Being Grateful

Standard

I know sometimes it’s hard for people to be grateful. You must understand the impact of being grateful, thankful, and showing gratitude have on your lives. I didn’t always understand, but thank God for opened eyes!

As I looked back over my life, it makes me completely and totally grateful for every situation whether good or bad. It fills me with an abundance of joy. People won’t ever understand it when they are looking through the eyes of pain. When a person continues to live their lives looking through eyes of pain they keep themselves stuck in place. They are giving power to their situations and it prevents them from moving forward in life.

Nothing can tear us down ripping through to our souls if we don’t give it permission and power to do so. It may sounds outlandish, but I assure you it’s true. People must get better perspectives on things. You control how things affect you. What happens or has happened just simply happens. Some of it we can control while a lot of it we can’t. Regardless, how we allow it to affect our lives determines how it will affect our lives (get it)!

Through every obstacle, trial-error-tribulation, hard times, the good, the bad, and the ugly OR whatever you choose to label it, be grateful!

I promise you the tough lessons in life is what gives you what you need to grow and flourish. It gives you what you need to mature. It teaches you who you really are. It shows you how strong you are. It teaches you what you will or will not allow. It teaches you what you like and dislike. It teaches you the difference between wants and needs. It teaches you everything that looks good isn’t good for you. It teaches you nothing holds a relationship together other than effective communication and true love. It teaches you what others say to you or about you has no affect unless you choose for it too. It teaches you that you can choose to change or remain the same. it teaches you that in order to know how to love anyone and be happy, you must first love yourself and be happy with yourself. I can go on and on about what life lessons can teach us. Bottom line is if a person does not accept it within self for self they will continue to repeat the same things in life.

I know for a fact and without a shadow of a doubt it doesn’t just work for me, it works for anyone who believes. The only way in this life a person will live with peace within self is by not allowing the world (people and things) to control who they are, how they think, and how they feel. We must first love our self, forgive self, and re-gain power to free self from self.

If I acted like what I’ve gone through in this world I would be a complete mess. I chose to love me through it all. I chose to grow through it all. I chose to NOT give my power to people or things. I knew at an early age people will hurt you, but I also grew into the knowledge that they can only hurt you to the degree you allow.

People must learn anything and everything begins and ends with self. I’m speaking in terms of us living in this world as human beings. Reading my blogs you all know God, His Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are above everything to me, but next to it is myself. Every fiber in my being belongs to me and no one else. I may have came from someone else, but I am my own person. That is what I’m trying to convey here.

Individuals have for far too long given all of their power to others and to things (relationships, family, friends, material things, money, individuals, fame, fortune, statuses, titles, substances, alcohol, etc)when they have a choice not to. We teach others how to treat us! We give power to things to control us.

Whatever your experience has been, is, or will be always be grateful, because I promise you it is teaching you something for the better if you look at in differently. Most people look at it as bad, take it in as bad, and react badly to it, when we always have a choice to do otherwise.

You are wonderfully and uniquely made. What you possess only bellows to you, because it was only intended for you. I pray you decide for yourself to love you and become the best you, that you can be!

Advertisements

Is Your Mind Your Friend or Foe

Standard

It is up to us what we choose. Millions of people are trapped in places they choose, but don’t necessarily want to be. When a person has a wrong way of thinking, then comes the wrongs ways of feeling and acting. People are stuck in pasts that no longer exist. Yes, the memories will be with us forever, but those memories do not have to dictate the rest of our lives. Those memories are residual effects of our pasts. We don’t have to be controlled by them. It’s how people allow the memories to affect them that’s causing the issues in their lives. It does nothing but keep people angry, bitter, hateful, jealous, envious, full of malice and strife, unhappy, depressed, etc, etc. No one can be happy with all of this junk in them. A person can dwell on the past all they want, but the truth is all anyone of has is the present. We can live it in or be lost trying to hold on to the past.

Nothing is really what it seems, because most people distort the truth according to how they perceive things. Normally our perceptions aren’t true reality, because it’s tainted by the way we think. If a person is thinking negatively they are thinking the wrong way, which affects everything in the person’s life.

Take a moment to think about your life. Think about where you are at this point. Whether good or bad, think about what has helped shaped you to become who or what you are. Why do you think you’re the way you are? It all goes back to how you think about things. Negative thinking can’t produce positive things. People can pretend all day, the truth always wins. It always appears. Do you know why? It’s because what you give the most power to will prevail no matter how you try to hide it. It shows up in the things you do whether you think they are done in secret or if done outwardly.

Many people are stuck due to their mental states without realizing their biggest problem is self. They are sabotaging their own lives due to how they think. If you’re always focusing on negative thoughts they will take over, then the feelings and actions will soon to follow. This way of thinking blocks many people from becoming the best individuals they can possibly be. This way of thinking keeps people held in captivity, bound, and stuck. This is why people are repeating things from generations to generations. This is why people are doing the same things year end and year out. They do not change their ways of thinking. As I’ve said many times if you don’t change your ways of thinking the only option left is to remain the same! Again I ask, is your mind your friend or foe? You may fool me or someone else, but you will NEVER fool yourself! We are about to enter into another year, the year 2019! Will you choose to change or remain the same?

How do you Know if you Love Yourself

Standard

It is always shown in how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you! Sometimes people don’t realize they don’t love self. They actually think they do. When you allow foolishness in your life, there is a problem with you! You may not want to accept this truth, but it’s still the truth.

A lot of times a person don’t want to spend time with self, but they think other people should want to be with them. You must learn to spend time with self. Alone time teaches you EXACTLY who or what you are! You know you better than anyone else. When no one else is around, it leaves you with who you really are! Either you grow to be a better person or you choose to stay the same. It depends on you! It’s a decision only you can make for yourself!

You can fake and pretend with other people, but you know the real you! You can run and hide from folks, but you can’t from yourself. There are many things in life that happens to us involuntarily. We didn’t ask for it, but it happened. No matter what it is or who was involved it doesn’t define who we are or who we become unless we allow it.

We must learn to love self despite of anything and everything! When we do it changes the course of our lives. It opens our eyes to the truth. We see things differently, because we think differently. Junk you used to carry around you will let go. Junk you used to take you will no longer take.

Life is about you! It’s not about what others do, say, or act. It’s about how you let those things affect you! People can’t crush your soul if you don’t allow them too. They can’t take your power if you don’t give it. When you learn to love yourself it’s a game changer!

The problem I’ve found with many people is they lean and depend on others too much. They give people their power by seeking happiness, love, peace, and joy in those people. This can have devastating results! If you’ve lived long enough then you should know the one’s you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the most if you allow. No one can possess your power if you didn’t freely give it for them to possess. People who hurt you are also individuals who are hurting in some form or another. Like you, they too need to learn to love self.

People will always have something to say. When you give your power they will talk about you, when you take back your power they will talk about you. Guess what? Let them talk, they will do it anyways! I guarantee you that you will feel much better and the joy, peace, love, and happiness you used to seek in others you will find in yourself.

When you learn to love yourself people will see it in you. They will see the change. They will see your strength. They will know they can’t treat you any kind of way. They know they will have to move along with their shenanigans. Some will not want to be around you at all. They don’t like the change in you, because they are still unhappy with what’s inside of them. It’s okay, it’s your life not theirs. You will no longer base your happiness, peace, love, or joy on anyone other than yourself.

No one can love you if they don’t love self and you can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself. It never starts with the other person, it starts with you!

Anyone Putting You Down is Already There

Standard

Think about it! Anybody who is always trying to hurt someone else is hurting. They have issues which has caused them to be they way they’ve become. It’s tough to always hear someone complaining or talking about other people. Sooner or later it gets old and you don’t want the negativity around you.

People point the finger and blame, before they attempt to deal with self. They will complain to anyone who will listen. They would rather be a victim than victorious. They are always negative and makes excuses for everything. People like this don’t understand they are fueling their own fires with their own negativity. They are doing it to self.

Anyone who chooses can change. No one is obligated to stay the same. No one should want to stay the same. People have free will to prosper and grow. Instead of choosing to change many individuals choose to remain the same. They will make every excuse under the sun as to why. The saying “misery loves company” is true. They choose to be the way they are, then they think other people want to deal with it. Well, they don’t, especially when individuals are trying to live positive lives.

If you’re doing the same things for the past years YOU NEED TO CHANGE! If you have the same mindset from previous years and your lifestyle is the same, YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. If you’re still angry, bitter, jealous, envious the other people aren’t the problem, you’re your own problem, YOU NEED TO CHANGE. There is no reason to be jealous, envious, or to hate on anyone at all! If you feel this way towards anyone you’re someone who needs to look inside of yourself. Something is wrong inside to make you feel this way towards other people.

Don’t hate on anyone else for choosing to change. Don’t hate on anyone else for choosing to do something different! Don’t hate on anyone for choosing to do better for self. Don’t hate on anyone who chose to not allow their past to define them. Remember, if you choose not to change you will remain the same. It’s no one’s fault or decision but yours, you the individual! Take the time and energy you’re putting in to disliking and hating on other people into making a positive change in self! Don’t try to project your pain onto other people. Deal with your issues and stop trying to put others down, because you feel bad about yourself. Some people constantly try to put down others when they themselves are in the pit! They think it will cause other people to feel the way they feel. Too many people do this!

Never let people tear you down! Never let what other people think of someone to cause you to feel the same way. Get to know people for yourself. Don’t partake in this type of behavior. If you find yourself doing so, you need to look at yourself.

One thing I can’t stand is for people to talk about other folks when they clearly need to deal with their own inner issues. No one should intentionally try to down anyone else. If people would take the time to deal with who they really are, they will see most times they are their own problem! They will see they ARE the problem!

Change Or Remain The Same It’s Up to You

Standard

In life many people settle. Some people make no efforts to change. They become content. They want to reap the benefits of others labor, while they stay in the same place OR they continue the old generational ways of doing things with no attempts to change. They envy other people because they don’t like who they are as individuals or they hate others, because in truth they hate self. I find if very sad!

Every one of us has our own individual lives to live. We can choose to waddle in pity, continue to carry the same torch, or we can choose to change the cards dealt to us. No matter the situation a person can change their life. It takes the need to change coupled with the desire to change. It takes willingness and consistency. It’s only as easy or hard as the individual choose to make it. Some people spend more time complaining and blaming others then they do putting forth effort to improve their own lives. Improvement can’t come unless change happens.

There are already life obstacles thrown in our way. People shouldn’t put added pressures on themselves or others due to their unwillingness to change. Too many people hold on to terrible things which keep them stuck and unable to move forward. In order to move forward, people must first deal with what’s causing stagnation in their lives. If you are filled with anger, rage, bitterness, envy, malice, hate, etc you’ve cause stagnation in your life. You can’t go through life weighed down if so it’s like trying to walk through quicksand. It’s impossible! People become stuck in one place.

One of the biggest problems I’ve found with a lot of people is they don’t even attempt to break their generational curses of wrong ways of thinking. You ever seen a supervisor or manager come on a job, instead of implementing change they get on the band wagon and carry on the same foolishness as the previous person in charge, it affects morale and work productivity. This is exactly how many choose to live their lives. They carry their wrong ways of thinking for a lifetime despite the pain it causes self and others. No matter how wrong, many people feel it’s easier to continue to be the way they’ve always been then to change. They become content and comfortable as the years roll by.

In reality it’s not easier, it’s harder and it’s evident by the chaos and destruction seen in their lives. I find selfishness and unwillingness to make an effort to change keep them bound in captivity by self. Many people don’t realize they’ve imprisoned themselves by their negative thought processes. People expect for you to put up with their foolishness. They think how they think, feel, and act is okay when it’s not. These types of people don’t realize they are their own problem and in their own way. They miss out on things in life, because they refuse to change their ways. Many continue to carry hatred, slothfulness, bitterness, envy, and many more negative ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. If they aren’t things passed down from generation to generation they are things individual’s encountered early in life. Either way it has made them embrace negatives ways of thinking. It has caused them chaos and negative states of mind. It all inhibits an individual’s ability to grow!

People of all walks of like are this way. It’s universal! No one can change a person but the individual. People can be influenced, inspired, or motivated by others, but the true decision to change lies with the individual.

The old saying “when you know better you do better.” It’s a lie!! There are plenty people who know better but do NOT choose to do better. This is extremely sad! These types of people continue through life the same. They inflict pain and suffering on others, because it’s what they have bottled up inside. You can’t teach or love it away. The person must choose change for self.

Excuses Won’t Matter or Work

Standard

This past weekend I was looking at some videos sent to me on some so called pastors. Yes, I will say so-called, they are the ones who call themselves pastors, but they aren’t called of God. How do I know? I know because when you’re living for the Lord and you’re called you won’t be doing what you once did and on top of it; making excuses for what you’re doing. Those who are on Jesus’s side are not trying to please man and they certainly don’t use excuses for why they are still doing worldly things. Only people who are still in the world display such behavior. It won’t get you off the hook. You will pay for the choices you make.

Judging, this normally comes out of the mouth of those who are still in the world, but always making excuse for self and those like them. When serving Jesus, you’re either in or out. There’s none of the other stuff. If people are trying to give people encouragement, enlightment, motivation, insight, etc to do a self examination it is not judging. It is not judging to call people out on their bull, especially in relation to the Word of God. Only those who are not doing what thus saith the Lord complains it’s judging. Those excuses will not give you a go for going to Heaven. It will give you an exit the other way!

He’s still a man. This irks me! It has nothing to do with a man being a man when serving God. Flesh is flesh, period, and it’s what most are led by. People want to make excuses for men and women who are still doing worldly things. Listen, if you’re on Jesus side and you really love Him the way you profess, then you will do what’s right when that ole devil try to make you do wrong. You will not be led by your flesh. Those who are easily led by their flesh makes excuses for what they do. Accept who you really are when you’re still doing worldly things. You do it because you’re still in the world, point blank! Those who are making excuses for people doing wrong by blaming they are still flesh and bone are people who are also in the world and doing worldly things. Children of God know better! They don’t allow the flesh to lead them. They know they have a certain criteria they must live by and they won’t allow anyone or anything to hinder their walk with the Lord. It’s sad when people make excuses for themselves or for others who are outwardly doing wrong with no regards of their salvation. You can’t serve God and do what the world does, you just can’t!

Another excuse will land many in hell is “no one’s perfect.” This is an excuse to keep doing wrong, but I tell you one thing it won’t work when standing before the Lord. We are made in His image, therefore we are capable of doing right, making right choices, and living holy lives. It’s not forced, but if you live for Him you must want it and you must take on the characteristics of a changed individual. There’s absolutely no other way! You have to be born again, you must be changed from the ways of the world (the ways you used to be). People can’t continue to use the crutch of not being perfect, they will find themselves hobbling and wobbling right on into hell (you and your crutch). This crutch will not save you from hell!

I don’t care what anyone says if you’ve made up your mind and you are on the Lord’s side than your life will be a reflection of it. No one or nothing will influence or coerce you into going against God the Father, His Son Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. ALL aspects of your walk will change. Honestly I don’t know what the problem is that prevents people from living right other than THEY JUST DON’T WANT TO! I’ve never ever once looked back into the world. I’ve never wanted to. I’ve had plenty of temptations, but I’ve never succumbed to any. I live to live again. I live to see my Jesus face and not just for when I stand before Him, but to reign with Him forever, that is my goal! I don’t give in to my flesh, because I know the tricks of the enemy. I call ole satan out for who he is, every single time! I don’t care how he comes, you have to put him in his place! The more you do this, the stronger you will become and the more power and anointing you will have in your life. You have power and authority by Jesus Christ, use it!

The Bible says “He’s coming in the twinkling of an eye.” We’ve seen it over and over in the lives of others, yet people are still acting as if it doesn’t apply to them. It applies to you, you, you, and me! No one is exempt. He’s coming back for each and every one of us. If your house isn’t in order then you’ve made your choice. If He catches you with your work undone, then you made your choice. If He comes and you’re still doing what the world does, then you’ve made your choice. If He comes and you’re still using people are judging you as an excuse, then you’ve made your choice. If He comes and you’re still using not being perfect as an excuse, then you’ve made your choice. If He comes and you haven’t chosen Him, then you’ve made your choice. The decision is up to each of us, it’s not forced. We have to want to serve him of free will! Remember, your excuses won’t matter or work!

Loving to the Point of Losing Yourself

Standard

Some people may not admit it, but I know a lot of people find themselves in this type of situation. It is unhealthy! If you lose yourself in someone the only reason a person does this is because they’ve never really found self. People who don’t know the difference between wants and needs are people who don’t know what’s right for them. Oftentimes they are people who don’t understand what love is and what it isn’t. They seek love in all the wrong ways, with all the wrong people, and wrong the places. They end up in unhealthy and sometimes downright dangerous relationships.

I’ve met a tremendous amount of people who have told me they were deep into their significant other until they lost sight of who they were. Some went off into the deep end doing things they never wanted to do and acting ways out of the norm only to appease their significant other. Many people get lost trying to save or fix their significant others. If you’re trying to save or fix someone then it’s obvious you have things to work out within yourself.

Many individuals give up their hopes and dreams to help their significant others to obtain theirs. Nothing is wrong with supporting your significant other, but you should never give up your dreams to do so. There are many people who end up separating after their significant others has obtained their goals and the person left behind feels lost and brokenhearted. It’s what you signed up for, because you can change your situation anytime you choose!

I’ve written and said many times a person can definitely lose self trying to be in an unhealthy relationship with someone else. There are many people who seek love from others, yet they don’t love self. What sense does that make? They look pass all the signs of potential problems because they are led by their feelings and emotions. They are dead set on trying to fix or save the one they are with. People have lost their sanity and health trying to make it work with toxic and broken individuals. It compiles their own problems with the problems of their significant other. If you find yourself in this type of relationship re-examine yourself by looking inward to figure out why you’re putting yourself through it. You can’t fix or save anyone, especially if they’re not ready to change!

A person who loves self will not tolerate any unnecessary chaos or discord in their lives. They love self enough to walk away from people who bring toxicity and negativity their way. They look past looks, material things, statuses, etc. They understand a peaceful mind is priceless! They aren’t trying to save, fix, teach, or raise no adult! People will be treated how allowed. If you take crap, crap is what you will get! Period!

You can’t make a person want to change no matter how much you love them. People have to want to change their negative states of mind. They must want to become better individuals NOT because of you, but because it’s what they need in their life with or without you! Individual’s who change for other people will most likely revert back to who they really are once they’ve gotten comfortable enough in the relationship. The signs will be present, but unfortunately the person who is busy and fixated on trying to save or fix misses the signs until they become drained and overwhelmed with it all.

The greatest teacher in my life has been experience. Ooooweee! There are some things I am so thankful I went through, because it taught me never EVER do it again. I learn from everything. I know a lot of people don’t, they keep going through the same things with the same types of people. It’s because they aren’t ready to change. You need to change from the person who is always trying to fix and save just as much as the person you’re trying to save or fix. If not you will always continue to have chaos in your life and relationships!

When you continue to accept discord and chaos stop pointing the finger. The other person may very well be a part of the problem, but you’re the biggest problem, because no one can dictate your life unless you allow. If you allow chaos and discord, guess what? You will get it! Don’t allow anyone to cause you to stress out to the point of losing your mind and health. People end up on psychotropic medications due to stress, anxiety, depression, fear, hopelessness, etc, etc. This happens because people lose self in trying to love someone healthy. You can’t do it anyways, but especially when you’re in an unhealthy state of mind yourself. People must want to change, be willing to change, and put in the time and effort to do so! You can’t do it for them no matter how much you love them.