Sexual Predators Are From All Walks of Life

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This is long, but I feel it needs to be written. It saddens my heart how people want to tip toe around this subject. Many people don’t want to address this subject. I will!! I know a lot of people won’t like it, that’s okay too! I’m tired of hearing about these terrible acts committed on children. People need to be accountable and they need to deal with their demons.

We all come in this world as babies who develop into adults and if we live; on into old age. Our upbringings differ, yet many will and have dealt with similar issues. If a person doesn’t deal with the things affecting them those things will follow and affect them throughout the rest of their lives. People can choose to change or remain the same. I know things can affect us which can be life altering; however, it doesn’t mean we have to turn into negative people! For those who’ve dealt with sexual abuse it doesn’t give ANYONE a free ticket to victimize others. No matter what; what we choose to become is a personal choice! Not every person who sexually victimize others were victims of sexual abuse. I believe most have been, but not all. Some people commit the act due to other negative things they’ve encountered when they were young causing them to adopt the negative behaviors.

We are supposed to protect our children, but the fact of the matter many parents fail to. Some parents do it intentionally, while some don’t. What I mean is this. There are many parents who allow terrible things to happen to their children, because of the people they are in relationships with. They are led by their feelings and emotions and because of it, are blind to reality. They put their children in harms way. Some children are molested, raped, physically abused, emotionally abused, verbally abused, and even killed, because parents are more concerned about self gratification then for their children who depend on them. Some of these parents sell their children, they allow all types of abuse, they themselves partake in acts against their children. They do it, because they are in what they think is love and they think it’s more important than the welfare and wellbeing of their children! They’ll do anything to be with the person they think they love, even if it means causing harm to their children. These people (the perps and the parent/s) are individuals who have baggage they’ve lugged around for a lifetime. They’ve allowed it to affect many facets of their lives.

Parents who unintentionally fail their children are those who send their kids unknowingly into the hands of predators. They are parents who don’t suspect others to do something so vile. Let me tell you, it can be ANYONE! Friends do it, friends of the family do it, family members do it (sisters, brothers, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents), parents do it, teachers, preachers, police officers, doctors, nurses, politicians, celebrities, NO ONE is exempt etc. They come from all walks of life!

Parents please talk to your children and educate them on this topic. Let your children feel comfortable with talking and let them know it’s okay to tell. Let them know the tricks people can subtly play to groom them (playfully playing around and touching them in places they shouldn’t acting as if it’s a game, doing nice things for them, setting them up where they can be alone with them acting as if they are looking out for them, making them think they’re friends, etc). Let them know the things people will tell them to keep them quiet (verbal threats to blame them, threats of harm to them or someone else, they will tell them things to twist it and make it seems as if the child will be in trouble, telling them no one will believe the child, telling them it’s their special secret and for them not to tell anyone, making the child believe they will be taken from their parents, etc). Let them know they should ALWAYS tell, no matter what the person says and no matter who the person is! Let them know it is NOT their fault!

Parents must open their eyes! Stop ignoring signs pretending they don’t exist. It does nothing to protect your children. Stop making children feel they are to blame. Stop doubting your child because of who they are accusing. It does nothing to help your children. It causes trust issues in your child; making them feel unsafe and unprotected. It makes them afraid to talk/tell. Any inappropriate behavior is dead wrong and should never ever be tolerated!

Women need to be careful the interaction between their children and whomever they are with. A lot of what’s going on is inappropriate. Stop leaving your children with those nasty men who cause them harm. Stop pretending you don’t see it! There are always signs! Predators are manipulative, cunning, and they do things in subtle ways to gain the trust of their intended victims. The whole while they are grooming them to get what they want. Most times people don’t suspect them because they are good at manipulation. They can be very believable! It’s a trick of manipulation, lies, and deception. They blend in and they do what they have to in order to get what they want and it’s premediated! It is something they’ve mulled over many times.

Our world is filled with broken souls, because of neglect, lack of nurturing, lack of love, lack of protection, lack of parenting, physical-sexual-emotional abuse, etc. etc. It happens in their homes or homes of friends or family, in relationships, in church, in schools, at the doctors, and many other places. People commit these crimes because at some point many were victims of sexual abuse. Still, it’s NO excuse to continue this terrible vicious cycle. It’s the last thing a person should do, yet many will victimize.

Talk to your children and ask questions. I don’t care who the other person/people are; ask questions! Stop thinking certain people are okay. Just because you love a person doesn’t mean they mean you or your children any good. A lot of times men want to get to women to get to their children. Women have to open their eyes to this truth! I’m sure some women do the same.

I’m not saying all men are this way, but some are. It’s pretty clear; if women will accept the truth as it presents itself. Instead many will downplay things and some will even blame the child. Women who do this have obvious issues and because they fail to acknowledge and face those issues, it leads to a lifetime of problems for them, spilling into the lives of their children.

Never love someone to the point of ignoring what is happening to your child. Never love someone to the point your child’s safety and welfare are neglected. Never love someone to the point you’re upset with your child over the inappropriate actions of a grown person. Never love the thought of being in love to a point you’re not being a parent to your child. Stop making it all about you and what you want. You should be the protector of your child!

Some people get on social media and meet people who end up being abusive to them and their children. Some have criminal histories involving sex offenses, yet some women allow them into their lives. Some have histories of physical abuse, yet some women will still allow them into their lives. No one all of a sudden changes into a monster, they were already that way! People choose to ignore the truth! Unfortunately many children have died because of it and many are abused in all types of ways.

Any adult male or female who touches a child inappropriately or have thoughts of it are completely sick minded. It’s even worst when the perpetrator is the parent. It happens a lot in families, the cycle keeps going. It’s sad!! There are too many men and women giving it away for free for individuals to touch babies and underage children. More than likely people who offend were sexually abused in some form as a child. Instead of dealing with it and healing from it many people continue the cycle of abuse. Although once victims these very people now choose to victimize. These perps do to children the very things done to them. It’s a sad disgusting shame!! I sympathize with anyone who was sexually abused but it is NOT a reason to do it to someone else. It’s an excuse, one that doesn’t work!

Sexual predators comes in all forms. They are of all races, genders, ages, populations, cultures, etc. They are from all calibers of life from what society deems as the highest status on down to the lowest. Many have lots of money and others don’t. Some have power, status, titles and others don’t. They are embedded in EVERY professional position existing on this earth! Sad, isn’t it? Yes it is, but it’s the truth! They will get into situations and positions where they know they will have access to the children they want to victimize. They do it intentionally. They wiggle their nasty ways into the lives of children until they are comfortable enough to do to them what they intend to do. It is premeditated!

It’s sad to say, but people have to be careful about putting their children’s pictures on social media. I have seen pictures that are borderline inappropriate which is something predators love to see. There are a lot of sick individuals who solicit pictures of infants and young children. It is the sick minded people in the world today. They make it unsafe for our children. Predators are on the prowl twenty four hours a day, everyday! Be careful. Also, know what your children are doing on the internet and who they are engaging with! Please stop putting pictures out there for these predators to see. Many of these people will get with you, to get next to your children. It is a fact! I have sat across from both perps and victims the stories are the same or similar, but it’s just different faces telling the stories. People need help with their demons. If they don’t face them, they give power to them!

Society says sexual predators can’t be reformed. Personally I don’t believe it. This is why I’ve worked with both. These people need help as well as the victims. I believe ANY person can stop doing ANYTHING if they choose to. It is up to the individual. People aren’t born that way, they learn to be that way. Anything learned can be unlearned. The more people submerge themselves into negative thoughts the more power they give to those thoughts. Thoughts causes the feelings, which influences the actions. These types of people know when their thoughts, feelings, and actions are wrong, yet they still follow through with them. They lie and connive their ways into the lives of the children. They do it for so long they get comfortable with what they have become(a monster)!

Lastly, sexual predators don’t always only abuse children they also try it on grown men and women. There’s nothing in this world worth a person allowing his or herself to be abused to obtain ANYTHING (money, promotion, status, title, material things, etc). Remember, YOU teach people how to treat you and they will treat you exactly how you allow (this is strictly pertaining to grown folks). I don’t care who the perpetrator is or their position! If someone is inappropriate don’t go along with it and don’t keep your mouth shut about it. Nip it in the bud asap! If you don’t you’re letting a sexual predator continue their cycle of abuse; which means the next time a child could be the target.

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Should You Stay or Should You Go

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The decision lies with you, however you must be able to make it with a clear head. You must be able to deal with your situation without continuing to allow your heart to lead, this is the ONLY way you will make the right choice. Allowing your heart to lead got you where you’re at and dealing with what you’re dealing with.

Far too many people get into and stay into dysfunctional relationships. I’ve written many times about how people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and stay in them for all of the wrong reasons. Many people are too busy seeking love in all of the wrong ways and the wrong places. They lose focus trying to find something in others that they themselves don’t have. They are seeking love in others when they don’t love themselves. Some of you may not agree, but it’s true. When a person REALLY love his or herself, they will be careful the types of people they become involved with or allow into their lives. They will NOT allow anyone to treat them any ole kind of way.

People continue to get into bad relationships, relationships with clear signs the relationships are not good for them. Yet they continue on with these relationships because as I’ve always said, “they are allowing their hearts to lead.”

Do you stay in a relationship that has drained you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physical? If you’re at that point, I believe you’ve stayed too long.

Do you stay in a relationship where you’re constantly crying, sad, miserable, and lonely? If you do, you will stay that way until you either decide to work on it or you decide to move on. Remember, just because you want to work at it, doesn’t mean the person you’re with do. It won’t ever be a healthy relationship if you’re not on the same accord.

Do you stay in a relationship where you’re constantly disrespected and abused? I think NOT! This isn’t love. Too many people stay in these types of relationships until they get to a point where they’re too afraid to leave. If this is the case, YOU’VE STAYED TOO LONG. You should NEVER be afraid of the person you’re with. Unfortunately some never leave because they die in their unhealthy and abusive relationships.

Do you stay in a relationship where you’re constantly cheated on? You’re not the reason a cheater cheats. It doesn’t matter how you look, what you have, etc; a cheater will cheat. When a person is content with someone constantly cheating on them they’re a person with issues that has caused them to devalue his or herself. You’ve taught your significant other how to treat you. No matter how much you love someone it won’t make them love you, it won’t keep them with you, and it certainly won’t keep them from cheating.

Do you stay when there’s no affection between the two of you, you’re sleeping separate NOT because of health reasons but because your significant other doesn’t want to be near you, and they clearly don’t want to be with you? It’s unbelievable the amount of people who are in these types of relationships. They are basically roommates. This is very sad.

I can add many more scenario’s, but the bottom line of it all is to stay or leave is a decision ONLY you should make. I’ve written many posts saying that people treat you EXACTLY how you allow them too. If you let someone treat you any way they choose; then it’s EXACTLY what they will do. Point blank!!!

People need to get out of their feelings and face their situations with honesty and truth. Relationships normally end how they started, but oftentimes at the other end of the spectrum. For example if the relationship is built on sex, sex is the last thing either person will want. Unless a person has matured into a mature adult individuals will continue to get into relationships based on feelings of their hearts. These relationships are doomed from the start. These types of relationships either won’t last or will end up dysfunctional.

Despite of a person’s feelings towards his or her significant other, it takes both individuals to develop a healthy relationship. It doesn’t matter who it is; a person will or can ONLY do to you what you have allowed. If you allow a person to treat you bad for so long they will become inconsiderate and complacent. They will take you for granted. If it’s okay with you how you’re treated, then this is EXACTLY why you’re treated the way you are. If it’s okay with you, it’s okay with them. Everyone together isn’t meant to be together and many find themselves trying to make something work when it isn’t meant to be. Get out of your feelings and face the truth!

Love and Abuse Don’t Go Together

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I felt a great need to write about this subject once again. In the past few days women have been killed by the men who supposedly love them. Today it happened about 15 minutes away from the city I live in; both were only twenty years old, she died and he tried to kill himself. This post is for both men and women. Although we don’t hear about it as much, men get abused as well.

If you accept anyone in your life who is abusive SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU! I’m not here to condemn or judge, I’m here to help someone. If you allow any type of abuse SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU! Please seek help! Too many people are dying at the hands of those who supposedly love them. This isn’t love!!!! Harming or killing you is the last thing someone who truly loves you would imagine or even attempt doing.

People who show love by controlling you in any way has an issue and those who allow these types of people in their lives has issues as well. Love isn’t controlling, demanding, or abusive in any shape, form, or fashion.

If you get with someone and they are abusive, you need to exit the relationship from the start. Do not go any further. Don’t play with fire, because not only can you get burned(metaphorically speaking), you can end up dead!!!

Stop allowing abusive men and women into your lives. You think it’s special that they’re bad boys or bad girls, etc until they turn that same energy on you. Look at your situations and the people you’re involved with; and truly examine yourselves. If you’re being abused in any form you need to get out. It’s not love, it’s not funny, and is sure isn’t cute. You need to get out!!

It’s not love when you’re controlled or when you’re afraid of who you’re with. If that’s you, you’re in a bad situation and you’ve been there too long. Never give anyone the opportunity to think abusing you is okay; it’s not!

Abuse isn’t just physical, it comes in many forms such as mental, emotional, verbal, sexual, controlling, isolation from others, overbearing (they appear to be protecting, but they’re actually controlling and dominating you).

When a person gets involved with an abusive individual not only do they put themselves in harms way, they put those around them in harms way. A person can only fool you for so long. An abusive person will ALWAYS show who they really are, people miss it because they feel too much with their hearts until they dismiss signs of a potential problem. The signs are ALWAYS there! People have the tendency to see it when they’ve gotten in too deep and by then for many it’s too late. Your lives are precious and you only get one. No one has the right to abuse you, but too many of you give abusers the green light to do so.

The first mistake people make is going forth in relationships with those who have abusive tendencies. The second mistake people make is not walking away at the very first sign of abuse. The third mistake people make is accepting “I’m sorry” after the first incident. Stop giving another opportunity for something else to occur; when you do this you have given up your power and the abuser knows it. They know EXACTLY how to treat you, because you taught them how to treat you!

If you’re the type of person who is eager to love and have the willingness to take anything in the name of what you think is love; then anything is what you will get and at any time. The person you’re with will treat you exactly how they want too, because they know you will take it. They will manipulate you, because they know what it takes to keep you where you are.

It’s sad seeing women with their faces slashed, bodies burned, because they got gasoline threw on them, beat up publically; it’s all so very sad! It never ever should get to this point. Don’t allow your wrong way of thinking and loving put you in this situation.

Stop making excuses for staying, NONE of the excuses are worth it. People make excuses to stay, because they’ve lost control and power of their own lives. Why? It’s because they freely gave it from the start. People seek love in all of the wrong places and in all of the wrong ways. Why do you think this is so? I believe it’s because people are tainted from their pasts. Many seek love because they never received it as a child, etc. There are a million reasons fueling these types of behaviors (for both the abuser and the abused). The bottom line is people have to take responsibility for their lives regardless of what they’ve gone through. Stop blaming the way you are on other people or other things, because you have a choice to be exactly how you are. We all have the power to change if we choose too!!!

Not all people lose their physical lives, but many lose themselves to anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, low esteem, etc. etc. They lose themselves because they gave all they had to loving someone who wasn’t deserving (in the name of love). They gave their power to someone who took it.

Abusers comes in all shape, sizes, and colors. Regardless of who they are or what they do; abuse is abuse and abusers always show who they are in some way or another. Those who are are caught up in what they think is love will be led by their hearts into bad, unsafe, unhealthy, and draining relationships.

Learn how to build self esteem and confidence in yourselves, this way you won’t seek false love and security in someone else. If you don’t know where to begin there are many resources for help online, professional counseling, local social work services and community activities. Seek help!!! Learn to love you!!! If you do this you won’t EVER allow ANYONE to come along and mistreat you in any way. People treat you EXACTLY how you allow.

THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN DON’T BE LEAD BY YOUR EMOTIONS

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Yes, I’m at it again. I pray that people get it. If you read my posts and you know someone who can benefit from them, please tell someone about them. I am addressing several situations, because we hear about them so much, but what I am going into detail about can be applied in any situation.

Too many people are getting into serious trouble because they are allowing what they’re thinking and feeling to lead them into bad situations. I promise you if you take the time to think about situations you’re involved in with CLARITY you will STOP making bad decisions.

Many across the world are finding themselves in bad situations due to those bad decisions. Emotions are powerful. They come from our thoughts and they can cause debilitation if we allow. If you ponder and ponder over something, you will keep whatever the thought is; fresh in your mind. You will get anxiety and other issues because of your negative ways of thinking. When thoughts are negative or plain WRONG this is when you should resist those thoughts. Don’t allow the feeling you’re experiencing to lead you in the wrong direction. You resist them by being responsible, honest, and straightforward with yourself. If it’s wrong, you must accept that it is wrong and you must think of the consequences from those negative ways of thinking and feeling. If you keep thinking on whatever it is, you will probably eventually act upon those thoughts and feelings.

People need to get a tight grip on reality and stop making senseless decisions based on their emotions. Stop getting into unhealthy and dead end relationships when the truth is right in your face. Too many people get into abusive (all forms) relationships and then wonder how they got there. You got there by ignoring the signs that presented before you. You were filled with emotions about the person and because of it you ignored the truth. People believe because of what THEY feel for the other person the person will feel the same about them and change. This is NOT the truth! Face reality and deal with it, make decisions that are good for you. Know your value and self worth, if you don’t you will forever make bad decisions.

The same goes for people who get caught up in sexual relationships with underage individuals or child porn. They have allowed their thoughts and feelings to cause them to act on things they KNOW are wrong. Although wrong, they keep allowing their twisted distorted ways of thinking to get them into deep trouble. People get into this warped sense of thinking, because a lot of times they were sexually abused. Regardless no one should EVER do to another person what was done to them. Learn positive ways to deal with those thoughts and feelings. You can’t do this by trying to hide them. You can pretend and try to hide those thoughts and emotions from other people, but you can’t pretend or hide them from yourself. If you have these ways of thinking and feeling, and you haven’t properly dealt with those issues you will eventually act on what you’re thinking and feeling.

The same goes for people who are contemplating hurting themselves, other people, or perhaps both. These people didn’t think about it one time, they have been pondering over those thoughts and they have been feeling some kind of way about it for a long time UNTIL they were consumed and overtaken by those negative thoughts and feeling. They end up doing the unthinkable. Again, this is what happens when people allow those negative thoughts to run free in their minds. They develop all of the emotions from that negative way of thinking.

Anyone and everyone who has the mental ability to understand or comprehend can change their ways of thinking about any situation by removing their self from it mentally. What do I mean? It’s not really anything hard to do, but people make it hard, because they don’t want to give up their old ways. The only way to grow is by applying it to your life so that change can occur. To remove yourself mentally is to take notice and ownership of those negative thoughts. You can’t deal with ANYTHING by pretending NOTHING is wrong. You must take ownership and responsibility of your negative thoughts. I don’t care what happened to you or who did it to you. You MUST take responsibility and ownership of your own life and the negativity you’ve come to embrace.

Once you take true ownership, you can then begin to think with a conscious determination. What I mean by that is; you must become fully aware of what you’re thinking. You must realize in order to foster change that you have to accept the fact that the thoughts are negative. For the purposes of this post, I’m talking strictly about how you feel about someone or something. Example; If you’re feeling all jolly about a man or woman who’s physically abusing you or mistreating you in ANY way, this is a negative way of thinking. You must accept it as such and not be lead by your emotions. If you do you’ll see clearer and have the sense, strength, and ability to move away from people and things that aren’t good for you.

The more you are aware the more you will alter your way of thinking by replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones and ultimately doing the right things. Don’t fool yourself in thinking because YOU feel good about something that it’s right. This is a distorted way of thinking, ESPECIALLY when what you’re thinking is wrong. This happens when people are going off of their emotions. Accept the truth, take ownership and responsibility that your thoughts and feeling have blocked your ability to think rationally. By doing this you’ll become conscious of those thoughts so you can bring about change.

I guarantee anyone; the more you are aware of your negative thoughts and begin to implement positive self-development the negativity will change into positivity. The only way you can do this is by saying no to yourself and embracing the positive thoughts (every time). You MUST be determined, dedicated, and most importantly CONSISTENT. The more you do this, the stronger you will become and you will begin to see a change in the way you’ve been thinking and allowing your emotions to control you.

I won’t lie and say that you won’t become frustrated, but know that anytime you’re trying to change something this will happen, because you’re implementing something new into your life. This form of self-development and growth will change you into a better, stronger person. It’s like anything else you want to learn, the more you practice this; the stronger you will become.

It doesn’t matter what happened, when it happened, who was involved in shaping and forming your negative ways of thinking, etc. Change ONLY starts with you! If you want to do it you can and you will. If not, you will still live in a world of lies and deceit. You will continue to lie, hide, pretend, etc until you’re caught in the act and the world has found you out or until you’re in a bad situation, and/or until you’re dead (mentally, spiritually, and oftentimes physically). Those are the outcomes of acting on negative thoughts and feelings. They make you feel good when they are not good. No one can be truly positive by living such a negative life.

My prayer is that you choose to change!!!

INFLICTING THE SAME PAIN YOU ONCE ENDURED

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INFLICTING THE SAME PAIN YOU ONCE ENDURED. Does it seem logical or rational to do this? I don’t think so! I know some of you may not like what I’ve written, but people need to know and understand the truth. One problem with many individuals is they don’t like hearing or reading the truth and this is why many don’t take the initiative to change. They continue to hide behind the truth until the truth reveals itself.

I know firsthand how people who’ve gone through horrific ordeals oftentimes use their experiences as a crutch and excuse to do the exact same things they endured to someone else. Why would this type of person think it’s okay to inflict the same pains they’ve experienced on someone else when they know how they felt when they went through it? It’s a selfish thing to do.

SEXUAL ABUSE

Most people struggles with what happened to them. During  experiences involving sexual abuse; many people feel guilt, shame, embarrassment, confusion, etc. They end up feeling confused about their own sexualities. They are straddled the fence  concerning their sexual preferences and identities, and because of it they feel guilty. They are confused about the feelings they experienced while going through their ordeals (especially when it felt good, although they thought it was wrong). Many are too young at the time to know how to deal with it (the feelings of it being right or wrong). It has lead many to choose the same sex partner in life (I’ve had many people tell me this). The worst part of it all is many who were sexually abused have gone on to abuse others. I think it’s for several reasons and the main one is they never really dealt with what they experienced (a lot of people hid it for years and some are still hiding it). They never addressed the thoughts and feelings they had and because of it they have a lot of things held inside. They try to hide behind the truth by holding it in, but the truth comes out in one’s actions even if words aren’t spoken. Oftentimes it when they have inflicted the same type of pain onto someone else. This is further tragedy.

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Again, I believe when children experience this form of abuse at an early age and never receive help coping; many of them go on to inflict the same pains on their children or the children of others. They become angry adults, withdrawn, depressed, etc. etc. Many try to hide it, but it’s very difficult to do so and ultimately it shows in their actions.

PARENTING

The most important time between parents and their children are the weeks and months after birth and their toddler years. Little children soak up all they experience (good or bad). It’s important for children to receive the necessary nurturing and bonding they need to develop properly. When they don’t receive this it affects them. Parents teach their children important lessons as they grow. Unfortunately sometimes they aren’t good ones. Many children see and experience things no child ever should. They turn into the many adults who are our friends, family, and neighbors; who are having a hard time coping in life, because of issues of their pasts.

I could go on and on listing many different topics. The moral of it all is that people choose the decisions they make no matter what experiences they’ve dealt with in life. We all have a story or stories we could tell. It doesn’t matter how horrific, it is up to each person as to how they will allow their experiences to affect them.

I’m not trying to say that every person who went through sexual trauma or any other bad situations as a child won’t be able to cope, because that wouldn’t be true. However, there are many individuals who can’t. It has greatly affected their lives and it shows in the decisions they make. I pray that people get help with their issues and that they take into account how their experiences affected them and STOP inflicting the same things they went through onto others.

Blessings!!

SEEING THE TRUTH BEYOND YOUR DESIRES

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I guess you’re wondering what the title means? I know I’ve gone over this many times and because I continue to hear of foolishness people do or continue to deal with; I wanted to revisit this subject. I’ve always said and will continue to say a person will treat you exactly how you allow. You teach a person exactly how to treat you. If you freely take it they will dish it out (no matter what it is).

If people would only consider what I’m writing it could change someone’s life. The only reason it won’t is because a person doesn’t want to give up what they THINK they have or give up what they THINK is a good thing. It’s not, but they can’t see past the fog.

People can’t see past the fog, because they’re allowing what they’re feeling to lead and control their actions. What I mean is this; people are going strictly off of their distorted thoughts and feelings. They act or re-act solely to these things. The reason people are in this distorted mode of thinking is because of who they really are; which lies inside of us all and always shows through our actions.

The junk inside is why they act the way they do. It is why people hold on to significant others who have let them go. It’s why people hold on to significant others who abuse them. It is why people hold on to significant others who are messed up, but they’re trying to save and oftentimes end up losing control of themselves in the midst of it all. It is why people take, take, and take from others only to be defeated, cheated, and mistreated. It is why people hold on to significant others who willfully bring nothing to their relationships (only sex), often they don’t contribute in any other way. It is why people would rather be with some man or woman rather than no one at all.

I can go on and on, but I hope you get what I’m trying to say. You must look past the fog. The truths of other people most times are presented to us, but if we’re in bad places in our lives we miss the truth staring us in the face. It happens because most people are messed up inside and the truth of the matter is they’re so focused on trying to find happiness they can’t see past the fog. It’s about receiving the feelings of love they’re seeking. People put themselves through foolishness, torture, unforgiveable situations in order to receive something they desire (love). Again, when people endure these types of things it’s because they are messed up inside and instead of going off of the truth they are caught up by their own misguided and messed up emotions.

Our emotions come from the thoughts we have about things. You think about it and then you feel something behind the thought/thoughts. Then; next follows the action or reactions to those thoughts and feelings. Most people don’t understand this is what’s going on, because they’re only focused on seeking the gratification they desire and they will endure anything to get it. The ONLY problem here is they’re NOT receiving what they truly desire, but they can’t see this truth, because they can’t see past the desires of their hearts. Unfortunately this leads to undesirable and oftentimes tragic endings.

There’s no way a person can have and hold a healthy relationship or even choose the person best for them when they’re all messed up inside. Who they are is someone they’re always trying to either hide or not face at all. People don’t want to show the ugliness inside. They don’t want to show how vulnerable they are. They don’t want to show how sad, lonely, and confused they are. They don’t want to show the truth for fear of what others will think. Instead without realizing it, the truth of who people really are always seeps out and shows in the decisions they make and the actions they take.

WHEN WILL YOU LEARN

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God is first in my life, but unfortunately many don’t believe in Him and unfortunately many claim they have a relationship with Him, yet the way they live their lives tells the true story. Because many don’t believe and because many are straddling the fence, it is the reason I am writing this post. It’s for anyone who can relate or no someone who can relate.

I don’t care what you say or do some people will not make a true change until they are ready. Sometimes it’s painstakingly disheartening when no matter what people learn they will go right out and step in the same pile or a different pile of poo (Metaphorically speaking). People want what they want regardless the pain and suffering it brings. This is the mind of an immature person (spiritually and mentally).

People are constantly signing up for abusive relationships  and are ending up hurt or dead. Yes signing up means getting into them of freewill despite the signs of abuse. Then what gets me is if they survive but are maimed they’re considered as very strong and brave because they tell their stories. No, they should have been brave and told their stories long ago and got out. Senseless, because it NEVER had to get to that point. Love isn’t blind people are and because people are blind to the truth they endure things they never ever should have gone through. The signs are always present in some form or another. Over and over we all have seen both men and women killed by those they are in relationships with. The people who did the hurting or killing didn’t wake up one day and decided to kill or hurt their significant others they always had the tendencies to abuse, but their significant others because of the feelings of their hearts ignored them or simply let the signs pass them by. Instead of getting out before things get too far out of hand, they stay and not only put their own lives in jeopardy, they put others around them in jeopardy as well. We all have heard about other family members and friends being killed or hurt because they’re a part of the circle. Yet no matter how much people see it firsthand, hear about it, see it on TV, or read about in magazines; people are still getting into these types of relationships. (Young and old). Love isn’t abusive in any way.

People are constantly getting into marriages and ending up completely miserable and unhappy, because they didn’t want to get married in the first place. Stop marrying people for the wrong reasons. Stop marrying because of looks, material things, what a person have, because you’re being pressured by (the bride, groom, family, friends, etc), and stop marrying because of a baby. Stop this ignorance, nothing will keep you together but loving one another and being in love. Then you have those who marry knowing that the other person does things they don’t approve of, knowing they’re unevenly yoked, knowing the person is a player, knowing the person can’t stand their parents, knowing they don’t like kids (yet you have kids-what sense does it make), knowing the person love to party a lot but you don’t, knowing there’s plenty of momma and daddy drama, knowing there are all kinds of baggage coming with him or her, and all sorts of foolishness. You marry because you think they will change or you think you can change them. MOST TIMES THEY DON’T! You can’t change anyone but yourself. It’s foolish to think otherwise. Grow up, stop it! You’re causing your own unhappiness.

People are constantly getting into relationships with individuals who are already in relationships, thinking you’re special when in fact you are not that special. To the person you’re cheating with it’s all about him or her and not really about the one they’re cheating with or their significant other. It’s about the individual and what they want. As long as they can get what they want from the both of you they will. Stop allowing a person to play you for a fool. No matter what you’re told; when you know they’re already in a relationship that should be enough to send you on your way. It is plain irresponsible and stupid for you to go along with it. You will only end up in some drama. Stop this nonsense.

People are constantly getting into relationships trying to save people. You meet him or her and they have all kinds of issues such as past drama that has them dysfunctional, drug or alcohol issues, ex cons or those who are plain lazy and aren’t trying to do better, people who have a history of violence, sex offenders, etc. etc. You meet these people and then you fall in what you think is love; UNTIL you end up lost, confused, depressed, trapped, riddled with anxiety and depression, because of all the stress you’re surrounded by on a daily basis. Some people end up so lost they would rather die because they feel it’s their only way out. Why? It’s because they get into relationships trying to save the person they’re with. You can’t do it. I keep telling people a person will straighten up for a while to get you, once they have you if the change wasn’t sincere they will go back to who they really are. Back to the way they were when you met them and how you accepted them. No ones to blame but yourself. What I’m saying is you’re no super hero. You can’t save anyone but yourself, but you can definitely lose your peace of mind trying to save someone you think you love. When people change and it lasts they do it because they really wanted too.

People are still having unprotected sex despite the many venereal diseases are out there (genital warts, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts, AIDS, HIV, etc. It’s no game but many are playing Russian roulette with their lives. They don’t take notice until they have something they can’t get rid of or a person they can’t get rid of. They want to kill the person who gave them the disease, but quickly forget they freely participated in the act. When you make these bad decisions unfortunately you get what you get and often it’s not what you really wanted. People are still jumping into bed with this and that person and then using abortions as a form of contraception when the woman becomes pregnant. Anytime you have sex you risk the possibility of anything too include soul tied attachments.

I am going to keep talking about these things and praying someone gets it. Too many put their happiness in the hands of already unhappy people, because they feel they love the person when in fact most times they don’t really know the person, know his or herself, or know anything about love. When individuals continue to do this, it’s a clear sign they too are unhappy.

This wasn’t written to spare feelings and thoughts. It’s written to share the truth. Everyday people are finding themselves in tough situations. Unfortunately they are situations they didn’t ever have to be in. Forget about the people you’re with (they’re only doing to you what you allow). Look at yourself and understand the problem starts with you. Why? Because of the decisions you continue to make. You can’t blame someone else for a decision you made (getting into mess or staying in mess). By continuing to get into the same type of situations with the same person or different people IT IS YOU that you must fix! It’s time to step back and work on you before you take another step forward. I pray blessings to you and you!!