Millions of people are seeking love and many other things from others, which often leaves them more broken than before. What people fail to understand is there are just as many people out there who are also broken and they happen to be the individuals hurt people are getting with. Hurt people are getting into relationships with other hurt people, because both parties are seeking something they desire or want. It all leads to more dysfunction and chaos.
Sometimes a person is legitimately honest about how they feel, BUT those feelings comes from brokenness therefore those feelings often leads people into bad situations and relationships. It often leads them into relationships with other broken people who haven’t dealt with their inner issues as well. Those individuals sometimes have entirely different agendas due to anger, bitterness, jealousy, envy, etc
When a person lacks self esteem and confidence it puts them in a vulnerable state of mind where they are often misused, abused, and taken for granted. Believe it or not another person can tell if you’re vulnerable by how you allow certain things to happen. They can tell by how you go along with things and by what you accept. You show them who you are by how you act. They know you’re led by your feelings and emotions therefore it’s exactly what they will play on.
Unfortunately some people are too blind to see this truth. They are focused on what they desire and want until their feelings override their ability to see the truth. Many people find themselves in unhealthy relationships over and over yet they never break the cycle. They can read a million books, blogs, go to therapy, see or hear about unhealthy relationships, yet they still gravitate towards one. Why? It’s because of what’s inside of self.
You can’t grow and remain where you are. Growth brings about change. Many people believe since they are older they are mature. It’s not true! Some people stunt their growth by their inability to move past bad events and experiences. They’re stagnated by their own mental states. All of it comes from a bad place within. It’s a bad place because it’s where unresolved issues dwell. If people don’t deal with their issues they’re carried for a lifetime. Those things affect all aspects of a person’s life.
When individuals fall in what they think is love they normally move according to how they feel, what they want, and desire. They believe whatever is told to them, because they can’t see the truth. They can’t see they are being groomed and woo’ed into submission. They hear and see what they want. Everyone around can see the truth except the individual going through it. They only get enough from their significant others to be reeled in. They are like bait on a fishing pole!
People think it’s love when they are told by their significant others what to wear, where they can and can’t go, who they can be around, etc. They make themselves available 24/7, but they don’t have availability to the other person. They think it’s love when the other person constantly calls or texts them. They think it’s love when the other person only wants them around him or her. When people are led by their feelings they are led by the heart alone. The only way to see what’s in front of you is the heart and mind must be synced. People don’t get to this point without first truly loving self and knowing happiness starts within self.
Sometimes a person would rather have something versus nothing at all. Sad part is what they allude to as something is actually nothing at all. They want it so badly they actually think it’s true love. People accept all types of shenanigans in the name of love. They are blind to the truth despite the truth staring them in the face. This leads to drama, heartbreak, chaos, and dysfunction.
I talk and write about self love and relationships all of the time. My goal is to help someone to understand much of the problems they face in their relationships are due to self. You can’t force anyone to love you nor can you buy love. A person will do and say all of the right things to get you. At the end of the day they’ll always revert to who they really are. Sadly those who are caught up in their feelings will ignore what they see. When you don’t love yourself it prevents you from seeing what you need to see. People put you in positions they want you to be, because they see you’re easily led and your eagerness to be loved. They lead you right where you let them.
No matter what’s going on in your relationship never allow anyone to lay a foundation only you should lay. What I mean by this is when you love yourself you see others for who they are. You see lies and shenanigans from afar. Although you have feelings and emotions you keep them in check. You learn everything that looks good isn’t good for you. You realize looks, money, status, titles, things, etc isn’t what relationships should be based on. Those things don’t keep relationships together. Loving self means you will not put up with any ole thing just to say you have something. Most importantly you won’t fall for tickling of your ears or honeycomb words. You will see the signs and the truth when it stares you in your face.