I was recently talking to a group of people and it never ceases to amaze me the things people are going through. Most of what people go through they’ve actually caused by allowing it in their lives. You, me, nor anyone else when in a relationship has to take anything you don’t want to take from another person. Without a doubt people will always get what they allow.
There are many people who will take anything from someone in the name of their versions of love. The people I was talking to are actually allowing their significant others to control them. They have gotten into their relationships and lost self, because self was never priority. They think it’s love to relinquish their control and power to the individual’s they are with. This way of thinking is definitely caused by some type of brokenness.
As I’ve always stated, people who don’t heal from their issues which has caused their brokenness will continue to affected by what lies within. What’s inside is always stronger, therefore it interferes with what’s happening outside. It affects all facets of an individual’s life.
Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want you is a horrible one to be in. Being in a relationship and in love by yourself is no love at all. Being in a relationship with someone who’s cheating on you, abusive to you, disrespecting you, controlling you, manipulating you, isn’t communicating with you, their only taking from you, etc. etc, is a terrible relationship to be in and it’s NOT love! Love has nothing to do with it!
People seek love in others when they don’t love self, which causes further discord in their lives. They give up their freewill and therefore are subjected to ill behaviors at the hands of those who claim to love them. Significant others mistreat who they’re with because they know it’s allowed.
No one has power and control over you in a relationship unless it’s the foundation you’ve laid. If you don’t think you’re deserving of real love you will never have it, because you won’t know it when it comes. True love starts with loving self. People who mistreat their significant others are people who have their own issues. What’s in you is always coming out!
Allowing your significant other to control you says a lot about your confidence and esteem. Many people who are going through it don’t believe it, it’s still true. It’s a great indication you should re-examine yourself because something is most definitely wrong. Not only with you, but also with the one you think you love.
You must learn to love yourself first. Loving yourself teaches you about yourself and it teaches you about others as well. You become careful of who you allow in your life. You’ll know your power belongs to you and no one else. You will know you never have to lose yourself to be with someone. You will learn that to love someone doesn’t mean losing self. You will know love isn’t controlling, obsessive, abusive, or possessive. You won’t settle and you learn spending time with yourself is awesome!
To anyone who’s dealing with this type of relationship; it will always be the same unless you decide changing is the only option. Find yourself through self love. Deal with your issues so you can heal from them. This will change your mindset and your life!