Life Keeps On Rolling

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Sometimes you lose a loved one through death, breakup, or divorce, sometimes you refuse to let go of someone who doesn’t want you; sometimes they die, but you refuse to move on, sometimes although abused and controlled by someone due to inner issues you stay; sometimes despite it being the wrong person and wrong situation you still proceed, etc. I can go on and on. No matter the situation when a person can’t live without another person it’s time to look inward.

Regardless of what; a person must be able to move on. When a person can’t move on there is something inside blocking their ability to do so. Those who cannot move forward has other issues that has caused this inability. Most often this inability occurred long before the relationship.

There are far too many people who depend on their significant others or oftentimes other people and when they are no longer there they aren’t able to function. There have been some people so devastated they take their own lives or at least contemplate it. There are some people who fall into depression because they can’t move on. Then you have those who can’t deal with rejection and they will take the life of the person who they supposedly love/ed.

The first problem is giving your power to others. Depending on others for your happiness is the wrong choice for anyone to make. I think it’s a bad decision to sit back while your life is controlled by someone else. I don’t care who they are, how long you been together, or anything else! It’s foolish! I know people who had losses due to death and they are absolutely dysfunctional. They don’t know how to do anything on their own, because they gave all of the control to their significant other who has now passed away.

Some people give their power because they think it will make their relationships work, they think it’s love. Other times it’s because they have been bamboolzed by someone whose intent is to lure you into giving up control. It’s done subtly and because of it people don’t realize they’re controlled until it’s too late. I’ve spoken to people who are controlled like animals but they still refuse to move on, instead they stay. All of it is due to unresolved inner issues.

If you allow yourself to be controlled you have a problem. You have inside issues affecting your ability to make good decisions and choices. If you’re a person who is doing the controlling, the same goes for you. It’s a big problem whether it’s the taker or the giver. Inner issues must be dealt with in order for people to heal and receive the strength they need to grow and move forward.

A lot of people feel comfortable given their power to others. They think it’s a form of showing love. I will say again this is a bad choice any way you look at it. People treat you how you allow. If you solely depend on someone then how you’re treated is what you’ve allowed. You lay the foundation whether it leads to being controlled, abused, or whatever)! You’re your own problem! One thing you can count on is if you give your power it will be taken.

It’s okay to grieve; whether it’s because someone died or because of a separation or divorce. However, if you can’t function because of it then it is a problem. If you don’t know how to let go you’re your own problem. Life stops for no one, it keeps right on rolling. Those who won’t move on only causes self more unnecessary issues. The fixing starts within. No one can do it for you, only you can do it. People need to work on self before entering into relationships. Show me an unhealthy relationship I’ll show you unhealthy people. Period!

There are a lot of people who think they love self, but their decisions and choices tell the truth! Most have no clue of what love is yet they seek it with passion. People do many things due to brokenness. They don’t deal with past issues in order to heal, grow, and make better choices and decisions. Things won’t change until they do. When you heal it means growth has taken place. However, it cannot happen if people continue to go through the same things over and over never making change an option! These days and times people accept how they are as if it’s how they’re supposed to be; when it’s not! Instead of seeking better they resist change, willfully choosing their unhealthy cycles. They keep finding themselves in the same situations over and over. This will always happen until the discovery of self love is made.

People don’t understand what they do to self when they give others power and control over them. It can be very debilitating, crippling, and sometimes deadly. I’ve seen it time and time again. If I haven’t seen it I’ve at least heard of it. It’s not love! It’s not love for yourself or the other person. People will do to you what you allow. Learn to move on!

The majority of people are afraid to be alone or afraid to start over. Oftentimes it’s both! It’s sad when people don’t realize when they love self the rest doesn’t matter. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying being with someone can’t be a good thing. It can!!! I am saying if its over it’s over! If you love yourself you will understand, but if you’ve given away your power this truth is hard to embrace.

If you’re going to love someone start with yourself! In loving yourself it allows you to see what’s in your face. It allows you to understand your power and control belongs to you and no matter who; you won’t give it away. It allows you the ability to move on with your life if people die or if a breakup occurs. It’s not selfish to love yourself. It’s absolutely necessary!

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AFRAID TO BE ALONE, AFRAID TO START OVER

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Many in this world are in dead end relationships, but one or both are afraid to move on out of fear of being alone and/or fear of starting over. Sadly the truth is, although in a relationship, you’re still very much alone. However, you don’t understand this truth because to you although you’ve cried yourself to sleep on many occasions, you still feel some type of security, because he/she are still around. There may be many times you don’t see him or her, but because you know they will eventually come home you still have a sense of security.

Fear of being alone or starting over keeps many people in unhappy relationships. Many of you would rather know your significant other will eventually come home versus being completely alone. You’ve invested so much into the other person, but nothing in yourself and now you realize you’ve made it hard for yourself. Now you feel you have to remain in a loveless relationship for purposes of security.

For many it’s tough to be alone, but in honesty this can be a great time to grow and develop. If you base your life on your significant other you’re the type of person who makes life harder than it has to be. Loving someone and being in love is all good, but it’s complete hell when you’re in love by yourself. It’s hell when you’re with someone yet you feel completely alone. People who do this are individuals who need to really get to know who they are and what they need.

To be co-dependent on someone else gives that person power over you. You realize how powerless you’ve become when there’s no longer interaction between you and the person you’re with. You become overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness. Sadness fills your heart on many days. This is because you have no peace. You don’t completely love yourself and now the person you loved no longer loves you.

Many continue to stay out of a sense of security. They feel because they have a roof over their heads, clothes, and food to eat all is well. This is furthest from the truth. When you’re dependent on someone else for your basic needs it’s frightening to think of losing that sense of security.

Fear keeps many in places they don’t necessarily want to be. This clearly shows you’ve given your power to someone else. You watch that person move around you, but you’re not a part of that motion. You’re lonely when you have someone right there. You know your relationship is at a dead end, but fear keeps you stuck.

It’s not really about the other individual, it’s about you. You must focus on you. Learn to love yourself. Learn about you! You have to regain confidence and esteem in order to discover what is best for you. It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not okay to stay that way! Put one step in front of the other and get on with your life.

YOU MUST FORGIVE IN ORDER TO MOVE ON

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I wanted to write about this, because I had someone tell me last week that he felt he didn’t deserve to live, because of the things he’s done in his past. He was so sad about it.

He’s not alone. There are many broken people who are living and thinking this very way. There is nothing you can’t get past IF you choose to. People bring so much unnecessary pain to themselves. What you’ve done, you’ve done. It is OVER and you can’t redo it. Forgive yourselves and move on. Stop punishing yourselves for what’s done. It is behind you!

It’s always the memories of what a person has done that causes the residuals of what they’ve done to remain. You hold these things inside when there’s no benefit to do so. As you see; all it is doing is destroying you. Many have lost their faith due to the things they’ve done or have gone through.

When a person is so focused on the thoughts of what they’ve done or endured they lose the belief in the ability to change. Holding on to these things poisons the entire body (mentally, physically, and spiritually). People lose their will to move past it.

Do you not understand that this way of thinking is of your own doing? It is! No one is holding you to this way of thinking but you; the one who is going through it. You willfully engage in the thoughts triggering the memories. You willfully keep this way of thinking alive. You’ve become disengaged from reality, because you’re engulfed with those thoughts that you’ve allowed to control your life. You’ve done it for so long, it is what you now believe and because of it you’ve allowed yourself to be prisoner.

No one on earth has to live with this type of untruth; this type of turmoil. You MUST forgive those who’ve done you wrong and you MUST forgive yourself for all the things you’ve done to yourselves and to others. Today/right now is the time to let it all go. No matter what you’ve done or what you’ve gone through you can be free from the chains that you’ve allowed to bind you up for all of these years. Those chains are the thoughts that are still fresh in your mind. The thoughts that you won’t allow to fade. You keep feeding the memories and it’s why they continue to flourish.

Those thoughts do nothing but plant, cultivate, and grow those seeds of hurt. From those seeds grows many ugly things (all types of addictions, anger, hatred, suicide, homicide, thoughts of unworthiness, bitterness, and many other things). These things causes all of the feelings that comes along with those negative seeds, which leads to all of the negative behaviors.

Millions are walking around broken, because they can’t let go of  things that have them held in captivity (in their minds). They are completely broken. You DON’T have to live this way another day. Forgive, forgive, forgive and then let it go so you can move on. When negative thoughts come up; stand against them. Speak up, tell the thoughts to go away, because you’re aware of the trouble they’ve caused you for years and you won’t stand for it another day. Take charge and take control. The Bible says resist the devil and he will flee. It’s true!!! If you continue to entertain him; the longer he sticks around and the stronger he becomes. The stronger he becomes in your life the weaker you become. You no longer have the will to fight, you settle with the way things are when change is possible and right around the corner.

I know many of you will say it’s easier said than done. This may be true, however, the more you say it’s easier said than done, the harder it will be. It’s as easy OR as hard as you choose to make it. What I promise is the more you speak positive thoughts when the negative one comes; the negative ones will lessen. The way you get past it is by NOT entertaining those negative thoughts. You must release them and move on. Keep telling yourself it’s over, no matter what it is, it’s over. Then you will begin to believe it. Watch how things will change!!

It’s your decision. I pray you forgive and let it go so you can move on. Stop giving in to it and start fighting to get your life back!! No matter what, life is worth living and it’s worth living in peace!!