Memories and Thoughts and the Power you Give Them

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There are millions of hurt people in this world who unfortunately hurt other people. Many people live their lives based on what others have said or done to them. They find it difficult to move forward because they are pulled backwards by their minds; which by the way have imprisoned them. No one can save you, no one can fix you, and no one can change you. The only one who can do it is you! You may have people around to influence, motivate, encourage, or inspire you to want to change, but if the willingness to change doesn’t come from you, the change will only be temporary. People who change to please others will always revert back to who they really are.

There are many people who feel they must be validated by others and because of it they are at the mercy of others. They allow other people to dictate how they feel about self. Those you give your power to know they have it and they will abuse it. People prey on who they think are weak, because the prowler him or herself are weak! They see and feel it in their prey!

Most people are accustomed to how they’ve been all their lives. It feels familiar and comfortable. Instead of trying to change they continue to live how they’ve always lived. No matter how miserable and hurt they feel they continue living their lives the same way. Many people blame others for who they are. I admit other people contribute to our lives in many ways both positive and negative. However, when you point at someone to blame them, you have three fingers pointing back at self. I think it’s a way for us to take ownership of who or what we’ve become.

Despite what a person goes through, despite how traumatic; who a person becomes as adults falls on the individual. People can choose to remain the same or they can choose better than what they came from. When people choose to remain the same they’ve seem to opt out of changing. Sometimes the people who have wronged them are dead and gone; yet people are still holding on to their experiences with the person/people through their memories. Memories are real, how strong they reign inside of a person is up to the individual.

Believe it or not none of our pasts exist today. None of them! We are all living in the present. If people do not deal with the issues of their pasts they are affected for a life time. It affects every facet of a person’s life. Not once have I said the past didn’t exist, of course it existed, but it’s not what we live in today. It is behind us and only the memories of it remains. Unfortunately for many people those memories are very real and strong. People are trapped by their own minds, because they’ve given power to the memories of their pasts. They carry these residual affects throughout their lives. It shapes them into what they’ve become. It’s a cycle most past down through generations until someone breaks the chain.

Many people walk around smiling, yet they are broken and hurting inside. Pretending will never give a person the understanding or will to deal with what’s causing them pain and suffering. People must learn to face it in order to move on. Those who do can go on to lead productive lives. However, those who don’t will live their lives as a revolving door. They will go in and out the same type relationships with the same types of people and wonder why. They will make the same bad decisions and choices and wonder why. They will allow people to take advantage or misuse them and wonder why it’s happening. They will continue to be unhappy which oftentimes lead to other things such as depression and even worse things like suicidal or homicidal thoughts, etc. Not all people will go through those thoughts, feelings, or emotions, but some will, because they don’t understand most times our biggest enemy is self. The power of the mind is beyond belief, but our thoughts and memories are only as powerful as we make them.

Things will happen to us, but how we deal with those things depends on how we receive them, perceive them, and the power we give to those things. We are our own greatest enemy, because we give so much power to negative memories of our pasts which has led to negative ways of thinking, period! The past doesn’t cause people any further pain, people do it to themselves by not dealing with the issues of their pasts. Instead they focus on the memories as if they are present today. It’s like a wound, if you constantly dig in a wound it won’t heal properly and because of the constant manipulation of it, the person could cause other issues. This is how many live their lives. They keep going back to the memories of their pasts. They are trapped by their own minds.

Today is a brand new day given to each of us. We can choose to become better or we can choose to stay the same. None of us will forget what we’ve gone through, but none of us have to be prisoners to our own minds, causing the inability to move forward. We don’t have to give our power to anything or anyone!

Live your life for you first! If you’re not healthy and whole you’re really not any good for anyone else. Sadly many go through life with all of their issues while trying to love others when they first don’t love self. This is proven every single day by people who constantly are in and out of unhealthy relationships or people having children and messing them up from the gate. Those are only two examples out of many.

Learning to become better has to be something a person wants. It starts with the individual. You’re not what or who someone else says you are unless you believe it yourself. No one should ever accept negativity from anyone else. You have the power to be whatever you choose to be. Never settle and think you should be a certain way because of what someone else said or did. They don’t get to choose, you do!

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Facing Your Biggest Problem, You

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It’s not him or her, it’s you! Stop trying to hold on to people who have let you go. Stop trying to hold on to a person who doesn’t feel you’re worth fighting for. It means you’re not as important to him or her as they are to you. The person you’re with must think you’re just as important, if not they aren’t as into you as you are to them. Too many live their lives struggling to hold on to people who are NOT holding on to them. It causes unnecessary chaos and drama in the lives of many.

People give their significant others too much power over their lives. They can’t function when the one’s they love walk away or simply don’t really want them. If a person wants to walk let them. Stop taking up space in your mind over someone who don’t even think of you! Some people literally can’t function because someone walked away from the relationship. I’m sorry I think it’s nonsense! It’s only my opinion. I know we’re all different. It doesn’t make sense to me to lose your mind over someone who doesn’t care how you feel.

Many people go through hell and high water to be with individuals who don’t want to be with them. When a lot of people stay it’s not that they want you, they like what you do for them and it’s the only reason they stick around. They treat the individuals they are with like crap, because they are allowed to. You have to deal with the monsters you created. Why? It’s because we teach people how to treat us. Whatever you allow it will happen! When you nip things in the bud people know where you stand!! When you allow things to continue to go on; you let people know where you stand!! The control is always yours, unless you give it away.

There are a lot of people who want to give up because the one’s they love don’t love them back. Seriously? If a person doesn’t want to be with you let them go. Trying to keep them where they don’t want to be will only prove to be a dead end and unhealthy situation. If a person is trying to hold on to someone when the person doesn’t want to be there, you must look at self and figure out what’s going on with you, NOT the other person. They’ve shown you who they are and what they want, now it’s up to you to deal with your feelings and emotions and stop allowing them to lead you in the wrong direction.

None of us can change another person, we can only change ourselves. We have to look at self and determine what we have to fix about self. Stop blaming the other person, because the other person is doing what they want to do. Life will go on even if you choose to remain stuck in place. No one is worth it. No one is worth the heartache or headache. If they want to walk, open the door for them! Same door they walked out of someone else will walk in. The difference should be you’re stronger and have more wisdom, knowledge, and understanding so not to make the same bad decisions again.

Most people look at relationships they’re in one way; and that’s according to how they feel about the other person. Hold up! Remember, you’re never the only person in a relationship, it always takes two! People get caught up in how they feel and fail to fully understand how the other person feels. A person shows you the truth no matter how subtle. People fail to see it, because they are blind by their thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the person they think they love or want to be with.

Stop doing things you feel uncomfortable with, stop trying to be someone you’re not, stop accepting any ole thing, stop allowing yourself to be mistreated, stop blaming the other person and take responsibility and ownership for you and your life, stop worrying about what the other person is doing and take care of you, and please stop giving your power to someone else.

I promise you, if you love yourself it will be enough!
You may feel lonely sometimes, but it’s better than being with someone and still lonely. Being alone is better than being with someone and in love by yourself. Being alone is better than being with someone yet separate, because they are doing their own thing. Being alone is better than being with someone who is only with you because of what you provide. Being alone can be a greater teacher if allowed. Learn to love you and you will see that no one will love you like you and if you love you, you know everything will be alright!

Individuals must learn how to see past their feelings, if they don’t they will continue to get into the wrong types of relationships, with the wrong people, for all of the wrong reasons. Happiness doesn’t start or end with anyone, but yourself; others may be a part of your happiness, but you definitely shouldn’t depend on anyone to bring happiness in your life. You first have to find it within yourself!

Enslaved by Feelings and Emotions

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Millions are in many situations because they are being held mentally captive by their own free will. It doesn’t only apply to relationships it applies in all aspects of a person’s life. However this post is concerning relationships. It’s terrible the bad choices and decisions make based on what they think is love, especially when children are involved. I can talk or write about it all day, but people have to understand it for self. Many people find themselves in terrible situations and relationships because they are going off of feelings and emotions and NOT looking at the truth. They can’t see past their feelings and emotions.

When I was young I did it once, it was enough for me to learn. I never made the mistake again. You must see beyond what you’re feeling. Everything starts with a thought, however; if your thoughts are distorted then it means your feelings and emotions will be absurd. A person think they know the truth, but they are basing it on their distorted views. Those views are distorted because their thinking is distorted. The old saying is VERY true “everything that glitters isn’t gold.”

Never, ever, never get caught up in a situation or with someone where you are basing things solely on how you’re feeling. You are bound to make bad choices and decisions. People do this every single day. If you don’t know people who do this personally, I’m sure you’ve at least have heard about them. Yet, people continue to do it!

A person will never change their ways of thinking if they don’t think they have a problem. They will never change if they think what they do is right. They will never change if they think they have it all together. They will never change if they have given power to their feelings and emotions. When a person do not change they only remain the same.

Many make bad decisions and choices, some to the extreme of death either to self or a loved one. It takes self love and maturity to be able to see past your feelings. I believe with everything in me, when a person truly love his or herself they are careful and selective in who or what they allow in their life.

There are many people who want what isn’t good for them. The sad part many of these people know it’s not good for them from the start. Yet they can’t see the truth, because they are blind by their feelings and emotions. Relationships will continue to fail until people wake up! Those you choose to become involved with will treat you exactly how you allow. If you don’t care about and love yourself, don’t expect anyone to genuinely care and love you. It starts with you!

When you Don’t Love Yourself

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It is apparent to most people, but not apparent to the individual. Most people think they have it all together, however the truth is told in the decisions people make about their lives. People are quick to say they want to know the truth until you give it to them, then they are upset with you.

There are many people in this world who are seeking love and many unfortunately think they’ve found it. My question is how do you know what love is from someone else when if you first don’t love yourself or haven’t really experienced it from anyone?

People focus on receiving love from others, but not on loving self. Other people will treat you exactly how you allow. I don’t care how good you treat someone else people will play with your heart, feelings, and emotions for as long as you allow. Why you may ask? It’s because they too have issues they need to face. If a person don’t know what love is they will accept what they are getting as love.

This is why we see many women and men getting with people who abuse them or kill them. They also abuse or kill their children. This is why we see people getting with individuals who drain them financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Again, people do to you what you allow. What they think is love simply is not!

When a person is desperate for love they will do anything to get it. This is a person who doesn’t love his or herself. There’s no way possible a person can love his or herself an allow someone else to mistreat them or their children. No way on earth! People who love self no their worth!

You shouldn’t have to buy love. By the way it’s impossible to buy love, people think they can. They aren’t buying love, they are buying the other person. Stop giving and watch what happens! You shouldn’t have to ever deal with abuse, disrespect, belittling, controlling individuals, obsessed or possessive individuals, or people who cause you or your loved ones harm. None of it signifies love in no kind of way.

A lot of people don’t know what love is, because it’s how they were brought up and unfortunately they got comfortable with it and settled for it. What I mean is as people get older who they choose to become falls on them. We can stay the same or we can choose to change. Point blank! People who do not embrace change carry baggage from one place to another continuing to pile up the drama in their lives and the lives of others.

If a person doesn’t love his or herself they will take and take either until some tragic happen or their eyes become open and they realize the unhappy relationship they are in. If you don’t love yourself people will sense your vulnerability and many will prey on you. Other people can sense when a person is eager in their quest for love. The people who prey have their own issues as well, but the individuals who become involved with them can’t see their issues, because they can’t see their own.

Love is many things, but it’s never abusive, disrespectful, controlling, demanding, obsessive, or possessive. It can’t be brought with money or material things. If you don’t love yourself it’s time to look in the mirror and deal with you! No one can fix you, but you!

Think about why are you allowing someone to treat you the way they are. Think about why you are settling. You will find it starts and ends with you! A person may try one time, but if you love yourself, you will nip it in the bud asap! Don’t allow your feelings and emotions to blind you to the truth. If you do you will always find yourself getting in a bad situation or staying in one. As I always say; face that man or woman in the mirror and accept a change needs to occur!

Do You Even Know What You Need

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My question is what do you really need? Do you understand needs and wants differ? Many people are led by their wants and desires. They don’t care what they have to do to get what they want. They don’t care who toes they step on, who they hurt, who butt they have to kiss, who they have do, they don’t care if the person is married, in a relationship or what, many will still go after the person. This is wrong! They will surely end up regretting it. Most people cause their own issues by how they start out in their relationships.

I’ve said many times, people get into and stay in relationships for all of the wrong reasons. They get into relationships in all of the wrongs ways and with the wrong people who they never should have been involved with in the first place. Many find it out the hard way.

Most people don’t have a clue the type of person they need in their lives. They have too many issues and they are moving on emotions/feelings. They allow how they feel lead them into bad situations and bad relationships. Before a person can truly understand what they need, they must get past seeking what they want out of mere feelings and emotions. In order to have a lasting relationship people must look beyond feelings and self gratification and start looking at the big picture. If a person is led by their flesh they are liable to get into any type of relationship with any type of person. They are normally moving based on feelings alone.

When I write about people getting past feelings what I am trying to make people understand is that when they are driven by feelings alone they will always end up in situations they don’t want to be in. However, out of sheer feelings, desires, and wants individuals think it’s what they need when it’s not! Yes, feelings are a part of a relationship. However when a person is blind by their feelings it causes them the inability to see, accept, and understand reality due to their distorted views. When a person is all caught up in their feelings it is what they are led by. People must mature past this and to a point of seeing the truth for what it is. Although it may look and feel good, a mature persons know it doesn’t mean it’s good for them and they will know how to avoid it or keep it moving all together.

People should grow as they go through things in life, unfortunately many don’t. They continue to make the same mistakes over and over. They are people who are led by their feelings and emotions and more than likely have unresolved inner issues keeping them in the wrong mind set. Normally they don’t understand love, therefore they seek it in all the wrong ways. Love starts with self, if you don’t love yourself you will certainly have issues trying to find it in someone else. People mess up trying to get something from someone else when they don’t really know what it is, because they don’t love self. When you learn to love yourself you know and understand your value and worth. It changes how you look at things and what or who you accept into your life.

Truth is a person who doesn’t understand love will normally gravitate to people who are not good for them. They end up in bad unhealthy relationships. Many people are afraid to leave these relationships for numerous reasons. They fear losing the security they think they have, they are afraid to go because they are afraid of the person, they feel trapped, they are caught up emotionally and think it’s the best thing for them, and the list goes on. The only person can change a situation is the person in it! It starts with the man or woman in the mirror!

It’s not Love, it’s You

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I posted about love being blind a year or so ago, I am readdressing this today. Despite what many believe love is NOT blind! Love is kind, patience, good, beautiful, and it is a word that describes emotions and feelings. A million people may have a million different descriptions for love, however it is only pure and good! God is love therefore it’s nothing but good! It is NOT what a lot of people think it is or claim it to be. One thing for certain it’s NOT blind! People who think they are in love are the one’s who are blind. They are blind by their emotions and feelings.

I don’t care how young or old many people are still led by their emotions and because of it they make horrible decisions and choices. Yes, due to different upbringings, environments, etc it can affect the way people think, perceive, feel, and act. However, ultimately as adults we can continue the same or choose to change.

People have many issues they haven’t faced or resolved, then they turn around and couple it with someone who also have their barrel of issues. They end up in chaotic relationships. They are either used or they are the users. They are controlled or they are the one’s who are controlling. They are abused or they are the abusers. They are manipulated or they are the manipulators. What I’m boiling it all down to is they have this negative load they transfer from relationship to relationship. They seem to continue to go in and out of relationships with the same type of people. They haven’t figured out that although the person they are with may undoubtedly have issues, they have a host of their own as well.

When a person is led by the flesh it is always for some form of self gratification. They will go to the extreme to get it. When it comes to their relationships these individuals are moved by what they are feeling and it clouds their judgment. No matter how bad their situations really are they can’t see the truth, because they are blind by their feelings and emotions. People around them can see, but the individuals who are involved can’t see the truth. People ONLY wake up when it’s so bad something has to give, they then begin to clear the fog. Unfortunately some never see through the fog!

These types of people have many insecurities. I’m speaking beyond the normal insecurities a person may have. I think we all have something, but not to the point of it affecting us. People who have issues they haven’t resolved or learned to cope with the affects of those issues allow their insecurities to wreak havoc in their lives. They are individuals who lean and depend on others for happiness. They seek love in all of the wrong ways, people, and oftentimes places. They need someone to make them feel validated. When they are in relationships they either love too hard too quick or their trust and insecurities causes other problems for them and their relationships.

The best recommendation I can give a person is to look inward at self. People can’t put the blame on no one, who we are lies with us. I know there are many avenues and experiences to get us to where we are, but individually we have
to take responsibility for who we choose to be. If people step back and look clearly at their situations they will see the truth. If people continue to be led by how they feel they will continue be led into places they really don’t want to be. People treat you EXACTLY how you allow them to treat you, they won’t change how they treat you until you change how you allow them to treat you! Get it!!

If people stop being obsessed by their feelings they can see clearly. People must first love self and when they do how they see things change. People who love self matures to a new level of understanding. They know they don’t need a woman or are a man to validate them and they embrace if they have to be alone until the right one comes along. They’re no longer interested in Mr. or Ms. Right now! They learn good looks don’t get it, money doesn’t get it, status doesn’t get, or any of those things. They will understand what they want may NOT be what they need!

Always look at your situation and never settle for one way love, because in truth it’s no love at all!

Author of Destruction

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I wanted to write about what is going on in the minds of people. Many people in this world are under the influence of the devil and they don’t know it. Too much evil is going on and societies are chalking it up as mental illness when it’s not. I heard on the news yesterday a woman stabbed her four children and their father to death. Tell me that’s not pure evil????????????

The devil is busy killing, stealing, and destroying. Those who haven’t uncovered the truth of what is going on with self will continue lives of dysfunction. They will continue on paths of destruction until they discover who they can be and stop embracing what they are. They then can recover and live the lives God intended.

People succumb too easily to the trick of the devil because they don’t really understand they are under his influence. When you’re not connected to Jesus you are capable of doing anything. People who aren’t in tune with self certainly aren’t in tune with God the Father and Jesus the Son.

The reason the devil is getting into the minds of people is because they are living by the flesh alone. They are in the world doing all the worldly things. They have focus on all of the wrong things. They are self absorbed and selfish; making things all about self.

Those who aren’t in tune with self are led by their negative ways of thinking. They get something into their heads/minds and although technically they know what they’re thinking isn’t right, they will continuously ponder over it until they develop feelings behind the thoughts; leading to negative actions behind the feelings. This is how people end up making bad choices and decisions; they are led by their negative and distorted ways of thinking. When you ponder long enough over negative thoughts you will more than likely act on those thoughts. People are giving power to the negativity until it takes over. This is a form of possession.

It’s nothing but the devil. He already know the minds of many people are weak. These people already have many unresolved issues they haven’t let go; which has already caused them to lead chaotic lives. It’s all destruction and the devil is the father of destruction. When you let him drive he takes over and control. This is what’s happening in the world many are under the influence of the devil and moving at his command without any resistant. This leads people to making some of the worst decisions and choices of their lives.

The powers of good and evil are in full effect. What we choose is what we choose. The devil don’t tight anyone up to serve him, he enters in through all of the avenues people make available. The devil doesn’t fight against those who are on his side; he simply leads them into further destruction and ultimately death. People must wake up!