Surrounded by Enablers

Standard

I see many people around the world doing this (on and off of TV). People already have their issues they’ve not worked out on top of this they are surrounded by people who don’t tell them the truth. People who can’t tell you the truth are people who have their own issues. They obviously do if they are worried about telling a person the truth! Lying to someone does nothing for a person other then keep them in trapped in their wrong mindsets and brokenness.

A broken person doesn’t benefit at all from people around them enabling them. Too many people from the highest status on down are in these types of situations. The reason individual’s are in situations such as this is because they are broken and don’t believe in self, they don’t love self, and they lack confidence and self esteem. They are dependent on others for validation. They can’t see the truth from their own version of reality which is through the eyes of unhealed pains. In most situations they are carrying other people; which adds to their pressures. Instead of those around them who claim to love them tell them the truth they tell them what they know they want to hear. They pretend all is well same as the individual; when it isn’t! This is very debilitating for the individual.

The Bible says “the blind can’t lead the blind lest they both fall into a pit.” This is very true! People who emerge themselves into the lives of others have their own issues. They are seeking something in return whether they speak it or not. There is a hidden agenda. It may not be with intentions to cause harm, but when you don’t tell the truth to someone who needs it, this eventually adds to the disruption in the lives of those individuals.

You see it prevalent in celebrities or those individuals who have some type of status. Many people around them are toxic to them. They pretend to care for or even love them, but they won’t tell them the truth. They would rather lie then to be honest. They know the individual is on the verge of self destruction, yet they will not be honest with the person. They continue to enable the individual normally until some form of breakdown occurs.

You’re NOT helping a person if you can’t be honest with them. I don’t care if you’re family, friend, or someone else. If you’re hanging around trying to gain something or if you just want to be a part of the click then you’re no help to the individual. Matter of fact you’re just as dysfunctional as the individual. This is seen a lot in today’s world. People are falling off of the pedal stools they’ve allowed others to put them on when they themselves were already too unstable to stand there. They knew they were yet they allowed it. No one knows what’s inside of you better than you!

When people allow others to worship and glorify them, it’s impossible to maintain the image they portray when they’re broken. It’s causes too much added stress in their lives. Due to the fact individuals don’t heal from their past issues they find it hard to maintain the image they’ve allowed people to believe of them. They become train wrecks!

One thing for certain is I don’t care what a person’s desires, dreams, goals, etc are in life. If the individual do NOT heal from their past pains no matter what they try to do; they will run into a brick wall! They can not get over it or around that wall until they heal from their past issues. They will carry all of the junk into every situation and relationship in their lives. The junk will always wreak havoc in their lives until they deal with it and heal from it.

People can go to who they consider as the best people for help, trust me they can’t help you until you want to help yourself. Those same celebrity guru’s and other people individuals run to for help oftentimes need help themselves and it’s why people come away the same way they went (broken). Listen, rehab, therapists, etc, etc doesn’t change a person until YOU choose change as your ONLY option! Although a significant part of a person’s issues can be drugs, alcohol, sex, etc it’s not the MAIN problem. People gravitate towards those things because they haven’t yet healed from their underlying issues. Fame, fortune, money, titles, statuses, etc doesn’t change a person. They become people with fame, fortune, money, title, statuses, etc with the same brokenness and full of lifelong baggage UNTIL the individual decides they want to choose change!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with therapy, rehab, etc, but those things only provide tools to assist a person. They can also provide support etc. However, IF the underlying issues aren’t resolved individuals will go back to what they are familiar and what they find their version of comfort (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc). That’s the truth and nothing but the truth! I’ve seen many people being misled both on and off of TV by people who are there supposedly to help. What I am seeing is people being beaten across the head with rehab and therapy, when YES drugs, alcohol, or whatever addiction is part of the problem, but it isn’t the MAIN problem. The focus should be the root cause and until it’s address people will go back to what they know and what they thinks soothes them. It’s like putting a band aid on a wound requiring stitches. It won’t work!

Being in the lives of these people doesn’t benefit them at all if you’re not telling them the truth along the way. Stop contributing to their dysfunction! They need supporters who are true supporters and NOT those who are there to support their own agendas. As stated before people may not understand the added problems they cause to these individual’s by going along to get along. You must call a spade a spade! Although many people don’t like the truth, the truth is still EXACTLY what they need! Be honest with people because the “truth REALLY may set them free!” When you enable others it also enables you!

Advertisements

What You Allow Can Cost You Plenty

Standard

There are many people who are in terrible relationships. They are unhappy and the relationships they’re in are unhealthy. I don’t know how many times people need to hear it, but I will keep saying it and writing it. Both men and women have died in unhealthy relationships or due to them. Those that die in these relationships don’t adhere to the many signs of abuse. People die while in them or they may get out, but got out too late, therefore still end up dying even though they were no longer in the relationship. You can’t control what others do, but you can control what you allow them to do to you!

People must STOP putting their lives in danger. Most are in love with the thought of being in love when it’s not love at all. Please stop making excuses for your significant others and start protecting and looking out for self. Please stop allowing your feelings and emotions to lead you into dangerous situations and bad relationships.

People need to do self assessments before entering into relationships. If you haven’t dealt with your past pains they will cause problems for your present and future. You will always have drama in your relationships because of the drama in you! If you are being led by feelings and emotions it will cause you big issues. Wrong ways of thinking will cause you issues. One of the greatest things a person can do for self is learn to love self. I guarantee you on top of a promise if you love yourself you will NOT allow people to do you any kind of way they choose. You will not fall for any ole anything that comes along.

A great indicator of how a person really feels about self is what they are allowing in their life. It’s the truth! People can talk a good talk, but the truth will always be revealed in the decisions and choices they make. As I’ve said many times before people fall in an imitation of love and think it’s the real deal, because in truth they don’t know what love is. Most times they don’t even love self. They fall in love with people who clearly show them they aren’t right for them. They fall in love with people they shouldn’t be with in the first place. They fall in love for all of the wrong reasons, the wrong ways, and with the wrong people. Then, on top of it they end up feeling trapped in these relationships by fear.

Fear is one of the biggest culprits keeping people in relationships and situations they shouldn’t be in. People don’t have the love, esteem, or confidence in self. They look for many things in others when they first need to have it in self. The lack thereof keeps people trapped in their wrong ways of thinking landing them into bad relationships and dependent on others. They end up used, abused in all ways, and oftentimes killed. Walking away can save you from unnecessary drama, sorrow, and pain. Those already carrying heavy hearts add to their own issues by taking on the issues of their significant others. Many can’t see this because they can’t see past their wrong ways of thinking, their own pains, emotions, and feelings until it’s too late.

Seeking Everything Other Than Change

Standard

This is the first evidence of disconnect. It is also evidence of a person who doesn’t love self or know who they are as an individual. Most people are focused on finding love or seeking something they think they want. They are blind or should I say oblivious to what they need. They move off of feelings and emotions due to their wrong ways of thinking. They are trapped by their own minds. Most are busy focusing on satisfying their wants moving from relationship to relationship doing the same things getting the same results failing to grasp why.

These types of individuals need to sit down somewhere and focus on self. Until a person makes peace with self and get self right they won’t ever live in peace with anyone else. This is one great reason many relationships fail. People are too busy trying to fix the other person when they need to fix self. They are focused on satisfying the other person and often place self on the back burner to do whatever they think it will take to make their relationship work.

No matter what a person does, says, how they look, what they have, who they are, etc, etc, it will NOT make someone love you. If you don’t love yourself, why do you think someone else will be so willing to love you? They may love what you do for them, but that’s totally different from loving you or being in love with you. Unfortunately many settle for this imitation of love and it is why many relationships are loveless. They get in relationships yet they feel alone and unhappy. This isn’t healthy for anyone!

People carry all of the woes from their pasts around like back packs. They keep stuffing junk in them as they maneuver through life. These things weigh them down, because instead of releasing and letting go they continue to carry their woes in and out of relationships coming out worse than when they started. They carry the burdens of their significant others, when truth is you can’t make anyone want to be with you or love you. You can’t fix a person, make them change, or save them. Individuals spend most of their lives trying to do this when they haven’t dealt with self.

When a person love self then self is who they will be very much aware of. They will guard their hearts and minds. They will be aware of potential problems and they will easily walk away from nonsense. They know they have control as to who they want to be with and therefore they won’t settle for someone simply because they feel something. They know the decision to be with someone goes beyond feelings, a person’s looks, status, and bank account.

When a person wears their heart on their sleeve they are moved by their emotions and feelings. It leads them into situations and relationships that are unhealthy. It further adds to the many issues individuals already have.

It’s up to each person what they choose in life. When people choose not to change then they can’t expect anything different than what they get in life. Stop looking for people to complete you when it’s only YOU who can perform that task in your life. You complete you by first loving self, forgiving self, and forgiving others, then moving on away from what has held you back. People waste much time seeking everything in others. They are seeking love, happiness, and a host of things not understanding it starts with self. Until they understand this, they will continue to live life as they always had; settling, chaotic, and unhappy.

World Full of Sex Crazed People

Standard

This blog is specifically about the topic at hand. If sex is number one to you; you need to check yourself! Seriously! It has caused many in this world loads of problems. If it is most important to you then it means you will do anything to get it and you will do it to whomever and whatever. Now some of you think this is crazy, but it isn’t and we are seeing every single day it is true!

Whatever controls you controls your life! Last week I heard in some part of GA a grown man sodomized a 3 month old and his actions put her in critical condition. Sick right? Then in court he acted as if he didn’t understand the charges against him. Okay, playing crazy now, but he had enough sense to wait until he was alone with the baby to hurt her. That tells me he has sense. He just nasty, sick, and evil. I’ve heard of happening before.

When I was in graduate school I had to see some of the worst things pertaining to sex. I had to learn about people encounters with animals and all types of craziness. People are lost and not even trying to find their way! They see or hear about others committing the same acts they know they too are committing. Many haven’t been brought out in the public yet, but one thing about it God sees and knows it all. They ALL will one day have to pay the price for their actions!

People don’t understand there are differences between intimacy, sex, and a loving sexual relationship with someone. There is NO WAY on earth it’s anything other than plain sex when it’s forced through rape, incest, coercion, or molestation. If you’re a person who is all about sex then you’re a person who will probably do anyone or anything, because it’s the act you’re after, period! Intimacy can be sexual in nature or just a plain close nurturing relationship with someone or even with a pet, but NOT sexual in nature; it’s simply a close bond or attachment. A loving sexual relationship is a relationship involving intercourse with someone you love. It has meaning and intent. It’s NOT simply about sex, it’s much more!

This world is full of sex crazed people. It all goes back to brokenness. EVERYTHING leads to brokenness. Until people figure this out, they will remain the same! Many people are lifetime sufferers of their past experiences. They have allowed it to determine their destiny when it don’t have to! I believe the ONLY people who aren’t capable of understanding they need to change are those who are mentally incapacitated to a degree of not comprehending anything. Everyone else can understand although they choose NOT too!

People are completely fixated on their own self gratification which causes them to be led by their flesh. Their distorted thoughts and feelings lead them to do any and everything. They can’t think past their feelings. When they are focused on what they want to satisfy their flesh it’s what they will seek until they get it. People take all types of unthinkable and foolish risk to get what they want.

This topic is NEVER going away as long as this world is filled with these types of people. They’ve existed forever and will until Jesus returns! If ONLY people would comprehend they do NOT have to be the way they are. They do have the option to choose to change. Instead of trying to change many NOT all; have chosen to follow in the same footsteps of those before them. They’ve embraced the same mess they were once subjected too. It has tainted them completely and yet they continue to submit to it. They become drunks, drug addicted, liars, angry, abusive, cheats, pedophiles, molesters, people committing incest, rapist, into bestiality, sex offenders, sex crazed and all types of sexual immorality.

Sex with a underage child is wrong! There is NO WAY to clean it up, water it down, or sugarcoat it. Sad how people see it happening all around the world, in their families, in organizations, etc, but they still too afraid to address the elephant in the room. People can make all the excuses in the world it is still wrong! Satanic rituals involving children are wrong! I don’t care if a person was once victim they should seek help if they need it and NOT victimize. An infant, toddler, and adolescent can’t defend for themselves and anyone sexually abusing them are weak pathetic individuals. If the crime can be proven anyone who abuses an infant, toddler, or adolescent shouldn’t be allowed a day in court. I feel this is one of our biggest problems in society. Why waste tax dollars on people doing this? If it is proven; anyone who sexually abuses a teenager doesn’t deserve a day in court. This is simply my opinion. If you do the crime shut up and do the time, period! For these people it is about sexual abuse whether it’s penetration or just fondling; they are trying to get some type of sexual satisfaction. Society says for rapist it’s not about sex. I believe it’s not about sexual intercourse for all rapist, but I believe it IS about sex for all. When it’s not about sexual intercourse it’s still about sex, because they are trying to project a feeling of pain, through sex.

There are those sitting in jail, those who NEED to go to jail, those who are still (sneaking, tipping, dodging, and preying on kids and adults). They will do anything under the sun to anyone and anything.

One reason marriages aren’t sacred for many is because of sexual immorality. The marriage is defiled. People don’t even realize it too comes from brokenness. People want to get into marriages carrying the same exact baggage. No marriage will EVER work this way! People getting into relationships carrying the same old baggage and then wonder why they are having so many issues. You get what you accept from others! These afflicting ways don’t discriminate. It relates to young, old, rich, poor, all races, etc. etc.

The minds of millions need to change, if they do their hearts and everything else will follow. People don’t want to change because they are familiar with the way they are even though it causes chaos and destruction in their lives AND in the lives of others. This world is full of perverted sick people who don’t understand the repercussions for their ways until it’s too late. Trying to hide and sneak does nothing in efforts towards healing and changing. It keeps people stuck in their sick minded ways doing the same sick things!

Real Love and Relationships

Standard

I can talk or write about this all day, people will still continue to get into bad unhealthy relationships. Many will stay in them and unfortunately some will die in them. My prayer is people learn to love self therefore they will never allow anyone to do to them anything they want. People treat you exactly how you’ve allowed. They always have and always will! Why? It’s because many of the people individuals choose to become involved with are broken too!

If you don’t love yourself you’re subject to get anything in your quest for love. I know people have all types of different views on love. However, if you don’t love yourself, then there’s no way you will understand what love is and what it isn’t. I find this is the biggest problems in relationships. I believe this is true, because many people get into relationships based on what lies within without even realizing it. What do I mean? I mean people who are toxic or tainted (broken) make all decisions and choices based on what is ailing them inside. They look for love in all of the wrong ways, wrong places, and with the wrong people merely because they don’t understand their needs and wants are different. Most people move off of what they want versus what they need.

Love is a lot of things, but it isn’t what most people think it is. Love is kind, understanding, patient, respectful, peaceful, sharing, communication, affection, long lasting, healthy etc. It is not hurtful, disrespect, controlling, abusive, demanding, all about sex, unhealthy, obsession, possession, being taken for granted, being used, etc. Sadly many people settle for what love isn’t versus what love is.

Getting into relationships with married people or with those already in relationships shows something is wrong within. Getting into relationships with people who are abusive in anyway shows something is wrong within. Getting into relationships trying to save or fix someone shows something is wrong within (you can’t fix or save anyone and vice versa) individual’s must want it for self! Getting into relationships based on what a person looks like, sex, or what they have shows something is wrong within. Getting forced into relationships out of pregnancy or because family and friends coerce you, shows something is wrong within. Getting into relationships because you can’t stay single shows something is wrong within. The inability to spend time with you without anyone else shows something is wrong within. Seeking security and happiness in someone else shows something is wrong within.

I can go on all day with examples. The bottom line is people need to start looking at self. Stop pointing the finger and blaming others for the life you choose to lead and the decisions and choices YOU make. People can’t take your power unless you give it and they can’t treat you any kind of way unless you allow it.

People must want to change. Those who don’t want change are those who are stuck in their wrong ways of thinking. They have allowed their past experiences to continue chaos and drama in their lives leading to a life of destruction. They can find peace nowhere, because they have none within. No one can change this for a person other than the individual his or herself!

This world is full of broken people who choose to remain broken. It’s a choice! As I’ve always stated and will continue to state “people willfully choose to stay the way they are when they have the option to change.” If you don’t move your feet you stay in the same place right? Life will keep on rolling, but you will remain stuck in the same mindset doing the same things and allowing the same things in your life.

No one will ever love you like you ONCE you learn to love yourself. Stop looking for something in someone else that you first need in yourself. People who continue to seek love from others will ALWAYS end up unhappy in unhealthy relationships. No relationship should be a constant struggle. There shouldn’t be drama and chaos all of the time, when there is SOMETHING IS WRONG! Get to know and love yourself before trying to get into a relationship. How do you expect to get to know and love someone else when you don’t know or love yourself? People choose unnecessary drama in life!