Playing The Fool Gets You Played

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Yeah, I wrote! Listen we can try to sugarcoat and water things down, but the truth of the matter if you’re dumbing yourself down or playing the fool in a relationship, the ONLY one getting played is you!

As a woman I’ve heard other women say, “I’m pretending I don’t know this or that is going on or I’m just going along with it, but I know what’s up.” If you’re acting like you don’t know, but you are still going along with it, then you’re still accepting whatever it is. If you’re pretending to not see what’s happening, although you really do see. Then you’re accepting it! You’re
“playing the fool only to get played.” As long as you go along with another person’s crap, they get to do to you whatever they like. It says something about them, but it also says something about you!

Both men and women do it. They turn a blind eye to their situations as if it will make things go away. NO, it doesn’t! In their hearts they know the mess they’re in, but try to act as if it’s alright, when it isn’t. You’re only (playing the fool only to get played).

I know many of you won’t see it this way and I don’t expect for you too, but the truth is still the truth! People make a million excuses as to why they put up with what they put up with. Remember, people will treat you EXACTLY how you allow and in fact you teach them how to treat you! That goes for family, friends, significant others, children, co-workers, or whomever.

In many relationships people put up with unnecessary crap, because of their individual true relationship with self. People who are dealing with unresolved issues will oftentimes seek out things they desire and want, dismissing what they truly need. They will go along to get along; which includes putting up with unnecessary mess to be a part of something or to be loved. Most are led by their feelings and emotions.

Folks can sense vulnerability in others. They see it in the actions of others. There are plenty of people with agendas different than the person they are with. They will get from you what they can and they will treat you exactly how they want to, because it’s what’s allowed. They know it and you know it!

Trying to love someone into loving you just doesn’t work, especially when you don’t even love yourself. There are many people who don’t know what love is or what love isn’t. They go off of their feelings and emotions only to find themselves in bad situations in which they willfully got into. Sometimes you have to stop looking at the other person and examine yourself.

Many women accept ridiculous crap from their men. They have restrictions, boundaries, and guidelines put on them by their significant others, yet their significant others do what they want. You’re being played! I know it doesn’t sit well with someone, but it’s okay. I hope it rattles you enough to take an assessment of yourself and your situation.

I want people to stop denying the truth and face reality. A lot of people ask for the truth, but when they get it they feel some type of way about it. No matter the truth, some people will turn a deaf ear and blind eyes to it. It all goes back to who you really are as an individual. What’s inside of you speaks volumes in your actions.

I understand sometimes people are in very abusive relationships and they pretend this or that in fear of their lives. I completely understand this logic. However; no matter the situation if this happens, you’re still going along with it. You’ve given power to the other person to do whatever they want to do to you, because they know you’ll go along with it! Devastating as it may be you’re still “playing the fool and getting played.” Why? Because your significant other gets to treat you any kind of way, because it is what you’ve allowed. If you’re afraid to leave you’ve stayed way too long!! Seek help with your situation before it’s too late!

Moral of it this blog is your life belongs to you! Your power, self esteem, peace of mind, courage, strength, etc, etc, belongs to you and ONLY you! However, your significant other or anyone else whom you allow will take it from you causing yours to diminish. Never give anyone or anything power to take what belongs to you! Never play the fool, if you play the fool then you subject yourself to being played. Why? Because technically who you allow to play you see you as a fool! If you have to be lied to, deceived, manipulated, cheated on, abused, etc, etc it is NOT love, because love has NOTHING to do with it! Don’t play the fool, because it makes you one who will undoubtedly get played!

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Memories and Thoughts and the Power you Give Them

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There are millions of hurt people in this world who unfortunately hurt other people. Many people live their lives based on what others have said or done to them. They find it difficult to move forward because they are pulled backwards by their minds; which by the way have imprisoned them. No one can save you, no one can fix you, and no one can change you. The only one who can do it is you! You may have people around to influence, motivate, encourage, or inspire you to want to change, but if the willingness to change doesn’t come from you, the change will only be temporary. People who change to please others will always revert back to who they really are.

There are many people who feel they must be validated by others and because of it they are at the mercy of others. They allow other people to dictate how they feel about self. Those you give your power to know they have it and they will abuse it. People prey on who they think are weak, because the prowler him or herself are weak! They see and feel it in their prey!

Most people are accustomed to how they’ve been all their lives. It feels familiar and comfortable. Instead of trying to change they continue to live how they’ve always lived. No matter how miserable and hurt they feel they continue living their lives the same way. Many people blame others for who they are. I admit other people contribute to our lives in many ways both positive and negative. However, when you point at someone to blame them, you have three fingers pointing back at self. I think it’s a way for us to take ownership of who or what we’ve become.

Despite what a person goes through, despite how traumatic; who a person becomes as adults falls on the individual. People can choose to remain the same or they can choose better than what they came from. When people choose to remain the same they’ve seem to opt out of changing. Sometimes the people who have wronged them are dead and gone; yet people are still holding on to their experiences with the person/people through their memories. Memories are real, how strong they reign inside of a person is up to the individual.

Believe it or not none of our pasts exist today. None of them! We are all living in the present. If people do not deal with the issues of their pasts they are affected for a life time. It affects every facet of a person’s life. Not once have I said the past didn’t exist, of course it existed, but it’s not what we live in today. It is behind us and only the memories of it remains. Unfortunately for many people those memories are very real and strong. People are trapped by their own minds, because they’ve given power to the memories of their pasts. They carry these residual affects throughout their lives. It shapes them into what they’ve become. It’s a cycle most past down through generations until someone breaks the chain.

Many people walk around smiling, yet they are broken and hurting inside. Pretending will never give a person the understanding or will to deal with what’s causing them pain and suffering. People must learn to face it in order to move on. Those who do can go on to lead productive lives. However, those who don’t will live their lives as a revolving door. They will go in and out the same type relationships with the same types of people and wonder why. They will make the same bad decisions and choices and wonder why. They will allow people to take advantage or misuse them and wonder why it’s happening. They will continue to be unhappy which oftentimes lead to other things such as depression and even worse things like suicidal or homicidal thoughts, etc. Not all people will go through those thoughts, feelings, or emotions, but some will, because they don’t understand most times our biggest enemy is self. The power of the mind is beyond belief, but our thoughts and memories are only as powerful as we make them.

Things will happen to us, but how we deal with those things depends on how we receive them, perceive them, and the power we give to those things. We are our own greatest enemy, because we give so much power to negative memories of our pasts which has led to negative ways of thinking, period! The past doesn’t cause people any further pain, people do it to themselves by not dealing with the issues of their pasts. Instead they focus on the memories as if they are present today. It’s like a wound, if you constantly dig in a wound it won’t heal properly and because of the constant manipulation of it, the person could cause other issues. This is how many live their lives. They keep going back to the memories of their pasts. They are trapped by their own minds.

Today is a brand new day given to each of us. We can choose to become better or we can choose to stay the same. None of us will forget what we’ve gone through, but none of us have to be prisoners to our own minds, causing the inability to move forward. We don’t have to give our power to anything or anyone!

Live your life for you first! If you’re not healthy and whole you’re really not any good for anyone else. Sadly many go through life with all of their issues while trying to love others when they first don’t love self. This is proven every single day by people who constantly are in and out of unhealthy relationships or people having children and messing them up from the gate. Those are only two examples out of many.

Learning to become better has to be something a person wants. It starts with the individual. You’re not what or who someone else says you are unless you believe it yourself. No one should ever accept negativity from anyone else. You have the power to be whatever you choose to be. Never settle and think you should be a certain way because of what someone else said or did. They don’t get to choose, you do!

Suicide is Permanent Troubles are Temporary

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I know I’ve blogged more than usual this week, but I wanted to send this one out. It’s my opinion and based on many years of experience working with people from all walks of life. No matter the race, gender, age, or population everyone has their issues.

It really saddens me to hear when people take their own lives. We all have a story we could tell. We are all affected by other people and life in some form or another. However, no matter what or who, this life we have is ours and ours alone to live. No one gets to live it for us. Individually we can give our power away to others, but at the end of it all we live and die for self.

Struggles come and struggles go, they are temporary. Unfortunately many choose the permanent fix to their temporary problems; which is suicide. No trouble last always. It may feel as if it does, but it doesn’t. People are so filled with darkness they literally can’t see. They don’t believe their “light at the end of their tunnel” exists. There is light, there is always light if people will hold on.

A lot of readers may say if I haven’t experienced it, therefore I don’t know. Wrong, I’ve gone through storms over and over in my life. The difference for me is I’ve always even as a young child figured out bad things happen. No matter how young or old, no matter how good you are; bad things happen. I’ve learned to accept it. We will all go through storms at some point. Our lives are like hills and valleys. We go in and out of things. We must learn to hold on, because those troubles won’t last always. Life is a cycle and we have to endure the bad and the good. No one complains when it’s feeling good, but people complain when they are enduring those hard times. Unfortunately for some they never experience the good, because what’s inside doesn’t allow them to feel happy about anything.

Individually we must look at ourselves. Yes, there are many people and things affecting us along the way, but we STILL must always look at self. We can’t change other people; only ourselves. Oftentimes people already have issues they are dealing with from childhood. Childhood is normally where it all begins. If a person doesn’t deal with those issues I don’t care how old they become they will carry those issues with them throughout life. Then on top of it they have families, significant others, careers, etc coupled with what they’ve never dealt with (their issues). It all compiles and weighs the individual down. Individually we must learn to lessen the load. It begins for each and every one of us by dealing with self first and foremost. If not you will be a struggling individual, struggling even more due to the pressures of life. People have the tendency of compiling their issues and instead of fixing them it leads to anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, for some homicidal thoughts, physical ailments and other issues.

I don’t care who loves you, they can’t fix or save you! You’re the only person who can do it for yourself. It starts and ends with you. Some people think because they are successful with lots of money life will be easier. This isn’t true at all! You’re still you and no matter where you are your problems will follow because they are inside. No amounts of money, love from others, friends, family, material things will fix what’s wrong inside. People have to deal with self.

Love yourself no matter what! Forgive yourself and anyone else who needs to be forgiven by you. Forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s actually for you. It’s for your peace of mind. It gives you the ability to let go and move on. We don’t forget stuff, but we certainly can get to a point where stuff doesn’t bother us like it once had.

Instead of dealing with things a lot of people want to give up on self and life all together. This is the wrong ways of thinking. If a person begin to dwell on taking their own life if they don’t change their ways of thinking the bad thoughts could eventually consume them. The thoughts become fleeting (coming and going). Do you know why? It’s because once a person allows bad thoughts to enter in and do nothing about them, those thoughts will stay there and they will become stronger, because the person is giving power to them. This is very dangerous and it’s when people do unthinkable and unimaginable things such as commit suicide, homicide, or a host of other things people do when they’ve succumbed to the darkness. People must acknowledge and take ownership of when they are going through these moments and not simply go through them allowing them to consume them.

Not one of us are exempt from the troubles of this world. As I said earlier in this post we have to take the good with the bad. I’ve written and said many times trouble free people do not exist. I believe the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the gift of love. It doesn’t matter what you went through or who did something to us, we all must learn to love self. When a person truly loves his or herself it changes their mindset, therefore their outlook on life.

Too many individuals give their power to people and things. Living this way means you’re at the will of those people and things. If you give your power away it means you don’t have it. Before living a life of stress due to life and others, take back your power! There will be things for which we can’t control. However, we can always control how we react to those things.

People will look you right in your face and smile. They will carry on as if they are happy, yet inside they are filled with pain and misery. No one can deal with their issues by trying to hide and pretend the pain doesn’t exist. People who commit suicide give up on self and life, but they don’t realize what they leave behind for their families and friends. Talk to someone, talk to anyone about what you are thinking. The thoughts will intensify if you don’t and often to the point of a successful suicide. The thoughts come from a very dark place, a place where it’s difficult to see your way. Life never has to be this way for anyone.

I know things are awful for some people, but again it all starts with you. Never live to please other people or to be validated by other people. Don’t allow your dreams or goals to put you in the wrong mindset. Remember, you can’t please everyone, so don’t waste your time trying. Remember you are unique and no one is like you, others won’t think like you, don’t get frustrated because of it. Love you and be happy for you, it makes everything else better! Individually we must look inside and deal with what ails us! Life is worth living! Change whatever needs changing. Sometimes it means new, places, people, and things. However, no matter where you are in life, nothing changes if you don’t fix what’s wrong. If a person doesn’t change all they will do is take the toxicity from one place to another. No matter what life throws us, it’s all about what we make of it! If you’re in pain, own it and deal with it because it will not go away until you make a change in yourself! No one can do it for you. Life is precious and it’s worth living. Change your attitude it changes everything else!

1-800-273-8255 is the National Suicide Hotline number they are available to assist. There are also hospitals, churches, thousands upon thousands of different sources available, where help is available. No one can help if a person doesn’t open up about what they are thinking. Never give power to your negative and unhealthy thoughts, they may pull you into a dark place you find it difficult to get out of; please, please, please seek help!

I don’t know you, but I care about you and your life!!

There is a Price for Going Along With Wrong

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This message is for anyone who is going along with wrong. One thing about me is you can’t convince me to do wrong or to go along with wrong. You can count me out!! If a person don’t have ethics, morals, values, or integrity they are liable to do anything. It is very sad to see people go along with wrong because of being afraid for ANY reason. This post is about people who go along with wrong because they benefit in some way from it.

When you go along with wrong it doesn’t matter why you do it, you are a part of the problem; and you will someday have to pay the price for going along with wrong. Everyone has a right to speak up and stand up against wrong!

There are a lot of people who go along with wrong because they fear losing their jobs or they are afraid for other reasons. Bottom line you’re still wrong. Others go along with wrong because they think they have some benefit in doing it. Bottom line they are still wrong. You don’t get a free pass, because you are afraid. Wrong is wrong!

If you don’t stand for right, you are wrong! If you go along with wrong you are wrong! It will come back on you one way or the other. You may think because you have gotten over you’ve gotten by, WRONG! Karma returns and slaps us all upside the head.

A person who know they can get you to go along with wrong, know they have power and control over you. Never give anyone your power in any facet! Millions get used and abused because they relinquish their power to others. Remember I always say and write “we teach others how to treat us.” This is the truth! People treat you exactly how you allow. A person may try you, but they only get once chance UNLESS you give them the opportunity to continue doing what they do.

I know without a doubt there are some places I couldn’t and wouldn’t even want to work, because I will not go along with wrong. I won’t lie for you, but I won’t lie on you either! I don’t care who you are or what your position is, I will not lie for you! People who go along with wrong will someday pay the price for what they’ve said or done!

We should be dedicated and committed to what we do, but never at the price of doing wrong or going along with wrong. People who do definitely have issues of their own they need to deal with. They need to address why they are willing to sell out by doing wrong for anyone.

This was on my mind and I wanted to put it out there! God bless and I’m talking about God with the big G, the one and only God the Father who gave this world His ONLY begotten Son; Jesus!

Sexual Misconduct

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There is so much attention on this topic lately, I wanted to chime in. This post is referencing adults who goes along with it. Shame on them! As a female I’ve had my share of episodes dealing with sexual misconduct, sexual innuendo’s, or whatever you want to call it. Personally for me, I don’t take it lightly and I will handle someone quickly, firmly, and with no remorse.

I salute anyone (male or female) who speaks up about this, however, I feel people need to nip it in the bud right away. Never, ever be afraid to put someone in their place; I don’t care who it is or their position or status (from who is considered the highest on the totem pole to the lowest). Nip it in the bud right away!

Some people may not agree with what I am about to write, but it won’t be the first time. It still doesn’t stop me from writing what I know to be true. My problem with some people is this! Many people have gone along with this mess for years, long enough to get what they want out of it, then they cry wolf later. Many have gotten jobs, promotions on the jobs, material possessions, and many other things, then once they’ve used the user, they want to cry wolf. This isn’t fair and this is my problem with of lot of it. Many people have put themselves in bad situations from the start. They agreed to rendezvous with certain people as if they don’t know what they’re expecting or at least hoping for. If a person ask you over to their hotel or home, that’s your first red flag; do not entertain them and nip it in the bud! If a person is saying something out of line, don’t make them think it’s okay. Put them in check on the spot, period! If a person touches you or does something inappropriate don’t make them think it was okay. Check them on the spot, period! I know what I’m writing is true. I’ve seen it happen countless times over the years in the civilian sector, the military, and the federal government! So there, that is my issue with people who go along then cry about it later.

An individual will do to you exactly what you allow them to do. We all know the difference between a compliment and someone who is completely out of line! Many people go along with things because of who they are. The individual’s who show sexual misconduct in anyway have their issues, but people who go along with it are dealing with their own as well.

I do realize there are people who are afraid to speak up. However, this too is a major sign something is going on within this type of person. Look inward and figure out why you would allow someone to do something out of line or inappropriate to you. Don’t spare anyone’s feelings, because they didn’t spare yours. You can’t allow a person to disrespect you and then turn around and feel obligated to protect them or spare their feelings. No; you put them in their place wherever they get out of line! I know many people are not like me (direct, etc). Still in my opinion it’s because something is going on inside which have given individual’s the mindset that others can do whatever they want to do to them. I’m just not that person and I’ve never been that type of person.

I’ve forever written and talked about how people with inappropriate behaviors are embedded in every single profession there is in this world. Many specifically chose certain professions to become a part of so they can get to certain targets or act a certain way (the way they really are). They get into positions of power and authority in thinking it will give them the ability to use this power and authority to get who and what they want. What they fail to understand is it isn’t about the power and authority they have, what they are being led by is their tainted hearts and distorted and wrong ways of thinking and doing. You can put a person in the highest possible position and if he or she is a fool, they will simply be a fool in that position. If they do inappropriate things he or she will still do so. It doesn’t matter how much or how little a person has, what’s in their hearts will come out!

People will find a way to do what is in their hearts to do no matter how inappropriate. Instead of people dealing with what they know is wrong with them, they go through life trying to mask the truth until the truth overtakes them and they are then exposed for the world to see. All of this behavior comes from somewhere way back. Their behaviors come from things they’ve suppressed and haven’t dealt with. Nine out of ten times at some point in these types of individuals lives; they were victims who now victimize. They try hiding their behaviors, but it DOESN’T work. Soon they can’t control their demons! It’s a surprise to the world, but the individual know what they’ve been doing all along in the “dark.”

Bottom line of this post is, stand up to anyone who acts inappropriate with you. Don’t wait, don’t worry about who they are, just nip it in the bud right away! If you don’t it’s like pushing a green light for them to continue. Remember, people do to you ONLY what you allow and what you let them get away with! We all know when a person stands up they are considered the bad guy. Hey, whatever! People are going to label you anyways. If ANYONE has a problem with a person standing up for his or self then know without a doubt they too have issues and it’s NOT your problem. Do what you have to do to protect yourself and never give someone a second in thinking they can do to you whatever they want!

Leader or not What’s in the Heart Comes out

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A real leader is servant first and they know how to lead by example. Regardless of what position a person holds it DOESN’T mean they are qualified to hold it. It doesn’t mean they have the skills or ability to lead. I see it every single day. I also saw it a lot as a soldier. I’ve written and said a million times you can put ANYONE in ANY position; status NOR money WILL change the type of heart a person has. The type of heart a person has will ALWAYS eventually show who you’re really dealing with! People can hide who they are from others until who they really are surfaces to the top. Whether good or bad; what’s inside is coming out one way or another!

A person who isn’t capable of leading properly can cause chaos for those around them; which ultimately leads to division. “A divided house can not stand.” When some people get into certain positions they think they are above the law and even God. Many people heads are in clouds, because they think they are untouchable. It’s straight vanity. God doesn’t appreciate vainness. One thing for sure (what goes up MUST come down) just as what’s in the heart WILL eventually come out!

Too many people are in positions with messed up and cold hearts. Many of these individuals are in positions of authority and power. They love controlling and having authority over others, because it gratifies them. They are individuals with a multitude of issues. They spew seeds of division amongst people. Why? It’s because of their hearts. These types of people have issues which has caused them to be the way they are and many of them think the way they are is okay. Wrong!

Sadly society is fixated on the positions people hold and NOT whether or not people are capable of holding the positions they are in. If you’re a broken person how on earth can you lead others? It’s like the blind leading the blind. The outcome is division and oftentimes destruction in the lives of others. Bottom line is as the Bible says “how can the blind lead the blind less they both fall in the ditch.”

In this world messed up individuals are embedded throughout the world in different positions; some are positions of power while others are not. They love control and authority and are oftentimes demanding of respect; yet gives none. The outcome is always the same (division, chaos, and drama). The heart will NOT change unless people choose to change their ways of thinking. These people were directly taught distorted and wrongs of thinking or either they developed distorted and wrongs of thinking due to past issues. They move along in and out of positions with the same messed up mentalities. They prey on others, especially those they see as weak and vulnerable.

There are a lot of people with hidden agendas. They get into positions to play out their hidden agendas. Certain positions allows them access to do just that! What’s in the heart will always come out of you! It only lays dormant until it rises to the surface. People can’t contain their demons. What’s in is coming out!

Consequences

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There are consequences for your actions. If people would take time to think over the possible consequences of their actions, many would probably choose differently. Instead people move based on what’s in their hearts. Our hearts hold all of who we are whether good or bad.

Cheaters – Understand if you are a cheater there are consequences to your cheating. You risk many things such as losing your significant other, separation within your relationships, diseases, or even death. When a person willfully cheats they risk the consequences of what may happen as a result of their actions.  Is it worth the risk? Think about that before you cross the line! To cheat isn’t a mistake it’s a bad decision. It’s bad choices based on what’s in a person’s heart. People are led by their thoughts and ultimately their hearts. If a person feel they want something badly enough the thought of it becomes frequent and provoking until the person acts on getting what they want. People who do this don’t really think of the consequences or they simply don’t care.

Security – Just what does it mean to you? If you’re a person who is basing your security on someone else you are WRONG! This is a huge bad decision! I believe if a person freely and willfully give their  power to someone else their power will be taken. Don’t base your livelihood, happiness, or security on someone else, because when you do you’re setting yourself up for anything. If you choose to you WILL some day suffer consequences for your actions! There’s nothing wrong with being taken care of by your significant other, however be able to take care of yourself if all else fails.

Relationships- If you get into them for the wrong reasons or stay in them for the wrong reasons you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions. People show you just who they are if you receive it. You teach your significant others EXACTLY how to treat you! If you take their foolishness (abuse, cheating, lying, or whatever it is), they will dish it out. I believe despite of what is said, a person willfully choose the type of relationship they become a part of, UNLESS they are in a country where it’s chosen for them. If a relationship is unhealthy and you stay, that is a personal choice, but it always comes with consequences, heartache, and pain.

What’s in the heart – It will surely come out! You know better than any other human who you are and what you are. Meaning you know exactly what lies within despite the fact you try to hide it. What you do in the dark will come to the light if you keep doing it and sometimes even if you stopped doing it. You try to hide all of your mess from man, you pretend to be one way when you KNOW you’re something else all together. Sooner or later your truth is revealed and there will be consequences for your actions!

Love – Most don’t even know what it is, but they are desperately seeking it (all the wrong ways, wrong people, wrong places, and you name it). These types of people accept anything in the name of what they think is love. These people go above and beyond in the name of what they think is love, even when they’re crapped on. They are abused, controlled, cheated on, lied too, manipulated, used for sex, used for what they have, they do things they wouldn’t normally do and don’t want to do, and many other things. People will walk and stomp all over you for as long as you lay down like a rug. They know your type and they will treat you how you allow. Love is kind, patience, giving, understanding, faithful, loyal, commitment, etc.

Love can be simulated, replicated,  and imitated, but real love can’t be duplicated when it’s genuine. If it’s not genuine it shows in how you’re treated, if you’re blind by your emotions you will miss the truth! A duplication is a copy, therefore it’s NOT the real deal. In relationships those who are pretending to get what they want will soon show who they really are and what they are about. Stop becoming lost and fixated on how you feel and start looking at how you’re treated in it lies the truth. A person who’s in a relationship for any reason other than being in love with who they are with will sooner or later show the truth concerning how they REALLY feel about who they are with. “People Lie, but the Signs Don’t” trust and believe the signs are always there. If you miss them you will eventually suffer the consequences of your actions. Guaranteed!