This is exactly where many people find themselves and I will tell you why. Until a person heals from their deep seated issues they will continue to live being led by their feelings and emotions. They look for things in other people that they don’t possess in self. What they fail to understand is most times the individual they’re involved with has as many or more issues then they. Normally this isn’t realized until it’s too late. This why we see people being cheated on, abused, disrespected, and even killed in their relationships.
Instead of people healing they get into relationships with all of their personal baggage compiling it with the baggage of who they choose. Most times people are relationship hopping because they are unhappy with self. As soon as they’re out of one relationship they are right into another. These types of people haven’t learned how to love self, instead they seek it in someone else. A person will be to you exactly what tell them you want until they get you where they want you (in your version of love and controlled). They know you’re desperate, because they too are desperate. They will treat you exactly how you’ve allowed. People must learn to take time for self. Learn to be alone for awhile. You grow the most when you’re alone learning about yourself and the experience you went through. This knowledge teaches you what and what not to do in other relationships. It gives you strength. The problem is most people don’t take this time to learn and figure things out before jumping into another relationship. They take all unresolved issues into the next relationship and into the one after that!
The true culprit is individuals inability to deal with the issues they have inside. People act as if all is well when they know it is not. What’s inside causes chaos outside if no healing has occurred. When people don’t heal they accept anything for a little of something. They take much more than they should in their quest for love. Most of these people relinquish their power to the person they are with. They give control to someone who doesn’t even have control over their own life. It always ends in unhealthy and unhappy relationships. Some of which are oftentimes with deadly consequences.
I’ve seen time and time again people get with individuals and try their darndest to change them, save them, or fix them. You can’t fix, save, or change anyone. Most people can’t do it for self, yet they allow their feelings, desires, and wants to make them think they can do it for someone else. People willfully allow themselves to get into bad situation with people they shouldn’t be with.
One of if not the greatest teacher if people will receive it (good or bad) is experience. It teaches us a lot, but unfortunately most people allow it to beat and break them down instead of use it to grow. We can learn from any experience whether good or bad. The old sayings “people learn from their mistakes and when a person know better they do better” isn’t always the truth! Many people don’t learn a thing from their experiences and in fact keep repeating the cycle and although some people know better, many people choose not to do better.
Most times people find it easier blaming their pasts and others, but at the end of the day each of us are responsible for our own lives and how we choose to live it. We can blame others all day it does nothing to facilitate change in our individual lives. If people do not deal from the things keeping them stuck they can’t move forward. They will remain where they are doing the same things and dealing with the same types of people. I find individuals focus more on trying to please others then they do in trying to be happy for self. Relying on someone else for peace, love, happiness, security, etc can be disasterous for your life!
Learn to love yourself and if you do you will become very careful about who you choose to fall in love with! When you love yourself you see past feelings to the truth!