Power Given is Always Taken

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I was recently talking to a group of people and it never ceases to amaze me the things people are going through. Most of what people go through they’ve actually caused by allowing it in their lives. You, me, nor anyone else when in a relationship has to take anything you don’t want to take from another person. Without a doubt people will always get what they allow.

There are many people who will take anything from someone in the name of their versions of love. The people I was talking to are actually allowing their significant others to control them. They have gotten into their relationships and lost self, because self was never priority. They think it’s love to relinquish their control and power to the individual’s they are with. This way of thinking is definitely caused by some type of brokenness.

As I’ve always stated, people who don’t heal from their issues which has caused their brokenness will continue to affected by what lies within. What’s inside is always stronger, therefore it interferes with what’s happening outside. It affects all facets of an individual’s life.

Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want you is a horrible one to be in. Being in a relationship and in love by yourself is no love at all. Being in a relationship with someone who’s cheating on you, abusive to you, disrespecting you, controlling you, manipulating you, isn’t communicating with you, their only taking from you, etc. etc, is a terrible relationship to be in and it’s NOT love! Love has nothing to do with it!

People seek love in others when they don’t love self, which causes further discord in their lives. They give up their freewill and therefore are subjected to ill behaviors at the hands of those who claim to love them. Significant others mistreat who they’re with because they know it’s allowed.

No one has power and control over you in a relationship unless it’s the foundation you’ve laid. If you don’t think you’re deserving of real love you will never have it, because you won’t know it when it comes. True love starts with loving self. People who mistreat their significant others are people who have their own issues. What’s in you is always coming out!

Allowing your significant other to control you says a lot about your confidence and esteem. Many people who are going through it don’t believe it, it’s still true. It’s a great indication you should re-examine yourself because something is most definitely wrong. Not only with you, but also with the one you think you love.

You must learn to love yourself first. Loving yourself teaches you about yourself and it teaches you about others as well. You become careful of who you allow in your life. You’ll know your power belongs to you and no one else. You will know you never have to lose yourself to be with someone. You will learn that to love someone doesn’t mean losing self. You will know love isn’t controlling, obsessive, abusive, or possessive. You won’t settle and you learn spending time with yourself is awesome!

To anyone who’s dealing with this type of relationship; it will always be the same unless you decide changing is the only option. Find yourself through self love. Deal with your issues so you can heal from them. This will change your mindset and your life!

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False Teachings and Part-time Relationships

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I heard a very famous radio host talking last weekend and it sickened me the false information he was giving. One thing I have learnt is if you’re well known you can say “boo” and people will latch on, like it, love it, etc; all because the person is famous or well known. I think it’s the dumbest and most shallow thing people do. We see it all of the time. A well known person gets to speak at graduations, in the schools, on TV etc. They get all of these different platforms simply because they are well known. This doesn’t mean they know what they are talking about. I’ve seen and heard it a million times.

Okay, back to the reason for this post. This radio host was telling the listening audience they need a relationship with God. He said it doesn’t matter what they are doing in their lives they need a relationship with God. He went on to say how he’s off the mark, etc, but he still has a relationship with God.

I don’t care who you are or who you think you are. You can’t do whatever you want and think God is okay with it. If you think because you reference God in your speaking or you say God every now and then it’s cool and you’re on His side you are dead wrong! Throwing God the Father and His Son Jesus in your conversations every now and then doesn’t mean you’re living for Him or that you have a relationship with Him.

If your relationship with Jesus isn’t personal and 24/7 then you don’t really have one. A relationship with Him should always be personal and constant. It means changed ways! If a person truly loves Him then the person will live for Him. You’re either in or out. I don’t care what you THINK; there are only 2 options (for Him or against Him). As Saints of God we MUST turn from our old ways. We can’t be a lukewarm, double minded person, thinking it’s all good with the Lord. We can’t serve Him when we want to be see by others yet lifestyles are against Him. As Saints it isn’t part time, it’s a full time position. Those who try to do it part time are only fooling self. Part time means you’re lukewarm. I won’t apologize for the truth!

People can follow up behind folks who are leading them wrong and find themselves in hell right along with those folks. You must have a relationship with Jesus, because you can’t get to the Father unless you go through His Son Jesus. Jesus made it possible for the Holy Spirit to be with us leading and guiding our steps. This can’t happen when people are choosing their own paths and aren’t willing to give up their old ways. Individuals who serve Him part time are at risk of losing their souls. They are at risk of hell!

Knowing about Jesus and knowing Jesus are two different things. Many people know of him due to being taught by parents, friends, loved ones, and others, but to have a personal relationship is different. It means you know Him! A person MUST love Him and if you love Him you will live for Him, this nurtures the relationship daily. It helps a person to move from milk to meat!

A person can have a relationship with anyone, it doesn’t mean it’s personal and it doesn’t mean you love the individual. This is the relationship many have with Jesus; which isn’t truly a relationship. To have a true relationship with God the Father and His Son Jesus it must be because of the love you have for them. It must be personal, constant, and intentional. To live for Him means you have become a new creature. Those who do it part time find they fall for anything and they are easily enticed, persuaded, brainwashed, etc to do as the world do. They conform easily to the ways of the world. They have their eyes on man and not on Jesus! They go along to get along and they shut up instead of standing up. This way of living puts people at risk for hell!

People live all of their lives in and out of relationships, yet they don’t try to truly develop that relationship with Jesus, because they don’t want to give up their old ways. They are people pleasers and are not trying to please the Father which art in Heaven!

What you do is up to you! What anyone does is up to the individual, however, as well known individuals or leaders in general please stop giving wrong information to others. If you don’t want to give up the world then that is on you, but don’t try to persuade others to be like you! There is absolutely no comprising when serving the Father and the Son!

You Created Your Drama

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People are getting into relationships with folks who are already in relationship and snapping because it’s not going how they wanted. How can you think anything good is going to come out of your wrong doings? People must learn to see past their feelings; when they can’t what’s inside will always show up outside.

People are murdering folks or harming them in different ways, because they can’t deal with the drama they willfully got into. You can’t get with someone else’s significant other and get upset with the fact they won’t give you what you’re seeking. You can’t get mad because they won’t leave who they are with for you. It’s very foolish for people to subject themselves to such nonsense.

Recently a lady killed a man over this. He was a pastor (at least that is what his title was). She shot and killed him and wounded his wife. Her words to him was “you hurt me.” Go figure! You will always end up in a circle of drama when you subject yourself into situations such as this one. People do to you what you allow.

Until individuals learn to love self they will never be able to see past their feelings and emotions. They will continue to involve themselves in bad and unhealthy situations.

A person should never want what someone else has or who someone else has. If an individual wants to cheat with you, then you should tell them NO! Unfortunately too many people seek happiness in other individuals no matter the consequences. These people some of you involve yourselves with are not happy inside of self and this is why they are cheating in the first place.

If a person tries to form a relationship with you and they are already in a relationship this is the first indication they are NOT someone you should become involved with. If they are cheating on who they are with they will cheat on you. If they don’t respect who they are with, they won’t respect you. You will always be the side piece (male or female).

One thing I’ve learnt in dealing with people is how they make themselves available to a cheater. They put their life on the back burner to try and please the cheater, not understanding the cheater is always going home or wherever to the one they are with. You will always be the side piece. Don’t settle for this type of relationship.

The only thing will change a person is change itself. No one can change if they are not in the mindset to change. You can’t get into the mindset until you deal with the man/woman in the mirror. People must stop looking to other people and start looking inward. You’re your worst problem! You’re your worst enemy. Not the other person or other people, but you yourself. Until people face self drama is exactly what they will allow in their lives. No amount of money, title, status, position, or anything else will change this fact!

You don’t know love until you learn to love yourself first!

I Do Everything

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Yeah???? That is the problem, you do everything! Some people fall in love too quick. They are too eager or desperate for love and they are being led by their feelings. Too many people are in one-sided relationships, they complain yet it’s their own fault they are allowing it. Some people feel if they love a person hard enough they will love them back or do right by them. Not so! They further believe if they make it all about the individual they will love them back, but it simply doesn’t work like that!

There are many people in relationships who give everything they have yet it’s not enough to make someone love them or want to be with them. They get upset because they realize the relationship is one-sided. They don’t understand why the person won’t do right by them. They don’t get why the person don’t love them like they want them too.

Okay, if this is you and your relationship is at this point then you should know it’s really not about the other person, you should be looking at yourself. You can’t expect someone else to change, you must seek change in yourself. If a person truly love you then you don’t have to buy their love, you don’t have to be the one who does everything in the relationship. If they love you they will do their part and your relationship will NOT be one-sided.

Far too many people are in one-sided relationships, but it’s because a one-sided relationship is what they formed with the person and what they accepted. You simply can’t make someone feel as you do or even feel anything at all for you. If you want to be in love by yourself they will let you, because you won’t change them.

Many people waste years being in these types of relationships. They try their hardest to be the best they can for the person they love, yet it gets them nowhere but in a one-sided relationship; sad and lonely. I’ve seen it time and time again.

As I’ve written and stated a million times, learn to love you first. If people learn to love self they will send someone who doesn’t love them right on down the road. A person who loves self will not tolerate this in their relationship. They will understand it takes two people to have a loving and happy relationship. Many people are in love, but unfortunately they are in love by themselves. These are the types of relationships no one should want to be in.

From one bad Relationship Into Another

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This is exactly where many people find themselves and I will tell you why. Until a person heals from their deep seated issues they will continue to live being led by their feelings and emotions. They look for things in other people that they don’t possess in self. What they fail to understand is most times the individual they’re involved with has as many or more issues then they. Normally this isn’t realized until it’s too late. This why we see people being cheated on, abused, disrespected, and even killed in their relationships.

Instead of people healing they get into relationships with all of their personal baggage compiling it with the baggage of who they choose. Most times people are relationship hopping because they are unhappy with self. As soon as they’re out of one relationship they are right into another. These types of people haven’t learned how to love self, instead they seek it in someone else. A person will be to you exactly what tell them you want until they get you where they want you (in your version of love and controlled). They know you’re desperate, because they too are desperate. They will treat you exactly how you’ve allowed. People must learn to take time for self. Learn to be alone for awhile. You grow the most when you’re alone learning about yourself and the experience you went through. This knowledge teaches you what and what not to do in other relationships. It gives you strength. The problem is most people don’t take this time to learn and figure things out before jumping into another relationship. They take all unresolved issues into the next relationship and into the one after that!

The true culprit is individuals inability to deal with the issues they have inside. People act as if all is well when they know it is not. What’s inside causes chaos outside if no healing has occurred. When people don’t heal they accept anything for a little of something. They take much more than they should in their quest for love. Most of these people relinquish their power to the person they are with. They give control to someone who doesn’t even have control over their own life. It always ends in unhealthy and unhappy relationships. Some of which are oftentimes with deadly consequences.

I’ve seen time and time again people get with individuals and try their darndest to change them, save them, or fix them. You can’t fix, save, or change anyone. Most people can’t do it for self, yet they allow their feelings, desires, and wants to make them think they can do it for someone else. People willfully allow themselves to get into bad situation with people they shouldn’t be with.

One of if not the greatest teacher if people will receive it (good or bad) is experience. It teaches us a lot, but unfortunately most people allow it to beat and break them down instead of use it to grow. We can learn from any experience whether good or bad. The old sayings “people learn from their mistakes and when a person know better they do better” isn’t always the truth! Many people don’t learn a thing from their experiences and in fact keep repeating the cycle and although some people know better, many people choose not to do better.

Most times people find it easier blaming their pasts and others, but at the end of the day each of us are responsible for our own lives and how we choose to live it. We can blame others all day it does nothing to facilitate change in our individual lives. If people do not deal from the things keeping them stuck they can’t move forward. They will remain where they are doing the same things and dealing with the same types of people. I find individuals focus more on trying to please others then they do in trying to be happy for self. Relying on someone else for peace, love, happiness, security, etc can be disasterous for your life!

Learn to love yourself and if you do you will become very careful about who you choose to fall in love with! When you love yourself you see past feelings to the truth!

The Jaws of Fear

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It is very sad how people allow fear to land them in bad situations and relationships. People get into relationships they shouldn’t be in then they allow fear to keep them there. None of us can get back the time we given to being bound to and tied up by fear. In a relationship the other person may be a part of the issue, but the real problem is the person who allows fear to keep them where they shouldn’t be or where they don’t want to be. If you’re afraid to leave for ANY reason; I always say you’ve stayed too long. People fool themselves into believing they are/were blindsided. Keep lying to yourself! Individuals at some point always show you who they really are. It never fails! Many miss the signs because they are blind by their feelings and emotions. By the time they can see they are then bound by fear, (to leave, to stay, to start over, to be alone, etc).

I don’t care what it stems from fear is crippling and debilitating to anyone who gives in to it. It affects many facets of a person’s life when they allow fear to control them. There are many people stuck in unhappy and unhealthy relationships, on unhappy jobs, in careers they are unhappy with, afraid to change, afraid to try something different, afraid to be alone, afraid to start over, afraid of what others will say or do, etc, etc. They totally give in to fear. It controls them, keeping them stagnant and unable to move forward.

Whatever or whoever you give your power to means you have none. It means the person or thing controls you. Fear keeps people dependent instead independent. When you fear your fear is evident in your actions. This empowers others to maintain control over you! It gives power to the fear in you to keep you where you are. People develop anxiety etc due to fear! This can lead to other issues mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The ONLY person can change your situation is you. When you give your power to anything no matter what it is (person or thing), it becomes stronger than you! Stop giving what belongs to you away due to fear. Your power belongs to you! You were meant to be strong and the very best version of yourself! No one other than Jesus the Son and God the Father completes you, but you! If you choose not to believe then at least believe in yourself! You are the only person who can complete you!

Many people look for love and validation in others when they don’t have it in self! It oftentimes keep people where they are. People allow their issues and the fear of change to hold them down and back! Today is a new day. Tell fear no more! Talk it right on out of your life. Let it take all of the junk it has set up in your life keeping you stuck right along with it! Those who believe in Jesus allows the devil free reign when they give into fear, because God’s love conquers ALL fear! If you’re a believer then you must believe it! Otherwise you allow the devil victory in your life. He doesn’t have no more power than you give! That goes for the devil in ANY form he may appear!

Take back your power, take back your life!

Surrounded by Enablers

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I see many people around the world doing this (on and off of TV). People already have their issues they’ve not worked out on top of this they are surrounded by people who don’t tell them the truth. People who can’t tell you the truth are people who have their own issues. They obviously do if they are worried about telling a person the truth! Lying to someone does nothing for a person other then keep them in trapped in their wrong mindsets and brokenness.

A broken person doesn’t benefit at all from people around them enabling them. Too many people from the highest status on down are in these types of situations. The reason individual’s are in situations such as this is because they are broken and don’t believe in self, they don’t love self, and they lack confidence and self esteem. They are dependent on others for validation. They can’t see the truth from their own version of reality which is through the eyes of unhealed pains. In most situations they are carrying other people; which adds to their pressures. Instead of those around them who claim to love them tell them the truth they tell them what they know they want to hear. They pretend all is well same as the individual; when it isn’t! This is very debilitating for the individual.

The Bible says “the blind can’t lead the blind lest they both fall into a pit.” This is very true! People who emerge themselves into the lives of others have their own issues. They are seeking something in return whether they speak it or not. There is a hidden agenda. It may not be with intentions to cause harm, but when you don’t tell the truth to someone who needs it, this eventually adds to the disruption in the lives of those individuals.

You see it prevalent in celebrities or those individuals who have some type of status. Many people around them are toxic to them. They pretend to care for or even love them, but they won’t tell them the truth. They would rather lie then to be honest. They know the individual is on the verge of self destruction, yet they will not be honest with the person. They continue to enable the individual normally until some form of breakdown occurs.

You’re NOT helping a person if you can’t be honest with them. I don’t care if you’re family, friend, or someone else. If you’re hanging around trying to gain something or if you just want to be a part of the click then you’re no help to the individual. Matter of fact you’re just as dysfunctional as the individual. This is seen a lot in today’s world. People are falling off of the pedal stools they’ve allowed others to put them on when they themselves were already too unstable to stand there. They knew they were yet they allowed it. No one knows what’s inside of you better than you!

When people allow others to worship and glorify them, it’s impossible to maintain the image they portray when they’re broken. It’s causes too much added stress in their lives. Due to the fact individuals don’t heal from their past issues they find it hard to maintain the image they’ve allowed people to believe of them. They become train wrecks!

One thing for certain is I don’t care what a person’s desires, dreams, goals, etc are in life. If the individual do NOT heal from their past pains no matter what they try to do; they will run into a brick wall! They can not get over it or around that wall until they heal from their past issues. They will carry all of the junk into every situation and relationship in their lives. The junk will always wreak havoc in their lives until they deal with it and heal from it.

People can go to who they consider as the best people for help, trust me they can’t help you until you want to help yourself. Those same celebrity guru’s and other people individuals run to for help oftentimes need help themselves and it’s why people come away the same way they went (broken). Listen, rehab, therapists, etc, etc doesn’t change a person until YOU choose change as your ONLY option! Although a significant part of a person’s issues can be drugs, alcohol, sex, etc it’s not the MAIN problem. People gravitate towards those things because they haven’t yet healed from their underlying issues. Fame, fortune, money, titles, statuses, etc doesn’t change a person. They become people with fame, fortune, money, title, statuses, etc with the same brokenness and full of lifelong baggage UNTIL the individual decides they want to choose change!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with therapy, rehab, etc, but those things only provide tools to assist a person. They can also provide support etc. However, IF the underlying issues aren’t resolved individuals will go back to what they are familiar and what they find their version of comfort (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc). That’s the truth and nothing but the truth! I’ve seen many people being misled both on and off of TV by people who are there supposedly to help. What I am seeing is people being beaten across the head with rehab and therapy, when YES drugs, alcohol, or whatever addiction is part of the problem, but it isn’t the MAIN problem. The focus should be the root cause and until it’s address people will go back to what they know and what they thinks soothes them. It’s like putting a band aid on a wound requiring stitches. It won’t work!

Being in the lives of these people doesn’t benefit them at all if you’re not telling them the truth along the way. Stop contributing to their dysfunction! They need supporters who are true supporters and NOT those who are there to support their own agendas. As stated before people may not understand the added problems they cause to these individual’s by going along to get along. You must call a spade a spade! Although many people don’t like the truth, the truth is still EXACTLY what they need! Be honest with people because the “truth REALLY may set them free!” When you enable others it also enables you!