Staying Yet Straying

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Okay, here I go again. It is up to each individual as to what they choose in their relationships. However; you ARE to blame for what you allow. You’re to blame for what you accept and put up with. No one can do to you more than you allow. People allow much unnecessary drama in the name of love when love has nothing at all to do with it. Love isn’t those things a lot of people claim it to be.

People who stray outside of their relationships don’t do it because of the person their cheating on. Yes sometimes that person is a problem, but the real reason a person strays is due to their own inner issues. Some people make all of the excuses in their world, but at the end of the day, they cheat, because they want to.

If you stray it’s no one’s decision to do it, but yours. If you stay after he or she strays it’s no one’s decision, but yours to do it. People stray for many reasons, but the fact of the matter is those reasons are all excuses. People cheat because they want to and them wanting to come from other underlined unresolved issues. People stay for the same reason. People who stay give excuses as to why, however truth be told their reasons all boils down to what’s going on inside of them. This is normally due to long ago unresolved issues. People seek love no matter the consequences; which is a sad thing!

I’m all for people remaining together. However, only in healthy relationships! Anyone who stays in an unhealthy relationship must look at the man/woman in the mirror and figure out why. Anyone who’s cheating on their significant other must do the same. Facing inner issues is detrimental in being able to grow into mature adults.

Society is full of tainted and broken people filled with toxicities of their pasts. When people don’t deal with their issues it affects every facet of their lives (relationships, jobs, decisions, choices, health, etc). People embed themselves into all types of positions only to have their demons surface to the top and ruin their opportunities. People get into relationships with clear indications it’s bad from the start only to allow their demons and their significant others demons to rise up and interfere with the relationship.

“The blind can’t lead the blind, unless they both fall in the ditch.” You can’t save anyone and no one can save you! You can’t change anyone and no one can change you. As I will continue to say; families, friends, and significant others may motivate, inspire, or influence you, but the decision to be saved or change falls on the individual who needs it. People think their love making skills, cooking, material things, looks, statuses, titles; may influence a person to change. NOT necessarily!! Even if a person changes due to some type of influence if they don’t change because they feel a need to change the change will not be lasting. It will ONLY be temporary to appease the other person or the situation. The same issues will come up again and again.

Every last one of us can put on facades pretending to be this or that, but every single time something will show the truth. It may be subtle, but nevertheless the truth will always present. Who a person try to hide and who a person is are different for immature people who think they are mature. Those who pretend to be one way yet knowing they’re another show the true signs at some point. It is shown through their actions, decisions, choices, etc. It NEVER fails! We can run, change locations, change jobs, hide, deceive, pretend, disguise, put on facades. However, we can’t EVER run or hide from the truth. We can’t run or hide from self! The truth lies within!! Unless a person resolve their issues they will NOT mature to be the people they’re destined to be.

A cheater will cheat until he or she decides to deal with the inner man or woman and come to the conclusion they are better than that. They are never satisfied with who they have, because they don’t truly love self, due to their inner issues. They choose not to be faithful and loyal to no one, because they can’t be faithful or loyal to self. They are immature in their thinking and for them it’s about gratification of the flesh (physical body, their eyes, material things, statuses, etc).

A person will stay in an unhealthy relationship (cheated on, beat on, disrespected, mistreated in all forms), until they deal with the inner man or woman and decide they deserve better; which starts with loving self. It’s always up the individual. You, you, and I! Every last one of us willfully choose what we allow into our lives. We can make excuses, but what we choose falls on us individually.

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Red Flags of a Catfish Scheme

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I know people are looking for love where they can. That is partly the problem, people are looking for love in all of the wrong ways, with all of the wrong people, and in all of the wrong places.

I realize online dating works for many people, but you MUST use common sense when online dating. People truly show you who they are whether it’s behind a computer screen or face to face. The main reason people miss the signs and cues is because they are allowing their hearts to lead. They are being led by feelings and emotions. They look past all of the imminent signs present, because of what they are feeling. They are consumed by what they perceive is love and it’s all they see.

Online dating isn’t the problem. The problem is the people who are partaking in the online dating. If you are led by what you’re feeling, you’re being led by the flesh. This means you’re led by your feelings, emotions, desires, and wants. If you thought about what you truly needed you would think twice about your situation.

No matter how many people have lost their lives or been affected in some way through online dating, people still are doing it. I’m not saying online dating is all together bad. It works for some people. What I’m saying is use common sense and caution. If you go in with your eyes wide shut, you will be consumed by your feelings and emotions. You will have to deal with the consequences!

RED FLAGS
Anybody who has been dating a person for months and years without ever seeing the individual this is a red flag! If every time you want to meet up with them, skype, Face Time, Facebook messenger, or see them in some way in person and they’re always unavailable, this is a red flag. There are many ways to see a person through different apps if not in person. If you decide to meet up and they don’t want to in a public area, this is red flag. Never invite someone to your home nor give them the address.

If you’re having to send them money, this is a red flag. A lot of scammers ask you for money right away. They always claims deaths or accidents. I don’t care what excuse they give, you should have common sense not to send a stranger money. It’s a scam. They know you’re vulnerable and they are playing on your emotions. They know, because many of you tell your life history and all they’re doing is building a solid case to deceive you with the ammunition you freely provided to him or her.

If you google their name and someone else pops up, this is a red flag. If you’re going to use social media online dating, there are many ways to see if you’re dealing with who you think you are. You have to put in the time to research. You can google images, accounts, and other things to see if something fishy is going on.

If you never get to talk to them it’s a red flag. Sometimes it could be an indication it’s someone you know or they simply don’t want you hear their voice for some reason. Sometimes people are foreigners and they know you will hear the accent.

If they are telling you they love you and whispering all the sweet nothings to you right away, this is a red flag. They are telling you what they know you want to hear. They are giving you exactly what you told them you wanted. They give back to you in a very deceitful way what you freely provided to them. They use it against you to manipulate you into believing they really care for you to get out of you what they want.

If they want information from you about personal things, yet never provide you with any, this is a red flag. They are fishing to find out as much about you as they can to play their game right.

I’ve always said and written, when an individual love his or herself, they will be very careful who they allow into their lives. They aren’t eager or desperate for love. They aren’t controlled by their feeling or emotions. They see things for what they are and they have the sense to get away from a relationship that has red flags!

Unfortunately many miss the signs because they are caught up by their feelings and emotions. Being led by feelings and emotions put many in dire situations, they shouldn’t of ever been in. If people do not open their eyes to the truth they will continue to be victims of the Catfish scheme!

Can’t Serve Two Master’s

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People are quick to profess their love for God and His Son Jesus, yet they know in their hearts they are lying. One thing I know for sure is a person can lie all day to someone, but they can’t EVER lie to God. The Bible specifically says you can’t serve two. Many who say they love God are still trying to serve both God and their other master/s.

I saw a video where this guy says there’s no such thing as the devil. They admitted to believing there’s a God, but said there’s no devil. Hmmmmm??? It makes no sense to me. How can a person believe in one and not the other? The gentleman believed we have been programmed to fear the devil, etc. Still it makes no sense to me. People shouldn’t fear the devil, they should fear eternal damnation, which is where the devil will reside one day right along with them. The devil don’t rule hell, the devil doesn’t choose who goes to hell; people choose their own eternal place (Heaven or hell) and ultimately God places them there. The devil will be cast right back where he belongs when the time is right. The only power he has is what God has given him.

God isn’t in the business of forcing people to choose Him and live according to His Word. We all have the right and will to choose what we want. The problem with people today is they want to pick and choose when they are on the side of God and His Son Jesus. They think they can live any kind of way and still go to Heaven. It’s a lie!!!!!!! It’s a trick of the enemy. If you love Him you will live for Him and ONLY Him not sometime, but ALL of the time!

God presents to us in many ways and so does the devil. It depends on who we choose and love the most; as to how we perceive, accept, and choose to live. People think they can do some things pleasing in the sight of God at certain times in front of certain people and it makes all well. It’s a lie! God isn’t impressed or pleased. He’s heartbroken and sad at how people are not willing to give up the ways of the world. He’s sad He’s having to turn people over to reprobated minds.

People don’t want to accept chastisement from God, because they wonder how can a God allow this and that or how can a God do this and that to people. As a good parent (notice I wrote a good parent) you will implement consequences for your child’s actions. You will set guidelines, rules, etc for your child to follow. Why are people upset and angry when God chastise or answer prayers in ways other than what a person hoped for? As a parent the parent knows what’s best, why do people see it differently when it comes to God? You wouldn’t if you were on His side.

One day every last one of us will die, but we do not have to perish! How we live now determines how we live eternally. No matter how tragic the ways of the world are; many still don’t want to give it up. People who don’t want to give it up are the same folks who profess God and His Son Jesus in their lives. They are some of the same ones who are full of idolatry and caught up in titles and positions. They are faithful to going to church, but they are also the one’s full of envy, malice, jealousy, contentment, and other negative things. They are offended most times when you speak about Jesus and the rest of the time, they don’t want to hear it. These people aren’t fooling God, they are fooling self. They are the first ones who say don’t judge me. They are the first ones to say no one’s perfect. Please, give me a break!!! These are ALL excuses to continue to do what a person wants to do. Whether people take ownership or not, NO ONE can serve two Master’s.

People think because they are faithful to going to church they are on God’s side. It’s all lies and they are in denial. They think because they stand and testify or give their rendition of utterance to God they are safe; NOT SO! People know exactly what they are doing and they know when what they do isn’t pleasing to God. You can serve Him on Sunday and/or Bible study nights and do everything you want to do the rest of the week, it WON’T work!! God sees your every move. Unfortunately people love the world too much to completely and totally submit to God. Well, you can’t submit halfway, you have to be in it all the way!! You can’t live this way one minute and that way the next; that’s not how it works. You have to be about God’s business 24/7 and 365/a year! Many people are constantly trying to add to or take away from the Bible to benefit them. God said don’t do it!!!!! I’m saying in writing the benefit of it is NONE! The reason the benefit is none is you’re either for Him or against Him. There’s no in between and there’s no fence to straddle, PERIOD!

Your life now determines your life later. The choice is for each one of us to make. However, don’t for a second think you’re fooling God. He knows how you are living, He knows how you present yourself each and every second of the day. No one’s mannerism, charm, beauty, material possessions, titles, positions, fake gifts they learned to mimic, or fake spiritual performance will get them into Heaven. The ONLY way to the Father is through the Son. You must be, have to be, and got to be Born Again, and you MUST live Holy! There’s NO OTHER WAY!!!!!!!oanl

The Truth Doesn’t Change

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Lies change, but the truth is just that; the truth! People always claim they want the truth until you give it to them. I’m not one who sugarcoats things to please people. Doing this doesn’t help a person it enables them. A lot of what I say or write hits hard and oftentimes upsets people. I make no apologies about it. As a servant I’m on this earth to help those who are willing to accept the truth. I plant the seed and it’s up to individuals what they do with it.

What I’ve found out in life is people are highly offended by the truth. Earlier in my life I was confronted by the truth and it cut me like a knife too. I didn’t want to hear it, but that didn’t change the fact it was the truth. I’ve always been a person who learned from everything I’ve experienced. When I truly knew better I done better and I always learned from my mistakes, bad decisions, and bad choices. It made me into who I am today.

People who take offense to the truth are people who need to search within self to figure out why truth hurts or upsets them. I know for a fact many so-called Saints aren’t what they profess. Therefore any time you speak or write the truth they are upset about it. They can’t stand the truth. They are people who aren’t living what they claim to live. They are people who are still doing what THEY want to do. They are still living in sin and doing things against God. A true Saint doesn’t get mad at the truth.

I understand people who are still in the world getting upset over the truth. They most definitely don’t want to hear it. The great difference is they aren’t claiming to be children of God. They aren’t claiming to be Saints who are living according to the Word of God. Therefore I expect them to get sick and tired of being told the truth. However, I don’t expect it from a true Saint.

Bottom line of this post is the truth is the truth no matter who tells it. If a person is adding to it or taking something from it, it’s no longer the truth. People can pretend all day, but at the end of the day each of us has to give in account for what we do and what we have done. As I always say how we live now determines were we will live eternally. That’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! True Saints if you’re mad about then, I highly recommend you check yourself and re-examine your lives, because what you’re living isn’t the truth and you know it!

The Other Woman/Mistress

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After a conversation I had this weekend, I felt a need to talk about the above topic. There are many women who put themselves in positions to be categorized as the “other woman or the mistress.” It’s NOTHING to be proud of by no means. Some women have the audacity to call the wife or girl friend and tell her they’re sleeping with their husband or boyfriend. Many tell the wife or girlfriend explicit things about the relationships they’re having with the wives or girlfriends of significant others. This isn’t okay , it’s wrong, immature, and stupid.

My advice to any “other woman or mistress” is to get a life of their own and stop trying to ruin other women’s relationships. What this type of woman is doing proves she is a woman who don’t have a clue about what she needs and knows nothing about love. If she knew what she needed she certainly wouldn’t be with some other woman’s man.  If she knew anything about love, she would not seek it with a man who is already in a relationship; this type of situation has nothing to do with love.

If a man whose in a relationship approaches a woman she has the choice to tell him to beat it! Playing with fire can cause you to be burned (both of them)! Any woman who thinks it’s okay to mess around with someone else’s man is a woman who lacks integrity, values, morals, and a host of other things. Some of these women act heart broken when the men don’t leave their women or they harass the wives or girlfriends. It’s ridiculous.

Any woman who brags and boast about sleeping with someone else’s man is foolish. She is a woman who have no respect for herself and too immature to understand what she’s doing will come right back on her. This type of woman is very ignorant to think she has it going on because she’s with someone else’s man. First of all she obviously can’t get her own and secondly she’s very foolish to want someone else’s man. If he’s cheating with her on his wife or girlfriend, he’s showing upfront he’s no good. He’s showing upfront he isn’t trustworthy. He’s showing upfront he lacks morals and values. He showing upfront his commitment and dedication to a relationship are seriously flawed. He’s showing he’s immature.

If a woman thinks she’s doing something good by being with someone else’s man, the last laugh will be from the wife or girlfriend, because he will do to her the same thing he’s done to his wife or girlfriend. Sadly she’s too caught up in her emotions to see the truth.

Women must stop allowing themselves to get involved with men who are already involved with other women. STOP accepting ANY type of excuse from these no good men. If he says he’s going through a divorce then let him get through it. If he says they’re separated, then let him get a divorce. If he says he’s staying with her for the children, then he’s not for you, because he’s in a relationship already. If he says they only live together, but they aren’t together, LIES, LIES, LIES! Stop falling for it. Stop falling for it no matter what the excuse he gives to you. He’s with someone should be enough to send him on his way. I realize sometimes women are lied to by these men, but I believe if she is paying attention he will reveal in some way or another the truth. The signs will be present!

The man isn’t putting the other woman or mistress in a predicament or situation; she’s putting herself in one by going along for the ride. The particular woman that made me want to write this post bragged to the wife about she was paying the bills in her house (the wife’s house). How DUMB can you be???? If a woman is with a married man and she’s paying his bills, she is very stupid! Bad enough she’s in a relationship with him, but even worse; she’s paying his bills. On top of it she’s bragging to the wife about it. Very silly indeed! This is a woman who is led by her emotions into foolishness. She’s thinking with her heart and not her brain. The same way she’s bragging to the wife;  he’s bragging to his friends how he got him a sucker. Believe that!!

Although this post is about women it also relates to men as well. Some men do the exact same thing. They fall for women who are already with someone. It doesn’t matter who does it, it’s wrong! If a person can’t be faithful then they shouldn’t be in a relationship at all. Sometimes to cheat on someone cost people their lives. People aren’t playing games anymore they will take you out when you mess with their emotions. Don’t take any chances with ruining what you have.

I pray for anyone with a cheating spirit to get their lives together and change their ways before they destroy their lives. If you know you can’t be faithful it’s best to walk away before you find yourself in a situation you can’t handle. Marriage is supposed to be sacred. If you’re in a relationship but not committed you are wrong. If you don’t want to be there then it’s not where you should be. Karma is for real and it will bite you when you least expect it. Some of these women you cheat on aren’t playing and neither are some of the women you cheat with. You don’t know what doors you’re opening when you start messing with people’s emotions. Infidelity can get a person in a situation they regret. This goes for a cheating man or a cheating woman.

 

Walking by the Pearly Gates on Your Way to Hell

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I want to write about living right while you can, because time is winding up for us all. I don’t want anyone to lose their soul. Mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son, and no one else can go to Heaven or Hell in your place. We all choose which eternity we will have.

Many people who THINK they are going to Heaven are Hell bound. Oh  I know someone don’t like this truth, but I still have to tell it. This post is for EVERYONE who profess Him with their lips but minds and hearts are far from Him. Time is OUT for playing! People need to look around at what is going on in this world, everything is changing. People are mocking God and doing any and everything they think they’re big and bad enough to do. They are professing one thing and living another. You can’t fool God!

There are so many people who are leading others in the wrong direction. However, it’s up to each of us individually to know the way for ourselves. Many people are too caught up with praising and worshipping others, but don’t have no connection to God and His Son Jesus. They are too busy trying to look good in the eyes of man. Their dedication and commitment lies with man and not God. I’m sure as you read this post you can relate. You too know people who are talking out the side of their necks.

Some people act holy, but they have only learned how to play the role. They portray themselves as such, but they are NOT! They got the talk and the demeanor down packed. They feel their versions of the Holy Spirit on cue and they speak in their made up tongues fluently. There are many tongues, but only one that is a gift of the Holy Spirit, the others have NOTHING to do with the Holy Spirit. The Bible says you speak in tongue to edify Jesus when it’s a conversation between you and Him. However, when people are standing before the church talking to the congregation and all of a sudden start speaking in their versions of tongues they are out of order when there is no one there to interpret. I see this so much it’s ridiculous. What’s even more ridiculous is how the congregation gets on board with it when they didn’t have a clue what the person was saying. It’s out of order! These preachers, teachers, apostles, bishops, evangelists, and whoever else that is standing before the people speaking, they are out of order when there is no one to interpret to edify the church. Therefore as Daniel says “they should keep silent.” Stop making up tongues, because speaking in tongues WON’T get you into Heaven.

It’s sad those serving over the flock in some capacity and the flock who attends church faithfully are living something other than what they profess. They are claiming how much they love the Lord thy God, but they don’t want to lay down their sins at His feet. They don’t want to stop being driven by the sins of their flesh. Sins of our flesh involves many things. It’s anything that causes you to sin (eating too much, lust, fornication, adultery, addicted to gambling, addicted to drugs and alcohol, sexual immorality, and anything that controls you and take you away from God). People don’t want to stop doing the things they are enjoying no matter how wrong. Yet, a lot of these people claim to love Jesus and claim to be walking the walk. It’s nothing but lies. God said “they say they come in my name, they are liars.”

Lies, lies, lies! All of the pretense will one day come to an end, period, point blank! Don’t get caught on the wrong side of the road and please don’t get caught with your work undone. You know who you are and if you know in your heart you’re only playing church, it’s time to stop. The situations in our world are only getting worst. You must decide which side you’re own, because soon you will be in a situation forcing you to take a stand. If you’re not standing for God and His Son Jesus, you’re standing for something else.

I’m not judging, because it is written. God has left instruction and guidance. Stop using you’re not perfect, because as I always say, it’s ONLY an excuse to continue to do what you want to do. Don’t you be one of the people passing by the gates on your way to hell. Be a part of the Kingdom claim your place in Glory. You can’t do that by pretending while you yet live. It’s either you do or you don’t, that’s the only choices you have. Don’t let it be too late!!!!! You must give up the wrong for the right!

Your Fight Isn’t Worth It

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A lot of people find themselves fighting over their significant others and my question is why? Why do men and women do this? When a person is cheating on you in my opinion they’re not worth bickering and fighting over.

There are many women who are fighting over men. If you’re in a relationship with someone and he steps out on you it was his choice. Any woman who fights over a cheating man is a foolish woman. If there is another woman in the picture the issue isn’t with her it’s with the man. A man who steps out on his woman is not worthy to be fought over, he’s shown he’s no good and not trustworthy. Matter of fact no man or woman is worth fighting over when cheating is involved.

It’s ridiculous to see women acting fools over men who obviously doesn’t value either of them. Women who fight or lose friendship with friends and relatives because of a man are women who lack self esteem and they are insecure.  As I mentioned earlier the issue is with the man.

Sometimes women get involved with men without knowing they are involved with someone. There are men who are married but they lie about it or they lie about the status of their relationships. They say they are married but not together or they will say they are together but are divorcing. Some will even say they just live together but do their own separate things. Any excuse given is just that an excuse. If a man tell you he’s with a woman no matter what the circumstance he’s a man you shouldn’t get involved with. When women choose to get into relationships with men who are already in relationships these women are causing their own troubles.

There are a lot of times women choose to be in denial, instead they want to fight and go after the other woman. A man will do exactly what he’s allowed to get away with and anything he wants to do. Some men keep the pot stirred by continuing to see both women regardless of the chaos it’s causing. Women who stay with these men are foolish women. These men are clearly showing the women neither of them matter.

A mature and good man would never ever bring drama into his relationship. He wouldn’t want to be with any other women. Men who cheat have major issues they need to work out before entering into any relationship. Women who know the men they’re with are with other women yet continue in these types of relationships are insecure women who also has other issues. They are mistreated because they accept this type of treatment.

I’ve always said your man or woman and people in general will ONLY treat you how you allow. If you are fighting with someone over who you’re with, you’re with the wrong person. This is ONLY my opinion! Personally I wouldn’t want anyone who devalued  or defiled our relationship. Unfortunately too many women would rather waste time arguing and fighting over a man then to consider what the man really thinks of her shows in how he’s treating her. If there is another woman involved this says a lot. The issue shouldn’t be with the other woman but with the no good man.

Women who fight over men give these men power over them. These men know what they are doing is wrong but knowing isn’t enough to make them want to stop doing what they do. The women make these men feel important when they aren’t worth the confusion they cause.

Men oftentimes find themselves doing the same things as the women. They too fight and argue with other men over who they are with. No woman is worth arguing and fighting over when cheating is involved. People who cheat does it willfully and freely. They choose to do what they are doing and deciding to cheat shows their significant others exactly what they mean to them. So really;  what is the fighting about?

To know you’re cheated on is a heart wrenching thing but my plea to both men and women who are cheated on is don’t lose your mind over someone who isn’t thinking of you. Stop acting fools over people who commit acts they already know are sure to cause you pain. When a person’s action clearly shows you how important your relationship is NOT, it’s time to take notice of the truth. Deal with your man or woman but don’t fight about it with no one; not even them, because they aren’t worth the fight.