Never be Afraid to Speak Up

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There are many people who claim to be on the side of Jesus the Son and God the Father, but they are afraid to speak up on certain topics in their churches, groups, or wherever. If you’re afraid to speak the truth about Jesus and God the Father than you’re a talker; not a walker and doer of the Word. I won’t even try to apologize for the truth.

The Bible says “if you’re shamed to own me before man, I will be ashamed to own you before my Father in Heaven. It doesn’t matter if you’re afraid to speak up or embarrassed/ashamed, they look alike in the eyes of Jesus. There is no fear in Jesus! If you’re too afraid to speak the truth, then you are a person who needs to go back and figure out why, because your walk is seriously flawed.

As individuals who are serving Jesus, we shouldn’t be afraid to speak out and we shouldn’t be ashamed to speak out. If we are then we aren’t who we pretend to be. If we don’t live what we profess, we definitely won’t choose it when our backs are against the wall. Being afraid or ashamed isn’t an option when living for Jesus.

As I’ve said many times before; the ways of the world are getting worse. You’re going to see and hear things you can’t comprehend. Remember the Bible must be fulfilled through and through. No matter what happens, as a child of the Almighty we must stand firm and believe His Word. If a person is ashamed or afraid to own Him now, imagine the issues they will face when they are basically forced to choose. The way things in this world are going, one day we may soon find ourselves in positions of being asked who we choose man’s way or Jesus’s way. There is no struggle and there is no forcing when it comes to people who are really living what they profess. They will stand on the side and the Word of the Almighty!

God don’t need NO coward soldiers!!! If you are seriously about God’s business then don’t be ashamed or afraid to witness for Him! You will clearly see who’s talking out the sides of their necks (faking, pretending, and lying)and who are sincere. People who are only jaw jacking and not really living what they profess won’t want to hear it. They don’t care if you’re writing it or speaking it, they will not want to hear it. Most times they will blatantly ignore you and the message. Oftentimes you will find yourself alone. It’s alright, because we all have to make it in for ourselves anyways. Keep standing!! Nobody’s mad but the devil and his people.

People who are only living it in their disillusioned minds will have attitudes towards you. They will often say negative things against you such as you act like you do know wrong or you’re too holy, etc. It’s okay, they pursued, scorned, spit on, and crucified Jesus and He was someone without sin. No matter what you have to go through stay strong in your faith and your walk. Don’t let no man deceive you into believing you’re wrong about your faith. Don’t allow anyone to entice you to turn around. Keep your minds and hearts on Jesus, because the devil is here with a job to do seeking whom he can devour!

Your Life, Your Choice

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I was approached by someone who is in a bad relationship. This person asked my opinion on her situation. I thought the topic would make a good post this week. A lot of people stay in unhealthy and unhappy relationships for feelings of being trapped. That’s all it is, a feeling! You’re not trapped unless you’re held captive against your will, otherwise you are not trapped; you just don’t have the will to move on (for whatever reason/s). Leaving is always a choice many choose not to take.

You all know I’ve talked about this topic many times. As I’ve always said how a relationship starts out is oftentimes indicative of how it will end. It’s no surprise! However, people miss the signs due to their feelings and filling their needs for self-gratification (they want what they want when they want it.) This way of thinking often leave people feeling stuck in situations that aren’t good for them. They end up feeling trapped, obligated, afraid, insecure, etc and these are reasons they stay in unhealthy and loveless relationships.

Any person alive can prevent his or herself from being a part of a bad/unhealthy relationship by acknowledging the signs for what they are. Allowing what you feel for the person obscures the truth. Your longings for them sexually obscures the truth and is NOT the right way to a healthy relationship. You will never see the big picture if you’re blind or oblivious to the truth.

Case after case, scenario after scenario; people have repeatedly gotten into bad situations, because they allow their feelings and emotions blind them to the truth. They can’t “see past the end of their noses.” I firmly believe when a person is this caught up in another person they’re setting themselves up for heartache and pain, because they won’t acknowledge the truth until it’s too late (too deep in it, married, or dead).

Examples:

  1. When you’re all in it by yourself there’s a problem, but people can’t see it because for you it’s all about how you’re feeling about the person. The fact that they’re treated like crap doesn’t register. The fact that they’re with someone who has nothing to offer but added misery doesn’t register. I can go on and on. It doesn’t register because people are led by their emotions and feelings.
  2. When what you do is one-sided, this is a problem. If every time you look around your dishing out material things, initiating the intimacy, leading the conversations, attending to his or her needs, but it’s never reciprocated it is bound to be a huge problem later.
  3. When there’s no communication outside of sex or arguing; this is a problem and it will cause big problems in the relationship down the road. This is no way to build a healthy foundation.
  4. When someone is controlling where you go, who you’re around, what you wear, etc; this isn’t love, it’s a setup for a major problem and a huge sign of things to come; many of these types of people who are doing this are abusive in some form. To avoid being in relationships you’re afraid to leave for any reason; the solution is to get out before you get any more involved. This has to be done early in the relationship and the only way a person can or will do this is if they’re acknowledging the truth. I’ve heard so many women say they thought it was cute by their men not wanting them to wear certain clothes, wanting to know where they are and who they were with, etc. It’s NOT cute; it’s a clear sign that this is a problem. Stop allowing your hearts to lead you in dangerous waters.
  5. If the relationship or marriage is forced in any way (pregnancy, pressure from the significant other, family & friends, etc), this will most definitely pose as a major problem down the road. There will undoubtedly be regret and anger down the road because love was never there. The relationship evolved out of sense of obligation or responsibility.
  6. When his or her friends and family are more important then you, this will definitely cause hardship down the road. This is accepted by many until they realize this is the way it is and they can’t change it. Now it’s a problem, but it’s a problem you should have dealt with it beforehand. People don’t, because they are too caught up in their feelings and most think they can change the minds of those they’re involved with. More than likely they can’t! In the beginning mess was accepted and in the end they get what they accepted in the beginning (mess)!
  7. If you find yourself with someone who’s abusive in any kind of way it will be a big problem down the road. No type of abuse should be brushed off. A lot of people have died in abusive relationships because they were completely led by their feelings and emotions for the other person until their eyes open; then they felt trapped or were too afraid to leave. It shouldn’t have ever gotten to this point! Abusers are very manipulative; they know what to say and do to get you hooked. However, people can avoid being bamboozled by looking beyond their emotions/feelings. These types of individuals (abusers) can be very nice, but the core of who they are always shows in some way. People get confused because these individuals go back and forth between good and bad behaviors. Duh, duh, duh!! That is a sign in itself.

I can go on for days on this topic. People get deeper into relationships that are tagged red from the beginning. People begin to feel trapped because of their lack of esteem and confidence in self. They feel they can’t make it alone so they stay. A lot of people who feel this way don’t realize they’re already making it alone, because although with someone they are lonely people. This isn’t love nor is it a healthy relationship.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re afraid of whom you’re with or you’re afraid to leave, this is a serious problem that shouldn’t have been allowed to get to this point. You didn’t wake up and find your relationship this way; it has been this way for a long time. Unfortunately you were blind by emotions and feelings.

I don’t know what else to say or how many times I must keep saying it, but it’s all about choice. Your life is yours and you have the choice to choose whether or not you will continue in your relationships. You have the choice to accept what’s dished out or not. You can’t make the best decision if you’re led by a heart filled with emotions of the other person, because he or she is all you will think about and out of it comes all of the thoughts, feelings, etc. Going off of those feelings and emotions will definitely cause a person to make the wrong choices.

I believe it’s simple to avoid bad relationships and situations by accepting the signs before us. I don’t care how good it makes you feel, this doesn’t mean it’s good for you. This is why people need to learn how to look past those feelings and embrace what’s truly good for them. Doing the opposite says a lot about you as an individual. It says what you believe about yourself and it shows their are insecurities and inner issues. Over the years when it comes to relationships I’ve seen the same bad decisions and choices made by thousands. Despite it all people will continue to be led by their feelings and emotions into bad relationships. At the end of the day, for many it’s all about satisfying the flesh. Sad, but true.

AFRAID TO BE ALONE, AFRAID TO START OVER

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Many in this world are in dead end relationships, but one or both are afraid to move on out of fear of being alone and/or fear of starting over. Sadly the truth is, although in a relationship, you’re still very much alone. However, you don’t understand this truth because to you although you’ve cried yourself to sleep on many occasions, you still feel some type of security, because he/she are still around. There may be many times you don’t see him or her, but because you know they will eventually come home you still have a sense of security.

Fear of being alone or starting over keeps many people in unhappy relationships. Many of you would rather know your significant other will eventually come home versus being completely alone. You’ve invested so much into the other person, but nothing in yourself and now you realize you’ve made it hard for yourself. Now you feel you have to remain in a loveless relationship for purposes of security.

For many it’s tough to be alone, but in honesty this can be a great time to grow and develop. If you base your life on your significant other you’re the type of person who makes life harder than it has to be. Loving someone and being in love is all good, but it’s complete hell when you’re in love by yourself. It’s hell when you’re with someone yet you feel completely alone. People who do this are individuals who need to really get to know who they are and what they need.

To be co-dependent on someone else gives that person power over you. You realize how powerless you’ve become when there’s no longer interaction between you and the person you’re with. You become overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness. Sadness fills your heart on many days. This is because you have no peace. You don’t completely love yourself and now the person you loved no longer loves you.

Many continue to stay out of a sense of security. They feel because they have a roof over their heads, clothes, and food to eat all is well. This is furthest from the truth. When you’re dependent on someone else for your basic needs it’s frightening to think of losing that sense of security.

Fear keeps many in places they don’t necessarily want to be. This clearly shows you’ve given your power to someone else. You watch that person move around you, but you’re not a part of that motion. You’re lonely when you have someone right there. You know your relationship is at a dead end, but fear keeps you stuck.

It’s not really about the other individual, it’s about you. You must focus on you. Learn to love yourself. Learn about you! You have to regain confidence and esteem in order to discover what is best for you. It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not okay to stay that way! Put one step in front of the other and get on with your life.

STOP ALLOWING OTHERS TO BLOCK YOUR PROGRESS

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Many of you must stop allowing people to block your progress. When a person allows others to limit them to a point where they’re unable to show their true potential this is a problem. A person who allows this has some issues they need to face such as a lack of confidence and self esteem. Stop being afraid. Stop standing in the shadow of others. God has given us all gifts and talents. No one can have yours and you can’t have another person’s.

Stop being afraid to step out. Stop being afraid to dream and move towards your goals. People try to limit you for many reasons such as jealousy, envy, sad, unhappy, depressed etc about their own lives. They see something in you and they’re afraid of what you may accomplish. They will try to make you think what you want is unattainable. They will say discouraging things, they will act disinterested, and oftentimes they’re unsupportive. Don’t lose sight of your dreams!

There are also those who are afraid of letting go. They try to keep you at a place you really don’t want to be so that you can remain in arm’s reach. This can sometimes kill your ambition. Don’t let people do this to you. Just as a person who allows this to happen has issues, any person who tries to block another person’s progress has issues else well.

There are many situations where people don’t show their true abilities and potential. They know they’re being hated on for whatever reason, so they try to remain low key. Stop it! Don’t let no one prevent you from giving your all every chance you get. Don’t continue to stand in the shadows. Step out and let your light shine!

IN HONOR OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MONTH (New Love)

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This post is in honor of domestic violence month, however the fight against it should be ongoing. People shouldn’t set aside a particular time to talk about it, this should be talked about all of the time. One thing for sure is it can be prevented like a lot of other things. LET ME EXPLAIN. I’ve talked many times about seeing the signs, but I also know most aren’t at a place in their lives to be willing to accept the signs. This is because they aren’t mature enough. They may be old enough, but age certainly doesn’t make us mature.

People can avoid being victims of domestic abuse. How you may ask? My answer is by never allowing it from the jump. I don’t care what anyone says, there’s always signs and although a person may not respond to those signs, it doesn’t make them any less visible.

Please don’t allow your hearts to get in the way. I don’t care how much you’re feeling, you must take into consideration what is happening in your relationship. Both men and women get too caught up in the emotions. When this happens people lose focus. People let too much get by when they’re going off of feelings and emotions.

As I’ve mentioned many times, I don’t care how subtle a person does things, they will ALWAYS show their true tendencies. Sometimes they may not show them directly to you, but they will show them in your presence. This is a SIGN. Sometimes a person will show them towards someone else, but believe me they will sooner or later be directed towards you.

Please understand early in a relationship if a person does any of the things listed please RE-EVALUATE the relationship, before you let your hearts lead you wrong. If the person you’re with physically put their hands on you in any way, talk badly to you or about you, try to control your every move, isolate you from others, possessive or obsessive towards you, try to take over your life and make you do what they want you to do, tell you what you can or can’t wear, tell you where you can or can’t go, tell you what you can and can’t do, get mad or angry easily, throws or punches things, get upset when others are around you because they want you to his or herself all of the time, force you to do things you don’t want to do, very aggressive toward you or others, etc.

If any of the above is happening in your relationship and your dating, please back off, because there is a great chance things will only become worse. STOP marrying people who are abusive to you before marriage. People don’t want to accept the truth, because they feel they’re in love. Think about it! If the person you’re with really loved you in a HEALTHY way they wouldn’t do any of the above. It’s an unhealthy way to love and I plead with you to not allow your feelings to lead you wrong.

You don’t have to be mature in order to use your common sense. Now, I know some people don’t seem to have common sense, but please see the truth for what it is. I’ve seen horrible affects of domestic violence. The things people do to the one’s they supposedly love is horrendous and sad.

Don’t stay in abusive relationships. Don’t tolerate abuse in ANY FORM. Don’t stay long enough to be too AFRAID to leave. Don’t stay long enough until you feel too TRAPPED to leave (giving all power to him or her). Don’t stay long enough where you have children and use them as an excuse to stay. Don’t stay long enough to find yourself crippled, blinded, maimed in anyway, or even worst; KILLED. Too many lives are lost due to domestic violence when it could have been prevented.

STOP getting into these unhealthy relationships where they’re clearly unhealthy. ANYTHING outside of HEALTHY is UNHEALTHY and a POTENTIAL for DANGER. Love isn’t any of this! Too many are getting into relationships for many wrong reasons. People need to stop giving their lives to unnecessary drama. Don’t let that first shove, slap, twist of the arm, choke, spit on, threat, etc get by. Put on the brakes immediately! Don’t ACCEPT I’m kidding or I’m sorry, because IT WILL MOST LIKELY HAPPEN AGAIN.

You all may think I’m being a bit cautious, you’re wrong. I’m being VERY cautious, because DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is REAL. I’ve seen men and women who willfully got into awful situations that they could have and should have avoided. I can’t stress enough how IMPORTANT it is for people to see abuse for what it is and to see it for what it isn’t. IT IS NOT LOVE, not EVER! I don’t care how good you feel and how your heart have you all discombobulated. People need to see the truth for what it is.

Below is a poem from one of the first books I wrote. I hope you can see the picture in your mind as you read the poem. Domestic violence is a awful thing for anyone to endure. There’s absolutely no love worth it. In fact IT’S NOT LOVE AT ALL. Abuse comes from a hurt soul and it’s accepted by a confused soul.

Flowers for Me

The guy that I loved was a very violent man
His last attack on me my body couldn’t withstand
I stayed too long and now it is too late
Take heed anyone who can possibly relate
I didn’t want to go, but I had no choice
Don’t be sad at my funeral instead rejoice

I was punched, choked, and even knocked out
Being threatened by him if I screamed or shout
Fearing the worst on this day I begged for my life
Ignoring all of my pleas he pulled out a knife
Sticking and slicing as I fell with a plop
Blood pouring everywhere as if never to stop

Out of all the beatings this was the worst attack
I should have left long ago never looking back
The ambulance came for me on this day
Then the Paramedic called me in D.O.A
It was a shock to everyone that knew of me
Since I told no one of all the beatings you see

I’ve never gotten flowers before
Today I got roses, carnations, and more
So many flowers arranged beautifully
Not for my eyes, but for others to see
Guess what? I even got tulips too
And a beautiful guestbook signed for me by you

First time in my life I got flowers today
And so many gathered around in dismay
To say their goodbye’s and farewell’s too
I hope this tragedy never happens to you
If you find yourself in a relationship like mine
Get out now! Before you run out of time
2009copyright

SLEEPWALKING THROUGH LIFE

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I’ve been on vacation and purposely away from computers etc. I’m back and it’s time to write. Something have been on my mind. First, let me say that by sleepwalking, I me to let your life pass you by without trying to improve your current situations. You’re going along every day with no motivation for change. I see too many people who are settling in every aspect of their lives when they don’t have too.

There’s more to life than work, work, work (for those of you who are working). Some of you NEVER get to enjoy life. All you do is work, but never enjoy the “fruits of your labor.” It’s sad, but many of you don’t even like your jobs. You work because you have too, but you’re unhappy with what you’re doing. You go to work every day, but you are miserable. The problem for a lot of you is the fact that you’re afraid of change. You are afraid of something new, etc. Although it may be new it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s hard; it’s simply brand new. You can learn anything you want too. Stop allowing fear to keep you stuck and basically sleeping walking through life. Go for something new, something that makes you happy. “NOTHING BEATS A FAIL, BUT A TRY.” Stop thinking and dreaming about it; and do it!

Then there’s those who are so complacent. They don’t want to try anything new. They are content with the way things are going in their lives. However, they’re always asking for something from someone else (always), but they don’t exert any effort to change their situations. I believe fear may have a part in it, but I believe being lazy, complacent, and content has a lot to do with it too. It’s time to wake up and stop sleepwalking through life. Nothing changes unless you make an effort to do something different.

Some people never go anywhere. They don’t do anything enjoyable. They do the same things day in and day out. This is a sad way to live. It’s time to stop it and start enjoying your life. Make an effort to do something enjoyable a couple of times a month. Some of you don’t want to spend a dime. Well, you can’t take it with you when you die. You may as well enjoy some of it while you live (sometimes). Some of you may feel you don’t have it to spare, but remember it doesn’t always take money to do something enjoyable.

Many of you are settling in many areas of your lives. You’re stuck in dead end relationships. You keep going around in circles, yet getting absolutely nowhere. Instead of trying to fix things, many of you are making them worst by doing nothing. Although married many of you live separately in your homes, because you don’t communicate. You keep doing the same ole things which boils down to (separation and avoidance). You tell others what’s going on and how you feel instead of talking to your significant others. This doesn’t fix anything, it makes things worst and only causes more separation, envy, anger, resentment, regret, and misery. Stop sleepwalking through life your lives. It’s time to wake up and get it together. You deserve to have peace and happiness, but you will never have it if you keep doing what you’re doing. Wake up!

Whatever is causing many of you to sleepwalk your lives away, it’s time to WAKE UP! Try something new, stop going around in circles, and make decisions to do something about your current situations. Stop allowing things such as complacency, fear, laziness, contentment, etc., to keep you stuck in places you REALLY don’t want to be. Stop sleepwalking! Wake up and smell the flowers, because one day you’ll be dead and gone. The flowers you get then; YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SMELL. Start enjoying your lives, change whatever you need to change in order for it to be better. Peace and love to you!!