Closed Eyes Can Be Opened

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Many people are in bad unhealthy relationships. I’ve mentioned before in other posts how if people start relationships out wrong they will end wrong. Some people get together for all of wrong reasons. There will always be consequences for it.

When a person know who they are with are willing to do anything to be with them they will use it to their advantage. This type of person doesn’t care for who they are with and will use them until there’s nothing left, until the person wakes up, or both. Individuals involved in these types of relationships always end up even more unhappy. They are already unhappy, then they get with negative people who adds fuel to the fire. It’s the behavior of two broken people.

Some individuals love when they have power over others. They love manipulating, using, and trying to control who they are with. They normally play the game very well through manipulation; making who they are with think they are genuine. When individuals are blind by their feelings they believe the genuineness is real. This negative and wrong ways of thinking has many stuck in bad situations.

Over the years I’ve seen many people subject themselves to situations they could have avoided. However, due to their negative mindsets they repeatedly find themselves in bad situations and/or relationships. They are seeking love when they don’t know or understand what love is or what it isn’t. They want to be loved when they don’t love self.

When a person doesn’t love self they will accept or allow anything. They fall for whatever feels good. They accept abuse and disrespect. The sad part is they don’t want to hear the truth nor do they want to see it. People who’s around them see it and try to tell them, but they won’t listen until their eyes open.

The scenario changes when eyes are opened. When an individual no longer pours out all they have, things drastically changes. When people no longer aacept abuse, mistreatment, control, or disrespect it changes everything. Sometimes who they are with will be angry and oftentimes become even more disrespectful. There are those individuals who despite the fact the person eyes are opened will still try to use manipulation to keep him or her. This is because although they didn’t care for the person they cared about what the person done for them (sex, shelter, money, material things, help with a job or career, etc). Sometimes things can escalate into something bad.

Sometimes a person is beat into realization either physically, emotionally, or mentally by the person they genuinely care about. They finally realize it’s not a healthy relationship and they want out. They are forced to see the truth. They are forced to deal with self. It leads them to realizing they have self worth and they deserve better. Some people get to this point while others don’t.

If people would stop always gravitating towards negativity from their negative experiences in this life they would understand experience is truly the greatest teacher. When they can see this they can grow. Instead many people are fixated only on the negative. They move through life holding in the negativity from their negative experiences. It always land people in bad situations and relationships.

Learning to face your issues, forgive, love self, and move on in life allows people to mature and grow. It helps people to progress and move forward! If not people remain stuck where they are. They will continue in life going through the same cycles of dysfunction. Unfortunately many will stay this way, because they’ve been this way for so long. They choose to continue to be led by their feelings. They refuse to face the issues that have them bound. Truth is eyes can become open, but it’s up to the individual. When a person is sick and tired they will seek change.

Life Keeps On Rolling

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Sometimes you lose a loved one through death, breakup, or divorce, sometimes you refuse to let go of someone who doesn’t want you; sometimes they die, but you refuse to move on, sometimes although abused and controlled by someone due to inner issues you stay; sometimes despite it being the wrong person and wrong situation you still proceed, etc. I can go on and on. No matter the situation when a person can’t live without another person it’s time to look inward.

Regardless of what; a person must be able to move on. When a person can’t move on there is something inside blocking their ability to do so. Those who cannot move forward has other issues that has caused this inability. Most often this inability occurred long before the relationship.

There are far too many people who depend on their significant others or oftentimes other people and when they are no longer there they aren’t able to function. There have been some people so devastated they take their own lives or at least contemplate it. There are some people who fall into depression because they can’t move on. Then you have those who can’t deal with rejection and they will take the life of the person who they supposedly love/ed.

The first problem is giving your power to others. Depending on others for your happiness is the wrong choice for anyone to make. I think it’s a bad decision to sit back while your life is controlled by someone else. I don’t care who they are, how long you been together, or anything else! It’s foolish! I know people who had losses due to death and they are absolutely dysfunctional. They don’t know how to do anything on their own, because they gave all of the control to their significant other who has now passed away.

Some people give their power because they think it will make their relationships work, they think it’s love. Other times it’s because they have been bamboolzed by someone whose intent is to lure you into giving up control. It’s done subtly and because of it people don’t realize they’re controlled until it’s too late. I’ve spoken to people who are controlled like animals but they still refuse to move on, instead they stay. All of it is due to unresolved inner issues.

If you allow yourself to be controlled you have a problem. You have inside issues affecting your ability to make good decisions and choices. If you’re a person who is doing the controlling, the same goes for you. It’s a big problem whether it’s the taker or the giver. Inner issues must be dealt with in order for people to heal and receive the strength they need to grow and move forward.

A lot of people feel comfortable given their power to others. They think it’s a form of showing love. I will say again this is a bad choice any way you look at it. People treat you how you allow. If you solely depend on someone then how you’re treated is what you’ve allowed. You lay the foundation whether it leads to being controlled, abused, or whatever)! You’re your own problem! One thing you can count on is if you give your power it will be taken.

It’s okay to grieve; whether it’s because someone died or because of a separation or divorce. However, if you can’t function because of it then it is a problem. If you don’t know how to let go you’re your own problem. Life stops for no one, it keeps right on rolling. Those who won’t move on only causes self more unnecessary issues. The fixing starts within. No one can do it for you, only you can do it. People need to work on self before entering into relationships. Show me an unhealthy relationship I’ll show you unhealthy people. Period!

There are a lot of people who think they love self, but their decisions and choices tell the truth! Most have no clue of what love is yet they seek it with passion. People do many things due to brokenness. They don’t deal with past issues in order to heal, grow, and make better choices and decisions. Things won’t change until they do. When you heal it means growth has taken place. However, it cannot happen if people continue to go through the same things over and over never making change an option! These days and times people accept how they are as if it’s how they’re supposed to be; when it’s not! Instead of seeking better they resist change, willfully choosing their unhealthy cycles. They keep finding themselves in the same situations over and over. This will always happen until the discovery of self love is made.

People don’t understand what they do to self when they give others power and control over them. It can be very debilitating, crippling, and sometimes deadly. I’ve seen it time and time again. If I haven’t seen it I’ve at least heard of it. It’s not love! It’s not love for yourself or the other person. People will do to you what you allow. Learn to move on!

The majority of people are afraid to be alone or afraid to start over. Oftentimes it’s both! It’s sad when people don’t realize when they love self the rest doesn’t matter. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying being with someone can’t be a good thing. It can!!! I am saying if its over it’s over! If you love yourself you will understand, but if you’ve given away your power this truth is hard to embrace.

If you’re going to love someone start with yourself! In loving yourself it allows you to see what’s in your face. It allows you to understand your power and control belongs to you and no matter who; you won’t give it away. It allows you the ability to move on with your life if people die or if a breakup occurs. It’s not selfish to love yourself. It’s absolutely necessary!

IT’S ONLY FOR A SEASON

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This post is to encourage someone on today. Many people are sad and broken hearted, feeling as if the sun won’t shine again in their lives. I’m here to tell you, no matter what you’re going through it’s only for a season. Sometimes our season may be for an hour, or a day, week, month, or years. It’s still ONLY for a season.

Some of us don’t want to go through anything. We don’t want to have to deal with any misfortunate events in our lives, but this is a distorted way of thinking. It’s not reality. We all have to go through something at some point.

You may fall down, it doesn’t mean your out. Don’t allow what you’re going through to beat you into submission. If you submit, you lose control of the situation and the situation  begins to control you. Most people want to give up by giving completely in when all troubles are only temporary. How do I know? It’s because I’ve been there many times. You must learn not to allow ANY situation to negatively take control of your life.

A lot of times people are so engrossed with what they’re feeling that they can’t see past those feelings. Their problems begin to affect them both physically and mentally; which causes total dysfunction in their lives. When all a person does is focus on what they’re going through they lose sight of the fact that troubles only last for a season. They make everything about them and their problems. It’s hard for them anyone to believe their problems are only for a season when they deal with things this way.

I encourage you to take back control. Stop focusing on how bad you feel about what you’re going through. Believe that troubles don’t last always and know that someone else is worse off than you. You’re in it for only a season. If all you do is be negative, complain, and get down on yourself; your season will seem much longer than it is.

You’re not exempt from troubles in life, I’m not exempt, and neither is anyone else. They will come, but the good news is they will go. No matter what it is and no matter who is going through it, IT’S ONLY FOR A SEASON!

My prayer is that you understand that you’re not alone. Trust me! You’re not alone! You may feel it, but you’re not. It may be your situation, but I guarantee you that others are going through similar situations. People don’t want to hear these things, because they feel too much pain and it’s hard for them to believe things will get better. They can and they will, if you don’t give up! Get out of your feelings, because it’s why you can’t get past what you’re going through.