Ok, in saying that, I do NOT mean it dictates our future or present. It should not! However, what I am saying is exactly what I wrote “good or bad the past shapes us.” What I mean by this is what a person has endured in their past can have a grave affect on their rest of their lives depending on how it was perceived. A person can make good out of the bad or they can choose a life sentence of bad/negativity. We see it every single day! Many people don’t know how to cope so instead they lash out and project their pain on others through some form of abuse. Not all abuse is physical or sexual. Mental and emotional abuse can be just as devastating and debilitating.
There are a lot of good stories, but there are also a lot of bad stories. Anyone who chooses can make good from any bad situation. My focus is on helping people to overcome the negativity. Everything is based upon the mindset. How people think always affect how they feel and act. No one can change this but the individual.
I would be lying if I said the past doesn’t affect us, it does, but it doesn’t have to be in a negative way regardless of the negativity a person went through. The problem here is many people choose to hang on to the negativity versus moving on away from it. Everything each of us has gone through or will go through is a learning experience. I’ve always told you this! It teaches us what to do or what not to do! Experience is the greatest teacher IF people would choose to learn from it instead of using it as a life sentence of pain and negativity.
If you went through something painful as a child that’s very unfortunate, but my prayer is as a adult you understand you’re no longer a child. What started may have been bad, but through it a lesson is to be learned. If nothing else it is a lesson about people and how they can mistreat you. Just because a person is your mom, dad, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, cousin, grandparents, etc doesn’t mean they mean well by you. We assume so and we hope so, but it doesn’t mean they do or will. People regardless of who they are have their own demons and because they don’t deal with those demons they project their issues onto other people. They were probably victims at some point. Most times people who allow their pasts to wreak havoc in their lives will wreak havoc in the lives of other people. Sadly those other people are often family members sometimes not.
Any person who doesn’t deal with their past issues will live a life of lies and pretense. They will hide the truth because they know the truth is unacceptable and ugly. They KNOW IT! Therefore, they pretend to be something they are not this causes further dsyfunction. As long as a person does this they will never seek change as an option. They will always think as long as their pulling the wool over the eyes of people they are okay. No, this isn’t true! As long as a person pretend they will always live in negativity. It pools onto their children, family, friends, and others.
It is very sad when adults have children they bring into their cesspools ways of living, thinking, feeling, and acting. They taint their children with their toxicity often causing them mental, emotional, and physical harm. No child deserves this! That’s why this world is filled with broken people. People don’t choose to deal with their brokenness. Some people have the victim mentality for all of their lives. The cycle repeats itself.
This is why we see so much hatred, anger, homicide, suicide, depression, etc in this world, People have deep seated issues they refuse to deal with. Then on top of it they are searching for what’s lacking in their lives often latching on to someone as broken as they are. There are plenty people who are NOT coping well at all. Sometimes they end up murdering innocent people, killing themselves, committing road rage, fighting over significant others, cheating, being abusive, and a whole bunch of nonsense. They do these things, because they don’t know how to cope with the dysfunction in their lives. They keep on living and repeating the same cycles not even trying to change. It’s very sad!
Many people will say “you think I choose to be this way!” I will say absolutely yes! Why? It’s because it’s the truth. No one has to accept negativity in their lives. No one has to continue to cause chaos in their lives. No has to be filled with hate and anger. I can list a whole page of things. The moral is no one has to continue a life of negative ways of thinking, acting, and feeling. All of it comes from what lies within you! No matter who help plant the seeds it is the individual who cultivates them to go. Until individuals deal with the root of their problems those problems will continue to exist. Individuals often have their own problems and at the same time will try to deal with the dysfunction of the people they allow into their lives. It never works!
The past is exactly that! You can’t go back to it, but you can relive it in your memories. Our thoughts are formed by memories of something. The power you give them is how they are bound to control your life. A lot of people live as if they are still going through it. They are mad, angry, spiteful, filled with hatred, bitter, full of malice, holding grudges, etc for a life time when the experience is over. They have given complete power and control to their memories allowing their thoughts/ways of thinking to keep them held captive. They are held captive to their ways of thinking. They have formed completely negative mindsets which has affected all parts of their lives. No one on earth has to live in such a negative mindset. It’s up to you, the individual to decide you need to change.
Back to the title at hand. I believe without a doubt good or bad our pasts shape our lives. There’s not one person alive who live a negative dysfunctional life or a life of pretense who hasn’t been affected in a negative way by what they have gone through. They do not have to accept this negativity! Your life, my life, our lives are ours to live. In the beginning many others were involved in some way, regardless of what or who, the individual (you) has the power to overcome and be who you choose to become. Whether good or bad, that choice is the individual’s to make. Unfortunately, many choose a life time of discord when they don’t have to!
My prayer is people stop using their pasts as a crutch. Stop making excuses and stop holding on to negativity. Decide to live a beautiful peaceful life. Troubles will come and go for us all at some point, but nothing is to break us. If we learn from our experiences it will make us into stronger better people. It’s a choice. Even more importantly learn to love self. You can’t be of any good to anyone else in your life until you first learn to love self. Negativity has no benefit for the mind, body, or soul!