It’s not Love, it’s You

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I posted about love being blind a year or so ago, I am readdressing this today. Despite what many believe love is NOT blind! Love is kind, patience, good, beautiful, and it is a word that describes emotions and feelings. A million people may have a million different descriptions for love, however it is only pure and good! God is love therefore it’s nothing but good! It is NOT what a lot of people think it is or claim it to be. One thing for certain it’s NOT blind! People who think they are in love are the one’s who are blind. They are blind by their emotions and feelings.

I don’t care how young or old many people are still led by their emotions and because of it they make horrible decisions and choices. Yes, due to different upbringings, environments, etc it can affect the way people think, perceive, feel, and act. However, ultimately as adults we can continue the same or choose to change.

People have many issues they haven’t faced or resolved, then they turn around and couple it with someone who also have their barrel of issues. They end up in chaotic relationships. They are either used or they are the users. They are controlled or they are the one’s who are controlling. They are abused or they are the abusers. They are manipulated or they are the manipulators. What I’m boiling it all down to is they have this negative load they transfer from relationship to relationship. They seem to continue to go in and out of relationships with the same type of people. They haven’t figured out that although the person they are with may undoubtedly have issues, they have a host of their own as well.

When a person is led by the flesh it is always for some form of self gratification. They will go to the extreme to get it. When it comes to their relationships these individuals are moved by what they are feeling and it clouds their judgment. No matter how bad their situations really are they can’t see the truth, because they are blind by their feelings and emotions. People around them can see, but the individuals who are involved can’t see the truth. People ONLY wake up when it’s so bad something has to give, they then begin to clear the fog. Unfortunately some never see through the fog!

These types of people have many insecurities. I’m speaking beyond the normal insecurities a person may have. I think we all have something, but not to the point of it affecting us. People who have issues they haven’t resolved or learned to cope with the affects of those issues allow their insecurities to wreak havoc in their lives. They are individuals who lean and depend on others for happiness. They seek love in all of the wrong ways, people, and oftentimes places. They need someone to make them feel validated. When they are in relationships they either love too hard too quick or their trust and insecurities causes other problems for them and their relationships.

The best recommendation I can give a person is to look inward at self. People can’t put the blame on no one, who we are lies with us. I know there are many avenues and experiences to get us to where we are, but individually we have
to take responsibility for who we choose to be. If people step back and look clearly at their situations they will see the truth. If people continue to be led by how they feel they will continue be led into places they really don’t want to be. People treat you EXACTLY how you allow them to treat you, they won’t change how they treat you until you change how you allow them to treat you! Get it!!

If people stop being obsessed by their feelings they can see clearly. People must first love self and when they do how they see things change. People who love self matures to a new level of understanding. They know they don’t need a woman or are a man to validate them and they embrace if they have to be alone until the right one comes along. They’re no longer interested in Mr. or Ms. Right now! They learn good looks don’t get it, money doesn’t get it, status doesn’t get, or any of those things. They will understand what they want may NOT be what they need!

Always look at your situation and never settle for one way love, because in truth it’s no love at all!

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Love has Nothing to do With it

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Love has nothing to do with it, because the people I am writing about knows nothing about love. They are only faithful, dedicated, and committed to self in their own warped ways. Meaning they get what they want, when they want it, and by any means necessary.

Many people are married or in long term relationships, but they aren’t faithful. They are some of the saddest people alive. I believe some of the biggest reasons people are in unhealthy and unhappy relationships they don’t take the time to get to know who they are with; because they fall too quickly, they feel pressured or obligated to become married, they do it because their friends or family have done it, and the biggest reason of all is they get into relationships for all of the wrong; with the wrong people for reasons beyond those I’ve just listed. Most can’t find the right one, because they are too busy trying to make it with the wrong one.

Love has nothing to do with why a person cheats. People cheat because of who they really are. What’s inside is sure to come out. They have pent up issues which makes them into who they are. These types of people take all types of risks to get what they want. They cheat multiple times and claim to be sorry, but they aren’t, they’re only sorry they get caught.

Many people are confused; but instead of dealing with their issues, they make bad choices and decisions. They continue to do the same things; getting the same results. They involve other people into their messed up lives causing havoc, heartache, and pain. This is why people should be very careful who they allow into their lives. Believe me when I write cause a person makes you feel good doesn’t mean they are good for you.

It’s hard for people to see through their issues. They allow their issues to consume them causing them to live dysfunctional lives. They don’t really care about anything other than self gratification. Oftentimes they cause pain to their significant others without remorse. They are full of hurt and pain so they inflict it into the lives of their significant others. They are oftentimes clueless as to why they continue to be unfaithful. I don’t care what a person says about their significant other, it’s not their significant other’s fault they cheated, they cheated because it’s a bad decision they made to cheat.

People shouldn’t ever get into serious relationships or marriages knowing they aren’t ready to be faithful. However, sad as it is, people do it every day. They get into relationships and then expect for their significant others to want to stay with them and deal with their mess. People need to think about the consequences of their actions and the risks they take of their own freewill.

A person may not know who they are with, but the person they are with know what’s going on with self. They know they have issues and they know they aren’t ready to be faithful. In their states of mind, they really aren’t capable of being faithful, because they only do what they want despite the pain it causes. They don’t know what they need, because they’re too focused on getting what they need. Love has nothing to do with it!

No one can see the truth until they are able to see past their feelings and emotions. With feelings and emotions cones hurt and pain. A person who is able to see beyond their feelings and emotions will be very careful NOT to become involved with those who can’t. It’s easy to see the truth when you can SEE the truth! Think about that for a moment!!!

THINKING THINGS THROUGH

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A whole lot of people mess up when it comes to thinking things through by NOT taking the time to do so. People are too fixated on “right now.” They want what they want, they want it right now, and they don’t care what they have to do to get it. People fail to take serious what the repercussions of their actions may bring. They act out on things knowing full well they’re taking risks. When a person make decisions without thinking they will suffer the consequences of their own doings.

Many people make the dumbest decisions! The first thing people like to do is call them mistakes, they aren’t EVER mistakes, they’re bad choices/decisions. They risk their lives over sex by jumping into bed with a beauty only to get out with a BEAST (some form of disease or with a person who turned out to be everything THEY DIDN’T EXPECT). They risk their careers and all they’ve worked hard for over sex. They risk their marriages and other relationships over sex. All because they didn’t think things through. All it takes is a moment to think of what the repercussions or consequences your actions could cause you.

I’m not going to make sex the only topic in this post, but I did want to mention it in particular, because so many people of their own free will fall into the sex trap. Both men and women act as if they can’t control their urges when the truth is they can if they wanted to. To think of the problems it could potentially cause should be enough to keep people from being lead by their loins, but unfortunately it’s not. The person you risk it all to be with may look better, the sex may last longer, or feel better, but the bottom line is it’s still SEX and it’s NOT worth anyone ruining relationships, careers, or lives over.

People jump into so many bad situations without taking the time to think. Lives are changed forever simply because people don’t take an extra moment to think things through. It doesn’t matter what the situation; when a person don’t take the time to think things through there’s no one to blame but his or herself. People seem to care ONLY when they’re in trouble for whatever it is they’ve done. By then it’s TOO LATE; the damage has been done.

All of the old sayings are true “you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, everything that glitters isn’t gold, and because it looks good doesn’t mean it’s good for you.” It’s NO JOKE; this is for real! Stop doing things that are costing you your jobs, families, careers, lives, and/or freedom. Nothing is worth it when “it’s all said and done.”

A lot of marriages could be saved if people would think before they do things they can’t UNDO. I’m not singling out infidelity. However, it is a HUGE PROBLEM in relationships. I’m talking anything (the way you talk, the things you say, the things you do, etc, etc). Start taking time to think about how you speak to your loved ones. Take the time to think about how you treat them or what you’re saying to them (especially in anger). THINK BEFORE YOU GET ANGRY IN THE FIRST PLACE!

This topic spreads across many situations in people’s lives not only marriages and other relationships. It spills over into jobs, people are making bad decisions to take part in scams, stealing from their businesses or the public. Individuals or making bad decisions to steal from the federal government claiming things they know aren’t true. People are lying to get what they want, period no matter the risks taken! People make bad decisions to drive under the influence or get into the cars with someone who’s under the influence and because of it people have lost their lives or became forever maimed.

People have to get to a point where their morals, values, integrity, honesty, loyalty, etc.. keeps them from doing the wrong things. This is why AT ALL TIMES it’s important to be conscious of what you’re thinking and of what you’re doing. The more you do this, you will be more conscious of right and wrong. Don’t go along with wrong for no one and for goodness sakes stop willfully partaking in wrong. A lot of the problems people find themselves in are situations that could have been avoided if they took the time to think things through.

Look at all of the people who have harmed others in the heat of anger. Those life changing moments could have been avoided had they took the time to think things through. Such unnecessary loss of control. I could name hundreds of things that would fall into the category of consequences or repercussions people face all due to the fact they don’t take the time to think things through. Once you do it, it’s done. Once you say it, it’s said. You can’t take things back nor can you re-do them. At any given moment ALL you have is that moment. Make what you do matter!! Take the time to think before you take ANY actions (speaking or doing). If you don’t you could very well change the entire course of your life and start down a road you never intended to be on. It’s up to you!!

THE AFFECTS OF LUST

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Loving someone is way different then lusting after them. A lot of relationships starting by lust and it’s why many of them has either failed or the individuals involved are miserable together. Lusting after one another will not help form a lasting bond. Lust does nothing but keep you from seeing the things you need to see (the things that are important). It breaks up relationships and diminishes character. It interferes with reality, because all you see is what makes you feel good or turn you on. 

Through lust you’re completely looking through the windows of your heart. It’s like tunnel vision. Your mind is occupied with how that person makes you feel versus you seeing the entire big picture. Lust confuses and camouflages the truth. It’s what happens when people accept any and everything to be with someone. They think they’re in love, but they aren’t driven by love, but by that of lust. 

People who lust after those they are trying to get with do so because of what they see. It can be something material or it can be after the physical body. If getting with someone has nothing to do with actual love, the lust will wear thin and eventually out. Then one or both individuals will sooner or later move on to the next best thing. This is when someone gets hurt, because it is often lust for one, but something more for the other person involved. However, sometimes it’s lust for both involved and completely about the physical attraction and sex.

Lusting after a person has caused many their lives. I didn’t want to post about teenagers/young adults, but in the true scheme of things this topic also involves them and their beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. They go by what they see, hear, and think (whether good and/or bad). Unfortunately this post does relate to teenagers/young adults (those who are not yet adults). It also relates to adults. We’ve heard over and over how teenagers are meeting people on line and end up running away to be with them. They sometimes end up as sex slaves, pregnant, or dead. We’ve also heard of teenagers/young adults who fall in what they think is love with another person and sometimes go to the extreme to be with them. Some of them become belligerent and out of control, they’re fueled by their thoughts of what they think is love, but it’s not, it’s lust. Most adults don’t know what love is, so what do you think teenagers/young adults think when it comes to love? It’s why as adults involved in the life of children (whether our own or someone else’s), we must set good examples and provide good guidance.

Lust has destroyed many lives. It has literally destroyed lives on both personal and professional levels. How many times have we heard of politicians, teachers, preachers, and many more who end up losing their statuses or relationships over lust? There are too many to count. The behaviors these people get caught displaying has nothing to do with love. It’s all about self gratification and seeking relief of their loins. That’s it! Every last bit of it boils down to what’s really inside of each of us. It will come out sooner or later; one way or another. For those lusting after someone, they’ll continue to go after what they desire. It makes them feel good so they’ll continue to do what they’re doing until they’re caught up in some way or the relationship ends.

Countless amounts of people get into relationships stemming from lust. Not only do they start relationships many have gone on to marry knowing they aren’t in love. Eyes has the tendency to open once things have gotten bad or completely out of control. What I mean is this; it’s like a light bulb finally comes on and people realize the mess they’re in. They’re no longer in denial, some never were, it’s the person they’re with who’s in denial. They feel stuck and regretful. All of it could be avoided by not doing it in the first place. Being in love and loving your significant other can last, but lust never does. Passion can last if you continue to work at it, but lust dies! Serious relationships leading to marriage should have passion, but lust is a total different thing.

People can control lust, but it has to be a personal choice. Instead of even trying, most people fall into temptation of lust knowing it could cost them everything; to include their lives. They always think IT CAN’T HAPPEN TO ME! Well, that’s where you’re wrong! It can happen to you if it’s the lifestyle you’re living. If you continue to play around with things in your head, you will eventually act on them in some way or another.

People can look attractive on the surface, but underneath they can be volcanos about to erupt. Looks doesn’t define who a person is. A person can be good looking on the surface, but what dwells within can be something you didn’t bargain for. We’re living in 2014 and people still don’t get it. They’re still being led by their loins (feelings). This can lead to destruction. We’ve seen it over and over again. Still it happens! There are many truths of individuals with diseases purposely spreading it to others (most by society’s view are considered attractive). They lead people into their webs of deception and lust, because individual’s fall for them due to their looks. These individuals have agenda’s but those involved with them are being lead by lust.

There are many bad situations people find themselves in due to their lustful natures. Those lead by Lustful hearts lives oftentimes ends with destruction and/or some type of devastation. When will people learn??????????