The Jaws of Fear

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It is very sad how people allow fear to land them in bad situations and relationships. People get into relationships they shouldn’t be in then they allow fear to keep them there. None of us can get back the time we given to being bound to and tied up by fear. In a relationship the other person may be a part of the issue, but the real problem is the person who allows fear to keep them where they shouldn’t be or where they don’t want to be. If you’re afraid to leave for ANY reason; I always say you’ve stayed too long. People fool themselves into believing they are/were blindsided. Keep lying to yourself! Individuals at some point always show you who they really are. It never fails! Many miss the signs because they are blind by their feelings and emotions. By the time they can see they are then bound by fear, (to leave, to stay, to start over, to be alone, etc).

I don’t care what it stems from fear is crippling and debilitating to anyone who gives in to it. It affects many facets of a person’s life when they allow fear to control them. There are many people stuck in unhappy and unhealthy relationships, on unhappy jobs, in careers they are unhappy with, afraid to change, afraid to try something different, afraid to be alone, afraid to start over, afraid of what others will say or do, etc, etc. They totally give in to fear. It controls them, keeping them stagnant and unable to move forward.

Whatever or whoever you give your power to means you have none. It means the person or thing controls you. Fear keeps people dependent instead independent. When you fear your fear is evident in your actions. This empowers others to maintain control over you! It gives power to the fear in you to keep you where you are. People develop anxiety etc due to fear! This can lead to other issues mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The ONLY person can change your situation is you. When you give your power to anything no matter what it is (person or thing), it becomes stronger than you! Stop giving what belongs to you away due to fear. Your power belongs to you! You were meant to be strong and the very best version of yourself! No one other than Jesus the Son and God the Father completes you, but you! If you choose not to believe then at least believe in yourself! You are the only person who can complete you!

Many people look for love and validation in others when they don’t have it in self! It oftentimes keep people where they are. People allow their issues and the fear of change to hold them down and back! Today is a new day. Tell fear no more! Talk it right on out of your life. Let it take all of the junk it has set up in your life keeping you stuck right along with it! Those who believe in Jesus allows the devil free reign when they give into fear, because God’s love conquers ALL fear! If you’re a believer then you must believe it! Otherwise you allow the devil victory in your life. He doesn’t have no more power than you give! That goes for the devil in ANY form he may appear!

Take back your power, take back your life!

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Seeking Everything Other Than Change

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This is the first evidence of disconnect. It is also evidence of a person who doesn’t love self or know who they are as an individual. Most people are focused on finding love or seeking something they think they want. They are blind or should I say oblivious to what they need. They move off of feelings and emotions due to their wrong ways of thinking. They are trapped by their own minds. Most are busy focusing on satisfying their wants moving from relationship to relationship doing the same things getting the same results failing to grasp why.

These types of individuals need to sit down somewhere and focus on self. Until a person makes peace with self and get self right they won’t ever live in peace with anyone else. This is one great reason many relationships fail. People are too busy trying to fix the other person when they need to fix self. They are focused on satisfying the other person and often place self on the back burner to do whatever they think it will take to make their relationship work.

No matter what a person does, says, how they look, what they have, who they are, etc, etc, it will NOT make someone love you. If you don’t love yourself, why do you think someone else will be so willing to love you? They may love what you do for them, but that’s totally different from loving you or being in love with you. Unfortunately many settle for this imitation of love and it is why many relationships are loveless. They get in relationships yet they feel alone and unhappy. This isn’t healthy for anyone!

People carry all of the woes from their pasts around like back packs. They keep stuffing junk in them as they maneuver through life. These things weigh them down, because instead of releasing and letting go they continue to carry their woes in and out of relationships coming out worse than when they started. They carry the burdens of their significant others, when truth is you can’t make anyone want to be with you or love you. You can’t fix a person, make them change, or save them. Individuals spend most of their lives trying to do this when they haven’t dealt with self.

When a person love self then self is who they will be very much aware of. They will guard their hearts and minds. They will be aware of potential problems and they will easily walk away from nonsense. They know they have control as to who they want to be with and therefore they won’t settle for someone simply because they feel something. They know the decision to be with someone goes beyond feelings, a person’s looks, status, and bank account.

When a person wears their heart on their sleeve they are moved by their emotions and feelings. It leads them into situations and relationships that are unhealthy. It further adds to the many issues individuals already have.

It’s up to each person what they choose in life. When people choose not to change then they can’t expect anything different than what they get in life. Stop looking for people to complete you when it’s only YOU who can perform that task in your life. You complete you by first loving self, forgiving self, and forgiving others, then moving on away from what has held you back. People waste much time seeking everything in others. They are seeking love, happiness, and a host of things not understanding it starts with self. Until they understand this, they will continue to live life as they always had; settling, chaotic, and unhappy.

Choosing to be a Slave to Sin

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Romans 6 1-8 please read it. People who claim to love Jesus must take a stand. You can’t continue to willfully sin and say you love Jesus. No none of us are perfect. However, we should live in a way pleasing to the Lord. He dwells in those who receive Him and live for Him and because of it if we choose we can gain a perfected holy way of living.

We all fall short, we all go through, etc. It doesn’t mean you’re choosing sinful ways. If you truly love Him you will live for Him. When a person truly fall in love with Jesus and choose to live for Him they don’t want to do what they once did. If a person doesn’t change then something is wrong. There is no way you can remain the same!

Too many people fall because they are already trying to stand on an unstable foundation. Foundations are unstable, because people are trying to have it both ways when it’s impossible. Folks don’t want to truly give up this world. When you choose Jesus there’s no way you can continue to live the same IF you do then you’re not truthfully living what you profess.

It’s not hard serving the Lord. Matter of fact the more you do the more you want to. What’s hard in the minds of many is giving up this world. You can’t give up your old ways without giving up this world.

The sad part is many people think they are fooling God, duh, NO you’re not! You may fool some people, but you sure aren’t fooling Jesus the Son nor God the Father. If you want to stay in the world, it’s your choice, but to pretend you love the Lord yet you are still in the world it gets you nowhere other than closer to hell! Playing games with your soul is very dangerous, because you don’t know the day nor the hour your time will be up. Don’t mess around and be out of chances to get it right the Creator.

People willfully choose their slavery mentalities. They are slaves to sin and they do it of free will. They are completely led by the lusts of their flesh seeking self gratification in many ways (sex, money, love, material things, etc, etc). People are more and more offended with the truth. If you’re offended with the Word of God, it only means in some way the truth affects you. It cuts like a knife. It resonates within! Many people feel this, but they continue to remain in the world.

Most times the only reason people are pretending to love the Lord is to please man. They try to make man think they are on the Lord’s side. They learn how to mock and mimic. Yet in their hearts and behind closed doors they are doing any and everything they want to even thought it’s against the Lord.

Remember anytime you’re not all in for Jesus it means you’re out! Period!

Being Grateful

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I know sometimes it’s hard for people to be grateful. You must understand the impact of being grateful, thankful, and showing gratitude have on your lives. I didn’t always understand, but thank God for opened eyes!

As I looked back over my life, it makes me completely and totally grateful for every situation whether good or bad. It fills me with an abundance of joy. People won’t ever understand it when they are looking through the eyes of pain. When a person continues to live their lives looking through eyes of pain they keep themselves stuck in place. They are giving power to their situations and it prevents them from moving forward in life.

Nothing can tear us down ripping through to our souls if we don’t give it permission and power to do so. It may sounds outlandish, but I assure you it’s true. People must get better perspectives on things. You control how things affect you. What happens or has happened just simply happens. Some of it we can control while a lot of it we can’t. Regardless, how we allow it to affect our lives determines how it will affect our lives (get it)!

Through every obstacle, trial-error-tribulation, hard times, the good, the bad, and the ugly OR whatever you choose to label it, be grateful!

I promise you the tough lessons in life is what gives you what you need to grow and flourish. It gives you what you need to mature. It teaches you who you really are. It shows you how strong you are. It teaches you what you will or will not allow. It teaches you what you like and dislike. It teaches you the difference between wants and needs. It teaches you everything that looks good isn’t good for you. It teaches you nothing holds a relationship together other than effective communication and true love. It teaches you what others say to you or about you has no affect unless you choose for it too. It teaches you that you can choose to change or remain the same. it teaches you that in order to know how to love anyone and be happy, you must first love yourself and be happy with yourself. I can go on and on about what life lessons can teach us. Bottom line is if a person does not accept it within self for self they will continue to repeat the same things in life.

I know for a fact and without a shadow of a doubt it doesn’t just work for me, it works for anyone who believes. The only way in this life a person will live with peace within self is by not allowing the world (people and things) to control who they are, how they think, and how they feel. We must first love our self, forgive self, and re-gain power to free self from self.

If I acted like what I’ve gone through in this world I would be a complete mess. I chose to love me through it all. I chose to grow through it all. I chose to NOT give my power to people or things. I knew at an early age people will hurt you, but I also grew into the knowledge that they can only hurt you to the degree you allow.

People must learn anything and everything begins and ends with self. I’m speaking in terms of us living in this world as human beings. Reading my blogs you all know God, His Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are above everything to me, but next to it is myself. Every fiber in my being belongs to me and no one else. I may have came from someone else, but I am my own person. That is what I’m trying to convey here.

Individuals have for far too long given all of their power to others and to things (relationships, family, friends, material things, money, individuals, fame, fortune, statuses, titles, substances, alcohol, etc)when they have a choice not to. We teach others how to treat us! We give power to things to control us.

Whatever your experience has been, is, or will be always be grateful, because I promise you it is teaching you something for the better if you look at in differently. Most people look at it as bad, take it in as bad, and react badly to it, when we always have a choice to do otherwise.

You are wonderfully and uniquely made. What you possess only bellows to you, because it was only intended for you. I pray you decide for yourself to love you and become the best you, that you can be!

Is Your Mind Your Friend or Foe

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It is up to us what we choose. Millions of people are trapped in places they choose, but don’t necessarily want to be. When a person has a wrong way of thinking, then comes the wrongs ways of feeling and acting. People are stuck in pasts that no longer exist. Yes, the memories will be with us forever, but those memories do not have to dictate the rest of our lives. Those memories are residual effects of our pasts. We don’t have to be controlled by them. It’s how people allow the memories to affect them that’s causing the issues in their lives. It does nothing but keep people angry, bitter, hateful, jealous, envious, full of malice and strife, unhappy, depressed, etc, etc. No one can be happy with all of this junk in them. A person can dwell on the past all they want, but the truth is all anyone of has is the present. We can live it in or be lost trying to hold on to the past.

Nothing is really what it seems, because most people distort the truth according to how they perceive things. Normally our perceptions aren’t true reality, because it’s tainted by the way we think. If a person is thinking negatively they are thinking the wrong way, which affects everything in the person’s life.

Take a moment to think about your life. Think about where you are at this point. Whether good or bad, think about what has helped shaped you to become who or what you are. Why do you think you’re the way you are? It all goes back to how you think about things. Negative thinking can’t produce positive things. People can pretend all day, the truth always wins. It always appears. Do you know why? It’s because what you give the most power to will prevail no matter how you try to hide it. It shows up in the things you do whether you think they are done in secret or if done outwardly.

Many people are stuck due to their mental states without realizing their biggest problem is self. They are sabotaging their own lives due to how they think. If you’re always focusing on negative thoughts they will take over, then the feelings and actions will soon to follow. This way of thinking blocks many people from becoming the best individuals they can possibly be. This way of thinking keeps people held in captivity, bound, and stuck. This is why people are repeating things from generations to generations. This is why people are doing the same things year end and year out. They do not change their ways of thinking. As I’ve said many times if you don’t change your ways of thinking the only option left is to remain the same! Again I ask, is your mind your friend or foe? You may fool me or someone else, but you will NEVER fool yourself! We are about to enter into another year, the year 2019! Will you choose to change or remain the same?

How do you Know if you Love Yourself

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It is always shown in how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you! Sometimes people don’t realize they don’t love self. They actually think they do. When you allow foolishness in your life, there is a problem with you! You may not want to accept this truth, but it’s still the truth.

A lot of times a person don’t want to spend time with self, but they think other people should want to be with them. You must learn to spend time with self. Alone time teaches you EXACTLY who or what you are! You know you better than anyone else. When no one else is around, it leaves you with who you really are! Either you grow to be a better person or you choose to stay the same. It depends on you! It’s a decision only you can make for yourself!

You can fake and pretend with other people, but you know the real you! You can run and hide from folks, but you can’t from yourself. There are many things in life that happens to us involuntarily. We didn’t ask for it, but it happened. No matter what it is or who was involved it doesn’t define who we are or who we become unless we allow it.

We must learn to love self despite of anything and everything! When we do it changes the course of our lives. It opens our eyes to the truth. We see things differently, because we think differently. Junk you used to carry around you will let go. Junk you used to take you will no longer take.

Life is about you! It’s not about what others do, say, or act. It’s about how you let those things affect you! People can’t crush your soul if you don’t allow them too. They can’t take your power if you don’t give it. When you learn to love yourself it’s a game changer!

The problem I’ve found with many people is they lean and depend on others too much. They give people their power by seeking happiness, love, peace, and joy in those people. This can have devastating results! If you’ve lived long enough then you should know the one’s you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the most if you allow. No one can possess your power if you didn’t freely give it for them to possess. People who hurt you are also individuals who are hurting in some form or another. Like you, they too need to learn to love self.

People will always have something to say. When you give your power they will talk about you, when you take back your power they will talk about you. Guess what? Let them talk, they will do it anyways! I guarantee you that you will feel much better and the joy, peace, love, and happiness you used to seek in others you will find in yourself.

When you learn to love yourself people will see it in you. They will see the change. They will see your strength. They will know they can’t treat you any kind of way. They know they will have to move along with their shenanigans. Some will not want to be around you at all. They don’t like the change in you, because they are still unhappy with what’s inside of them. It’s okay, it’s your life not theirs. You will no longer base your happiness, peace, love, or joy on anyone other than yourself.

No one can love you if they don’t love self and you can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself. It never starts with the other person, it starts with you!

Anyone Putting You Down is Already There

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Think about it! Anybody who is always trying to hurt someone else is hurting. They have issues which has caused them to be they way they’ve become. It’s tough to always hear someone complaining or talking about other people. Sooner or later it gets old and you don’t want the negativity around you.

People point the finger and blame, before they attempt to deal with self. They will complain to anyone who will listen. They would rather be a victim than victorious. They are always negative and makes excuses for everything. People like this don’t understand they are fueling their own fires with their own negativity. They are doing it to self.

Anyone who chooses can change. No one is obligated to stay the same. No one should want to stay the same. People have free will to prosper and grow. Instead of choosing to change many individuals choose to remain the same. They will make every excuse under the sun as to why. The saying “misery loves company” is true. They choose to be the way they are, then they think other people want to deal with it. Well, they don’t, especially when individuals are trying to live positive lives.

If you’re doing the same things for the past years YOU NEED TO CHANGE! If you have the same mindset from previous years and your lifestyle is the same, YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. If you’re still angry, bitter, jealous, envious the other people aren’t the problem, you’re your own problem, YOU NEED TO CHANGE. There is no reason to be jealous, envious, or to hate on anyone at all! If you feel this way towards anyone you’re someone who needs to look inside of yourself. Something is wrong inside to make you feel this way towards other people.

Don’t hate on anyone else for choosing to change. Don’t hate on anyone else for choosing to do something different! Don’t hate on anyone for choosing to do better for self. Don’t hate on anyone who chose to not allow their past to define them. Remember, if you choose not to change you will remain the same. It’s no one’s fault or decision but yours, you the individual! Take the time and energy you’re putting in to disliking and hating on other people into making a positive change in self! Don’t try to project your pain onto other people. Deal with your issues and stop trying to put others down, because you feel bad about yourself. Some people constantly try to put down others when they themselves are in the pit! They think it will cause other people to feel the way they feel. Too many people do this!

Never let people tear you down! Never let what other people think of someone to cause you to feel the same way. Get to know people for yourself. Don’t partake in this type of behavior. If you find yourself doing so, you need to look at yourself.

One thing I can’t stand is for people to talk about other folks when they clearly need to deal with their own inner issues. No one should intentionally try to down anyone else. If people would take the time to deal with who they really are, they will see most times they are their own problem! They will see they ARE the problem!