You Created Your Drama

Standard

People are getting into relationships with folks who are already in relationship and snapping because it’s not going how they wanted. How can you think anything good is going to come out of your wrong doings? People must learn to see past their feelings; when they can’t what’s inside will always show up outside.

People are murdering folks or harming them in different ways, because they can’t deal with the drama they willfully got into. You can’t get with someone else’s significant other and get upset with the fact they won’t give you what you’re seeking. You can’t get mad because they won’t leave who they are with for you. It’s very foolish for people to subject themselves to such nonsense.

Recently a lady killed a man over this. He was a pastor (at least that is what his title was). She shot and killed him and wounded his wife. Her words to him was “you hurt me.” Go figure! You will always end up in a circle of drama when you subject yourself into situations such as this one. People do to you what you allow.

Until individuals learn to love self they will never be able to see past their feelings and emotions. They will continue to involve themselves in bad and unhealthy situations.

A person should never want what someone else has or who someone else has. If an individual wants to cheat with you, then you should tell them NO! Unfortunately too many people seek happiness in other individuals no matter the consequences. These people some of you involve yourselves with are not happy inside of self and this is why they are cheating in the first place.

If a person tries to form a relationship with you and they are already in a relationship this is the first indication they are NOT someone you should become involved with. If they are cheating on who they are with they will cheat on you. If they don’t respect who they are with, they won’t respect you. You will always be the side piece (male or female).

One thing I’ve learnt in dealing with people is how they make themselves available to a cheater. They put their life on the back burner to try and please the cheater, not understanding the cheater is always going home or wherever to the one they are with. You will always be the side piece. Don’t settle for this type of relationship.

The only thing will change a person is change itself. No one can change if they are not in the mindset to change. You can’t get into the mindset until you deal with the man/woman in the mirror. People must stop looking to other people and start looking inward. You’re your worst problem! You’re your worst enemy. Not the other person or other people, but you yourself. Until people face self drama is exactly what they will allow in their lives. No amount of money, title, status, position, or anything else will change this fact!

You don’t know love until you learn to love yourself first!

Advertisements

How do you Know if you Love Yourself

Standard

It is always shown in how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you! Sometimes people don’t realize they don’t love self. They actually think they do. When you allow foolishness in your life, there is a problem with you! You may not want to accept this truth, but it’s still the truth.

A lot of times a person don’t want to spend time with self, but they think other people should want to be with them. You must learn to spend time with self. Alone time teaches you EXACTLY who or what you are! You know you better than anyone else. When no one else is around, it leaves you with who you really are! Either you grow to be a better person or you choose to stay the same. It depends on you! It’s a decision only you can make for yourself!

You can fake and pretend with other people, but you know the real you! You can run and hide from folks, but you can’t from yourself. There are many things in life that happens to us involuntarily. We didn’t ask for it, but it happened. No matter what it is or who was involved it doesn’t define who we are or who we become unless we allow it.

We must learn to love self despite of anything and everything! When we do it changes the course of our lives. It opens our eyes to the truth. We see things differently, because we think differently. Junk you used to carry around you will let go. Junk you used to take you will no longer take.

Life is about you! It’s not about what others do, say, or act. It’s about how you let those things affect you! People can’t crush your soul if you don’t allow them too. They can’t take your power if you don’t give it. When you learn to love yourself it’s a game changer!

The problem I’ve found with many people is they lean and depend on others too much. They give people their power by seeking happiness, love, peace, and joy in those people. This can have devastating results! If you’ve lived long enough then you should know the one’s you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the most if you allow. No one can possess your power if you didn’t freely give it for them to possess. People who hurt you are also individuals who are hurting in some form or another. Like you, they too need to learn to love self.

People will always have something to say. When you give your power they will talk about you, when you take back your power they will talk about you. Guess what? Let them talk, they will do it anyways! I guarantee you that you will feel much better and the joy, peace, love, and happiness you used to seek in others you will find in yourself.

When you learn to love yourself people will see it in you. They will see the change. They will see your strength. They will know they can’t treat you any kind of way. They know they will have to move along with their shenanigans. Some will not want to be around you at all. They don’t like the change in you, because they are still unhappy with what’s inside of them. It’s okay, it’s your life not theirs. You will no longer base your happiness, peace, love, or joy on anyone other than yourself.

No one can love you if they don’t love self and you can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself. It never starts with the other person, it starts with you!

Baggage Doesn’t Go Away Unless Thrown Out

Standard

If people could truly understand the message it could help change mindsets. There are many people walking around carrying unnecessary and excess baggage from their pasts. They have the tendency to hold grudges about everything. They are negative people with the wrong mindsets. It’s because they have a lot of baggage inside they need to clean out!

You ever seen the show Hoarders? Metaphorically speaking this is how it is with people who carry baggage around. The baggage I’m referencing is baggage that’s invisible to the naked eye, but it produces visual effects. It ruins the lives of many. It ruins lives because it is what people allow to happen. It’s similar to the life of a hoarder. The more you shovel things aside they do nothing but pile up until you’re overwhelmed by the mess. I’m not bashing hoarders, but I believe it’s a great metaphor where people could get a good visualization of what I am writing about.

If not dealt with and cleaned out baggage will continue to pile up. For many when you add your baggage along with the baggage of others and what life throws at you, it’s too much for some people to handle. A lot of people carry the baggage of others, because they don’t know how to handle their own. They try to juggle it all. It forms into a great big mess! I always say the blind can’t lead the blind, regardless of who is trying to lead.

Until people deal with what is causing them to be how they are they will do nothing other than remain the same. People must be willing to tackle the truth. Its no one’s truth but yours, the individual! Carrying baggage around for a lifetime does nothing, but weigh you down and fill you with suppressed junk. There’s absolutely no benefit to it at all. People carry around things they should have let go long ago.

Some people feel they need closure. Sometimes you can’t get closure, therefore you have to make your own if it helps you to move on. If you need to forgive start by forgiving yourself, then move on from there. We only have one life to live. The sad part is many people waste their lives holding on to old memories of past experiences. Mentally they relive those events due to the power they give those memories which forms those negative thoughts and feelings. No one has to live this way.

Give yourself a chance for happiness. You can’t do it if you’re holding on to baggage. Baggage won’t get rid of itself, you have to throw it out! Dump it and move on! You may never forget, but how much it affects you is up to you! If you continue to hold on to it the baggage continues to pile up, it rots, and it stinks. It will ruin your life if allowed. Please don’t allow it anymore. Don’t go into 2019 the same way you’ve always been. Make a decision to change. Make a decision to no longer deny yourself happiness! Learn to love yourself starting right now! This life is the only one you will get! Make it the best life you can! Make that promise to yourself and then stick to it!

Change Or Remain The Same It’s Up to You

Standard

In life many people settle. Some people make no efforts to change. They become content. They want to reap the benefits of others labor, while they stay in the same place OR they continue the old generational ways of doing things with no attempts to change. They envy other people because they don’t like who they are as individuals or they hate others, because in truth they hate self. I find if very sad!

Every one of us has our own individual lives to live. We can choose to waddle in pity, continue to carry the same torch, or we can choose to change the cards dealt to us. No matter the situation a person can change their life. It takes the need to change coupled with the desire to change. It takes willingness and consistency. It’s only as easy or hard as the individual choose to make it. Some people spend more time complaining and blaming others then they do putting forth effort to improve their own lives. Improvement can’t come unless change happens.

There are already life obstacles thrown in our way. People shouldn’t put added pressures on themselves or others due to their unwillingness to change. Too many people hold on to terrible things which keep them stuck and unable to move forward. In order to move forward, people must first deal with what’s causing stagnation in their lives. If you are filled with anger, rage, bitterness, envy, malice, hate, etc you’ve cause stagnation in your life. You can’t go through life weighed down if so it’s like trying to walk through quicksand. It’s impossible! People become stuck in one place.

One of the biggest problems I’ve found with a lot of people is they don’t even attempt to break their generational curses of wrong ways of thinking. You ever seen a supervisor or manager come on a job, instead of implementing change they get on the band wagon and carry on the same foolishness as the previous person in charge, it affects morale and work productivity. This is exactly how many choose to live their lives. They carry their wrong ways of thinking for a lifetime despite the pain it causes self and others. No matter how wrong, many people feel it’s easier to continue to be the way they’ve always been then to change. They become content and comfortable as the years roll by.

In reality it’s not easier, it’s harder and it’s evident by the chaos and destruction seen in their lives. I find selfishness and unwillingness to make an effort to change keep them bound in captivity by self. Many people don’t realize they’ve imprisoned themselves by their negative thought processes. People expect for you to put up with their foolishness. They think how they think, feel, and act is okay when it’s not. These types of people don’t realize they are their own problem and in their own way. They miss out on things in life, because they refuse to change their ways. Many continue to carry hatred, slothfulness, bitterness, envy, and many more negative ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. If they aren’t things passed down from generation to generation they are things individual’s encountered early in life. Either way it has made them embrace negatives ways of thinking. It has caused them chaos and negative states of mind. It all inhibits an individual’s ability to grow!

People of all walks of like are this way. It’s universal! No one can change a person but the individual. People can be influenced, inspired, or motivated by others, but the true decision to change lies with the individual.

The old saying “when you know better you do better.” It’s a lie!! There are plenty people who know better but do NOT choose to do better. This is extremely sad! These types of people continue through life the same. They inflict pain and suffering on others, because it’s what they have bottled up inside. You can’t teach or love it away. The person must choose change for self.

Going Against the Grain Despite the Signs

Standard

Many people get into relationships knowing full well they see the signs present. Problem is they choose to ignore the signs until they are overwhelmed, overtaken, and consumed emotionally. People willfully put themselves in bad situations expecting good results. It doesn’t work! They go into relationships blindly allowing emotions and feelings to lead.

People who do this has issues they need to resolve. No one can see clearly when they are blind by their feelings and emotions. People who do this oftentimes find themselves in situations they didn’t imagine being in.

Significant others know exactly how to treat the people they are with, because they are taught by those individuals. Significant others who haven’t overcome their own issues will bring their issues into the relationship. Then you have two individuals who are both blind by their feelings and emotions. This leads to destruction. There’s no true ability to communicate when communication is the key to any relationship.

It’s hard to understand what you need when you’re hell bound on getting what you want. Many times people get what they wanted only to find out they don’t want it at all.

I can’t tell people enough the importance of knowing and loving yourself. It’s very important in relationships. A true healthy relationship starts with self. Knowing who you are, being self aware, and loving self helps keep you focused and smart about what you really need. You learn to see beyond emotions and feelings. When you figure you out, people will then sometimes have a problem with you, because they have problems with self. They expect for you to be the way you used to be.

My suggestion to people is to figure self out. Learn to love yourself before you try to commit to and love someone else. Take time to enjoy you. Some people jump from relationship to relationship, because they don’t know how to be alone. I’ve seen it time and time again. People from all walks and caliber of life do this. A lot of times people think folks with a lot of money do things differently. This may be true as for buying things, going places, etc, but as for relationships, many are dealing with the same types of issues. Nothing changes what’s inside, but change itself. Money, fame, fortunate, titles, will not do it. What’s inside is always shown through bad choices and decisions and it doesn’t matter who the individual is or what they have. What a person thinks and feels about self is shown through their choices and decisions. In life they will go against the grain, because they think it’s best for them when it’s not!

Some people don’t care how plain the writing is on the wall to others because they can’t see the writing on the wall for self. They go against the grain out of the love they think they feel. For many it has caused great stress and for some their lives. The signs do not lie! They will present every time, but people ignore them due to their feelings. They think they love the person and they feel they got to have the person. Then they begin to see the chaos and drama in their lives.

Some people don’t attempt to get out of unhealthy relationships, because they are afraid. They are afraid to stand on their own two feet. They are afraid of the person. They are afraid of how they will make it. If you’re afraid for any reason you’re in the WRONG relationship!

No one can give what a relationship deserves when they haven’t yet learned to love self and are not self aware. They will always be led by how they feel, because it will over power everything else making them look at things in a distorted view. People will use and abuse you, because they know you will take it. You teach your significant other exactly how to treat you! If you keep making the same types of decisions and choices it’s a clear sign you’re not learning from your experiences!

You get Exactly What You’ve Allowed

Standard

In relationships if you don’t love yourself don’t expect for anyone else to love you. What I am saying here is many people are in bad relationships because they’ve become involved with people who are like them (messed up emotionally). Stop doing this especially thinking the one you chose to be will love you when you don’t love yourself. What you fail to understand is the person you’re trying to love don’t love his or herself either. They will treat you exactly how you treat yourself (no respect, no love, no care).

Many people take any type of treatment, because they’re trying to make something out of nothing. You can’t change a person no matter what you do unless they want to change. Before you try tackling someone else’s issues, you must first tackle your own!

Love can’t be bought! A person will love what you do for them, but not love you! If you start a relationship off by trying to buy love, that’s what you will have to do to keep the person you’re with. Nothing you give a person will make them love you or want to be with you.

Many people get into relationships seeking something they are missing and oftentimes never really had (this thing called love). Love first starts with you! When you love yourself you know what love is. You will know you don’t have to buy love nor do you have to take any unnecessary drama to be loved by someone.

The person you’re with will treat you exactly how you allow, because you’ve taught them exactly how to treat you! When you take unnecessary crap from someone they will surely give it. People try you to see what you will take and when they see they can get away with crap, they will freely oblige you with it! It can be disrespect, abuse, cheating, lying, manipulation, using you, or whatever. If you allow it they will do it!

It all goes back to what you think and feel about yourself. It’s also how you treat yourself! If you have no standards, you get no standards. If you have no requirements, no requirements is what you will get. If you have no self respect, you get none. The list goes on!

A person who loves his or herself will always feel good about self. This type of individual will treat you right. Anything less than that gets you any type of treatment. Any individual who allows his or herself to be mistreated in any way need to look inward at self. You are your own problem! You can’t change anyone and no one can change you! However, if you allow someone to mistreat you, they will!