim Him, yet follow up behind things that are against God. They are ONLY damning and fooling self! You can NOT say you love Him, yet go against Him. Well you can say it, but you would be lying if you’re defending wrong! To love Him is to live for Him. There’s no other way. It’s either this OR that! Those are the ONLY two options. It’s your choice!

I don’t care who you are or anything else, if what you do is against Jesus the Son it’s against God the Father. You can’t bypass Jesus, because through Him is the ONLY way to the Father. Yes, people have the right to live how they choose. To stand on the Word of God isn’t condemning or judging, it’s faithfully and firmly standing on the truth of God’s Word.

Individuals are VERY quick to say you’re judging and no one’s perfect. Excuses, excuses, excuses, which gets you nowhere! You can’t grow if you keep making excuses to remain where you are. You can’t be Team Jesus if you’re “professing Him with your lips, but hearts are far from Him.” It’s NOT possible. People are doing it, but the reality of it is even if you gained the whole world you STILL lose!

People must STOP being wishy washy and doubled minded. People must stand on God’s Word if you love Him, no matter what or who! A lot of people say what they think others want to hear (tickling the ears). No, if you’re a true believer than you should be upholding the Word of God and NOT going along to get along. That will get you nowhere, but in hell!

Red Flags of a Catfish Scheme

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I know people are looking for love where they can. That is partly the problem, people are looking for love in all of the wrong ways, with all of the wrong people, and in all of the wrong places.

I realize online dating works for many people, but you MUST use common sense when online dating. People truly show you who they are whether it’s behind a computer screen or face to face. The main reason people miss the signs and cues is because they are allowing their hearts to lead. They are being led by feelings and emotions. They look past all of the imminent signs present, because of what they are feeling. They are consumed by what they perceive is love and it’s all they see.

Online dating isn’t the problem. The problem is the people who are partaking in the online dating. If you are led by what you’re feeling, you’re being led by the flesh. This means you’re led by your feelings, emotions, desires, and wants. If you thought about what you truly needed you would think twice about your situation.

No matter how many people have lost their lives or been affected in some way through online dating, people still are doing it. I’m not saying online dating is all together bad. It works for some people. What I’m saying is use common sense and caution. If you go in with your eyes wide shut, you will be consumed by your feelings and emotions. You will have to deal with the consequences!

RED FLAGS
Anybody who has been dating a person for months and years without ever seeing the individual this is a red flag! If every time you want to meet up with them, skype, Face Time, Facebook messenger, or see them in some way in person and they’re always unavailable, this is a red flag. There are many ways to see a person through different apps if not in person. If you decide to meet up and they don’t want to in a public area, this is red flag. Never invite someone to your home nor give them the address.

If you’re having to send them money, this is a red flag. A lot of scammers ask you for money right away. They always claims deaths or accidents. I don’t care what excuse they give, you should have common sense not to send a stranger money. It’s a scam. They know you’re vulnerable and they are playing on your emotions. They know, because many of you tell your life history and all they’re doing is building a solid case to deceive you with the ammunition you freely provided to him or her.

If you google their name and someone else pops up, this is a red flag. If you’re going to use social media online dating, there are many ways to see if you’re dealing with who you think you are. You have to put in the time to research. You can google images, accounts, and other things to see if something fishy is going on.

If you never get to talk to them it’s a red flag. Sometimes it could be an indication it’s someone you know or they simply don’t want you hear their voice for some reason. Sometimes people are foreigners and they know you will hear the accent.

If they are telling you they love you and whispering all the sweet nothings to you right away, this is a red flag. They are telling you what they know you want to hear. They are giving you exactly what you told them you wanted. They give back to you in a very deceitful way what you freely provided to them. They use it against you to manipulate you into believing they really care for you to get out of you what they want.

If they want information from you about personal things, yet never provide you with any, this is a red flag. They are fishing to find out as much about you as they can to play their game right.

I’ve always said and written, when an individual love his or herself, they will be very careful who they allow into their lives. They aren’t eager or desperate for love. They aren’t controlled by their feeling or emotions. They see things for what they are and they have the sense to get away from a relationship that has red flags!

Unfortunately many miss the signs because they are caught up by their feelings and emotions. Being led by feelings and emotions put many in dire situations, they shouldn’t of ever been in. If people do not open their eyes to the truth they will continue to be victims of the Catfish scheme!

Your Struggle Don’t Have to Consume You

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Listen, I’ll be the first to say the “struggle is real!” My struggles aren’t your struggles, but we all have our own individually. We all are going through something and will do so until the day we die. Unfortunately it’s a part of life. We have to take the good with the bad, there is no escaping it. Despite the struggle it doesn’t have to control you!

I believe many people succumb to their struggles because they think it’s easier to give in then it is to fight. This isn’t true! I know I’m not going through your struggles, I have my own. However, I do know no matter the struggle it can’t consume and control you unless you choose for it to by giving in.

Every person alive will have their struggles. Struggles comes in many forms such as sickness, addictions, mental and physical struggles, finances, resources for living (home, etc), relationships, jobs or the lack of, and the list goes on.

Many people allow what they are going through to break them. It doesn’t have to! Until a person come to the understanding of who they are, they will always allow people and things to bring them down. None of us benefit from simply going through things. We all should grow as we go through things in life. Simply going through doesn’t help you to grow IF you don’t learn from it. We can all always get some good out of a bad situation. It depends on the individual and their state of mind. I believe it begins by loving self through the “good, bad, and the ugly.” When we love self we tend to see things differently. One thing for sure is when you love yourself you give nothing or no one your power. This mindset saves a person from unnecessary drama!

Troubles don’t last always, they all have a time of expiration. It may feel as if they do while you’re going through, but in reality they don’t. They come and they go. It would be a wonderful thing if we never had any trials or tribulations. Unfortunately we have, we do, and we will. As I’ve written many times before, no one is exempt!

People want to give up on self when they’re going through something difficult. Don’t do it! Hang in there it too shall pass! Something else may be around the corner, but it will pass too! No matter what we go through someone else is or has gone through worse. I know people don’t care or even want to hear it, because all their doing is worrying about what they’re going through. That’s because people are very inclined to be led by their feelings and emotions. Stop buckling under every situation! You’ll never grow this way!

One of the biggest mistakes people make is putting on facade’s. They pretend to be something they are not! They allow society to put them on pedal stools they aren’t capable of staying on. They play roles not really meant for them to play. They do and act how they believe people think they should; which isn’t who they really are. They allow themselves to be put on certain levels they aren’t able to maintain. They cause themselves unnecessary stress! These added pressures bogs them down mentally, physically, and spiritually.

People “bite off way more than they can chew” in life; only to end up choking. They can’t handle the pressure which by the way are pressures most willfully allowed. If the load is too heavy lighten it! If the pressure is too much, say so! Stop trying to be something you’re not! Stop trying to be everything to everybody. It never works out! When people do this they cause themselves much more drama; more than they already have in life. Everything teaches us to deal with the next phase in life. The problem is many people don’t learn the lessons being taught and it’s why they keep going through the same things or similar things. Don’t let your struggles consume you!!

A Woman Can Definitely Raise A Son To Be A Man

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Throughout my life I’ve heard woman can’t raise boys to be men. This is a LIE! People have no clue what they are talking about. When you raise a child it’s not about raising a boy to become a man or raising a girl to become a woman. It’s about raising a child to be able to survive in this world and stand on their own two feet.

Think about this for a second. Who can teach a man how to treat, love, and care for a woman better than a woman? A woman knows what a woman needs. She can teach this better than a man through affection, love, and nuturing. As women this is what we do! Who can teach a boy how to protect his family better than a woman? As women we will fight tooth and nail to protect our young ones, this happens even in the animal kingdom. Who can teach a boy to provide better than a woman? It’s all she does, because if she works outside the house her work is never done even when she gets home. Who can teach a boy to be self sufficient in cleaning and cooking for self than a mother? Yes, I know a dad can too, but I’m trying to make a point. A woman can teach a son to pee, I know, because I taught my grandson. She can teach a son about sex and anything it takes to be a man. It’s not about feminity or masulinity, it’s about universal things we all need to live and be productive members of society with goals, positive attitudes, and mindsets. At least it’s what I believe.

I’m not saying a woman is naturally physically stronger than a man, although some are because of training. What I’m saying is not only can a man teach his son how to be strong, independent, a protector, a provider, survivor, how to treat a women and other people, but so can a woman. Dad’s who take part in raising their son’s it’s awesome, but stop selling the women short and acting as if they give less than, because she’s a woman. That’s ludicrous!

It sickens me to hear society blaming things on one household parenting. “Oh if he had his dad at home he wouldn’t of done this or that!” Bull crap!! I’ve seen two parent households many times raising undisciplined children who by the way are controlling both parents. I’ve seen two parent households who do nothing but fight causing discord in their children’s lives. I’ve seen two parent households who neglect, do not nuture, or show affection to their children. However, I’ve seen many two parent households who are doing and have done excellent jobs in raising their children. It doesn’t matter if it’s a one or two parent household. What matters is a child gets what they need to survive as adults in this world. What matters is a child is nutured, loved, and shown affection and taught respect to self and others.

The things a child needs in order to grow into a productive adult whether male or female can be taught by one parent or both parents. It can be taught by the male or the female. It doesn’t matter as long as the parent or parents are mature enough to give a child what they need in all areas of life.

We all know normally men and women act differently, however, this doesn’t mean a woman will teach her son to be feminine or that a man will teach his daughter to be masculine. Society has it all wrong. Everything is stereotypic along with the house and white picket fence. Lies!!

It reminds me of a time I was providing mental health therapy to someone who had been in the combat zone. He told me I didn’t understand what he’d gone through. I said of course not and I’m not sitting here trying to say I do. However what I fully understand is the affects of pain, suffering, mental instability, things causing a person to be suicidal, homicidal, depressed etc. My goal is to teach you coping mechanisms and the ability to function normally day to day in society whether it’s due to you being down range or due to other underlying issues compacted along with you going down range. After that, he got it!

The moral of it all is a woman can indeed raise a son to be a strong independent and loving man who is empowered to stand up on his own two feet and face the world coming at him. It’s taking nothing away from men at all. I’ve seen it done over and over. My mom did it as well! I’m just saying!!