Truth of Who You Are is Always Shown


People live most of their lives trying to pretend, fake, disguise, please, appease, and live for others. It doesn’t matter how much you give, how much you love, or anything else; how you allow people to treat you is on you! People have the tendency to blame others for how they are treated. Truth is what you accept and allow from others teaches them how to treat you. You signed off with your stamp of approval by your acceptance and allowance of negative and bad attitudes and behaviors.

The reason I wrote what I did above is because it’s an opener to what this post is about. Most people parade around acting as if all is well when it isn’t and as I’ve always stated the truth is forever shown in what people let others do to them and what people do to themselves. Choosing to stay the same means you’re choosing to remain stuck mentally. You can maneuver and progress through life, but it doesn’t mean you’ve matured mentally gaining a more stable and healthy state of mind.

Most people seek many things not knowing what they need. They accept anything and everything in order to receive love, friendship, security, success, acceptance, validation, etc. The main thing most people seek is love. It’s sought after in the wrong ways and with the wrong people. People who do this are individuals who obviously have unresolved issues. If they didn’t the last thing a person would do to self is seek love from undeserving and wrong individuals. Yet, many people do! They get into unhealthy relationships and many go through hell and high water to stay in them without caring how bad they are until it’s unbearable.

People are not only this way in their relationships, they are this way in all aspects of their lives, because dysfunction begat dysfunction. I don’t care how together people appear to be most are far from it. People can’t become better, because they are used to their dysfunction even though it’s causing drama in their lives. They are led by what they want, desire, feel, and see. This is the thought processes of immature people.

Plain truth is until people mature mentally they will not grow in the way they are meant to grow. Although people are getting older, they aren’t maturing, because they can’t. You can’t mature until you’ve dealt with things causing you stagnation. People are stuck in their wrong ways of thinking. No one can progress forward by being this way. Many people become successful and things of that nature, but it doesn’t mean they are mature. Many people are still riddled with dysfunction causing them to make bad choices and decisions in their lives. Unresolved issues follow you, because you’re the only person you can’t get away from. It doesn’t matter where you go, what you do, who you become, or who you are with. Dysfunction will always come to the surface, because it lies beneath the surface unresolved.

We look at the things some people do and we are surprised or shocked. All individuals know what their tendencies are. You may not know, but each individual does. Every day people live their lives pretending, faking, and disguising the truth. Yet, no matter what they do, the truth somehow always presents itself through the choices and decisions people make.

What you are truly about shows in the choices and decisions you make. I don’t care what people say or how they look, the truth is always shown. Most people don’t understand this reality.

Think about it. If you truly loved you then it means you have learned to by getting pass past and present issues that may have caused you negative ways of thinking about yourself and other people, which often led to dysfunction. Unfortunately many people haven’t yet reached this level in life, because they make everything and everyone more important than self. They want what they want no matter what or who. They are comfortable and complacent! These people are from all walks of life. When a person has reached this level the things they accept and allow are different from what they once accepted and allowed in their lives. Choices and decisions become different, because they come from more mature and wise individuals who no longer see the way they’ve once seen. As I’ve always stated; change the way you think, it changes your life!

When You Can’t See Your Own Issues


There are people who can see the fault in everyone other than self. When you can’t see you have issues you need to deal with it blinds you to the truth. Thinking or pretending you have it together when you don’t keeps people stuck in negative mindsets. Sometimes people are truly blind to the fact they have issues and no matter what you say to them they won’t believe you. They always feel you’re jealous, envious, a hater, etc. They always blame others.

This too is a reason many people are their own worst enemy and in their own way. They refuse to deal with self. They go through life with all of their problems in which many people project their inabilities to cope onto their significant others, family, friends, and other people. The truth of who they are always shows in their bad choices and decisions.

One reason many people get into unhealthy relationships is because they are unhealthy individual’s who most times will get into relationships with unhealthy people. When they do it all becomes a mess. There are many people who try their best to find what’s lacking in self in their significant others such as love, happiness, security, confidence, etc. Oftentimes they end up powerless and lost. They give their power away to significant others, because they think it’s the way they are supposed to love. Sadly before they realize or accept the fact it isn’t, they are in very unhealthy situations.

The reason many people can’t deal with their children and their significant others is because of self. The truth is always coming to the surface and manifest in unhealthy ways. I’ve always said if you want to know the real truth about yourself sit back and take note of how you act or react. Take note of what you allow or accept. Take note of what you do in the name of love. Take note of who you spend your time around and what you entertain in your lives. I could keep going, but I hope you get it.

The mindset is EVERYTHING! Many people walk around smiling, but in reality they are crying inside. This will never ever help a person to become a better individual with a positive way of thinking, feeling, and acting. It keeps people in negative states of mind.

In order for any of us to mature and grow into strong individuals we have to directly face and deal with what is causing dysfunction in our lives. Dysfunction presents itself in a person’s life long before significant others and children are present. The problem is when dysfunction isn’t dealt with it causes more dysfunction in the lives of all involved. It affects your ability to be a good significant other, family member, friend, parent, and other positions you may hold.

We all have flaws and short comings. The difference is owning up to them and working on those things causing dysfunction. Many people refuse to, therefore they are continually led by their feelings, wants, and desire, which lands them into many treacherous situations and relationships. This will never change until people face the man or woman in the mirror. It all starts with taking ownership and responsibility of who we’ve become. It means making adjustments and changes in order to become the best you can be. Dealing with self is the only way you will ever be able to affectively deal with anyone else. No one can make you better other than yourself! It starts with you! Many people go a lifetime thinking, feeling, and acting the same way despite the many problems it causes. Change the way you think it changes everything!

The Truth Shows by What You Allow and Accept


Believe it or not, the truth about your mental state shows in what you allow and accept in your lives. Most people don’t get the realization or profoundness of this statement! No matter how people try to hide the truth, pretend all is well, or how they fake, the truth shows in what people allow and accept in their lives. Most people do not understand they are their own worst problem, enemy, etc and in their own way!

As individual’s we teach others how to treat us. If you take crap it is what you will be given. Never accept from anyone something you don’t give! If you do it is showing you something about yourself. It is very ridiculous to get into a relationship taking all kinds of crap from someone when you don’t give all kinds of crap. A lot of people do it. They get into relationships and allow themselves to be mistreated, disrespected, beaten, abused in other forms, taken for granted, used, cheated on, and a plethora of other things in the name of what they think is love. Unhealthy love love is not love. It is simply an unhealthy relationship people shouldn’t allow themselves to be in.

The reason people do this is they are seeking things in others they don’t possess in self such as love, validation, security, happiness, and a host of other things. They do this because they have unresolved issues causing negative ways of thinking. No one can heal if they aren’t facing and dealing with their issues. Too many people act as if they don’t have any issues. You can’t heal by acting no issues exist.

On top of individual’s own problems they take on the problems of other people. They do this because they think it’s the proper way to love. They try to figure out their significant other’s when they can’t even figure out self. They spend so much time taking all kinds of unnecessary things and the shenanigans of others. They think in loving someone they should take crap. Not true! Many people lose themselves in trying to love their significant others. If a person is truly mature and have learned to love self they would never allow or accept the crap from others such as mistreatment, disrespect, abuse, etc from their significant others or anyone else.

People are more focused on loving their significant others than learning to love self. Many people are hurt mostly by those who claim to love them. It’s because many of your significant others haven’t dealt with what causes them dysfunction as well. It’s true hurt people hurt people. Whatever you allow is what you will get.

Most people are led by their negative ways of thinking, which directly impacts how they feel and act. It all comes from the negative cores which lies within. People hold in invisible things which affects them in visible ways. Until people deal with self their lives will always be affected. Due to dysfunction many people will continue to make bad choices and decisions.

Please listen to my podcasts at I have 3 podcasts there 1. Relationships Chronicles 2. Dysfunctions of the Core, and 3. Jesus is the way. Please take a listen and share. Thank you in advance!

Social Distancing Isn’t the Problem You Are


Many people are still taking it as a joke. Please stop playing with your lives and the lives of others. If you don’t have the sense to do it for yourself, have the sense to do it for others. The reason many people find it difficult to do is because of the core. People don’t understand the correlation between how you think, feel, and act. I’ve talked and written about it many times. When you have those inner issues it affects everything in your life in many ways. It shows how people lack maturity. Most people think they are mature, but the truth always shows in their actions. It never fails!

The core is what’s inside of each of us. People who haven’t deal with what causes them to be dysfunctional repeat the same cycles in life. It straight immaturity to risk your life and the life of others, simply because you can’t stay home. Most can’t stay home, because they don’t want to deal with self. They need the outlets they’ve had access to for so long.

Too many people are too dependent on others for happiness. They can’t be alone or they can’t stand to be around the people they supposedly love. Either way it all comes from a bad place within. There are people young and old doing all types of foolish stunts for attention. People yearn for attention, recognition, and validation so badly they risk their lives and the lives of others to get it.

People are going around licking on things to either get the Covid-19 or to spread it. Either way is pathetic and is the mindset of immature people who definitely have many unresolved issues. They are followers and will do anything for attention. This is indicative of a person with the wrong mindset/wrong ways of thinking. Thinking wrong leads you to feelings and acting in the wrong ways.

There are many people who desperately seek being around other people in order to avoid self or to avoid their families. Now people are stuck under the same roof and many can’t cope, because they haven’t dealt with their dysfunction previously. Anxiety, abuse, depression, suicide thoughts and attempts along with other things are spiking. Many are forced to face their relationships with their significant others, children, and other people. They are having a hard time, because the outlets they’ve always had are no longer available due to this worldwide pandemic we are all facing.

Parents don’t know how to deal with their own children, because of their own (the parents) dysfunction. Now they realize how much they’ve relied on teachers to deal with their children. This should be an eyeopener for many parents. Many need to re-gain control and be the parents they should have been all along. If parents are not able to cope the dysfunction pools onto their children and many are witnessing this reality. You as the parent/s can change this by dealing with your own issues first hand. Once you do that you can become better at parenting.
Some parents are abusing their children mentally, emotionally, and physically, again, it’s because of their dysfunction. They haven’t learnt to cope with their problems and it has affected them in every aspect of their lives. Many people’s stress levels are spiking because of it.

Couples will either make up or break up, because now they have to face head on the dysfunction they’ve been avoiding. Many will see exactly how much they don’t know one another or even love one another. Honestly this is a time for people to learn and grow, but because of the cores of many they will fail to do it. Way too many people are in relationships they shouldn’t of gotten into. Many are feeling this right now! Many have accepted nonsense and foolishness for so long, now they realize just how dysfunctional things are since no one is running out to their many ways to escape. People are not having to deal with things they should have dealt with long ago! It’s a tough time for many people right now!

People are dealing with so much right now and because most people are taking it all in as negative, they are feelings, and acting negative as well. Some people will only see negativity, because it’s what they are accustomed to. You must change your mindset before you can change your situation and your life. I want to give you a prime example of what I mean. No disrespect to her at all because I love all people, but look at Oprah Winfrey. Monetarily she is richer than rich, yet she’s struggled all of her life with her weight. For Oprah it’s been a lifelong battle. She gets on all of the wonderful platforms due to her money and who she is teaching people about how to change their mindsets/their ways of thinking. The problem I find here is she’s doing it to help others, but can’t figure it out for herself! I find a problem when you can’t lead by example or live by what you preach/teach! Many people are blind to it, because of who she is, but it doesn’t negate the truth. She has been a part of many weight loss programs, etc, yet she’s still battling her own weight. You know why? It’s because the battle is within. She too haven’t figured out how to change her own way of thinking to win the battle over weight loss. If you don’t deal with your issues they will always deal with you. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you have, your title, skin color or nothing else. It’s all about the mindset. Many people around the world has shown us this is true!

The most damaging and invisible part of us manifests in the physical, because it comes to the surface and disrupt lives of millions. What’s inside is coming out, point blank! If people don’t deal with it they take it with them wherever they go in life. It affects how they think, feel, and act. If you don’t change your mindset/how you think you will make bad choices and decisions, period! As I’ve always said it keeps you stuck mentally exactly where you are. This is why people deal with the same situations/problems for so long! Change is up to you!

If any of you need to talk, for the whole month of April I am offering free 30 minute phone services. Please go to get info on how to reach me. You go there and let me know you want to talk, I will schedule a time to do so. This is one way for me to give back!

Discovering Who You Are


No one is exempt when it comes to the need to discover who they are unless they already have.

Dysfunctional people are from all walks of life, it doesn’t discriminate. Dysfunction affects people despite their status or anything they may have. When people don’t learn who self is first it is where a lot of people fail themselves. They do not take the time to figure out who they are. People are so busy seeking love in others when most don’t love self. Most people think they love self, however, what they allow in their lives reveals the truth. The problem is many folks can’t see this reality.

When people put everything into loving someone else or trying to find love, they oftentimes put self on the back burner. A lot of people lose self in trying to love someone else. They try to love the dysfunction out of their significant others, yet aren’t dealing with their own dysfunction. They take all types of unnecessary crap in the name of what they think is love. There are always signs indicating when someone isn’t good for you, many people ignore what they see. They continue to pursue unhealthy relationships. There are a lot of people who will get an attitude with you if you say something to them about their relationships. Some will cut tides with you all together. They won’t be willing to see the truth.

If people would seriously look at their lives take ownership and responsibility for who they’ve become they can implement change. Unfortunately people are too busy pointing the finger at others instead of realizing they have the power to change who they are. They want to blame others, which only keeps them stuck where they are. A person can’t move forward towards change with such a mindset!

My belief is people really need to take time for self and stop exerting all of their energy into seeking love when in fact they are clueless to what love really is. I understand many people believe love ia a lot of things. It’s true it is, however, love is NEVER abusive. Love isn’t chaotic or full of drama. Love isn’t using someone or taking advantage of them, etc. Love isn’t a lot of things people are accepting as love. People have bad relationships mainly because they haven’t dealt with their dysfunctional selves. Although people are different and will have disagreements, too many accept all types of crap in the name of what they think is love; when it’s not love at all. People simply won’t take the time to get to know self before trying to figure out who they are with. Many don’t know how to communicate effectively nor do they understand how to work through or address important things before getting serious in their relationships and/or moving into marriages. They only see the truth once they’ve let things go too far and find themselves in bad/unhealthy relationships!

The only way a person will change is if they put forth the effort to change. It’s something a person has to want for self. Many people don’t want to be alone. It’s due to how they think and feel. They don’t want to be alone, because they aren’t happy within. If people would stop believing being alone is bad they could better embrace it. I’ve always said spending time alone is one of the greatest things a person can experience. It’s not all about being alone, it’s about discovering who you are during being alone. It’s about working on you, learning, and growing in the process. The reason people get depressed, sad, and many other unhealthy things is because instead of embracing being alone in a positive way, they look at it negative, which causes their already negative ways of thinking to intensify. Many individuals don’t want to be alone, they don’t like who they are. They don’t want to face self. Due to the mindsets of many people it causes them to relationship hop. They are never satisfied or happy. They get into rebound relationships, they get with the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and they never find peace and happiness. It’s because they don’t possess it.

People worry more about trying to figure out their significant others and other people in general then trying to discover who they are as individuals. If you learn who you are you you can better deal with other people. When a person accepts who they’ve allowed his or herself to become and identify what has caused them dysfunction they can then deal with it, heal from it, and move on. Dealing with your issues allows you the opportunity to learn and grow. Growth brings about maturity! This teaches you to see beyond your feelings, desires, and wants. It helps you to avoid making bad choices and decisions in your life. A changed mindset is a life altering game changer!

You Can’t Love the Hell Out of People


I think I blogged on this a few years ago. Today I wanted to revisit it. I don’t care how much you love someone you can’t love the hell (anger, dysfunction, drama, shenanigans, evil, crazy, unhealthy, etc. etc) out of them. Sadly, many people are trying. You can try for a lifetime, it will never work!

Some people love so hard until they actually lose sight of who they are as individuals. People are becoming depressed, suicidal, heartbroken, stressed out, loss of confidence, full of anxiety, and many other things because of the power they give to significant others and other loved ones. It’s very unfortunate.

I will always go back to the importance of loving self. When a person love his or or herself they no longer drain or exhaust self trying to make relationships work. They accept other individuals as they are and keep it moving. When you love yourself you no longer give power to others to dictate your life or to hurt you. You learn to love people at a distant if necessary.

No matter how much you love someone you can’t make their dysfunction go away. People often cause their own problems by allowing the dysfunction of others to
stir up problems in their lives. Sometimes you have to let individuals go in order to maintain your sanity/peace. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it means you don’t give them power over your life. If someone wants to live dysfunctional it’s their choice. You simply have to learn to accept them for who they are and remove yourself.

The dysfunction of other individuals isn’t your problem. You can’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by how other people choose to be, I don’t care who they are. Many people lose themselves trying to save, fix, or change certain individuals they love. It will never work! You can’t love the hell out of anyone, but you sure can open up the doors for hell to enter into your life.

Many people put themselves in situations they shouldn’t be in because of the love they feel for certain individuals. I don’t care who the individual is you always teach people how to treat you. If you love too hard they will know. Sometimes people love way too hard and most times it’s because they don’t know what love is truly about.

Sometimes people love in dysfunctional ways out of guilt (family or friends) or mainly out of seeking what they desire and want (significant others). People who do either or are individuals who need to look at self. When you take part in the dysfunction of others you enable them. This means there’s something about you that you need to address. Disconnect leads to dysfunction, period! This is why people exert and exhaust themselves trying to love the hell out of certain people when it’s impossible to do.

People only change when they want to. Any other change is only temporary! Love starts with you loving yourself, then you can better understand what love is and what it isn’t. Loving yourself teaches you the ability to walk away from negativity an1d dysfunction of others. You can’t change anyone no matter how much you love them.

Learn to Guard Your Heart


Many people need to learn this. It is also biblical. I know writing that doesn’t mean anything to some people. It is very true, many people need to guard their hearts. The problem with most people is they don’t understand what it means to guard your heart, because most are led by their hearts. In order to guard your heart you must be of a healthy sound mind. Having a healthy sound mind means you’re able to think and see clearly, then accept what you see.

Many people’s biggest mission is seeking love. Love is the top priority for many and unfortunately they seek it in the wrong ways with the wrong people. They seek love for many of the wrong reasons. It all goes back to unresolved dysfunction lying within. As I’ve always said, no matter how much people try to hide their dysfunction it will seep to the surface and out causing problems in their lives. It’s because people don’t deal with their issues which continues to cause them to make bad choices and decisions.

To guard your heart means being aware of what is happening in and around your life. It means loving yourself first and in loving yourself you will have the ability to walk away from people who aren’t good for you. People who haven’t dealt with their issues will get into bad situations with people. They don’t try to guard their hearts, because it’s all about self gratification for them. Their dysfunction causes them to seek desires of their hearts which is based on their feelings, wants, and desires.

If you don’t guard your heart no one else will either. When people do not resolve their issues they carry those issues around for a lifetime sabatoging their lives. They not only wreak havoc in their lives they wreak havoc in the lives of their significant others, families, friends, and others.

Individuals who don’t guard their hearts will often be used, abused, disrespected, and taken advantage of by others. They allow their feelings and hearts to lead them into unhealthy and unhappy relationships. They can’t see beyond their feelings. They have negative ways of thinking and feeling because of what lies within. Sad part is they don’t realize their dysfunction.

One of the biggest way people fail self is they don’t know how to love self, but they exhaust themselves seeking love in significant others not understanding what love is at all. You can’t guard your heart when you don’t love yourself. You don’t even understand what it means or the benefit of it.

If people change their mindsets it’ll change their lives. Many people never get to this level in life because of their inability to love self. Until they do they will never understand the importance of self love and guarding their hearts. Remember, people treat you basically how you treat yourself and most definitely how you allow. It doesn’t change until you choose change. No one can do it for you, but you!