You Created Your Drama

People are getting into relationships with folks who are already in relationship and snapping because it’s not going how they wanted. How can you think anything good is going to come out of your wrong doings? People must learn to see past their feelings; when they can’t what’s inside will always show up outside.

People are murdering folks or harming them in different ways, because they can’t deal with the drama they willfully got into. You can’t get with someone else’s significant other and get upset with the fact they won’t give you what you’re seeking. You can’t get mad because they won’t leave who they are with for you. It’s very foolish for people to subject themselves to such nonsense.

Recently a lady killed a man over this. He was a pastor (at least that is what his title was). She shot and killed him and wounded his wife. Her words to him was “you hurt me.” Go figure! You will always end up in a circle of drama when you subject yourself into situations such as this one. People do to you what you allow.

Until individuals learn to love self they will never be able to see past their feelings and emotions. They will continue to involve themselves in bad and unhealthy situations.

A person should never want what someone else has or who someone else has. If an individual wants to cheat with you, then you should tell them NO! Unfortunately too many people seek happiness in other individuals no matter the consequences. These people some of you involve yourselves with are not happy inside of self and this is why they are cheating in the first place.

If a person tries to form a relationship with you and they are already in a relationship this is the first indication they are NOT someone you should become involved with. If they are cheating on who they are with they will cheat on you. If they don’t respect who they are with, they won’t respect you. You will always be the side piece (male or female).

One thing I’ve learnt in dealing with people is how they make themselves available to a cheater. They put their life on the back burner to try and please the cheater, not understanding the cheater is always going home or wherever to the one they are with. You will always be the side piece. Don’t settle for this type of relationship.

The only thing will change a person is change itself. No one can change if they are not in the mindset to change. You can’t get into the mindset until you deal with the man/woman in the mirror. People must stop looking to other people and start looking inward. You’re your worst problem! You’re your worst enemy. Not the other person or other people, but you yourself. Until people face self drama is exactly what they will allow in their lives. No amount of money, title, status, position, or anything else will change this fact!

You don’t know love until you learn to love yourself first!

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I Do Everything

Yeah???? That is the problem, you do everything! Some people fall in love too quick. They are too eager or desperate for love and they are being led by their feelings. Too many people are in one-sided relationships, they complain yet it’s their own fault they are allowing it. Some people feel if they love a person hard enough they will love them back or do right by them. Not so! They further believe if they make it all about the individual they will love them back, but it simply doesn’t work like that!

There are many people in relationships who give everything they have yet it’s not enough to make someone love them or want to be with them. They get upset because they realize the relationship is one-sided. They don’t understand why the person won’t do right by them. They don’t get why the person don’t love them like they want them too.

Okay, if this is you and your relationship is at this point then you should know it’s really not about the other person, you should be looking at yourself. You can’t expect someone else to change, you must seek change in yourself. If a person truly love you then you don’t have to buy their love, you don’t have to be the one who does everything in the relationship. If they love you they will do their part and your relationship will NOT be one-sided.

Far too many people are in one-sided relationships, but it’s because a one-sided relationship is what they formed with the person and what they accepted. You simply can’t make someone feel as you do or even feel anything at all for you. If you want to be in love by yourself they will let you, because you won’t change them.

Many people waste years being in these types of relationships. They try their hardest to be the best they can for the person they love, yet it gets them nowhere but in a one-sided relationship; sad and lonely. I’ve seen it time and time again.

As I’ve written and stated a million times, learn to love you first. If people learn to love self they will send someone who doesn’t love them right on down the road. A person who loves self will not tolerate this in their relationship. They will understand it takes two people to have a loving and happy relationship. Many people are in love, but unfortunately they are in love by themselves. These are the types of relationships no one should want to be in.

The Jaws of Fear

It is very sad how people allow fear to land them in bad situations and relationships. People get into relationships they shouldn’t be in then they allow fear to keep them there. None of us can get back the time we given to being bound to and tied up by fear. In a relationship the other person may be a part of the issue, but the real problem is the person who allows fear to keep them where they shouldn’t be or where they don’t want to be. If you’re afraid to leave for ANY reason; I always say you’ve stayed too long. People fool themselves into believing they are/were blindsided. Keep lying to yourself! Individuals at some point always show you who they really are. It never fails! Many miss the signs because they are blind by their feelings and emotions. By the time they can see they are then bound by fear, (to leave, to stay, to start over, to be alone, etc).

I don’t care what it stems from fear is crippling and debilitating to anyone who gives in to it. It affects many facets of a person’s life when they allow fear to control them. There are many people stuck in unhappy and unhealthy relationships, on unhappy jobs, in careers they are unhappy with, afraid to change, afraid to try something different, afraid to be alone, afraid to start over, afraid of what others will say or do, etc, etc. They totally give in to fear. It controls them, keeping them stagnant and unable to move forward.

Whatever or whoever you give your power to means you have none. It means the person or thing controls you. Fear keeps people dependent instead independent. When you fear your fear is evident in your actions. This empowers others to maintain control over you! It gives power to the fear in you to keep you where you are. People develop anxiety etc due to fear! This can lead to other issues mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The ONLY person can change your situation is you. When you give your power to anything no matter what it is (person or thing), it becomes stronger than you! Stop giving what belongs to you away due to fear. Your power belongs to you! You were meant to be strong and the very best version of yourself! No one other than Jesus the Son and God the Father completes you, but you! If you choose not to believe then at least believe in yourself! You are the only person who can complete you!

Many people look for love and validation in others when they don’t have it in self! It oftentimes keep people where they are. People allow their issues and the fear of change to hold them down and back! Today is a new day. Tell fear no more! Talk it right on out of your life. Let it take all of the junk it has set up in your life keeping you stuck right along with it! Those who believe in Jesus allows the devil free reign when they give into fear, because God’s love conquers ALL fear! If you’re a believer then you must believe it! Otherwise you allow the devil victory in your life. He doesn’t have no more power than you give! That goes for the devil in ANY form he may appear!

Take back your power, take back your life!

What You Allow Can Cost You Plenty

There are many people who are in terrible relationships. They are unhappy and the relationships they’re in are unhealthy. I don’t know how many times people need to hear it, but I will keep saying it and writing it. Both men and women have died in unhealthy relationships or due to them. Those that die in these relationships don’t adhere to the many signs of abuse. People die while in them or they may get out, but got out too late, therefore still end up dying even though they were no longer in the relationship. You can’t control what others do, but you can control what you allow them to do to you!

People must STOP putting their lives in danger. Most are in love with the thought of being in love when it’s not love at all. Please stop making excuses for your significant others and start protecting and looking out for self. Please stop allowing your feelings and emotions to lead you into dangerous situations and bad relationships.

People need to do self assessments before entering into relationships. If you haven’t dealt with your past pains they will cause problems for your present and future. You will always have drama in your relationships because of the drama in you! If you are being led by feelings and emotions it will cause you big issues. Wrong ways of thinking will cause you issues. One of the greatest things a person can do for self is learn to love self. I guarantee you on top of a promise if you love yourself you will NOT allow people to do you any kind of way they choose. You will not fall for any ole anything that comes along.

A great indicator of how a person really feels about self is what they are allowing in their life. It’s the truth! People can talk a good talk, but the truth will always be revealed in the decisions and choices they make. As I’ve said many times before people fall in an imitation of love and think it’s the real deal, because in truth they don’t know what love is. Most times they don’t even love self. They fall in love with people who clearly show them they aren’t right for them. They fall in love with people they shouldn’t be with in the first place. They fall in love for all of the wrong reasons, the wrong ways, and with the wrong people. Then, on top of it they end up feeling trapped in these relationships by fear.

Fear is one of the biggest culprits keeping people in relationships and situations they shouldn’t be in. People don’t have the love, esteem, or confidence in self. They look for many things in others when they first need to have it in self. The lack thereof keeps people trapped in their wrong ways of thinking landing them into bad relationships and dependent on others. They end up used, abused in all ways, and oftentimes killed. Walking away can save you from unnecessary drama, sorrow, and pain. Those already carrying heavy hearts add to their own issues by taking on the issues of their significant others. Many can’t see this because they can’t see past their wrong ways of thinking, their own pains, emotions, and feelings until it’s too late.

Seeking Everything Other Than Change

This is the first evidence of disconnect. It is also evidence of a person who doesn’t love self or know who they are as an individual. Most people are focused on finding love or seeking something they think they want. They are blind or should I say oblivious to what they need. They move off of feelings and emotions due to their wrong ways of thinking. They are trapped by their own minds. Most are busy focusing on satisfying their wants moving from relationship to relationship doing the same things getting the same results failing to grasp why.

These types of individuals need to sit down somewhere and focus on self. Until a person makes peace with self and get self right they won’t ever live in peace with anyone else. This is one great reason many relationships fail. People are too busy trying to fix the other person when they need to fix self. They are focused on satisfying the other person and often place self on the back burner to do whatever they think it will take to make their relationship work.

No matter what a person does, says, how they look, what they have, who they are, etc, etc, it will NOT make someone love you. If you don’t love yourself, why do you think someone else will be so willing to love you? They may love what you do for them, but that’s totally different from loving you or being in love with you. Unfortunately many settle for this imitation of love and it is why many relationships are loveless. They get in relationships yet they feel alone and unhappy. This isn’t healthy for anyone!

People carry all of the woes from their pasts around like back packs. They keep stuffing junk in them as they maneuver through life. These things weigh them down, because instead of releasing and letting go they continue to carry their woes in and out of relationships coming out worse than when they started. They carry the burdens of their significant others, when truth is you can’t make anyone want to be with you or love you. You can’t fix a person, make them change, or save them. Individuals spend most of their lives trying to do this when they haven’t dealt with self.

When a person love self then self is who they will be very much aware of. They will guard their hearts and minds. They will be aware of potential problems and they will easily walk away from nonsense. They know they have control as to who they want to be with and therefore they won’t settle for someone simply because they feel something. They know the decision to be with someone goes beyond feelings, a person’s looks, status, and bank account.

When a person wears their heart on their sleeve they are moved by their emotions and feelings. It leads them into situations and relationships that are unhealthy. It further adds to the many issues individuals already have.

It’s up to each person what they choose in life. When people choose not to change then they can’t expect anything different than what they get in life. Stop looking for people to complete you when it’s only YOU who can perform that task in your life. You complete you by first loving self, forgiving self, and forgiving others, then moving on away from what has held you back. People waste much time seeking everything in others. They are seeking love, happiness, and a host of things not understanding it starts with self. Until they understand this, they will continue to live life as they always had; settling, chaotic, and unhappy.

World Full of Sex Crazed People

This blog is specifically about the topic at hand. If sex is number one to you; you need to check yourself! Seriously! It has caused many in this world loads of problems. If it is most important to you then it means you will do anything to get it and you will do it to whomever and whatever. Now some of you think this is crazy, but it isn’t and we are seeing every single day it is true!

Whatever controls you controls your life! Last week I heard in some part of GA a grown man sodomized a 3 month old and his actions put her in critical condition. Sick right? Then in court he acted as if he didn’t understand the charges against him. Okay, playing crazy now, but he had enough sense to wait until he was alone with the baby to hurt her. That tells me he has sense. He just nasty, sick, and evil. I’ve heard of happening before.

When I was in graduate school I had to see some of the worst things pertaining to sex. I had to learn about people encounters with animals and all types of craziness. People are lost and not even trying to find their way! They see or hear about others committing the same acts they know they too are committing. Many haven’t been brought out in the public yet, but one thing about it God sees and knows it all. They ALL will one day have to pay the price for their actions!

People don’t understand there are differences between intimacy, sex, and a loving sexual relationship with someone. There is NO WAY on earth it’s anything other than plain sex when it’s forced through rape, incest, coercion, or molestation. If you’re a person who is all about sex then you’re a person who will probably do anyone or anything, because it’s the act you’re after, period! Intimacy can be sexual in nature or just a plain close nurturing relationship with someone or even with a pet, but NOT sexual in nature; it’s simply a close bond or attachment. A loving sexual relationship is a relationship involving intercourse with someone you love. It has meaning and intent. It’s NOT simply about sex, it’s much more!

This world is full of sex crazed people. It all goes back to brokenness. EVERYTHING leads to brokenness. Until people figure this out, they will remain the same! Many people are lifetime sufferers of their past experiences. They have allowed it to determine their destiny when it don’t have to! I believe the ONLY people who aren’t capable of understanding they need to change are those who are mentally incapacitated to a degree of not comprehending anything. Everyone else can understand although they choose NOT too!

People are completely fixated on their own self gratification which causes them to be led by their flesh. Their distorted thoughts and feelings lead them to do any and everything. They can’t think past their feelings. When they are focused on what they want to satisfy their flesh it’s what they will seek until they get it. People take all types of unthinkable and foolish risk to get what they want.

This topic is NEVER going away as long as this world is filled with these types of people. They’ve existed forever and will until Jesus returns! If ONLY people would comprehend they do NOT have to be the way they are. They do have the option to choose to change. Instead of trying to change many NOT all; have chosen to follow in the same footsteps of those before them. They’ve embraced the same mess they were once subjected too. It has tainted them completely and yet they continue to submit to it. They become drunks, drug addicted, liars, angry, abusive, cheats, pedophiles, molesters, people committing incest, rapist, into bestiality, sex offenders, sex crazed and all types of sexual immorality.

Sex with a underage child is wrong! There is NO WAY to clean it up, water it down, or sugarcoat it. Sad how people see it happening all around the world, in their families, in organizations, etc, but they still too afraid to address the elephant in the room. People can make all the excuses in the world it is still wrong! Satanic rituals involving children are wrong! I don’t care if a person was once victim they should seek help if they need it and NOT victimize. An infant, toddler, and adolescent can’t defend for themselves and anyone sexually abusing them are weak pathetic individuals. If the crime can be proven anyone who abuses an infant, toddler, or adolescent shouldn’t be allowed a day in court. I feel this is one of our biggest problems in society. Why waste tax dollars on people doing this? If it is proven; anyone who sexually abuses a teenager doesn’t deserve a day in court. This is simply my opinion. If you do the crime shut up and do the time, period! For these people it is about sexual abuse whether it’s penetration or just fondling; they are trying to get some type of sexual satisfaction. Society says for rapist it’s not about sex. I believe it’s not about sexual intercourse for all rapist, but I believe it IS about sex for all. When it’s not about sexual intercourse it’s still about sex, because they are trying to project a feeling of pain, through sex.

There are those sitting in jail, those who NEED to go to jail, those who are still (sneaking, tipping, dodging, and preying on kids and adults). They will do anything under the sun to anyone and anything.

One reason marriages aren’t sacred for many is because of sexual immorality. The marriage is defiled. People don’t even realize it too comes from brokenness. People want to get into marriages carrying the same exact baggage. No marriage will EVER work this way! People getting into relationships carrying the same old baggage and then wonder why they are having so many issues. You get what you accept from others! These afflicting ways don’t discriminate. It relates to young, old, rich, poor, all races, etc. etc.

The minds of millions need to change, if they do their hearts and everything else will follow. People don’t want to change because they are familiar with the way they are even though it causes chaos and destruction in their lives AND in the lives of others. This world is full of perverted sick people who don’t understand the repercussions for their ways until it’s too late. Trying to hide and sneak does nothing in efforts towards healing and changing. It keeps people stuck in their sick minded ways doing the same sick things!

Real Love and Relationships

I can talk or write about this all day, people will still continue to get into bad unhealthy relationships. Many will stay in them and unfortunately some will die in them. My prayer is people learn to love self therefore they will never allow anyone to do to them anything they want. People treat you exactly how you’ve allowed. They always have and always will! Why? It’s because many of the people individuals choose to become involved with are broken too!

If you don’t love yourself you’re subject to get anything in your quest for love. I know people have all types of different views on love. However, if you don’t love yourself, then there’s no way you will understand what love is and what it isn’t. I find this is the biggest problems in relationships. I believe this is true, because many people get into relationships based on what lies within without even realizing it. What do I mean? I mean people who are toxic or tainted (broken) make all decisions and choices based on what is ailing them inside. They look for love in all of the wrong ways, wrong places, and with the wrong people merely because they don’t understand their needs and wants are different. Most people move off of what they want versus what they need.

Love is a lot of things, but it isn’t what most people think it is. Love is kind, understanding, patient, respectful, peaceful, sharing, communication, affection, long lasting, healthy etc. It is not hurtful, disrespect, controlling, abusive, demanding, all about sex, unhealthy, obsession, possession, being taken for granted, being used, etc. Sadly many people settle for what love isn’t versus what love is.

Getting into relationships with married people or with those already in relationships shows something is wrong within. Getting into relationships with people who are abusive in anyway shows something is wrong within. Getting into relationships trying to save or fix someone shows something is wrong within (you can’t fix or save anyone and vice versa) individual’s must want it for self! Getting into relationships based on what a person looks like, sex, or what they have shows something is wrong within. Getting forced into relationships out of pregnancy or because family and friends coerce you, shows something is wrong within. Getting into relationships because you can’t stay single shows something is wrong within. The inability to spend time with you without anyone else shows something is wrong within. Seeking security and happiness in someone else shows something is wrong within.

I can go on all day with examples. The bottom line is people need to start looking at self. Stop pointing the finger and blaming others for the life you choose to lead and the decisions and choices YOU make. People can’t take your power unless you give it and they can’t treat you any kind of way unless you allow it.

People must want to change. Those who don’t want change are those who are stuck in their wrong ways of thinking. They have allowed their past experiences to continue chaos and drama in their lives leading to a life of destruction. They can find peace nowhere, because they have none within. No one can change this for a person other than the individual his or herself!

This world is full of broken people who choose to remain broken. It’s a choice! As I’ve always stated and will continue to state “people willfully choose to stay the way they are when they have the option to change.” If you don’t move your feet you stay in the same place right? Life will keep on rolling, but you will remain stuck in the same mindset doing the same things and allowing the same things in your life.

No one will ever love you like you ONCE you learn to love yourself. Stop looking for something in someone else that you first need in yourself. People who continue to seek love from others will ALWAYS end up unhappy in unhealthy relationships. No relationship should be a constant struggle. There shouldn’t be drama and chaos all of the time, when there is SOMETHING IS WRONG! Get to know and love yourself before trying to get into a relationship. How do you expect to get to know and love someone else when you don’t know or love yourself? People choose unnecessary drama in life!