When a person blame others for who they’ve become they hold back self. They don’t afford self the opportunity to change, because they become stuck and fixated. No one and I mean no one can become who they are meant to be if they are stuck in mental states of blaming other people for who they are.
As I’ve said and written many times before, I believe people and situations can contribute to who people become, however the ultimate decision is the individual’s. No one on earth is exempt from struggles, troubles, adversities, trials and tribulations, woes, sorrows, hardships, misfortunes, tragedy, or whatever you want to label them. We all will go through things and unfortunately sometimes they are things done to us by other people. Still; how we choose to hold on to things is determined by the individual NOT the other people.
We all have our own lives to live. If a person put all their time and energy to reliving and rehashing old things; they give power to it. Many think they are hurting the other person/people by being angry and acting out, truth is people who do this are hurting self the most. If a person live their life blaming other people they do not have the chance to change. These types of people spend years of their lives blaming other people instead of changing and making their lives better.
No matter what you go through it doesn’t have a grip on you, people choose to grip and hold on to those things; even though they are long gone and the benefit of holding on is none. Many people spend their entire lives angry over things that happened years and years ago. They can’t mature or grow, because they are stuck in unhealthy mindsets.
Regardless of what a person goes through if they don’t deal with whatever it is/was they will go a lifetime allowing it to affect them. No one has to live this way. Many people give power to those things and the pain and memories become so strong it consumes them. They become angry and bitter and it sickens them like a disease. They spend all of their time sulking and complaining. They are miserable and unhappy, yet they continue to blame without ever trying to get control of their lives. Many bring children into the world and raise them just like they are to be sad, depressed, angry, and bitter about life.
We all have the ability to change if it is what we choose. No one can take your power if you do not give it! People must take back their power from their pasts. Okay, you went through what you went through, but it’s over now. I’m not downplaying it, I’m not saying it wasn’t traumatic, I’m not saying it didn’t happen, I’m not saying any of it. I am saying the actual event is over, yet people allow their memories to keep them trapped in a time warp as if the event is happening in their present.
I can talk about it because I’ve been their, however I have never been one to blame. I could have, but I didn’t and I never have. I can tell you things I’ve gone through you wouldn’t believe, but yet here I am telling you that you don’t have to allow it to ruin your life. I could be angry, bitter, and all of it, but I choose otherwise. I can’t let anyone take my spirit from me, because they didn’t put my spirit in me. People allow what they’ve gone through to suck the life out of them, when they don’t have too!
You decide you want better, embrace better, and then do better! Accept whatever has happened, forgive people, and forgive yourself. When you forgive people it heals you. You can’t move towards change by holding on to what once was!