You Signed Up For It

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Many people are okay with their significant others cheating as long as they come home. Bull crap and they must be nuts!! Some people take this stance when it comes to their significant others and I think it’s absolutely stupid. This shows signs of desperation and insecurities.  As long as the green light is green and you are okay with it, they will proceed.

I understand loving someone and being in love with that person, however if they are trying to “have their cake and eat it too”, there’s a problem. Too many people settle with cheating. If you’re a person who is okay with being cheated on then something is wrong with you! A person will do to you whatever you take and allow.

Some people are okay with it, because they don’t want to start over, be alone, or lose their benefits (money, material things, place to stay, etc). Benefits for some is sex, shallow, but true! Starting over is tough, but it’s not the end of the world. If you can’t be alone with yourself, it indicates you don’t love yourself for some reason/s. Individual’s such as this need to deal with their own issues (first). If you have your own you wouldn’t have to worry about losing what someone else has afforded you.

I’m not suggesting to anyone to leave their relationships, what I am trying to relay is if you act as if being cheated on is okay, this attitude does nothing to help your situation. If you’re a person who is okay with it, then it CLEARLY says something is wrong with you. No woman or man should be okay with it. When I hear people say I’m okay as long as he/she comes home. I literally want to shake some sense into their heads.

If you truly love someone and are in love with that individual, there’s no way on earth you’re okay with them sleeping with or being with someone else. You can say it all day, but in your heart, you know it’s a lie. People say it’s okay, because they know their significant others will do it regardless, because it’s the foundation they have built in their relationships.

People don’t wake up and decide to cheat, they were already cheating in some capacity. There are far too many who allow this behavior from the start. In my opinion you nip it in the bud from the gate! People cheat not because they hate who they are with, but because of what’s inside of them individually. They are led by the dark part of who they are. They have issues they need to deal with within themselves. They tell whoever they are with they love them, however; truth is they don’t know what love is. If they did they certainly wouldn’t cheat on their significant others. It’s not about being in love, it’s about self gratification and seeking something outside of what they already have; despite the risks.

Synopsis of Cheaters and Those who accept it

If you accept a cheater then you’re just as messed up as the cheater. Something is wrong with both of these types of individuals. Many people get into relationships with those who are already in relationships with other people, SOMETHING IS WRONG with anyone who does this!  Trust me, the very thing that made you smile will make you cry later.

Some men and women leave their significant others for the OTHER  person ONLY to cheat on the OTHER person as well who by the way acts surprised when they are being cheated on (really)!! It’s EXACTLY what was signed up for by you!

If from the start you continued in a relationship with someone who was cheating on you, then you knew what you were signing up for.

If you are okay with your significant other being in a commitment, but not committed, then you will get from him or her exactly what you signed up for.

The moral of this post is as I’ve written and stated many times; people do to you what you allow and what you accept. If you don’t value and respect yourselves then don’t expect for anyone else to. Wake up people and see the truth. Most people cause their own heartaches and headaches by signing up for bull crap! If you’re led by what you’re feeling and not looking at the big picture, you will suffer the consequences of your actions. Everything that looks, tastes, or feel good isn’t always good for you. If it belongs to someone else, then it doesn’t belong to you and you shouldn’t want or desire it! If you do then you need to look at the man or woman in the mirror and deal with him or her, because something is wrong!

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Relationships Normally End How They Begin

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I’ve written on this subject before, however I thought I would refresh some memories. Most relationships end according to how they begin. Many people get into relationship by cheating with someone who is already in a relationship. Oftentimes these are married people cheating on their mates.

It doesn’t matter if your the cheater or the one the cheater is cheating with, you’re both immature and wrong. A lot of times the cheater and the one he or she cheated with end up married. To no surprise they end up divorced later down the road, because of the same reasons they got together. Someone else came along (just as they did) and cheated with their spouse (or girlfriend/boyfriend). What do people think? They think they can wreck homes and all kinds of mess and then live in marital bliss? No it doesn’t work like that and Karma will bite them dead in the butt. You can do wrong and get by, but you won’t get away! It’s coming right back to you. Crazy to me how some people are so devastated when they’re on the receiving, but when they were cheating with the married individual they didn’t care the individual was married. It all seems to matter when they’re being cheated on.

The moral to this post is if you meet someone and you find yourself attracted to someone else’s man or woman, GET AWAY from them. If they are in a relationship of ANY kind, please don’t make an immature decision to pursue this relationship. If you do I promise you will suffer the consequences of your actions. What you do to others will come back to you! Think about what you’re doing. We all have the control as to who we fall in love with or who we choose to be with. When people choose other people’s significant others they’ve crossed the line. Nothing good will come to them! It may seem to work out, but it doesn’t last and you will find yourself in the same position you put someone else in (cheated on).

People who cheat and those who get into relationships with them are people who have no morals or values, they lack integrity, they are immature, they lack honesty, and they don’t know have a clue about commitment. What they give they will  eventually get! That’s how life works. If you start out wrong, it will end wrong. This doesn’t only pertain to cheating, it pertains to anything. If people get into relationships for all of the wrong reasons, whatever reason they got into the relationship will most likely be the very reason they want to leave it.

People are blind by their thoughts and feelings. They are led blindly and foolishly into relationships which are clearly not good for them. They always end up suffering the consequences of their actions. Sadly this means death for many (literally) whether physically, mentally, or emotionally). It is ALWAYS a personal choice to cheat, to be with a married individual, or to stay with a cheater. It’s always a personal choice as to the individual we become involved with. People see signs, but they ignore them. People are led by their emotions and because of it will ALWAYS suffer the consequences of their actions.

 

FOLLOWING YOUR HEART WHEN IT ALREADY BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE

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Yes, you read it right! People are doing this every single day. When a person is already in a committed relationship WHY pursue someone else? If a person isn’t happy with whom they’re with, FIX it or move on, but don’t complicate things by getting into another relationship while you’re already with someone else. If you’re NOT willing to be faithful the relationship should end before it begins.

Oftentimes the problem lies in the meaning of commitment, because one person may think it’s a committed relationship, the other person may not! These days and times a ring and marriage means nothing to many. Commitment seems to be falling by the wayside; which is a very sad thing. People know what commitment means, but because of who individuals really are they can’t live up to it. You can’t fix a problem by adding to the problem. It only makes the problem worse.

If you are with someone married or not, commitment is commitment. If you are looking for something on the outside you will most likely find it. If you allow another person to cloud your judgment it’s really NOT them, it’s you. You have allowed your heart to lead you somewhere you shouldn’t be. It’s clear you’re not thinking right, because if you were you wouldn’t entertain or pursue thoughts of another person. There are many who are in relationships, but they shouldn’t be and they know it. They know who they really are and what they really want. Yet many continue to get into and stay in relationships for the wrong reasons.

It’s easy to be faithful, but you can’t if you aren’t trying to be; and that’s the bottom line! Some people go after what they desire at all cost, because they are in their feelings and riding on waves of emotions, but they’re not using good judgment at all. Basically they have lost focus and are fixated on self-gratification. These are selfish people. They don’t truly consider the affect messing around with someone else will have on their current relationships. All they want is the other person. Most don’t really consider the consequences until it’s too late.

Not every man cheats and not every woman cheats. Those who do are people who have insecurities, issues, and have NOT matured. They’re still trying to light their matches at both ends. Well eventually people like this will get burnt! A couple of good movies to watch are “A Thin Line Between Love and Hate, Tyler Perry’s “Temptation” and “Unfaithful.”  I referenced these movies, because NOT only do people end up with more than they bargained for from the person they’re cheating ON, they end up with more than they bargained for from the ones they’re cheating WITH.

Those who are cheated on mustn’t allow it to devastate and destroy their lives. If people accept the signs that are always present, it’s shouldn’t be a shock. It’s a shock to those who are living with their “eyes wide shut.” You can ignore or pretend it’s not happening, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t. It’s doesn’t matter how much you love him or her if they don’t love and respect you and the relationship in the same way ;there will be big issues in the relationship. Your love for him or her will NOT make them faithful to you.

One thing I’ve learned in life is that people give every ounce of themselves to other people to the point that they almost can’t function without the other person (some can’t). I think this is NOT the way anyone should be towards another human being. Love them; but NOT more than you love yourself, IF you do you will accept and allow things that you shouldn’t. Remember, it’s not all about how you feel towards him or her; it’s also how they feel about and treat you. A person can say they love you all day, but the truth shows in their actions towards you. If you choose to ignore the truth, then you will ultimately suffer the consequences. As I’ve written many times before, if you allow yourself to be treated any type of way, that’s exactly how you will be treated.

SETTLING AS A SIDE PIECE

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All I will say is if the shoe fits wear it. You want to be the main one when you’re second in line. Why, why, why? Why do people settle for this? Why do you think you’re so special he/she will leave their spouse or girlfriend for you? Why would you want them to? Don’t you know if someone cheats with you, they will cheat on you? Stop allowing yourselves to be treated this way.

Some women and men both got the nerves to try an cause trauma for the significant other’s of the person they’re cheating with. This is absolutely wrong. You have no right to do this! Get your head out of the sand and face reality. If the man or woman you’re messing with is already in a relationship they’re off limits; whether they act it or not. People should have enough dignity and integrity that they think more of themselves then to be someone’s side piece. It means you’re second in line and you will always be for as long as you allow it.

An individual who’s in a relationship yet getting their kicks from their side piece is a person who is immature and needs to grow up. They’re not committed to the relationship they’re in and they certainly can’t commit to anyone else. If they’re cheating on their significant other they won’t be faithful to anyone else and that’s a fact.

I’ve said a million times and will continue to say; people will always do you exactly how you allow them too. If a person is foolish enough to get involved with an individual who’s already in a relationship the first person they need to look at and deal with is the one starting back at them in the mirror.

No matter how strong a TAKEN person comes on to you, get out of your emotions and see the truth staring you in the face. If you’re interested in someone you meet one of the FIRST questions should be are you married or in a relationship with someone. Don’t wait to allow yourself to get all mixed up by your emotions. This is something you need to address right away. If the answer is yes, you need to keep stepping.

Too many people out there are settling as side pieces. Most are only getting sex. Others get some material things here and there, but the man or woman goes home to their significant other. Then the side piece has the audacity to get upset and start drama when they can’t get the time, etc from the person they’re cheating with. They knew in the beginning what they were getting into. Individuals show the world how insecure and desperate they are when they get with someone who’s already involved with another person.

A lot of people get into these relationships but the individuals they’re with (mostly men) don’t want their side pieces giving up the goodies to anyone but him; while he’s getting the goodies wherever and whenever he can. They want to give just enough to the other woman to keep her wanting for more. This is child’s play! Ladies and gents stop settling for these roles. They get you no where but heart broken.

If they do it with you they will do it to you. They’ll mess with you and someone else while they’re yet in a relationship with their significant other. Why? It’s because they can’t be faithful. If they’re miserable at home then let them handle that, before they pull you into his or her drama. Love yourselves enough to avoid these type of situation. Stop allowing the emotions of your hearts to put you into situations you don’t want to be or should be in.

If someone approaches you don’t hesitate to ask them are they married or involved with someone. If the answer is yes, FORGET everything else (next thing comes the excuses), you run as fast as you can. Don’t let your heart get you messed up in the head and off focus, because of your emotions. If you ever been cheated on then you know how it feels, don’t do it to anyone else. Know your worth and value yourself. Respect yourself and your sister or brother.

May God bless you and may you grow more stronger and wiser every day.

THE REALITY OF TRYING TO LOVE TWO

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This post is for any man or woman who’s in a relationship with someone whose in another relationship with someone else at the same time. As I ALWAYS say; people do to you exactly what you allow. We show people how to treat us when we continue to be their doormats (in some form or another). If we take it they’ll dish it out.

I want you to understand something; if you’re in a relationship with your significant other and he or she claims to love you, yet there is someone else in the picture; it’s a lie. The reason I say it’s a lie is because no one can love two. They may think they can, but they cannot.

Both women and men need to STOP getting involved with individuals who are already in relationships. It’s selfish and demeaning to yourself to do so. You will be strung along as long as you allow. The person who is stringing you alone don’t love you or his or her significant other. They may have feelings for you both, but the ONLY one they love is his or herself. It is him or her who’s getting the satisfaction they seek. If you’re on the receiving end you’re only a pawn in their scheme of lies. You’re being used.

There are times when I know the truth isn’t known. What I mean is this; people get involved with someone but don’t really know the person is in a relationship with someone else. I believe the reason they don’t know is because they’re completely led by their hearts. Too much has to happen to keep up this façade and when people are lead by their hearts they will miss the big picture (the truth). They will see signs of the truth, but they won’t face it. They will go along with him or her even though they see signs of untruth.

People in these types of relationships are lied to, brought, used, completely disrespected, etc. They are missing the “big picture.”  The one on the outside who’s foolishly involved in the relationship may be in love with the user, but the user certainly isn’t in love with him or her. They are emotionally involved, but it’s not love.

Love is gentle, patient, honest, selfless, giving, loyal, dedicated, kind, etc. It is not lies, cheating, irresponsible, self gratification, sneaking, lustful, etc. etc. If someone loves you, they will love you and no other woman or man. He or she will be loyal to you and you alone. He or she wouldn’t dare bring someone else into the relationship to defile it. Those who do are selfish and immature. They are out to please his or herself and are not thinking about the devastation they bring to their current relationships.

People must have self respect when they do they will then respect other people and other people’s relationships. They won’t go there. If a man or woman gives you excuses about why they’re still with someone or why they aren’t happy at home; let it go into one ear and straight out the other! Don’t fall for it, because the fact remains THEY ARE STILL IN THE RELATIONSHIP. Period!! If they’re still in their current relationship and approaching someone else, they are playing a game. They are a liar and they CANNOT be trusted.

STOP being led by your hearts and loins. If someone is already in a relationship they are OFF LIMITS to everyone else. I don’t care how many lies of misery they tell. Their looks, what they have, or the position they hold shouldn’t tempt you to fall into their trap. They are OFF limits!! All they will bring into your life is pain and heartache. You will find yourself sad and in an unhappy place and it will be your fault, because you accepted it. If you didn’t know in the beginning but found out later, yet continued to stay in the relationship it’s still your fault. It’s your fault because you can’t control what he or she does, you can only control yourself, yet your choice was to stay.

Millions don’t want to accept the truth. The reason people don’t like the truth is because they don’t want to hear it. They want to keep doing what they do without any repercussions. They lack self respect, mental/spiritual maturity, and a host of other things.

People who are getting into other relationships while knowing he or she’s in a current one doesn’t care about anyone but his or herself UNTIL they’re caught. When a decision must be made this is when who they care most about comes to the surface. Oftentimes it’s their significant other and other times it’s the other person. Then there are those who will get caught and lie to the end or say they’re sorry and that it’s over, but as soon as the smoke clears they will start doing the same thing over again.

No one can love two at the same time. They’re in  self denial to think so. The thought of it alone is enough to show this type of person is all about his or herself. They will bring drama into the lives of all involved in the relationship. Don’t be a partaker of this mess!

Blessings to you and you!

SCENARIO’S (IT’S NO SECRET, YOU ALREADY KNEW)

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I bet many of you can relate to this post. Many of you are with or have been with individuals who knew you were EXACTLY how you are; yet they chose to be with you DESPITE of. They thought their love for you would somehow change you or save you from yourself. Now they have you and they can’t seem to stand you because of what they already knew. Most times they CLAIM they didn’t know. It’s no trick. They knew, but they were so in love until they decided of their own freewill to over look THE TRUTH. Which side of the coin are you? Did you get with someone despite of or did someone get with you despite of?

Many relationships suffer from issues individuals chose to accept in the courting phase. These issues go from the courting phase into the serious phase and on into marriages. It has happened forever, because people go entirely TOO MUCH by what they’re feeling instead of on the truth. They allow the feelings of their hearts to get them into relationships they later find they really didn’t want. People only realize the truth AFTER they open their eyes to the truth.

Scenario #1 Some women get married and their men love how strong and independent they are. They love their fire and passion for life, love, and standing firming on what they believe. A lot of these women are more assertive than their men and in the beginning the men love it. The men feel they have a good catch. For this post; the men with these women are passive and lack the initative of their women. Basically, in their relationships these women wear the pants so to speak. It was all good until the men come to the realization this is their reality. They also realize what their relationships are built on isn’t what will keep it together. They begin to loathe their women. Resentment and regret sets in on both sides. He sees her as pushy and controlling, she sees him as too passive, etc..etc. In this message I particularly stated women, but make no mistake; it goes both ways. Does this sound familiar? Both knew the truth, but chose to ignore it.

Scenario #2 You were very aware they had the tendency to sleep around, but you thought sex with you was out of this world and so unique that it’s enough to change him or her. Unfortunately by accepting their ways you found out it had no impact on them changing. Basically it showed them WHO YOU WERE and how they could treat you. He or she continued the same pattern, because by accepting it early on you let them know it was okay. The same thing you accepted in the beginning is what you will end up with. Now all you do is give him or her the blues about their indiscretions. Yet you already knew they were this way. Now that you got what you thought you wanted you find it’s not what you wanted after all.

Scenario #3 He or she treated you like crap before you got deeper into the relationship. They spoke to you and treated you in ways that were totally disrespectful and often in front of others, but you allowed blind love to lead you to believe they would change. Now after marriage you realize this is part of who they are and in fact things has gotten worse. This happens to so many couples. Anytime you accept crap from the start, it’s indeed what you’ll end up with.

Scenario #4 Being disrespected is bad enough, but many of you have also accepted abuse. You went on to exchange vows with someone you knew were already abusing you. They’ve verbally, physically, emotionally, etc abused you prior to marriage. You thought they would change, you pray they will change, you love them, but change doesn’t happen. These types of individuals become far worse than you ever imagined. The signs were there, but you chose to ignore them. Love isn’t blind at all, people are blind when it comes to love or what they think is love.

Scenario #5 He or she didn’t have as my mom would say back in the day “two pennies to rub together or anything to call their own.” Yet, you were so in love and infactuated with the idea of being in love you accepted them just the way they were. They were unmotivated and lazy, BUT they were so cute and good in bed. MISTAKE! Now you’re married and you’re tired and regretful, because they STILL won’t lift a finger to help out and now you cringe at the thought of sex with them. Holding down the household is all on you (no surprise, nothing changed) and it’s wearing you down and out. In the beginning you completely ignored this truth. Now you’re stuck with EXACTLY what you started out with.

Scenario 6 He or she had the player mentality. They flirted with anyone who seemed to enjoy it. They gawked at anyone they thought looked good (totally disrespecting you no matter where they were or who they were around). Although it used to get you upset, you accepted the behavior, because it was your man/woman and you loved them so much. You figured they were teasing, meant no harm, and you thought they would change. People must stop allowing others to do them any kind of way, because it’s exactly what will happen. Now you’re with someone you don’t trust and who you’re miserable and unhappy with. Some of you even feel it’s okay as long as they come home UNTIL you marry them. Then all of a sudden you tired of their behavior. Well, their behavior is something you shouldn’t ever accepted.

Scenario #7 The in laws can’t seem to keep their noses out of your affairs. Someone always has something to say. You may or may not say anything, because you love your significant other. The meddling causes arguments between the two of you, because your significant other won’t say anything their family. This scenario closely relates to people who are with momma boys and daddy girls or other family members they constantly allow in their relationship. A lot of relationships deal with this issue. Things like this has to be “nipped in the bud”, if not it will continue to cause disturbances in relationships. Some in laws are ruthless and if couples aren’t on one accord this can ruin relationships. It doesn’t only apply to in laws it applies to EX’S, and others. Everyone and I do mean everyone; should be put in their respectable places. It matters none IF your significant other has children by another person, NO ONE outside of the marital union should be an obstacle to you having a healthy relationship. If you take it from the start, you’re asking for things I guarantee you that you will come to dislike.

In, conclusion I seriously could go on for days on this one, because there are so many topics that comes into play. What I’m trying to say to you is STOP giving so much of yourselves yet getting nothing in return. Too many of you settle for crap in thinking it will change. Most likely it won’t. You’re no savior you can’t save anyone from their issues they have locked inside and allowing to ruin their lives. You can’t change anyone. An individual must want to change for his or herself. If you start a relationship taking foolishness from the other person BEFORE marriage. Guess what? It’s exactly what you will end up with.

You have to first know, love, and know how to treat yourself before you can love anyone else or truly know what kind of treatment is acceptable. If you get into relatioships for all of the wrong reasons or on feelings of emotions you will have some real tough issues on your hand.

I will say again, “the ONLY person you can change is you.” Looks, money, sex, position, status, what you have or what you can offer WILL not make another person be in love with you, treat you right, or make them change. If you show them it’s okay to treat you like crap, THEY WILL DO JUST THAT! If you don’t love yourself then crap is what you’ll accept because you won’t feel you deserve anything better. It’s not true!. It only means you have hings you need to work out within yourself, before you go falling in love with someone.

It’s so sad to see how many people are in horrible relationships when there were signs in EVERY one of them in the beginning showing the truth. People ignore the truth for many reasons. Being blind by love is only an EXCUSE! Today is the time for change, because remember; today is really all you have (right now).

Most relationships end the same way they start. What I mean is this; if a person was beat on, cheated on, or whatever; oftentimes it’s the same problem only intensified that will end the relationship. When I say end it doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. It can mean they’re still living together but yet completely separate. Unfortunately some of these relationships end in death, loss of mental peace, etc..etc.

Remember; this is the sugarfreeden, I’m not here to sugarcoat reality. I’ve known too many to have died in bad situations, because it is what they accepted in the beginning. I’ve known others to commit suicide or harm themselves due to stress added on to their own personal issues they’re dealing with.

People must accept the truth for what it is. Anytime you get into a relationship if you DON’T honestly look at the whole picture you will miss a lot. You will let a lot go, because you’re so into the other person. IF you do this, it is you who has issues you need to deal with. Step back and re-evaluate yourself. You deserve better for yourself and from anyone who is supposed to love you back. Your significant other will ALWAYS show you the truth by how they treat you. If you don’t accept the truth, IT’S NO ONE’S FAULT BUT YOURS!

TRUSTING SOMEONE WHO HAS CHEATED ON YOU

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The first thing I want to say is it is possible. I won’t even try to make excuses for people who cheat on their significant others. To me there’s no excuse. I don’t believe in it at all. Nothing just happens and it’s never a mistake. People willfully get into affairs (physical, emotional, or both) It’s not a fluke. It’s an intended and a willful act. Before people decide to cheat they should always put themselves in the shoes of their significant others. Could you handle it if it happened to you? If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out. You must always consider the consequences, because believe me; you will face them.

When you’re out cheating you don’t know what you’re getting into (especially when you’re cheating with random people). There are many true stories about people who get with sexy men or women who unknowing to them have AIDS or other diseases. You have sex with these people risking your life and the lives of your significant others.

Some of you end up with psychos who end up wreaking havoc in your lives and the lives of your loved ones. You ever seen a movie called “Fatal Attraction?” If you haven’t check it out! Then there are some of you who cheat with individuals who take you for everything you have. There are many types of scenarios I could mention. When you’re cheating you never know what you’re getting into. It may be all fun and games to you, but it may be a completely different story to the one you’re cheating with or cheating on.

However, through it all and despite of it all it is possible to move on and beyond it if individuals are willing. This post is for both the one who is finding it hard to trust again and for the ones who’ve cheated.

The biggest problem I’ve found with individuals learning to trust again is when the person who defiled the relationship by cheating says “I need for you to trust me,” knowing full well they’re still cheating. Some of these cheaters nag the heck out of their significant others to trust them. Why? Why ask for forgiveness and trust when you’re #1 still cheating, #2 not serious in your asking,  and # 3 you’re trying to force it?

Some cheaters cry their eyes out. You carry on like big babies pleading your sorry until the cows come home, yet you’re still cheating. You know you are! You have the gall to get mad when your significant other can’t seem to trust you. You will say things like, “if you can’t trust me we can’t keep going on like this, or I need for you to trust me.” Please! People like this have some nerves! You have no idea the pain you’ve caused. The only time you all seem to get it is when you’re on the receiving end of the situation. Get yourself together and straighten out your life. You don’t deserve to be trusted if you’re not doing right. Stop asking when you know you’re DEAD wrong! Stop causing pain to the one you’re supposed to love. Figure out why you’re the way you are and deal with your issues. This is the only way your relationship will work, you must change your ways.

Many of you know you’re not serious when you ask for forgiveness. You want trust without honesty. What I mean is, you want to be trusted, but you’re not willing to do right by your significant other. You’re not ready to give up what you’re doing. You’re still lying, deceiving, and cheating. If you don’t change you’re risking the possibility of losing what you have. You can’t move forward until you fix you.

Some of you give ultimatums. The nerve of you! This isn’t right! You cause the problem and then you turn around and give ultimatums when the other person is finding it hard to trust or believe in you. To trust again IS NOT on your terms or whenever you feel it’s time. You have to give the other person the opportunity to accept and deal with it. You don’t have the right to try an force it. You cheat, but then you turn around and try to tell your significant other it’s time to move on. You don’t want to hear or talk about it anymore. This isn’t right! You must give your significant other time to process it, deal with it, and heal. They have every right to decide if they will stay or leave your cheating butt behind.

Some of you won’t change your ways no matter what. You want to be forgiven, ONLY because you don’t want to hear about it anymore. IF you’re forgiven on YOUR terms it is putting the ball in your court. Your significant others has basically given you the power. You know you have the upper hand and you’re likely to continue cheating. You’re masters of manipulation. You’ve lied, begged, and plead so much you’re a master at it.

Sometimes people cheat and after realizing the devastation it has caused they will not cheat again. These are individuals who realized and accepted the consequences of their actions. They understood they were wrong and decided to never put their loved one through it again. Although you were wrong to cheat, I can still take my hat off to you for cleaning your act up. It may have cost some of you your relationships, but the most important thing is learning from it and never doing it again.

Often there are individuals who can’t seem to get past infidelity. It definitely takes time. A person has every right to take the time they need to deal with it. A lot to times individuals make decisions to leave their relationships. They don’t want to continue on with someone they can’t trust and who has defiled the relationship. On the other hand there are others who decide to stay. They accept what has happened, they deal with it and move on. Then you have those individuals who can’t seem to get over it. They claim to forgive, but they can’t let it go. If you say you forgive and you choose to stay you must be willing to move on. You can’t keep bringing it up every time the other person looks around. No matter how much it pains you, you must move on. There has to be a point where you either get over it or decide to move on away from the relationship. You CANNOT constantly bring it up, because you will further damage an already damaged relationship. Your relationship may as well be over, because it won’t work if you continue to bring up the affair.

Some of you are so desperate you will constantly endure infidelity in your relationships. You will act as if it’s your fault. It wasn’t you who cheated and you shouldn’t take the blame. Many cheaters will put the blame on you in order to take it off of them. However, when you constantly accept being cheated on it says a lot about you! You’re insecure and you have issues that have debilitated you. Your significant other know they can do whatever they want as long as they come home and throw you a bone every now and then. It’s so sad to see individuals who allow themselves to be treated so disrespectfully. Cheating is an issue within the cheater, but to constantly accept this type of treatment also shows you’re someone who has issues as well. As an individual it doesn’t matter who you are; you will be treated by others exactly how you allow. According to how you treat yourself, people know exactly how to treat you. You take foul treatment from others according to issues you have and allow to dictate your life.

A one time affair may or may not end the relationship. It doesn’t have to end the relationship IF the cheater never cheats again and is truly remorseful for what they’ve done. However, when a person doesn’t take in consideration how they’ve hurt you and they continue to cheat, this is another story. To me, this type of individual doesn’t deserve to constantly receive free passes. SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE! His or her feet must be held to the fire and they should have to deal with the consequences of their actions. It may mean them going to counseling or seeking some form of help. It may also mean existing the relationship. It’s the decision of the person being cheated on don’t let the other person make the decision for you.

There are many reasons people come up for cheating. The bottom line is people can make any excuse they want for cheating, they’re ALL wrong! There is no excuse for it. If you’re in a committed relationship you shouldn’t become involved with someone else. It takes two people to make a relationship work, but it only takes one of the two to mess it up. Some of you are trying to have the best of both worlds, but it just doesn’t work! If you can’t stay committed DO NOT COMMIT!