Excuses Won’t Matter or Work

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This past weekend I was looking at some videos sent to me on some so called pastors. Yes, I will say so-called, they are the ones who call themselves pastors, but they aren’t called of God. How do I know? I know because when you’re living for the Lord and you’re called you won’t be doing what you once did and on top of it; making excuses for what you’re doing. Those who are on Jesus’s side are not trying to please man and they certainly don’t use excuses for why they are still doing worldly things. Only people who are still in the world display such behavior. It won’t get you off the hook. You will pay for the choices you make.

Judging, this normally comes out of the mouth of those who are still in the world, but always making excuse for self and those like them. When serving Jesus, you’re either in or out. There’s none of the other stuff. If people are trying to give people encouragement, enlightment, motivation, insight, etc to do a self examination it is not judging. It is not judging to call people out on their bull, especially in relation to the Word of God. Only those who are not doing what thus saith the Lord complains it’s judging. Those excuses will not give you a go for going to Heaven. It will give you an exit the other way!

He’s still a man. This irks me! It has nothing to do with a man being a man when serving God. Flesh is flesh, period, and it’s what most are led by. People want to make excuses for men and women who are still doing worldly things. Listen, if you’re on Jesus side and you really love Him the way you profess, then you will do what’s right when that ole devil try to make you do wrong. You will not be led by your flesh. Those who are easily led by their flesh makes excuses for what they do. Accept who you really are when you’re still doing worldly things. You do it because you’re still in the world, point blank! Those who are making excuses for people doing wrong by blaming they are still flesh and bone are people who are also in the world and doing worldly things. Children of God know better! They don’t allow the flesh to lead them. They know they have a certain criteria they must live by and they won’t allow anyone or anything to hinder their walk with the Lord. It’s sad when people make excuses for themselves or for others who are outwardly doing wrong with no regards of their salvation. You can’t serve God and do what the world does, you just can’t!

Another excuse will land many in hell is “no one’s perfect.” This is an excuse to keep doing wrong, but I tell you one thing it won’t work when standing before the Lord. We are made in His image, therefore we are capable of doing right, making right choices, and living holy lives. It’s not forced, but if you live for Him you must want it and you must take on the characteristics of a changed individual. There’s absolutely no other way! You have to be born again, you must be changed from the ways of the world (the ways you used to be). People can’t continue to use the crutch of not being perfect, they will find themselves hobbling and wobbling right on into hell (you and your crutch). This crutch will not save you from hell!

I don’t care what anyone says if you’ve made up your mind and you are on the Lord’s side than your life will be a reflection of it. No one or nothing will influence or coerce you into going against God the Father, His Son Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. ALL aspects of your walk will change. Honestly I don’t know what the problem is that prevents people from living right other than THEY JUST DON’T WANT TO! I’ve never ever once looked back into the world. I’ve never wanted to. I’ve had plenty of temptations, but I’ve never succumbed to any. I live to live again. I live to see my Jesus face and not just for when I stand before Him, but to reign with Him forever, that is my goal! I don’t give in to my flesh, because I know the tricks of the enemy. I call ole satan out for who he is, every single time! I don’t care how he comes, you have to put him in his place! The more you do this, the stronger you will become and the more power and anointing you will have in your life. You have power and authority by Jesus Christ, use it!

The Bible says “He’s coming in the twinkling of an eye.” We’ve seen it over and over in the lives of others, yet people are still acting as if it doesn’t apply to them. It applies to you, you, you, and me! No one is exempt. He’s coming back for each and every one of us. If your house isn’t in order then you’ve made your choice. If He catches you with your work undone, then you made your choice. If He comes and you’re still doing what the world does, then you’ve made your choice. If He comes and you’re still using people are judging you as an excuse, then you’ve made your choice. If He comes and you’re still using not being perfect as an excuse, then you’ve made your choice. If He comes and you haven’t chosen Him, then you’ve made your choice. The decision is up to each of us, it’s not forced. We have to want to serve him of free will! Remember, your excuses won’t matter or work!

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Loving to the Point of Losing Yourself

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Some people may not admit it, but I know a lot of people find themselves in this type of situation. It is unhealthy! If you lose yourself in someone the only reason a person does this is because they’ve never really found self. People who don’t know the difference between wants and needs are people who don’t know what’s right for them. Oftentimes they are people who don’t understand what love is and what it isn’t. They seek love in all the wrong ways, with all the wrong people, and wrong the places. They end up in unhealthy and sometimes downright dangerous relationships.

I’ve met a tremendous amount of people who have told me they were deep into their significant other until they lost sight of who they were. Some went off into the deep end doing things they never wanted to do and acting ways out of the norm only to appease their significant other. Many people get lost trying to save or fix their significant others. If you’re trying to save or fix someone then it’s obvious you have things to work out within yourself.

Many individuals give up their hopes and dreams to help their significant others to obtain theirs. Nothing is wrong with supporting your significant other, but you should never give up your dreams to do so. There are many people who end up separating after their significant others has obtained their goals and the person left behind feels lost and brokenhearted. It’s what you signed up for, because you can change your situation anytime you choose!

I’ve written and said many times a person can definitely lose self trying to be in an unhealthy relationship with someone else. There are many people who seek love from others, yet they don’t love self. What sense does that make? They look pass all the signs of potential problems because they are led by their feelings and emotions. They are dead set on trying to fix or save the one they are with. People have lost their sanity and health trying to make it work with toxic and broken individuals. It compiles their own problems with the problems of their significant other. If you find yourself in this type of relationship re-examine yourself by looking inward to figure out why you’re putting yourself through it. You can’t fix or save anyone, especially if they’re not ready to change!

A person who loves self will not tolerate any unnecessary chaos or discord in their lives. They love self enough to walk away from people who bring toxicity and negativity their way. They look past looks, material things, statuses, etc. They understand a peaceful mind is priceless! They aren’t trying to save, fix, teach, or raise no adult! People will be treated how allowed. If you take crap, crap is what you will get! Period!

You can’t make a person want to change no matter how much you love them. People have to want to change their negative states of mind. They must want to become better individuals NOT because of you, but because it’s what they need in their life with or without you! Individual’s who change for other people will most likely revert back to who they really are once they’ve gotten comfortable enough in the relationship. The signs will be present, but unfortunately the person who is busy and fixated on trying to save or fix misses the signs until they become drained and overwhelmed with it all.

The greatest teacher in my life has been experience. Ooooweee! There are some things I am so thankful I went through, because it taught me never EVER do it again. I learn from everything. I know a lot of people don’t, they keep going through the same things with the same types of people. It’s because they aren’t ready to change. You need to change from the person who is always trying to fix and save just as much as the person you’re trying to save or fix. If not you will always continue to have chaos in your life and relationships!

When you continue to accept discord and chaos stop pointing the finger. The other person may very well be a part of the problem, but you’re the biggest problem, because no one can dictate your life unless you allow. If you allow chaos and discord, guess what? You will get it! Don’t allow anyone to cause you to stress out to the point of losing your mind and health. People end up on psychotropic medications due to stress, anxiety, depression, fear, hopelessness, etc, etc. This happens because people lose self in trying to love someone healthy. You can’t do it anyways, but especially when you’re in an unhealthy state of mind yourself. People must want to change, be willing to change, and put in the time and effort to do so! You can’t do it for them no matter how much you love them.

Your Life is Your Life You Only Get One

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This week I’m giving you a triple treat (smile).

A lot of times people allow what they’ve gone through to hinder them for a lifetime. Life doesn’t have to be this way for anyone. Stop hindering your progress. Forgive, let go, and live! You may have started out able to point the finger at someone else, but you have 3 pointing back at you for a reason! What I mean is this; we all are products of what we’ve gone through. Whether good or bad it has an impact on our lives. No matter who contributed to the issues as maturing adults you must take responsibility for who or what you choose to become. There is no more room or time to play the blame game. It’s time to pick up the pieces and move on.

In writing this, I know many will probably say it’s easier said than done. I say, it’s only as hard as you make it. I’m not exempt! I’ve had my shares of ups and downs. However, I chose not to allow them to hinder my walk. As I’ve stated many times throughout my blogs; I learnt at an early age people will disappoint and hurt you. Sometimes they are the people you trust and love.
I learnt anyone who willfully hurt someone is a hurting person. Some type of misfortune took place in their life and they didn’t heal from it. This ISN’T an excuse, it’s simply the truth. NO ONE gets the greenlight to hurt someone else because they too at some point were hurt. People must face and deal with their pain in order to move on to be people with healthier states of minds.

Take a self assessment of your life. Don’t live thinking everything is okay, because you don’t think anyone know your little secrets. Many people continue down roads of destruction because they hide behind the truth thinking all is well, because no one knows. Oh it’s always shown through your decisions and choices in life. You can only fake it for so long then the truth will appear in some form or another. Trying to hide and/or pretend prevents you from maturing. It keeps people captive by their own ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. We all must deal with the issues affecting us, it’s the only way a person can grow.

Don’t give up on yourself, because you feel someone else gave up on you. Your life is yours and theirs belong to them. Allow no one to hinder your growth. If people don’t believe in you, it’s okay, you believe in yourself! Stop looking for acceptance and validation from others, because many times you will not get it. Other people have their own issues to work out, which by the way affects how they interact with you. Some people can’t love you, because they don’t love self. They can’t be happy for you, because they are unhappy with self. They can’t support you, because they have jealousy, malice, and envy in their hearts due to how they actually feel about self.

This is why I think it’s super important individuals take ownership and responsibility for who they are and who they choose to become. Don’t give power to anyone or anything, if you do then it means you lose the power that belongs to you! People make mistakes by thinking drugs, sex, alcohol, material things, etc will make them happy or fix their problems. No, they don’t and no they won’t! They in fact can make things worse. For one thing people will want more of it and another thing is nothing or no one can fix you, but you! It starts by forgiveness and facing the man/woman in the mirror.

There are millions of people stuck, because they don’t think they are worthy. They feel this way, because of all the issues they’ve gone through or how people have treated them. They didn’t heal from any of it, instead they carried it throughout their lives. It hinders their ability to move forward in life therefore; hindering their ability to grow. There are millions stuck in immature states of minds. They are led by their feelings and emotions. They find themselves in bad situations over and over again.

You can do whatever you set your mind to do. Just because something appears hard doesn’t mean you can’t overcome the obstacle. Things that are new appears to be hard, that is normal. However, never be afraid to challenge yourself. Never be afraid to try something different. A lot of people complain about their lives and their situations, yet they do nothing about it. You can’t expect to reap the benefit of another person’s labor when you’re not laboring for yourself! Nothing comes easy and it definitely won’t always be good. In this life we must take the good, with the bad, and the ugly. We will go in and out of situations, because our lives are like hills and valleys. Troubles come, but they will also go in time. Stop being your worst enemy and your own worst problem! Love yourself and live your life to the fullest! If you have to stand alone, it’s okay love yourself through the midst of it and remember this is your life, it belongs to no one else! I challenge you to make a change!

Signs Are Ignored, But Still Exist

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It’s a shame the situations we willfully put ourselves in. I am including myself, because once upon a time I did it too, but thank God I learnt better and now do better. I’ve learned from every situation (good and the bad) in my life. It taught me what to accept and what not to accept. I clearly see pass feelings and emotions. It’s takes loving self and growth to get to such a point. When a person wants to change they will do it!

I keep reminding myself maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age. People make many bad decisions based on the state of mind they’re in. It’s all related to what is the true you! You can hide it from others, but never from yourself. People can present themselves as one thing and by the way, most do. However, if you want to know the truth simply watch and the truth will present itself in some form or another. It is always seen through a person’s decisions, choices, and ultimately their actions.

You all know I’ve written countless times “we teach others how to treat us and you will always be treated how you’ve allowed.” That is fact! If you choose to get into a relationship with someone who is constantly giving you drama, drama is what you will get. If you get into a relationship in the wrong way, with the wrong person, for the wrong reason, drama is what you will get. Trust and believe drama is on the way!

To break it down further. If a person don’t love self they are bound to be led by their feelings. If a person is carrying a lifetime of old baggage, they are bound to be led by their feelings and emotions. If a person gets with someone who is already with someone, it’s because of inside issues. To be with someone and do things you are uncomfortable with and wouldn’t normally do it’s due to what’s inside. If you allow yourself to be abused, mistreated, or disrespected, it’s because of what’s inside. I can go on and on. The point I am trying to relay is, people treat you how you allow. People allow this because they too are carrying their own baggage they need to deal with. Theirs is affecting them and yours affecting you. Now what do you think it will be? Chaos and drama, yet people will swear it’s love, when love hasn’t a thing to do with it.

People show you who they really are, sadly individuals fail to believe it. Signs are missed due to feeling and emotions. It all comes from negative states of mind people are trapped in and have become comfortable with. People find it difficult to see past their emotions and feelings until they find themselves drowning in a sea of chaos they willfully subjected themselves to. I know it’s a hard pill for many to swallow, yet it is still the truth! No one can change you or your situation other than you!

So many individuals get into relationships thinking they can change the other person. If they can’t change them they think they can save or fix them. You can’t save, fix, or change anyone; this includes your children, significant others, friends, family, or other people. One thing for certain is you can lose your peace, health, and strength in trying. It will leave you drained in more ways than one.

Stop loving people to death! They live and be who they choose to be while some of you die! I mean literally (stress, depression, suicide, etc) and if you don’t literally die you’re dead spiritually. You lose yourselves in trying to fix, save, or change other people. It’s nonsense! Know your worth and lay down boundaries and standards. You must first love you! When you love yourself you won’t allow anyone to bring unnecessary drama into your space/life!

There are a lot of people who get involved with individuals they swear they love and these individuals introduces them to drugs and alcohol. People are introduced to the streets, sexual immorality, and all kind of God forsaken things! Listen if you’re with someone who is introducing you to things which could devastate your life, you’re with the wrong person! Use common sense! No significant other is worth pain and drama in your life. Pain and drama goes hand in hand! Love has NOTHING at all to do with it. Getting involved with people who are bringing chaos in your life says a lot about you! It tells you something in your life needs fixing! To ignore it only adds to your internal issues. You’re trying to fix someone when you haven’t dealt with your own issues, now you’re dealing with those of the person you’re with as well. This is unnecessary stress and drama!

There are always signs! People don’t change into someone you don’t want to be with, they were already that way, but the signs were ignored, because you couldn’t see past your feelings and emotions. When things get unbearable, then and only then can people see the real deal; which was there all along! Unfortunately some people refuse to ever see the truth, because they can’t get past their feelings due to their states of mind. They make things solely about what they want and desire based on their feelings. They ignore the truth!

Blind by Feelings can Lead to a Deadly Outcome

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Yes, I am writing on this again. My daughter called me and told me someone who worked in her building was murdered by her boyfriend. The female went to the home they both had previously shared to retrieve her belongings and as soon as the guy answered the door, he shot her point blank in the face. This is so awful, sad, and could have been avoided.

I’ve always said and will continue to say is if you wait until things get bad in a relationship you may never get to leave. You may die in the relationship. Everyone has signs concerning our relationships, whether we adhere to them is another thing.

When initially starting a relationship people must first know who they are (self). You must first love yourself, know and understand the difference between your wants, desires, and needs. Most people don’t have a clue there are differences. When people don’t first love self, they are looking for something in somoene else that they don’t possess in self. They are led by emotions and feelings. They think because it looks good or feels good it is good for them. Wrong!! They are led solely by their flesh! They get into relationships with the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

People get into bad relationships thinking they can save or change the individaul. They think their sex is so great or whatever they’re offering is so great it will change the other person. No, it doesn’t work! You may give a person a reason to want to change, you may encourage them to change, but change ONLY occurs because the person needing to change decided it was time. If they change before they are ready they will ALWAYS revert back to who they really are, because the change was for you and not for them.

You can love a person with everything in you, it’s NOT enough if they’re an individual with a lot of issues. They need to work on self, therefore until they do they will ALWAYS have chaos following them where they go. You can’t fix, save, or change them. Those who get involved with these types of individuals oftentimes have their own issues as well. Let me put it this way. Those who stay definitely have their own issues. People who know who they are as individuals (self) will adhere to the signs and run for the hills!

I don’t care what you feel about a person, make sure you can see through the fog. People will ALWAYS in some form or fashion show you who they are and show you their tendencies early on. If you’re blind by your feelings and overwhelmed then you will most likely NOT see the signs staring you in the face! This is why people get into relationships for all the wrong reasons, with the wrong people, and in the wrong ways. They are being led by their thoughts and feelings about the person while missing all the signs the person is giving as to who they are.

People are cussed out, disrespected, physically assaulted, obssessed over, controlled early on, they are kept from other people, etc. etc. This isn’t love. Some individuals think it’s cute how a person goes crazy over them to the point of wanting to fight someone. They think it’s cute a person tells them what to wear, who they can and can’t be around, tell them what to do or demand them to do this or that. They think it’s cute how the person wants to spend all their time with them and not allow them around anyone else. They think the person playfully cursing them or smacking them is okay when they present it in a playful way. I can go on for days. These are signs of what’s to come. It is NOT LOVE! It’s a clear indication of what you can expect in the future.

The problem is many people stay; they try to work it out. Then they get to a point where they’ve stayed too long. The person is possessive, obsessive, controlling, and ALL THE ABOVE, now it’s a problem with leaving. People are afraid to leave because they know how the person will react. Some stay because they want security or they like what the person does for them, completely looking over the fact how they are treated. Many, many people have died in their unhealthy relationships when they shouldn’t have. They should have left long before the point of no return.

Stop being quick to tell a person where you live and other information you should keep to yourself until you really know who you’re dealing with. Stop being quick to have sex with people thinking it will make them want you; sex hasn’t EVER kept a relationship together. People will act according to what you tell them you want so they can give you exactly what you say you want TO GET YOU! The very thing you tell them you went through many will put you through, they will manipulate you into a relationship, because you allowed it before.

Both parties are to blame. They will be who they are, but you should always leave when you see potential for trouble. People show you who they are, but many think it’s a fluke, (a one time thing). NO it’s the real deal and many will see it! People show potential problems that individuals ignore! There are consequences of failing to adhere to the signs. People end up in miserably unhealthy and unhappy relationships or they end up dead!

Not every person with issues will allow nonsense in their lives. Some people despite their many issues still has sense enough to walk away. Thank God! However, there are a lot of people who won’t walk away. They stay and endure unnecessary drama from individauls they think they love.

People must wake up!!! Deal with your many issues before getting into relationships. Face your problems and work them out, because your problems and your significant other problems together can be a ticking time bomb! People with a lot of unresolved issues ends up with other people with unresolved issues. People are eager and some desperate for love, when they don’t really love self. People will treat you EXACTLY how you allow.

Holding on to the Past Affects Your Present

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Too many people do this! Many people focus on what has happened. Many people live this way entertaining a life long pity party. They can’t move forward, because they are stuck in the past. A past that no longer exists! It’s true! I’m not ever going to say the past didn’t exist or people didn’t go through what they’ve gone through. What I’m saying is the past itself is just that! It is gone! People must learn to stop giving power to the memories of their pasts. The more power you give to anything it controls you!

Many adults don’t give themselves chances to have the happy and fulfilled lives they should have, because they are fixated on what was! They’ve allowed the memories of their past experiences to control their possibilities for wonderful lives. They ruin their lives by their wrong ways of thinking. They are mad and angry over things that are long over. Hanging on to such junk is like drinking a bottle of liquid self destruction and expecting not to be affected by it.

It’s time people learn to let go of negative things. No matter who HAVE hurt you in the past, it’s you whose now hurting yourself. Your life is your life! All of us can choose to stay stuck or move on. Bitterness destroys!! The more power you give to negative thoughts the more they control you and keep you stuck in negative states of mind.

Some of you may say I don’t know or understand what you’ve gone through. You are correct, I don’t know! However, I know we all have a story we can tell. I do know and understand hurt, disappointment, unfairness, suffering, rejection, abuse, and many things that affects us. Although things may hurt us or even scar us, life goes on. Wounds heal if you stop picking at it! Pain subsides if you stop giving it power! Memories fade if you stop giving them life by constantly reliving them!

Feelings of hurt, pain, and suffering are universal. No one is exempt! People learn to move on by letting go. It’s 100% okay to feel the pain, however; when it defines you and controls your life it’s no longer okay. People who hurt people; are hurt people. Get it? It’s a vicious cycle!

It’s easier for people to believe they have to remain the way they are then for them to believe they can change. No matter the chaos people get content in their old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. They know change means having to do something different. It means putting forth intentional efforts to be better! If you don’t choose change the only option is to remain the same. No matter who a person blames; the way an individual chooses to be is the individual’s choice.

Choosing to move on doesn’t negate the fact things happened. What it does is it puts the power back where it belongs; in your hands! Never allow someone or something power over you! Learn and gain strength from everything you go through, don’t let it render you powerless. The ONLY power anyone or anything has over you is the power you give!

Your Inside Issues Causes Chaos Outside

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This post is intended for anyone who can relate regardless of status. People must learn not to worship others. All the time and energy put into loving, praising, and worshipping other folks, a person should put into learning to love self. One thing most fail to realize is the people they worship have their individual issues too! They aren’t perfect and they seek the same things everyone else seeks (whatever they consider as peace, love, and happiness). It’s crazy how individuals are worshipped because of who people think they are!! Just because individuals are followed, researched, worshipped it doesn’t mean you know them. As I’ve said before, sometimes people want so badly to be someone when that someone they want to be wants to be someone else.

Many people will do anything to become known. People chase the fame, then they can’t handle it once they get it. People will do anything for what they think is love, only to find themselves in unbearable relationships. None of it it won’t or don’t change what’s inside. What’s inside always comes out if it’s not dealt with; and despite who you are it will ruin lives and relationships.

This is why many people succumb to drugs, alcohol, and a host of other things as a way to cope. People already have issues inside, yet they are chasing fame or trying to maintain their fame, recognition, approval, or most of all love. A lot of people become known only to find out it does absolutely nothing to change their life long issues. It’s the same with people chasing after love, they get what they assume is love and realize it’s not love at all. All of the pressures add to the issues they’ve already been dealing with. The notoriety or relationships doesn’t take away the pain inside. It doesn’t fill the void inside. What’s inside spoils everything else if it’s not attended to and will always affect an individual’s life.

People allow themselves to be put up on pedal stools they shouldn’t of ever been on, when they see it’s hard to stay on those pedal stools they can’t deal with it. They can’t deal with maintaining their pedal stools, rejection, or ridicule from the world, so they turn to different ways to cope. This normally intensifies their current issues.

People who are chasing after love find that trying to maintain their relationships is much harder than they ever imagined. It too intensifies their current issues causing them more stress and more problems.

People think the change of scenery, new people, new places, new positions, new statuses, money, relationships, etc, etc, will help. No, it won’t! You can have everything brand new it will not work when you’re still the old you!!!!!

I encourage anyone who is dealing with lifelong issues to work on resolving them before they pursue love or anything else in life. No one can hide from self. If the old you hasn’t changed, no matter what happens in your life your issues will spill out and wreak havoc. You can’t love anyone effectively if you don’t love yourself. You can’t be happy in any situation if you’re not happy with yourself. Those issues will always manifest and show up in your life whether famous, successful, average Joe, rich, or whomever or whatever you may be!