Choosing Man’s Way Over God’s Way

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Many people of the world today have chosen man’s way over thus sayeth the Lord. Everything God says is the right way, man is saying it’s the wrong way. Everything God says is the wrong way, man is saying it’s the right way. What’s even sadder is people don’t fear or respect God. They are boldly doing what they want to do! This world has adopted the “Burger King” concept of “have it your way.” There will be repercussions and consequences for all things against the Son and the Father!

Jesus died for our sins, so we don’t have to die for them. God could have easily brought him down from the cross. He stayed there for you, you, you, and I. Yet, this world is right back in the same predicament of the Bible days. People are doing whatever, whenever, and wherever. They have no shame about anything they do or say! To put icing on the cake, many of these people profess Christ as their Lord and Savior! Lies, lies, lies and people who do this know they are telling lies, lies, lies! I’m not trying to spiritually shame anyone, I’m trying to help you realize you need to get it right before it’s too late!

Time is moving right along, it waits for no man. However the most beautiful thing is even though time is moving quickly, everyday we get to see is a day given for us to change our ways and come to the Lord. It is time given to stop mocking God and playing church. People mock God and play church to please man. They go to church out of tradition, but also out of dedication to man, yet they have no commitment or dedication to Jesus. No one can know the Father if they have no relationship with the Son!

Many people don’t want to give up this world; they think they’ll miss something if they do. They are very correct, they will miss something detrimental to them, which is Heaven trying to live for this world! Many people have and are falling away, because they have no roots. Many people want to straddle a fence that doesn’t exist.

I don’t care who YOU think you are or what pedal stool you’ve been put on. All of our knees will someday bow. No one is above the Master! We will all give an account of what we’ve done against God. There are only 2 roads to take; the right one or the wrong one. Many willfully choose the wrong road, because they don’t want to give up the wrong for the right. They don’t want to let go of things of this world.

You can’t take with you your old ways on a new journey with the Lord, you have to put them down. You must let them completely go and not turn back to pick them up. If a person truly wants to serve God they can and they will give up this world. To love Him, you must live for Him, period! Those who don’t want to give up their old ways are the first ones to say you’re judging them. They are the first ones who will say no one is perfect. These are old, old, excuses to stay where you are in the world.

I will not tell you a lie, not one time have I desired to go back to my old ways. When I came up out of my mess, I was thankful how God kept me safe from all dangers seen and unseen, natural and supernatural. I went through some stuff, but He kept me. It could have been me many times, but yet He kept me. I wouldn’t turn back for nothing or no one! God has been too good to me! When I was in the world I thought I was having fun, I did what I wanted to do. However, when I developed my relationship with Jesus, I realized all the things I had done against Him. It made me weep, I still weep when I think about where He brought me from! I can’t turn back, nothing is back there for me. I know for a fact 100% people can live Holy lives if they choose.

The devil has his agenda and has had it from the start. He makes things appealing to the eyes, he tickles the ears, he gives people this and that and sadly some think what the devil gave them is from the Lord, and he makes things glitter to look like gold when it isn’t. He is doing his job of lying and deceiving people. He pulls all types of arsenals out of his bag of tricks to make people think the world is a better option. Nothing a person gains in this world has value in Heaven or hell. We will take nothing with us when we leave this world. How we chose to live determines our eternal home. Yet, people are still choosing this world as if they will be here forever. No, we all will someday depart this world! People must get ready for this transition. We all have a chance right now to get it right while the blood is running warm through our veins.

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TRUSTING SOMEONE WHO HAS CHEATED ON YOU

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The first thing I want to say is it is possible. I won’t even try to make excuses for people who cheat on their significant others. To me there’s no excuse. I don’t believe in it at all. Nothing just happens and it’s never a mistake. People willfully get into affairs (physical, emotional, or both) It’s not a fluke. It’s an intended and a willful act. Before people decide to cheat they should always put themselves in the shoes of their significant others. Could you handle it if it happened to you? If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out. You must always consider the consequences, because believe me; you will face them.

When you’re out cheating you don’t know what you’re getting into (especially when you’re cheating with random people). There are many true stories about people who get with sexy men or women who unknowing to them have AIDS or other diseases. You have sex with these people risking your life and the lives of your significant others.

Some of you end up with psychos who end up wreaking havoc in your lives and the lives of your loved ones. You ever seen a movie called “Fatal Attraction?” If you haven’t check it out! Then there are some of you who cheat with individuals who take you for everything you have. There are many types of scenarios I could mention. When you’re cheating you never know what you’re getting into. It may be all fun and games to you, but it may be a completely different story to the one you’re cheating with or cheating on.

However, through it all and despite of it all it is possible to move on and beyond it if individuals are willing. This post is for both the one who is finding it hard to trust again and for the ones who’ve cheated.

The biggest problem I’ve found with individuals learning to trust again is when the person who defiled the relationship by cheating says “I need for you to trust me,” knowing full well they’re still cheating. Some of these cheaters nag the heck out of their significant others to trust them. Why? Why ask for forgiveness and trust when you’re #1 still cheating, #2 not serious in your asking,  and # 3 you’re trying to force it?

Some cheaters cry their eyes out. You carry on like big babies pleading your sorry until the cows come home, yet you’re still cheating. You know you are! You have the gall to get mad when your significant other can’t seem to trust you. You will say things like, “if you can’t trust me we can’t keep going on like this, or I need for you to trust me.” Please! People like this have some nerves! You have no idea the pain you’ve caused. The only time you all seem to get it is when you’re on the receiving end of the situation. Get yourself together and straighten out your life. You don’t deserve to be trusted if you’re not doing right. Stop asking when you know you’re DEAD wrong! Stop causing pain to the one you’re supposed to love. Figure out why you’re the way you are and deal with your issues. This is the only way your relationship will work, you must change your ways.

Many of you know you’re not serious when you ask for forgiveness. You want trust without honesty. What I mean is, you want to be trusted, but you’re not willing to do right by your significant other. You’re not ready to give up what you’re doing. You’re still lying, deceiving, and cheating. If you don’t change you’re risking the possibility of losing what you have. You can’t move forward until you fix you.

Some of you give ultimatums. The nerve of you! This isn’t right! You cause the problem and then you turn around and give ultimatums when the other person is finding it hard to trust or believe in you. To trust again IS NOT on your terms or whenever you feel it’s time. You have to give the other person the opportunity to accept and deal with it. You don’t have the right to try an force it. You cheat, but then you turn around and try to tell your significant other it’s time to move on. You don’t want to hear or talk about it anymore. This isn’t right! You must give your significant other time to process it, deal with it, and heal. They have every right to decide if they will stay or leave your cheating butt behind.

Some of you won’t change your ways no matter what. You want to be forgiven, ONLY because you don’t want to hear about it anymore. IF you’re forgiven on YOUR terms it is putting the ball in your court. Your significant others has basically given you the power. You know you have the upper hand and you’re likely to continue cheating. You’re masters of manipulation. You’ve lied, begged, and plead so much you’re a master at it.

Sometimes people cheat and after realizing the devastation it has caused they will not cheat again. These are individuals who realized and accepted the consequences of their actions. They understood they were wrong and decided to never put their loved one through it again. Although you were wrong to cheat, I can still take my hat off to you for cleaning your act up. It may have cost some of you your relationships, but the most important thing is learning from it and never doing it again.

Often there are individuals who can’t seem to get past infidelity. It definitely takes time. A person has every right to take the time they need to deal with it. A lot to times individuals make decisions to leave their relationships. They don’t want to continue on with someone they can’t trust and who has defiled the relationship. On the other hand there are others who decide to stay. They accept what has happened, they deal with it and move on. Then you have those individuals who can’t seem to get over it. They claim to forgive, but they can’t let it go. If you say you forgive and you choose to stay you must be willing to move on. You can’t keep bringing it up every time the other person looks around. No matter how much it pains you, you must move on. There has to be a point where you either get over it or decide to move on away from the relationship. You CANNOT constantly bring it up, because you will further damage an already damaged relationship. Your relationship may as well be over, because it won’t work if you continue to bring up the affair.

Some of you are so desperate you will constantly endure infidelity in your relationships. You will act as if it’s your fault. It wasn’t you who cheated and you shouldn’t take the blame. Many cheaters will put the blame on you in order to take it off of them. However, when you constantly accept being cheated on it says a lot about you! You’re insecure and you have issues that have debilitated you. Your significant other know they can do whatever they want as long as they come home and throw you a bone every now and then. It’s so sad to see individuals who allow themselves to be treated so disrespectfully. Cheating is an issue within the cheater, but to constantly accept this type of treatment also shows you’re someone who has issues as well. As an individual it doesn’t matter who you are; you will be treated by others exactly how you allow. According to how you treat yourself, people know exactly how to treat you. You take foul treatment from others according to issues you have and allow to dictate your life.

A one time affair may or may not end the relationship. It doesn’t have to end the relationship IF the cheater never cheats again and is truly remorseful for what they’ve done. However, when a person doesn’t take in consideration how they’ve hurt you and they continue to cheat, this is another story. To me, this type of individual doesn’t deserve to constantly receive free passes. SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE! His or her feet must be held to the fire and they should have to deal with the consequences of their actions. It may mean them going to counseling or seeking some form of help. It may also mean existing the relationship. It’s the decision of the person being cheated on don’t let the other person make the decision for you.

There are many reasons people come up for cheating. The bottom line is people can make any excuse they want for cheating, they’re ALL wrong! There is no excuse for it. If you’re in a committed relationship you shouldn’t become involved with someone else. It takes two people to make a relationship work, but it only takes one of the two to mess it up. Some of you are trying to have the best of both worlds, but it just doesn’t work! If you can’t stay committed DO NOT COMMIT!

AVOID THE CHEATER

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Okay, this is for both ladies and gents. You’ve been told they’re in a relationship, so what should you do? I think you should RUN! Game over! If you decide to stay you need to stop and re-evaluate who you are as a person. As I mentioned in an earlier post, a cheater is disrespecting you, who they’re with, and his or her self. Why would you continue to move on with this type of relationship? It shows a lack of self respect. I don’t care what reason a person gives for staying in the other relationship. It doesn’t matter! It’s off limits.

I’ve sat across from too many people who subject themselves to this type of situation. People get involved with those who are already in relationships; yet feel heart broken when they can’t get out of it what they want. You get exactly what you signed up for. You want to complain and give ultimatum’s. You have no right to do either. You knew the situation before you made the decision to continue with it.

Granted some people don’t know the other person is already in a relationship, because they lie. However, if you take heed to the signs that are present, I’m sure you could figure out something is going on. A person who’s taken can’t always be available and they have certain ways of doing things to try an prevent getting caught. They make excuses for everything. They use their moms, kids, other family members, the jobs, friends, or something for why they can’t be with you. They make excuses when they’re on the phone. Some will be cheating and talking to their significant other while they’re with the person they’re cheating with. If you think it’s okay, something is seriously wrong. A person who accepts this has no self esteem and insecurities they need to deal with. As long as this type of person gives the cheater their power, it will be taken.

Figure out why you feel you’re unworthy of someone who can love you, be honest with you, and be loyal to you. Learn how to love yourself in such a way that you won’t ever allow anyone to disrespect you this way again. If they are cheating with you, it means they will cheat on you, just as they cheat on their significant other. Cheaters have issues and it’s why they cheat. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with their significant others; it’s all about who a cheater is as a person.

I don’t care if they’re not married. It matters if they’re in a relationship with someone else. The bottom line is; he or she are already in a relationship. Case closed! How do you think relationships blossom into marriage or serious relationships? They start by being in a relationship with someone. So if the couple isn’t married, simply being in a relationship together matters. So please don’t get into a relationship with anyone who is already in one with someone else. I don’t care what they have to offer you, don’t do it.

Learn how to love yourself. Develop your confidence and self esteem. Face whatever insecurities you’re dealing with. Most times the insecurities evolve around unresolved past issues. Many people with unresolved past issues normally make bad life decisions especially when it comes to relationships. People treat you exactly how you allow them to treat you. Some people prey on the weaknesses of others. If you settle for trash, trash is what you’ll get. Don’t be fooled by what’s presented to you. Face the truth! When someone you’re interested is taken you should not become involved with this individual. You can definitely control it by avoiding it. If you dabble with it in your mind you’re only keeping it going in your mind. This can be avoided if you do the right thing; which is to avoid it and put if from your mind. You deserve better!

People could save themselves so much drama if they would stop going off of what they feel with their hearts and think of the entire picture (using their brains). It may feel good, but a situation such as this is never good. Anytime you cheat with someone who’s already in a relationship you’re wrong, wrong, wrong. Think about how you would feel if it happened to you. You wouldn’t like it. Treat people how you would like to be treated. You deserve better, but if you settle and allow any ole thing into your life, it is exactly what you will get. You can’t be mad at no one but yourself.

RED FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIPS

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Many get into new relationships feeling solely with their hearts. Love isn’t blind, people are and because of it many willfully get into bad relationships that often leave them in places they never imagined and sometimes it means; dead. When an individual get into a new relationship, it’s imperative they look at the whole picture and not simply what’s on the surface. Feeling solely with the heart is never good. When people do this they miss or completely ignore the signs staring them right in their faces. We all have missed the signs at some point in life due to immaturity. I’ve always said, maturity doesn’t automatically comes with age. Unfortunate, but true! Stop making excuses for bad decisions and figure out why you make them over and over. As you continue to read, I pray you can take something away from what’s written.

THE FIRST MEETING
This is where it all goes wrong. Why you may ask? It’s because this is where the focus is lost. People lose focus (some never had it in the first place) when money, status, title, looks, sex, or material things comes into play. Yes sex; some people go at it right away. RED FLAG. It’s a red flag, because in 2014 some people actually still have sex on their first meeting. This is a clear indication there’s something wrong with both individuals. Some people use what they have (looks, title, sex, status, money) to drawn others in. When people do this, it means something is wrong with them. None of it will last (money may, but then again it may not). One thing for sure is it can’t EVER buy love, it can buy the person, but NEVER love. People come in different cultures, shapes, sizes, and genders, and populations and they have looks, titles, status, money, and good sex. Nothing a person has tells who they are upon meeting them. If an individual doesn’t know who they are as a person, how can they figure out anyone else? They can’t and this is where it goes wrong.

ARE THEY ALREADY INVOLVED

Is the person you’re attracted to and want to know better already in a relationship? If so, RED FLAG! This clearly tells you major information about the other person. Some of these people will swear they’re good people and they may be on the norm, but the bottom line is they aren’t in this particular situation. If a person cheats with you, they will cheat on you. Too many continue on with these relationships, setting themselves up for heartache and pain. A man or woman who is already in a relationship yet trying to get with you is a form of disrespect all around. They have no respect for self, their significant other, or you. They make you feel special or honored that they want to get with you. It’s total bull. Stop falling for it. This has red flags all over it. Anyone who goes along with it, it tells you something about yourself. You have securities you need to deal with that make you sale yourself short. You will find you’re simply not that special. The person will cheat on you too! This causes unnecessary drama in the life of anyone who goes along with starting a relationship with someone who’s already involved. A cheater no matter how good he treats you is a player, bottom line. If you accept a player expect to be played. Don’t do it!

WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THEM

Outside of already being in a relationship there are so many other things that could be going on. I will try to name a few below:

Pedophiles present themselves to women everyday and women are accepting them into their lives and the lives of their children. Many children are abused by these types of people while the women willfully allow it. It’s tragic, but it’s the truth. If you don’t believe it, research it yourself. I don’t know what women or men think when they get with these types of individuals. “A zebra doesn’t change its stripes.” You know why individuals get with these types of people? It’s because they have issues themselves. Children have no say or control over what their parents do. It’s not fair to children who have to deal with the mistakes of their parents, by having to be raped or molested by pedophiles brought into their lives by their messed up parent/s. Too many women know this up front, but they’re blind by their way of thinking.

Physical, Verbal, Mental, Emotional Abusers are people with their many issues. These types of individuals don’t face their issues, instead they take them into the lives of others. Those who get involved with these types of people know through signs something is wrong, but again they are being lead by their hearts. It’s not cute to be playfully slapped or called names. Some individuals get involve with others who immediately show signs of this, because it’s all they know and are accustomed too. RED FLAGS! During dating, NEVER settle for any form of abuse. Walk away while you can. Too many are trapped because they choose to follow their hearts and didn’t accept the truth staring them in their faces in the very beginning. When the abuse escalates later, it is absolutely no coincidence. People want to make excuses for not seeing the signs, but the signs are always present in some way whether subtle or not.

Do they contribute too or take away from the relationship? If they can’t or won’t contribute; please tell me what is the point? There isn’t any! Too many people get with individuals who are slothful and have no ambition or drive of any sorts, because of good looks. We all want someone attractive, but if all you’re going by is physical attraction, SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU! People are attracted to others for many reasons other than physical. There is nothing wrong with having someone good looking, but if that’s all they have; BYE! So many go wrong here; they’re allowing their hearts to lead. Some of you see someone good looking and you lose focus. If you lose focus, baby you lose control! The good looking person you’re so into could have a disease or could be a complete lunatic. You ever heard “everything glitters isn’t gold.” Trust me; it isn’t! If you’re the type to go for this, RED FLAG! Something is wrong with you and therefore you need to figure it out! Stop being desperate, because desperate people are treated exactly how they act.

Do they practice a sexual behavior different from your preference? If they do RED FLAG! Do not go any further into the relationship. If you’re a woman who gets with a man who also like men, do you think you’re it for him? If you’re a man who gets with a woman and she likes other women, do you think you’re it for her? YOU’RE NOT and it’s foolish for you to think so. You think what you have or how you can lay down the sex means you will change the other person. YOU’RE DREAMING! What the other likes will eventually surface in your relationship and slap you right in your face. It will not be a coincidence. Know your limitations and boundaries and stand firmly on them. No one is worth you doing something you don’t want in the name of what you think is love. It’s NOT LOVE!

Are they into substance abuse? If you know they are, please don’t falsely think that you can save them, because you can’t. What normally happens is you’re pulled into their world. Are you willing to risk it? THINK ABOUT THIS; if this person means you any good, they wouldn’t try to coerce you into their world. I don’t care what they do or say when they’re sober, you can’t fix them. Those who get involved with substance abusers often lose themselves in the midst of their fight to save the other person. The only person you can save is you! “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.” A person can love you and change for a brief moment to get you, but they will ALMOST ALWAYS revert back to their old ways, because they didn’t change for themselves. A person has to change because they want too and not for anyone else in order for it to be lasting change. You can support them, but please allow these types of people to get help and come out of their addictions, before you go falling all in love. You will wish you had!!!

There are always signs and these signs indicates controlling, abusive, possessive, or obsessive behaviors, but individuals choose to over look the signs. Choosing to continue in relationships with any of the types of people listed above is a mistake. You will always get exactly what you allow and accept. People make terrible decisions in thinking they can change the person. No vagina or penis is magical. Individuals only have a distorted way of thinking due to issues they have; which contributes to their decisions. No one can change someone else. You can’t save another person. You can’t figure out someone when you don’t know yourself. People constantly pack junk on top of junk and end up with a complete mess!!

Work on yourself and figure out why you do what you, why you allow what you allow, why you accept what you accept into your life. People do it most likely because they’re holding on to something they can’t do anything about (issues of the past). A person’s past will mess them up if allowed. It will keep them stuck and repeating the same cycle over and over. Actually it’s not their past it’s their way of thinking of memories of their pasts. Dealing with and changing the way you think will change your feelings, behaviors, and lives. It’s guaranteed!! You will make better decisions about everything and you will see the signs that are in your face. You will love you and know that you deserve better. You will walk away from things that aren’t good for you.