Stunting Your Growth


Many people fail to realize they are in their own way. They know it all and they think they have it all together. If people would put as much or more emphasis on worrying about self, they would be much better off. Too many people put everyone else above self. They focus way too much on being what other people want them to be versus focusing on who they are or what they want to become.

Most people stunt their own growth because they refuse to acknowledge the fact they are responsible for who they choose to become. I don’t care what happened along the way or who did it; how we choose to become depends solely on each of us individually. There are many who will not grasp hold of this truth. They will continue in life the same way and most will die unchanged.

There are unlimited things available to us all if we apply ourselves. A lot of people won’t get off of their dusty stumps to do anything different. They have become fixated and content in their wrong ways of thinking, feeling, and acting until they’ve stunt their own growth. Most do it because they spend most of their lives blaming other people for who they’ve chosen to become.

Most times in life no one is shelling out anything for free. Whatever you want out of life you have to set goals and move towards those goals. Sometimes you will have support, but many times you won’t. If you don’t keep on moving towards your goals. It all depends on you. You shouldn’t live your life for anyone or allow anyone to try an live your life for you.

Stop stunting your own growth and stop allowing others to stunt your growth. Stop waiting for or looking for the approval of others. Many people mess up because they become too sidetracked when they don’t get support or approval of others. News flash; everyone you love won’t love you and everyone who says they support you, don’t and won’t! It’s as simple as that! Keep it moving!

No one can get from point A to B if they’re standing in the same spot. You must move! Life will throw you curved balls, but that’s just it; it’s a part of life! As I recently said “don’t make what is meant to be stepping stones; stumbling blocks.” Stepping stones you step on or jump over and keep going (moving towards your goals), but stumbling blocks can knock you down and stunt your growth, they keep you from progressing. What you choose is up to you!


You’ve Made Your Past Your Present


No one can move on if they haven’t let go of the past. The past is still the present for many people, because they refuse to let go of what they’ve gone through and have dealt with. This isn’t healthy for anyone. These types of people become content and trapped in their old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. They wear it like a badge of honor.

A person can’t grow if they are stuck. Too many people give power to their pasts. They won’t let the memories go, therefore they are constantly bombarded with thoughts and feelings of what has happened. People get older, but they don’t grow and develop mentally, because they are caught up in their past and it corrupts their present. They don’t make any efforts to change. Their lives are full of woe it’s me, complaints, pain, and sorrow. Every time you see these individuals it’s the same draining thing all over again.

Millions sabotage their lives on a daily basis. They refuse to let go of things that are done and over. Living this way completely destroys the lives of many people. It brings nothing other than chaos and havoc into their lives. They live dysfunctional lives, causing it to pool into all areas of their lives. What’s even sadder is many of these people bring children into the world wreaking havoc into the lives of their children.

When people can’t let go they grow older and into destructive adults who are unhappy with their lives. They do unthinkable things, they associate with the wrong people, they have distorted thoughts and views, they repeatedly make bad choices and decisions, they are angry, and a host of other things. They allow their pain to affect every aspect of their lives, (home, work, relationships, etc).

No one is exempt from the troubles of this world. The difference is resiliency. It’s all about how people perceive and deal with what they’ve gone through or what they are going through. Those who choose to get past things will and those who choose to waddle, embrace, and hold on to the negativity will do so despite the turmoil it causes. People who won’t let go are often walking time bombs and if they aren’t they are miserable with self and life. They are angry and bitter and it disrupts their lives in every way.

People are products of their environments, but I believe they choose to be victims of their pasts. We all have pasts. God knows if I had of succumbed to some of what I’ve experienced where I would be. I’m grateful for even as a young child I bounced back and I was able to deal with things positively. I clearly remember looking at other people and saying to myself I do NOT want to be like him or her. As a young child I saw destruction and chose early on I didn’t want to have any parts of a negative lifestyle. God had His hands on me early in life, but of course I didn’t have a clue. Now I see clearly!!

I realize we all perceive things differently and deal with things differently. However, we ALL have the power to choose positive over negative. We all have the power to choose to let go! Some people do not want to grasp hold of positive nor do they want to let go. A person behave according to what they believe. If a person think they deserve less, it is how they will more than likely act.

My heart goes out to people who think they don’t deserve better. It goes out to people who don’t want to change. No one has to live this way. Open your hearts and minds to change. Know that if you can’t let go, it’s because you’re comfortable and familiar with old bad habits and negative ways of thinking. If you carry around negative thoughts it breeds the negative feelings and actions behind them. Today is a new day and a chance to choose change!!!

Not Cold, Not Unconcerned, it’s Called Growth


If you’re not there you won’t understand. If you’re not trying to get there you won’t understand. If a person has given their life to Christ and are no longer in the world they aren’t the same. Many individuals claim it, however the truth is seen through their walk.

People don’t understand when you grow you don’t see things the same. What once worried you or even got on your nerves no longer fazes you. It is called growth! You know the importance of life, you understand your needs versus your wants, and you don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders any longer. You understand once you lay your burdens at the feet of Jesus you don’t go back to pick them burdens up again. You “cast all of your cares on Him.”

There are people who will think you have become cold and unconcerned. That isn’t the case, you simply have the understanding of what is and what isn’t important. Don’t be fazed by what people say about you, because they will talk no matter what. We certainly aren’t greater than Jesus! Not only did they talk about Him, they persecuted, beat, lied on, scorned, and crucified Him. If they did it to Him, someone who knew no sin; they will do it to us for sure. Stay encouraged and keep on the full armor of God. Sooner or later they will find someone or something else to talk about.

Remember a truth Saint is not their own person. They belong to Jesus Christ! When you’re a child of the King, nothing looks or feels the same. That’s just how it is. You will still go through trials and tribulations, but how you see them and go through them will be different.

There are a lot of people still thinking, feeling, and doing the same things they have always done. As a true Saint you shouldn’t be the same even if you’re going through similar trials and tribulations. Your outlook on things should be different. If you’re still worrying, being bothered, or trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders something is wrong!

A lot of people are trying to please others by continuing to do what they once did or by trying to do what others do. This isn’t the walk of a true Saint. You can’t be a person who is neutral for there is no neutrality in this walk. Being neutral means you don’t want to take responsibility. To be a true Saint means you take total ownership and responsibility of how you live. Your mind and heart is on Jesus. It means you do things pleasing to Jesus and God, NOT man.

People of the world are doing any and everything. The ways of the world are getting worse day by day. Although it is alarming you don’t fear, because you’re not a part of the madness. Your faith and trust lies in God Almighty, not man. You learn not to fear for God is with you through it all! You should feel at peace. People don’t understand it, but they don’t have to!

The more a person follow Jesus, the more change will occur. When a person is sincere about their journey they will turn away from all of the other things they once did. They do not partake in anything the devil will try to throw at them. They know satan when he rears his ugly head! They learn to resist the devil; therefore they are resisting temptations coming their way. All of it is possible when you make Jesus your choice.




When will some people learn? My goodness, how many bad situations and bad relationships do a person have to go through before they wake up? It’s so sad to see people who continuously go through the same things over and over and not realize they’re the common denominator. You wonder why you continue to go through similar things. It’s because you’re getting into similar situations with although different people; they have similar characteristics. This isn’t because of who they are, it’s because of who you are.

People think because a person has a well known status or in a certain position they’re above making bad relationship decisions. It NOT true. Who you are and what you have has NOTHING to do with it. A person can fake it all day long because of their status, but the truth of who you really are will ALWAYS show in the decisions you make.

Please STOP rushing into relationships! If you don’t stop what you’re doing the way you’re doing it, you will continue to be sad, miserable, and unhappy. You may pretend not to be, but inside you are and you feel it when you’re alone. When you’re alone you have time to reflect on who you really are. Some of you don’t allow yourselves time to be alone, because of the insecurities you have.

This happens with well known people just as it does with anyone else. It’s because of who people are inside. Too many of you are too busy focusing on trying to find someone to be with but you have no clue at all what it takes to build a healthy relationship. Therefore your relationships are unhealthy, unhappy, and fail.

Stop meeting people and getting with them, because of their looks. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone who is nice looking, but IF that is your main focus, it shows how shallow and immature you are.  A relationship like this holds no substance and oftentimes what you see isn’t what you get. I’m sure many of you have experienced this reality. Wake up!

This goes for people who get with someone because of what the individual has or what they do (position, status, etc). This too is a shallow way of thinking and it’s immature. Build your own therefore you won’t have to go out preying on people to get something you’re not trying to get on your own. Some of you don’t want to make your own way, all you want to do is take from whoever will give you something. This keeps you in a debilitated state of mind.

Start looking at the signs that are before you and stop being lead by your emotions. You can’t get into a relationship with your eyes wide shut. Meaning, they’re open but you miss all of the signs. The reason people miss the signs is they’re not looking for them even though they are right there. They allow their emotions to block their view. STOP it!

I’ve often talked about this. People must use their brains in all equations pertaining to love and relationships. If you don’t you will make bad decisions based on your emotions. When you’re feeling someone but because of your emotions you don’t think about the circumstances of your situation; you will most often choose wrong (make bad decisions).

People must learn about one another and this doesn’t mean by  sexing. Get to know one another (the likes, dislikes, the good, and the bad). Learn how NOT to allow your emotions to lead you around by your nose. This is done by focusing, NEVER lose focus, see the truth for what it is. No matter how good he or she makes you feel, how good they look, who they are, what they have, etc. etc. If they’re NOT good for you, that’s it, nothing else need to be said or done, MOVE on! Stop forcing yourselves into relationships you were NEVER meant to be in. This is why so many marriages and other relationships are failing. People are getting into them the wrong way and for the wrong reasons.



To those of you who are happy in love, I want to tell you something important on today. Never take your loved one for granted and always find ways to keep the fire burning in your relationships! These are two big things that are causing issues in many relationships.

Be aware of how you treat one another. No one person should have power or control over the other. If this happens it will affect the relationship as a whole. Both should be respected and treated as adults. Each should always compliment the other and support one another’s dreams, goals, etc.

NEVER intentionally reject one another. I know sometimes we as humans just don’t feel like it. However, remember you’re a team and it’s not all about what you want or don’t want. Never reject your significant other when it comes to any form of intimacy. He or she may simply need to talk, need a hug, or just be held. Like I said before; it’s not always about sex but when it is never reject UNLESS you’re REALLY sick or there’s something serious going on. To do so simply because you’re tired or don’t feel like it is NOT an OPTION (NEVER, EVER). If you start rejecting it puts a sore taste in the mouth of your significant other and your relationships don’t need any foolishness, because you’re trying to keep it blooming. Right?

Nothing should fall solely on one person. For instance if one works and the other doesn’t the one who doesn’t should close the gap by doing other things for the relationship etc. In saying that, it doesn’t mean, because one don’t work they should have to do all the rest. No! It takes two to make any relationship work. You must work at it together and communicate anything that hinders the growth of your relationships.

If either has a problem communicating this should be fixed prior to getting married. If not you will carry it into the marriage. You will face things you could have avoided had you communicated or should I say communicated properly.

Always take into consideration how you speak to your significant other. It’s not okay to be mean or rude. That’s plain disrespectful. Some people are like this, because of what they have bottled inside. It’s no excuse! You must get it right!

Be creative. Think of ways to keep the fire blazing in your relationships. Do things the other like (it’s important to know what they are). Surprise your loved one, don’t become so predictable, keep it interesting. There are plenty of things to do which don’t involve money, you simply have to be creative.

Remember, it’s VERY important to show someone you love them, not just say it. It’s great to hear, but we as humans we need to see the actions of your words. When you truly love/are in love with someone this shouldn’t be a problem for you.

I do realize some people don’t know how to show affection. To you I say learn! Learn your significant other, by doing so you will know what it takes to please him or her. Be attentive and caring to one another’s needs, wants, and desires.

If some of you have a hard time trying to figure out what to do, go to the big ole wide world of the web, there’s always ideas. Regardless of what you choose to do be geninue about it and your efforts will go a long way. Doing nothing is NOT an option!

Never go to bed angry. NEVER! You don’t know what will happen in the night. When you lay down at night it may be for the last time. This has been many people’s reality. I have a relative who died in his sleep, so trust me it’s reality. Don’t go to bed angry, don’t leave home angry. You should always be able to talk through anything. That is what two adults do who are in love with one another.

If you make your relationship priority it will mean a lot to the other person. You both must be on one accord. I realize many relationships aren’t, but this post is for those who want their relationships to work. it’s up to the both of you to make it happen. One person shouldn’t always be the one to initiate things. If so then it means the other is being taken for granted and just because they’re not saying anything, they are feeling it.

A few ideas off of the top of my head are: personal massages, making up cute and sexy sayings; making sure he or she get one on a daily basis, expressing and showing love daily, showers or bath time together, date nights, getaways, candlelight meals, breakfast in bed, surprise gifts (things, parties, etc), movie night (cuddle time). You get the point don’t you?

I realize there’s a lot of people who suffer from lack of desire for intercourse NOT necessarily intimacy. Everything isn’t about sex and if it is to the one you’re with, this is a problem. There are many ways to please one another that doesn’t involve penetration. Many individauls have health problems involving libido issues. This is common and is not a death sentence. Find ways to deal with it, but DO NOT allow it to cause problems in your relationships. For those of you with these types of problems, it isn’t all about you, so please get your head out of the sand. This affects you both; it affects your relationship. Face your situation and then make it work! You ever heard of the saying “there’s more than one way to skin a rabbit?” Well if you haven’t you just did! It simply means there are more ways than one to get a job done. NO! I’m not referencing sex, but it does apply.

The fire may need a little stirring. If the flames are down very low, it doesn’t matter all it takes is a little more spark and the fire is ignited. It’s up to you both. Get those sparks flying today! God bless!