Unfaithful Accept it or Not

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You know it’s going on long before you act or react to it. A lot of people try to force something that shouldn’t be. They try to make people love them or want to stay when in reality you can’t. Unfortunately some people want to have a blind eye to the truth, it doesn’t make it any different. The truth is the truth. People can choose to do something about it or do nothing at all. Doing nothing at all is still doing something!

Life goes on! You can’t make a person stay or love you. If a person wants out open the door for them. If a person chooses to keep straying lock the door behind them when they go and don’t open it again. I’m not telling anyone to give up on their relationship. What I am saying is when in a relationship if you’re in a constant negative stay of mind it’s time to reexamine your relationship and yourself. When you no longer have any intimacy for your significant other it’s time to reassess. When you’re constantly arguing and fighting, it may be time to move on. If you have no peace of mind, it messes you up mentally, physically, and spiritually. When a person can’t stay faithful to you, then you learn to be faithful to yourself and send them down the road. People treat you how you let them treat you! No excuses!

MEN: Men who cheat almost never fail to show their hand. They simply lose their minds over someone new. They begin to do things they didn’t do before. They become bitter towards who they are with. They treat the one they supposed to love with disrespect and hatefulness. They dismiss the feelings and concerns of the one they are with. They always find an excuse to start an argument or to leave. They do stupid things, period!

Although responsible in some ways some men are still immature. These types of men are different, they are never satisfied with who they are with no matter how good. They want what they want without fully comprehending the risks. They normally try to control the one they are with even though they are out doing their thing. They don’t think things through, they simply go for what they want! They fail to realize the hurt and chaos they will cause. They are more interested in satisfying their flesh. Mature men, understand the risk and choose to be mature men to who they are with.

Maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age. Some people take a lot longer to mature. No matter how old some people are they are still led by their flesh. It’s sad! If a person don’t want to be committed in their relationship then they shouldn’t be in one. They should not be in any relationship until they deal with what’s causing them to be the way they are. Those who get into relationships do nothing but cause drama.

Individual’s who are constantly trying to be with other people when they are already in relationships don’t fully love self. If you don’t really love you, you can’t love someone else the way they deserve. These individual’s will always put aside what is right and wholesome to satisfy their flesh. Many people are making bad choices and decisions based on who they really are. What’s going on inside ruins what’s going on outside!

WOMEN: When a woman is with someone she will do all she can to make it work, but if there is no change her attitude will change and then her feelings and actions follow. If she meets someone who an thinks he’s given her what she’s not getting at home some women will stray. Some women will get so fed up they will leave. I thinks it’s wrong to stray or to leave one person for another. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side! Women show their hands too. They begin to stop doing the things they used to do. They find excuses also, they’ll do anything to get away from who they are with.

A lot of the problem with people is many get into relationships for all of the wrong reason. Most times when it’s wrong, the same way it started will normally be how it ends. You can’t expect to get into a relationship the wrong way and something great come from it. Most times it won’t work!

If you can’t love who you’re with, then perhaps you need to move on. Trying to stay where you’re not loved and respected is hard. Staying with someone when you are always straying is wrong. If you’re not happy with who you’re with why stay? I know for many people straying has nothing to do with who they are with, it has everything to do what’s going on inside of self that causes them to be who they are. At the end of the day I don’t care the reason, if a person can’t be faithful, they definitely shouldn’t be in a relationship. Many people in this world miss out on good relationships, because they are hanging on to bad ones!

Seeking Love in a Loveless Relationship

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I don’t know how many ways to say it or write it. You’re being treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. Loving him or her isn’t enough when they don’t love you. Stop putting yourself in situations where you’re used and taken advantage of. Stop giving everything you have thinking it will make him or her feel about you the way you feel about them. It won’t!

Love is only a figment of your imagination when you’re not loved in return. Far too many people are in loveless relationships. It’s loveless when it’s one sided. You loving him or her means nothing if they don’t love you back. If you loved yourself you wouldn’t ever allow someone to treat you any way they want. If you loved yourself you wouldn’t be desperate to be loved by someone who doesn’t love you.

Look at yourself and deal with you! Stop trying to love someone and give them your heart when you don’t even love yourself. You and your heart will be trampled on. Love isn’t one sided, not at all. A person who truly loves you knows it’s a word with action, which does NOT mean using you and taking you for granted. People who treat you this way are all for self, it doesn’t involve loving you. They know what they want and they know it’s not you! Stop selling yourself short! A significant other will stay in a relationship knowing full well their minds and hearts are many moons away! A person will ONLY treat you how you allow them to treat you! If you have no standards or requirements, then you get none! It’s as simple as that!

In these types of relationships, there is always someone else in the equation. The people you’re involved with always have other agendas. Matter of fact, they are people who aren’t happy with self. They too don’t know how to give or receive love. Love starts with you; the individual. You must be able to love yourself before you can effectively and in a healthy manner love someone else! If you don’t you will take or do anything in the name of love; when it’s not love at all!

The problem with many folks is they are too busy seeking something most never really experienced before. Instead of focusing on self they put all emphasis on the person they chose, when technically that person hasn’t chosen them. Regardless of how good a person makes you feel, if they don’t feel the same as you, it’s not about you. Sadly many people try to force something with someone when it was ever meant to be. This is why many are in unhealthy and loveless relationships.

The person you love is definitely some of the problem, but your biggest problem is yourself. People get all wrapped in their feelings and emotions allowing them to take control. Anything you have given your power to has control over you, (feelings, emotions, people, things). People who never really loved you or wanted to be with you will always show it in some way or show how. Those who deny it are denying the truth! It’s why they are in loveless relationships. They believe it’s love, but it’s not! Many people hold themselves back from true love trying to hang on to somone who wasn’t ever intended for them.

Going Back Isn’t Necessarily the Best Decision

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I’m sure many of you have found this to be true. It works for some people but not for most. Too many go back into relationships they fought their way out of only to find things haven’t changed. They find themselves right back in states of misery.

Many people go back into relationships because they feel too insecure to be alone. They think they’re going back because they love the person, but in reality it’s due to insecurities. There are many people who would rather stay in unhealthy and loveless relationships then to be alone. This is sad!

Unfortunately sometimes when people go back things become far more intensified than before. Sadly many have even lost their lives after going back. They had all of the signs prior to leaving yet they go back. Then you have those who didn’t lose their lives, but they’ve become emotionally dead from all of the pain and misery they’re enduring. They find themselves feeling unhappy and even worse off than before. They realize what they left is the same things they’ve gone back to.

I’m not saying people shouldn’t try to make their relationships work. However, what I am saying is this; people need to do whatever they need to do while they’re together. They should do all they can without any regrets; therefore when they walk away they know they’ve done all they could do. We can’t change no one but the man in the mirror, but we certainly can lose ourselves in trying. For those who decide to go back, I’m sure many are regretful. If it didn’t work the first time, more than likely it won’t the next time around. Like I said earlier, sometimes it works, but most times it don’t.

I believe people should stop basing their happiness on other people when they’re not happy with their own lives. If  you’re broken inside no matter how you try to hide it, what’s going on inside will show in some form or another. How a person feels about his or herself shows in the choices of people they choose to be with. If you don’t believe me sit back and think about the situation you’re in or the situations of people you know. How you allow people to treat you says something about how you feel about yourself. The chaos you allow in your life says something about how you feel about yourself.

A person can not truly embrace happiness when it comes along when in fact they’re not happy with self. They aren’t capable of understanding what true happiness is, because they’ve become accustomed to a life of misery. This is why we see people getting into relationships with the same types of people they recently got out of relationships with. It’s also why so many accept and will do anything in the name of what they think is love.

WHEN THE ONE YOU LOVE WALKS OUT

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One thing I’ve learned in life is you can’t put your everything into another person. What I mean is this. There are many women who are in relationships where they have relinquished everything to the man they love. When I write everything it’s exactly what I mean. These women allow their men to run and control every aspect of their lives and relationships.

Many completely rely on their men (husbands). These women basically have lost touch with who they are as women. The only thing they do is keep the house up and take care of any children they may have. They don’t know anything about the finances, health or life insurance, bills, etc. Some of the women think they’re in control but in reality they’re not and it’s proven when the one they love walks away.

These women find themselves in places they never thought they would be. They lost touch with daily living and because of it they don’t know how to do the most simple things. Many find themselves completely broken and close to nervous breakdowns. They’re sad, crying, and depressed. They can’t seem to pick of the pieces and move on.

I’m not saying a couple shouldn’t love one another and be in love. What I’m saying is no one is worth you losing yourself over; forgetting who you are and completely letting someone else take over YOUR life. Your life isn’t for anyone else to take over.

Unfortunately people get too comfortable in their relationships especially some women. These women begin to totally depend on their men for security. As long as they feel safe and secure they don’t try to stand as individuals in their relationships. Some think they have it together because they have a roof over their heads, food to eat, and clothes to wear. After they’re left alone they realize just how little control they had.

I’ve always said and will always say there are always signs of any and everything. Anyone who says “there were no signs” is a person who doesn’t face the truth. There are always signs, but people allow their feelings and emotions to block them from seeing these signs UNTIL it’s too late. This doesn’t have to be the case for anyone if people face reality and the truth as it presents itself. Believe me, it will at some point present itself and it doesn’t take long. People choose to be oblivious.

Life goes on! If you love someone and they walk away from you most times it’s to be with someone else. If this is the case move on. Pick up the pieces and move on. I don’t care how long you’ve been with someone if that person no longer wants to be with you don’t sit around crying your eyes out day in and day out. Don’t fall into depression and dark places over someone who doesn’t want to be with you. It’s senseless. Stop devaluing yourselves!

Life goes on whether you choose to move with it or not. Never forget you’re an individual. You can love a person without allowing them to completely take over and run your life. Always stand on your own two feet because they are yours to stand on. If you act powerless it’s exactly how you will be treated. If you act weak and insecure, it’s how you will be treated. If you’re clueless you will live to regret it. If you allow someone to treat you any kind of way, believe me; after figuring you out any way THEY choose is exactly how you will be treated. Why? It’s because they know they can get away with it.

There are men who are in this situation as well and the same goes for them. When you love someone people learn exactly how they can treat you by your actions towards them. It shouldn’t ever be all about how you feel and treat the other person. It also has to be about how they feel about you and how they treat you. Too many are so focused on being all they can possibly be to the other person; when all the other person is doing is taking what is given, yet giving NOTHING in return. Some individuals make their everything about the person they’re with; totally forgetting about what they want and need. It’s why so many relationships are sexless, loveless, together but separate, and simply unhealthy period. One is in it all the way while the other isn’t even half way in. You can’t see it until it’s too late, if you’re blind to the truth!