Although this can affect all facets of a person’s life, I am right back on the subject of people in abusive relationships. In the past two weeks I’ve heard of 2 women and 1 man dying at the hands of their significant others.
I’ve said and written countless times if you’re too afraid to leave you’ve stayed too long. If you feel trapped, you’ve stayed too long. Too many people continue to get into abusive relationships.
I believe what people accept and allow in their lives indicates who they really are. It shows a lot about the individual. People can pretend all day the truth shows in the decisions and bad choices people make.
No one is exempt! This happens to rich and famous as well as all races and genders. The only exempt people are those who have matured to a point of understanding who they are and loving self. These people will NOT allow just any ole person into their lives. They want what is best for them. They do NOT allow their hearts to lead without using their brains at the same time. They know what feels good isn’t necessarily good for them. They know “everything glitters isn’t gold.” They know people say one thing, but will do another. They aren’t led or influenced into relationships by their feelings, because they have learned to walk away from anything that is potentially unhealthy for them. It’s something people learn to do when they learn from their past choices and decisions, when they figure out and work on self, and when they learn to love self enough to demand better for self.
Many people are full of baggage they’ve carried for years which has caused them insecurities to include low esteem and low self confidence. The problem is people are in denial. Most people think they have it together, but if they would step away from their feelings and look at the truth they will see they don’t. People need to step out of their feelings into the truth. The truth hurts, because it’s the truth. The truth shows us the real deal whether it’s accepted or not.
Many people choose to get into and stay into unhealthy relationships because they are looking for love. They think by being with someone they will have love and security. You can’t find something in someone you don’t have in yourself. When people do this they are left with more heartaches and pains then before they entered into their relationships. They are totally blind by their perceptions of the truth. Their self esteem and confidence is very low and they normally are full of self blame. They lie and try to hide the abuse they endure and the take the blame many times when they are publicly abused.
All of this allowance and acceptance is due to what people feel about self. They don’t think they deserve better. They accept the wrong people into their lives. They desperately want love, when they obviously don’t know what love is, and when they don’t even love self.
When entering into relationships people must know what they need above what they want and the difference between the two. If you don’t know the difference research it and then think about it. In relationships getting what you want is based mostly on feelings of the heart (sex, money, looks, statuses of people, material things). None of it will hold a relationship together and none of it makes a person into who you wish for them to be. People are led by their feelings and emotions. They want what makes them feel good instead of what is good for them. This has led many into abusive relationships with deadly consequences for many.
Stop thinking it’s love when a person wants constant controlling tabs on you, when they tell you what to wear, when they tell you where you can and can’t go, when they ostracize you from others, when they want to control your time, when you can’t do anything without them being present, when they (push, spit on, hit you in any form) you, when they are very disrespectful in how they speak to you while alone or in public, or when they have total control over the relationship. There are many other things abusive people will do, NONE of it is love. They are displaying dangerous warning signs.
There is a difference between loving and caring for a person’s well being versus trying to control a person in obsessive and possessive ways. It is NOT love! People who do this has deep seated issues. Those who accept and allow it also has their own deep seated issues. There are ALWAYS signs, I don’t care if they’re subtle or not, they are always present. Love isn’t blind, people are blind in what they think is love.
Many people get caught up in their feelings. They think what they feel is real. They think what they feel is good for them. How do you know what’s good for you when you don’t know what love is and you don’t love yourself enough to adhere to what’s NOT good for you? People who are searching for love grab and hold on to anything making them feel good, even when it’s not good. They are blind by those feelings and emotions. They oftentimes make excuses for their abusers. They don’t understand this is enabling and giving their abusers the green light to continue abusing them. It has NOTHING to do with love.
When a person doesn’t know their worth outwardly they make act differently, but inside they are full of insecurities coming to the surface. It shows through the allowances and acceptances in their lives. A person can fake and pretend all day, but the truth shows. As I stated earlier NO ONE is exempt. Until people wake up they will continue to get into and stay in abusive relationships. Unfortunately many will continue to die at their hands of their significant others.