Control and Power Is Yours

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It’s up to you what you allow in your life. I’m not saying you always have control of what happens, no! I’m not saying that at all, because life happens to us all. What I am saying is you have full control as to how you allow life and all it brings to affect you. Only you have the power to control this unless you give this power away.

The problem with most people is they freely give their power away. When a person do not take ownership and responsibility of who they are they fail self. The blame falls on no one other than the individual! It may seems like a lie, but I assure you it’s the truth!

People spend most of their lives blaming other people for their problems instead of trying to fix their lives. I will admit sometimes people can contribute to, but at the end of the day the responsbility falls on the individual. People contribute to how a person may think, feel, and act, because it’s what the individual gets accustomed to (what they learned), STILL yet, a person can and MUST choose to form their own thoughts and feelings in this life. What I mean is this; no matter what has happened to you, no matter how tragic, no matter who did it, how it affects your life depends on you! The memories and thoughts possesses and controls your life when you allow them to. People must free their minds of their wrong ways of thinking, no matter how they got that way.

A person can choose drugs, alcohol, sex, suicide, homicide, anger, bitterness, envy, hatred, jealousy, bad relationships, etc. etc, the choice is theirs or a person can choose to take their power and control into their own hands and not allow anyone or anything to control their life.

People do bad things to other people. It’s because they too need to face their issues. A lot of times it’s family and friends who will hurt you the most. It doesn’t matter who, what matters is how you’ve allowed it to affect your life. If people would grasp the fact what you give your energy and power to controls you; maybe they will decide to change their ways of thinking.

Memories are only as powerful as you make them. Most people are stuck by their own ways of thinking. They are literally prisoners to their own states of mind. Your memories forms your thoughts, but YOU have control as to how they affect you. Stop letting your thoughts consume you! You can’t control thoughts from coming, but you certainly can control how they affect your life. You can control the degree of power you give them. You can control the intensity of them. Anything you give your power to you give the power to control you!

The only way to heal from past pains is by facing them. Those pains causes many people the inability to properly function. People allow themselves to be consumed by all of the dark ugly things. Many people have allowed this built up ugliness to ruin their lives. They are filled with anger, hate, blame, and bitterness until it spills from the inside out into every facet of their lives doing nothing but destroying whatever in it’s path. This is because people allow all of the pent up stuff to consume them.

This is exactly why we see all of the racism (people hating and don’t have a clue as to why), road rage (people are on the attack when the situation isn’t the problem the angry individual is their own problem), senseless killings (out of pent up anger, wrong ways of thinking and feeling) suicides (due to their thoughts and feelings they let consume them), doing things they think are in secret (when there are no secrets), lying-faking-pretending (when it doesn’t fix the problem), bad choices and decisions made by people all over the world.

People get into bad relationships based off of their thoughts and feelings. People seek love in the wrong ways, wrong places, and from the wrong people based on their thoughts and feelings. People pressure and try to force others into relationships with them based on their thoughts and feelings. People do things they wouldn’t normally do to please others bases on their thoughts and feelings. People hold in unnecessary junk based on their thoughts and feelings. People are angry, bitter, jealous, hating, etc based on their thoughts and feelings. People give their power and control away to how they think, feel, and act! Think about it, if you’re thinking the wrong way, don’t you think all of the decisions and choices you make will be based on how you think and feel? They will!

The ONLY way people can heal from it all is by changing how they allow things to affect them. No one can do this if they don’t first change their negative/wrong ways of thinking. It’s YOUR life! Love you enough to want the best for yourself. Guess what if you don’t love yourself you’re failing yourself AND it’s clear you are giving your power and control to your wrong ways of thinking. This wrong way of thinking and feeling allows you to give your power to people and things.

We are going into another year! Today make a choice to love you! Seek love in yourself, before you seek it in ANY other human being. Forgive yourself and embrace this new coming year with the greatest passion. Your power and control ONLY belongs to you! Take it!!! Take it by being intentional, aware, and consistent in what you are thinking and how you allow it to affect you in every single situation. Say NO to your negative thoughts and ways of thinking. You must be aware of what you’re doing to self. This phenomenal change starts with you. Start right now! You can re-gain your power and control. Once you do, never give it away again! Remember all any of us has is this moment we are living right now. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t promised. All we will ever have is the present moment! We can’t live in the past it’s gone. We can plan for the future, but can’t live in the future until it gets here. By the way once it’s here it ends up as the present. We can only actually live in the present!

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Is Your Mind Your Friend or Foe

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It is up to us what we choose. Millions of people are trapped in places they choose, but don’t necessarily want to be. When a person has a wrong way of thinking, then comes the wrongs ways of feeling and acting. People are stuck in pasts that no longer exist. Yes, the memories will be with us forever, but those memories do not have to dictate the rest of our lives. Those memories are residual effects of our pasts. We don’t have to be controlled by them. It’s how people allow the memories to affect them that’s causing the issues in their lives. It does nothing but keep people angry, bitter, hateful, jealous, envious, full of malice and strife, unhappy, depressed, etc, etc. No one can be happy with all of this junk in them. A person can dwell on the past all they want, but the truth is all anyone of has is the present. We can live it in or be lost trying to hold on to the past.

Nothing is really what it seems, because most people distort the truth according to how they perceive things. Normally our perceptions aren’t true reality, because it’s tainted by the way we think. If a person is thinking negatively they are thinking the wrong way, which affects everything in the person’s life.

Take a moment to think about your life. Think about where you are at this point. Whether good or bad, think about what has helped shaped you to become who or what you are. Why do you think you’re the way you are? It all goes back to how you think about things. Negative thinking can’t produce positive things. People can pretend all day, the truth always wins. It always appears. Do you know why? It’s because what you give the most power to will prevail no matter how you try to hide it. It shows up in the things you do whether you think they are done in secret or if done outwardly.

Many people are stuck due to their mental states without realizing their biggest problem is self. They are sabotaging their own lives due to how they think. If you’re always focusing on negative thoughts they will take over, then the feelings and actions will soon to follow. This way of thinking blocks many people from becoming the best individuals they can possibly be. This way of thinking keeps people held in captivity, bound, and stuck. This is why people are repeating things from generations to generations. This is why people are doing the same things year end and year out. They do not change their ways of thinking. As I’ve said many times if you don’t change your ways of thinking the only option left is to remain the same! Again I ask, is your mind your friend or foe? You may fool me or someone else, but you will NEVER fool yourself! We are about to enter into another year, the year 2019! Will you choose to change or remain the same?

How do you Know if you Love Yourself

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It is always shown in how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you! Sometimes people don’t realize they don’t love self. They actually think they do. When you allow foolishness in your life, there is a problem with you! You may not want to accept this truth, but it’s still the truth.

A lot of times a person don’t want to spend time with self, but they think other people should want to be with them. You must learn to spend time with self. Alone time teaches you EXACTLY who or what you are! You know you better than anyone else. When no one else is around, it leaves you with who you really are! Either you grow to be a better person or you choose to stay the same. It depends on you! It’s a decision only you can make for yourself!

You can fake and pretend with other people, but you know the real you! You can run and hide from folks, but you can’t from yourself. There are many things in life that happens to us involuntarily. We didn’t ask for it, but it happened. No matter what it is or who was involved it doesn’t define who we are or who we become unless we allow it.

We must learn to love self despite of anything and everything! When we do it changes the course of our lives. It opens our eyes to the truth. We see things differently, because we think differently. Junk you used to carry around you will let go. Junk you used to take you will no longer take.

Life is about you! It’s not about what others do, say, or act. It’s about how you let those things affect you! People can’t crush your soul if you don’t allow them too. They can’t take your power if you don’t give it. When you learn to love yourself it’s a game changer!

The problem I’ve found with many people is they lean and depend on others too much. They give people their power by seeking happiness, love, peace, and joy in those people. This can have devastating results! If you’ve lived long enough then you should know the one’s you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the most if you allow. No one can possess your power if you didn’t freely give it for them to possess. People who hurt you are also individuals who are hurting in some form or another. Like you, they too need to learn to love self.

People will always have something to say. When you give your power they will talk about you, when you take back your power they will talk about you. Guess what? Let them talk, they will do it anyways! I guarantee you that you will feel much better and the joy, peace, love, and happiness you used to seek in others you will find in yourself.

When you learn to love yourself people will see it in you. They will see the change. They will see your strength. They will know they can’t treat you any kind of way. They know they will have to move along with their shenanigans. Some will not want to be around you at all. They don’t like the change in you, because they are still unhappy with what’s inside of them. It’s okay, it’s your life not theirs. You will no longer base your happiness, peace, love, or joy on anyone other than yourself.

No one can love you if they don’t love self and you can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself. It never starts with the other person, it starts with you!

Pressuring Someone Into a Relationship

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It won’t work! All you’re doing is causing yourself unnecessary heartache, headaches, and pain. If you have to beg a person to be with you, then you’re with the wrong person. Not only are you with the wrong person, you need to do a self assessment on yourself. You have issues you need to face! You obviously don’t love yourself. You may think you do, but your actions shows you don’t.

Anytime you have to beg a man or woman to be in a relationship you’re in the wrong one, with the wrong person. Anytime you put up with anything to be with someone you’re with the wrong person. Anytime you’re willing to do anything to be with someone you’re with the wrong person.

People must know their worth! If you don’t people will treat you how you’ve allowed. You taught them exactly how to treat you. They know what you will accept. They will continue to do you any kind of way, because you made no requirements and you laid no standards.

Stop forcing yourself on people who don’t want you. A person will take what you offer and not want you in the process. They stay around because they know what you will do for them, but they do not want you! Many people block true love for some love that happens to be NO love at all!

If someone loves you the relationship wouldn’t have to be forced. You wouldn’t have to beg him or her to be with you. Never subject yourself to this type of relationship. You will not be happy! Stop seeking in someone else what you first don’t possess. Stop thinking someone will love or want to be with you, when you don’t love yourself.

Some people bend over backwards to please a person who cares less about them. This is sad! They don’t love you and you don’t love yourself. They know you don’t love yourself, because you show them in how you allow yourself to be treated. Most of the time the individual you’re forcing into a relationship have their own issues. If they didn’t they wouldn’t allow anyone to force them into a relationship they don’t want to be in. Neither individual should be in a relationship until they learn to love self.

There are many relationships and marriages in this situation. People allow themselves to be pressured into relationships and marriages with people they don’t love. It’s immature on the part of both involved. Don’t allow anyone to force you into something you don’t want to be in with someone you don’t want to be with. It’s a very bad decision. I don’t care the reason, never be with someone you don’t want to be with.

If you are begging someone to be with you, you need to check yourself. No good will come from this type of relationship. You may be with who you want, but they don’t want you! This isn’t love! You know you will reap the consequences of your actions. You’re willfully opening the door for many problems. Don’t expect someone to give you their heart when it’s NOT with you! You can’t force anyone to love you or want to be with you. This isn’t love. They may be with you or even marry you, but they don’t want you! You will go through all types of nonsense, because of the decisions you made. This is unnecessary drama!

Food for Thought on Happiness

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If you’re depending on anyone or anything to make you happy, then you’re in an unhealthy state of mind. When you put your happiness in the hands of another person they will always disappoint you. They will treat you any way they choose, because they know you will take it. There’s no way in this world a person should give this type of power to anyone or anything. If you do trust and believe it’s ONLY temporary! Happiness has to come from within you. Far too many people have given their power to others to determine their happiness. This is why many people find themselves lost, hurt, and confused when people walk away, mistreat them, or die.

Other people can add to your happiness, but they definitely can’t be the source of your happiness. If you’re an unhappy person, you will still be unhappy with someone else. You may have moments of happiness, but it won’t last if you’re unhappy within yourself.

When individuals base their happiness on other people they are setting themselves up to be let down. A lot of times individual’s put all their faith in other people when those very people have their own issues to deal with. It leads to even more unhappiness! The blind leading the blind! It opens a person up for even more chaos in their life. An unhappy person can’t make you happy and if you’re unhappy no one can make you happy!

Happiness must first come from within you, the individual! If it do not this is a problem from the start! Allowing yourself to be dependent on someone else or something for your happiness is a terrible situation to be in. People have their own issues, therefore it’s too much dealing with their own issues and taking on those of others. Trying to seek happiness when you’re unhappy is a losing battle. You will be let down over and over. People will treat you exactly how you treat yourself.

One thing I have learned in life is people with unresolved issues get into relationships with like minded people. Their relationships are unhappy and chaotic because no one knows how to love self or knows how to communicate.

You can’t purchase happiness and you can’t find it in someone else. You must first possess it yourself? Either you’re happy or you’re not! You already know whether you are or not! This is one reason many people can’t stand being alone, because they are unhappy with who they are. They go seeking something in someone else they don’t have in self. It will NEVER last, it will NEVER work!

As mentioned earlier a person may feel happy for a moment, but for them it will come intermittently, because you can’t make an unhappy person happy unless they choose to be. They have to change their mindset, period! Change how you think it changes your life!

Baggage Doesn’t Go Away Unless Thrown Out

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If people could truly understand the message it could help change mindsets. There are many people walking around carrying unnecessary and excess baggage from their pasts. They have the tendency to hold grudges about everything. They are negative people with the wrong mindsets. It’s because they have a lot of baggage inside they need to clean out!

You ever seen the show Hoarders? Metaphorically speaking this is how it is with people who carry baggage around. The baggage I’m referencing is baggage that’s invisible to the naked eye, but it produces visual effects. It ruins the lives of many. It ruins lives because it is what people allow to happen. It’s similar to the life of a hoarder. The more you shovel things aside they do nothing but pile up until you’re overwhelmed by the mess. I’m not bashing hoarders, but I believe it’s a great metaphor where people could get a good visualization of what I am writing about.

If not dealt with and cleaned out baggage will continue to pile up. For many when you add your baggage along with the baggage of others and what life throws at you, it’s too much for some people to handle. A lot of people carry the baggage of others, because they don’t know how to handle their own. They try to juggle it all. It forms into a great big mess! I always say the blind can’t lead the blind, regardless of who is trying to lead.

Until people deal with what is causing them to be how they are they will do nothing other than remain the same. People must be willing to tackle the truth. Its no one’s truth but yours, the individual! Carrying baggage around for a lifetime does nothing, but weigh you down and fill you with suppressed junk. There’s absolutely no benefit to it at all. People carry around things they should have let go long ago.

Some people feel they need closure. Sometimes you can’t get closure, therefore you have to make your own if it helps you to move on. If you need to forgive start by forgiving yourself, then move on from there. We only have one life to live. The sad part is many people waste their lives holding on to old memories of past experiences. Mentally they relive those events due to the power they give those memories which forms those negative thoughts and feelings. No one has to live this way.

Give yourself a chance for happiness. You can’t do it if you’re holding on to baggage. Baggage won’t get rid of itself, you have to throw it out! Dump it and move on! You may never forget, but how much it affects you is up to you! If you continue to hold on to it the baggage continues to pile up, it rots, and it stinks. It will ruin your life if allowed. Please don’t allow it anymore. Don’t go into 2019 the same way you’ve always been. Make a decision to change. Make a decision to no longer deny yourself happiness! Learn to love yourself starting right now! This life is the only one you will get! Make it the best life you can! Make that promise to yourself and then stick to it!

Anyone Putting You Down is Already There

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Think about it! Anybody who is always trying to hurt someone else is hurting. They have issues which has caused them to be they way they’ve become. It’s tough to always hear someone complaining or talking about other people. Sooner or later it gets old and you don’t want the negativity around you.

People point the finger and blame, before they attempt to deal with self. They will complain to anyone who will listen. They would rather be a victim than victorious. They are always negative and makes excuses for everything. People like this don’t understand they are fueling their own fires with their own negativity. They are doing it to self.

Anyone who chooses can change. No one is obligated to stay the same. No one should want to stay the same. People have free will to prosper and grow. Instead of choosing to change many individuals choose to remain the same. They will make every excuse under the sun as to why. The saying “misery loves company” is true. They choose to be the way they are, then they think other people want to deal with it. Well, they don’t, especially when individuals are trying to live positive lives.

If you’re doing the same things for the past years YOU NEED TO CHANGE! If you have the same mindset from previous years and your lifestyle is the same, YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. If you’re still angry, bitter, jealous, envious the other people aren’t the problem, you’re your own problem, YOU NEED TO CHANGE. There is no reason to be jealous, envious, or to hate on anyone at all! If you feel this way towards anyone you’re someone who needs to look inside of yourself. Something is wrong inside to make you feel this way towards other people.

Don’t hate on anyone else for choosing to change. Don’t hate on anyone else for choosing to do something different! Don’t hate on anyone for choosing to do better for self. Don’t hate on anyone who chose to not allow their past to define them. Remember, if you choose not to change you will remain the same. It’s no one’s fault or decision but yours, you the individual! Take the time and energy you’re putting in to disliking and hating on other people into making a positive change in self! Don’t try to project your pain onto other people. Deal with your issues and stop trying to put others down, because you feel bad about yourself. Some people constantly try to put down others when they themselves are in the pit! They think it will cause other people to feel the way they feel. Too many people do this!

Never let people tear you down! Never let what other people think of someone to cause you to feel the same way. Get to know people for yourself. Don’t partake in this type of behavior. If you find yourself doing so, you need to look at yourself.

One thing I can’t stand is for people to talk about other folks when they clearly need to deal with their own inner issues. No one should intentionally try to down anyone else. If people would take the time to deal with who they really are, they will see most times they are their own problem! They will see they ARE the problem!