Start Looking at Yourself

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Many people in this world completely give their power to the one’s they are in relationships with. Unless a person has matured and become wiser they will put their feelings for who they are with above what’s good for self.

Have you ever seen a show called “Hustle and Soul” it’s about the Brooklyn Pink Tea Cup restaurant. Fake or real this is a perfect example of how a person completely gives away their power. It was so ridiculous to me I couldn’t watch it. Sadly there are many in this world in these types of relationships. You are treated exactly how you allow!

No matter how much a person says they love you, their actions will speak volumes. Sometimes people fake it to get what they want out of you. When in relationships with people who really don’t want you they will oftentimes be in a relationship with someone else (married or causal relationship). They will tell you they love or care about you while telling the other person the same thing. You end up acting foolish over someone who isn’t worth your time. Yet, people stay in these unhealthy relationships. Those who do, it clearly shows they have things they definitely need to change about self.

If a person is constantly taking from you, something is up. If a person is always MIA (missing in action), something is up. If a person can’t spend time with you, because they always have to do something; something is up. When a person is always on their phone even when you’re around, something is up. When a person never does anything for you; something is up. If a person never invites you over to their place, but they are always at yours; something is up. If a person never invites you to meet friends or family; something is up. If a person enjoys you while you’re on the inside, but never wants to be seen with you on the outside; something is up. If a person is available in the daytime, but at night they can’t communicate; something is up. If a person sit back and wait for you to come to their beckoning call; something is up and it’s a set up. They are showing you exactly how they will treat you. If a person has someone else and is trying to get with you too; you should love yourself enough not to get into this type of relationship. This person is showing you what they are about. This is going to bring nothing other than drama into your life. I can go on and on and on, because there are many signs people fail to acknowledge.

In some relationships people are very blind by their feelings to the point of being abused by the ones’ they love because they accept any and everything from those individuals. Many people don’t nip things in the bud; and before they know it they are in deep. They are afraid to leave for many reasons; the most poplar are (fearful of physical abuse or fearful of losing whatever security they think they have). First of all you should never allow abuse in any form and you shouldn’t ever stay, period! It is not cute, love, or a game! Second, you should obtain your own security so you never fear losing someone else’s. There’s nothing a person can offer that is worth your peace of mind.

You will do either bad or good by yourself. It all depends on how you feel about yourself as to what you will and won’t accept in your life. You definitely don’t need anyone adding to problems you may already have. If a person can’t bring to the table, then it means they are taking away. Therefore, you will have their issues to deal with along with your own. No one can complete you, they either add to or take away. A person who loves his or herself will never allow anyone to bring distress into their lives. You have to stand and be complete on your own to have something happy and healthy with someone else.

When you give up your power you make it much easier for the other person to take advantage of you. Some people give too much too quickly. They think it will keep the other person around, instead most times it drives them away. Some will stick around to get whatever they can out of you, in the meantime they still don’t want to be with you. If you’re lost in your feelings you won’t be able to see it.

Most people want to hang on to someone who isn’t remotely worth hanging on to. For you it’s all about them and for them it’s all about them! Sad, but true! Still many people don’t get it or won’t get it! When you’re dealing with a lot of issues it interferes with the ability to think rationally or logically. People are blind by their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. People are seeking things they know nothing about. You can’t expect to find happiness or love in someone else when you’re unhappy with yourself and when you don’t love yourself. Normally it will not work!

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Bondage due to Fear

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There are many people who are in bondage due to their fears. This is a learned behavior. Somewhere along the way it was instilled. Fear stagnates people and it causes people to miss many great opportunities. It causes people to remain stuck. If you remain stuck you can’t mature and grow! This goes for both the Christian and the non Christian.

I’ve heard many times people who claim to be Saints of God talk about fearing this or that. Let me tell you something, fear and God doesn’t belong together!You can’t love the Lord and be fearful of everything. If you are it’s because you’re a person who is walking by the flesh and not the Spirit. Please ask Jesus to take you back to when you first believed. You can not love Jesus and be about the Father’s business if you are full of fear. Fear is strictly of the devil to keep people from being what God has intended for them to be.

Pray you are delivered from your fear, because if you aren’t then it means you believe in the power of something else over God. Whatever have a hold on you is stronger than your love for God. No one can grow as a Saint of God if they are living in or with fear.

The more a person give into fear the more they are controlled by their fear/s and the more the fear will stay with the individual. Face your fears and take control of them/it so it no longer controls you! People always say “it’s easier said then done.” It’s only as hard as you make it! Allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you. “Pray without cease!” “Walk by faith and not by sight!”

Stepping Stones Into Stumbling Blocks

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I hope all is well. I am actually recuperating from surgery. I am doing well it’s a 6 week recovery. However, I wanted to post since I didn’t post last week.

I wanted to encourage someone today. I find through communicating with many people they have allowed their stepping stones to become stumbling blocks. People have a tendency of doing this mostly out of fear.

Stepping stones are things on your individual journeys that are meant to move you from point A to B. They are often there to set a person up for another phase in life. They are meant to be temporary. They provide opportunity for growth and they open doors. Sometimes they may not be what a person really want, however they are only temporary moments setting you up for something greater. Problem is a lot of people get frustrated because of what the stepping stone entails. Some people may feel they deserve more. They oftentimes feel it’s beneath them. Sometimes people feel it’s too much. People don’t want what comes along with it. Bottom line is people forget they’re only pumping their brakes, it’s not supposed to be a stopping point.

Stumbling blocks are things that come along which oftentimes make people want to question why they do what they do. They make people feel like throwing in their towel. They are hindrances and forms of blockages keeping people from getting to the next level. People sometimes feel defeated, they get discouraged. Stumbling blocks can knock people down and out if it’s what they allow.

Truth is stepping stones are a way to build us up for the next level. Unfortunately most people allow their temporary stepping stones to become their stumbling blocks when they were never meant to be. People get opportunities and because of fear, self doubt, lack of faith, lack of esteem and confidence they allow what is supposed to be stepping stones to become stumbling blocks. When this happens people turn down opportunities and stay in the same place. They begin to let opportunities to pass them by because they make their stepping stones their stumbling blocks.

Many people are afraid of change. People shouldn’t allow their fears to keep them stuck and afraid to maneuver through their stepping stones in life.
If a person does their stepping stones become stumbling blocks hindering them and keeping them stagnant. People who do this fail to mature and grow. They miss out on a lot in life because of their inabilities to move forward.

Never be afraid to use your stepping stones to your advantage. Your stepping stones aren’t there to hinder or knock you down. They will if you have
allowed them to become your stumbling blocks.

Afraid or Ashamed, Then you Don’t Know Him

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As a true Saint oftentimes you will have to stand alone. If you’re afraid to stand alone, then you should check your walk. If you’re afraid to speak the truth, then you should check your walk. If you’re afraid now, I feel sorry for you, because what’s coming will shake people to their core, so if you’re unable to stand now, you won’t be able to stand when your faith is truly tested. This is why many will fall away! Things in this world are not going to get better, they will only become worse.

Many people will walk away, because they aren’t ready for your lifestyle. Let them walk! No matter how hard it seems, how it looks, how it feels, stick and stand on the Word of God! Those who walk away are supposed to walk away, they aren’t good for you anyhow. Those people will sometimes be family and friends. You all know I’m an advocate of loving them from a distance. You help them if they need help, but you keep it moving. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Keep praying for them!

People must learn to activate and work the power Jesus has given to us all, if we believe, accept it, and use it. It’s like anything else, the more you work it, the stronger it becomes. Don’t worry about what those around you will say or is saying. Live your life in a way knowing without a doubt you’ve secured your seat in the Kingdom! People will do all kinds of things against you; still stand on the truth and the Word of God!

Times are at hand! God is showing us signs and wonders He promised would be coming. People still are choosing to act as if it’s all a big game. It is not a game, yet people are playing games with their lives they will NEVER win! People freely live their lives against God, yet for the devil; when the devil cares nothing about them. The devil is doing what he’s here on earth to do (kill, steal, and destroy). He already knows his seat is designated in the pits of Hell and his plan is devised where many will foolishly choose to accompany him there. He can’t put people in Hell, people choose hell on their own. The devil just trick people into it! He is the father of lies and deceit. He’s seeking whom he can devour and he’s doing exactly that! He make things appear good, but ANYTHING against God isn’t good or good for you!

The Bible says “watch and pray and it also says “guard your heart.” My prayer is Saints of God stand on the Word of God and live for the truth! Don’t be afraid, because there is no fear in Jesus. Don’t be ashamed, because He said “if you’re ashamed to own me before man, I’ll be ashamed to own you before my Father in Heaven. Bottom line, either you’re for Him or against Him. There’s no such thing as a closet Saint. If you think there is, then THINK AGAIN! If you’re sugarcoating, watering down the Word, and pretending for man, then you’re NOT a true Saint of God! “A house divided against itself will fall!”

Never be Afraid to Speak Up

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There are many people who claim to be on the side of Jesus the Son and God the Father, but they are afraid to speak up on certain topics in their churches, groups, or wherever. If you’re afraid to speak the truth about Jesus and God the Father than you’re a talker; not a walker and doer of the Word. I won’t even try to apologize for the truth.

The Bible says “if you’re shamed to own me before man, I will be ashamed to own you before my Father in Heaven. It doesn’t matter if you’re afraid to speak up or embarrassed/ashamed, they look alike in the eyes of Jesus. There is no fear in Jesus! If you’re too afraid to speak the truth, then you are a person who needs to go back and figure out why, because your walk is seriously flawed.

As individuals who are serving Jesus, we shouldn’t be afraid to speak out and we shouldn’t be ashamed to speak out. If we are then we aren’t who we pretend to be. If we don’t live what we profess, we definitely won’t choose it when our backs are against the wall. Being afraid or ashamed isn’t an option when living for Jesus.

As I’ve said many times before; the ways of the world are getting worse. You’re going to see and hear things you can’t comprehend. Remember the Bible must be fulfilled through and through. No matter what happens, as a child of the Almighty we must stand firm and believe His Word. If a person is ashamed or afraid to own Him now, imagine the issues they will face when they are basically forced to choose. The way things in this world are going, one day we may soon find ourselves in positions of being asked who we choose man’s way or Jesus’s way. There is no struggle and there is no forcing when it comes to people who are really living what they profess. They will stand on the side and the Word of the Almighty!

God don’t need NO coward soldiers!!! If you are seriously about God’s business then don’t be ashamed or afraid to witness for Him! You will clearly see who’s talking out the sides of their necks (faking, pretending, and lying)and who are sincere. People who are only jaw jacking and not really living what they profess won’t want to hear it. They don’t care if you’re writing it or speaking it, they will not want to hear it. Most times they will blatantly ignore you and the message. Oftentimes you will find yourself alone. It’s alright, because we all have to make it in for ourselves anyways. Keep standing!! Nobody’s mad but the devil and his people.

People who are only living it in their disillusioned minds will have attitudes towards you. They will often say negative things against you such as you act like you do know wrong or you’re too holy, etc. It’s okay, they pursued, scorned, spit on, and crucified Jesus and He was someone without sin. No matter what you have to go through stay strong in your faith and your walk. Don’t let no man deceive you into believing you’re wrong about your faith. Don’t allow anyone to entice you to turn around. Keep your minds and hearts on Jesus, because the devil is here with a job to do seeking whom he can devour!

Your Life, Your Choice

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I was approached by someone who is in a bad relationship. This person asked my opinion on her situation. I thought the topic would make a good post this week. A lot of people stay in unhealthy and unhappy relationships for feelings of being trapped. That’s all it is, a feeling! You’re not trapped unless you’re held captive against your will, otherwise you are not trapped; you just don’t have the will to move on (for whatever reason/s). Leaving is always a choice many choose not to take.

You all know I’ve talked about this topic many times. As I’ve always said how a relationship starts out is oftentimes indicative of how it will end. It’s no surprise! However, people miss the signs due to their feelings and filling their needs for self-gratification (they want what they want when they want it.) This way of thinking often leave people feeling stuck in situations that aren’t good for them. They end up feeling trapped, obligated, afraid, insecure, etc and these are reasons they stay in unhealthy and loveless relationships.

Any person alive can prevent his or herself from being a part of a bad/unhealthy relationship by acknowledging the signs for what they are. Allowing what you feel for the person obscures the truth. Your longings for them sexually obscures the truth and is NOT the right way to a healthy relationship. You will never see the big picture if you’re blind or oblivious to the truth.

Case after case, scenario after scenario; people have repeatedly gotten into bad situations, because they allow their feelings and emotions blind them to the truth. They can’t “see past the end of their noses.” I firmly believe when a person is this caught up in another person they’re setting themselves up for heartache and pain, because they won’t acknowledge the truth until it’s too late (too deep in it, married, or dead).

Examples:

  1. When you’re all in it by yourself there’s a problem, but people can’t see it because for you it’s all about how you’re feeling about the person. The fact that they’re treated like crap doesn’t register. The fact that they’re with someone who has nothing to offer but added misery doesn’t register. I can go on and on. It doesn’t register because people are led by their emotions and feelings.
  2. When what you do is one-sided, this is a problem. If every time you look around your dishing out material things, initiating the intimacy, leading the conversations, attending to his or her needs, but it’s never reciprocated it is bound to be a huge problem later.
  3. When there’s no communication outside of sex or arguing; this is a problem and it will cause big problems in the relationship down the road. This is no way to build a healthy foundation.
  4. When someone is controlling where you go, who you’re around, what you wear, etc; this isn’t love, it’s a setup for a major problem and a huge sign of things to come; many of these types of people who are doing this are abusive in some form. To avoid being in relationships you’re afraid to leave for any reason; the solution is to get out before you get any more involved. This has to be done early in the relationship and the only way a person can or will do this is if they’re acknowledging the truth. I’ve heard so many women say they thought it was cute by their men not wanting them to wear certain clothes, wanting to know where they are and who they were with, etc. It’s NOT cute; it’s a clear sign that this is a problem. Stop allowing your hearts to lead you in dangerous waters.
  5. If the relationship or marriage is forced in any way (pregnancy, pressure from the significant other, family & friends, etc), this will most definitely pose as a major problem down the road. There will undoubtedly be regret and anger down the road because love was never there. The relationship evolved out of sense of obligation or responsibility.
  6. When his or her friends and family are more important then you, this will definitely cause hardship down the road. This is accepted by many until they realize this is the way it is and they can’t change it. Now it’s a problem, but it’s a problem you should have dealt with it beforehand. People don’t, because they are too caught up in their feelings and most think they can change the minds of those they’re involved with. More than likely they can’t! In the beginning mess was accepted and in the end they get what they accepted in the beginning (mess)!
  7. If you find yourself with someone who’s abusive in any kind of way it will be a big problem down the road. No type of abuse should be brushed off. A lot of people have died in abusive relationships because they were completely led by their feelings and emotions for the other person until their eyes open; then they felt trapped or were too afraid to leave. It shouldn’t have ever gotten to this point! Abusers are very manipulative; they know what to say and do to get you hooked. However, people can avoid being bamboozled by looking beyond their emotions/feelings. These types of individuals (abusers) can be very nice, but the core of who they are always shows in some way. People get confused because these individuals go back and forth between good and bad behaviors. Duh, duh, duh!! That is a sign in itself.

I can go on for days on this topic. People get deeper into relationships that are tagged red from the beginning. People begin to feel trapped because of their lack of esteem and confidence in self. They feel they can’t make it alone so they stay. A lot of people who feel this way don’t realize they’re already making it alone, because although with someone they are lonely people. This isn’t love nor is it a healthy relationship.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re afraid of whom you’re with or you’re afraid to leave, this is a serious problem that shouldn’t have been allowed to get to this point. You didn’t wake up and find your relationship this way; it has been this way for a long time. Unfortunately you were blind by emotions and feelings.

I don’t know what else to say or how many times I must keep saying it, but it’s all about choice. Your life is yours and you have the choice to choose whether or not you will continue in your relationships. You have the choice to accept what’s dished out or not. You can’t make the best decision if you’re led by a heart filled with emotions of the other person, because he or she is all you will think about and out of it comes all of the thoughts, feelings, etc. Going off of those feelings and emotions will definitely cause a person to make the wrong choices.

I believe it’s simple to avoid bad relationships and situations by accepting the signs before us. I don’t care how good it makes you feel, this doesn’t mean it’s good for you. This is why people need to learn how to look past those feelings and embrace what’s truly good for them. Doing the opposite says a lot about you as an individual. It says what you believe about yourself and it shows their are insecurities and inner issues. Over the years when it comes to relationships I’ve seen the same bad decisions and choices made by thousands. Despite it all people will continue to be led by their feelings and emotions into bad relationships. At the end of the day, for many it’s all about satisfying the flesh. Sad, but true.

AFRAID TO BE ALONE, AFRAID TO START OVER

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Many in this world are in dead end relationships, but one or both are afraid to move on out of fear of being alone and/or fear of starting over. Sadly the truth is, although in a relationship, you’re still very much alone. However, you don’t understand this truth because to you although you’ve cried yourself to sleep on many occasions, you still feel some type of security, because he/she are still around. There may be many times you don’t see him or her, but because you know they will eventually come home you still have a sense of security.

Fear of being alone or starting over keeps many people in unhappy relationships. Many of you would rather know your significant other will eventually come home versus being completely alone. You’ve invested so much into the other person, but nothing in yourself and now you realize you’ve made it hard for yourself. Now you feel you have to remain in a loveless relationship for purposes of security.

For many it’s tough to be alone, but in honesty this can be a great time to grow and develop. If you base your life on your significant other you’re the type of person who makes life harder than it has to be. Loving someone and being in love is all good, but it’s complete hell when you’re in love by yourself. It’s hell when you’re with someone yet you feel completely alone. People who do this are individuals who need to really get to know who they are and what they need.

To be co-dependent on someone else gives that person power over you. You realize how powerless you’ve become when there’s no longer interaction between you and the person you’re with. You become overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness. Sadness fills your heart on many days. This is because you have no peace. You don’t completely love yourself and now the person you loved no longer loves you.

Many continue to stay out of a sense of security. They feel because they have a roof over their heads, clothes, and food to eat all is well. This is furthest from the truth. When you’re dependent on someone else for your basic needs it’s frightening to think of losing that sense of security.

Fear keeps many in places they don’t necessarily want to be. This clearly shows you’ve given your power to someone else. You watch that person move around you, but you’re not a part of that motion. You’re lonely when you have someone right there. You know your relationship is at a dead end, but fear keeps you stuck.

It’s not really about the other individual, it’s about you. You must focus on you. Learn to love yourself. Learn about you! You have to regain confidence and esteem in order to discover what is best for you. It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not okay to stay that way! Put one step in front of the other and get on with your life.