What you Allow Tells the Truth About you

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Although this can affect all facets of a person’s life, I am right back on the subject of people in abusive relationships. In the past two weeks I’ve heard of 2 women and 1 man dying at the hands of their significant others.

I’ve said and written countless times if you’re too afraid to leave you’ve stayed too long. If you feel trapped, you’ve stayed too long. Too many people continue to get into abusive relationships.

I believe what people accept and allow in their lives indicates who they really are. It shows a lot about the individual. People can pretend all day the truth shows in the decisions and bad choices people make.

No one is exempt! This happens to rich and famous as well as all races and genders. The only exempt people are those who have matured to a point of understanding who they are and loving self. These people will NOT allow just any ole person into their lives. They want what is best for them. They do NOT allow their hearts to lead without using their brains at the same time. They know what feels good isn’t necessarily good for them. They know “everything glitters isn’t gold.” They know people say one thing, but will do another. They aren’t led or influenced into relationships by their feelings, because they have learned to walk away from anything that is potentially unhealthy for them. It’s something people learn to do when they learn from their past choices and decisions, when they figure out and work on self, and when they learn to love self enough to demand better for self.

Many people are full of baggage they’ve carried for years which has caused them insecurities to include low esteem and low self confidence. The problem is people are in denial. Most people think they have it together, but if they would step away from their feelings and look at the truth they will see they don’t. People need to step out of their feelings into the truth. The truth hurts, because it’s the truth. The truth shows us the real deal whether it’s accepted or not.

Many people choose to get into and stay into unhealthy relationships because they are looking for love. They think by being with someone they will have love and security. You can’t find something in someone you don’t have in yourself. When people do this they are left with more heartaches and pains then before they entered into their relationships. They are totally blind by their perceptions of the truth. Their self esteem and confidence is very low and they normally are full of self blame. They lie and try to hide the abuse they endure and the take the blame many times when they are publicly abused.

All of this allowance and acceptance is due to what people feel about self. They don’t think they deserve better. They accept the wrong people into their lives. They desperately want love, when they obviously don’t know what love is, and when they don’t even love self.

When entering into relationships people must know what they need above what they want and the difference between the two. If you don’t know the difference research it and then think about it. In relationships getting what you want is based mostly on feelings of the heart (sex, money, looks, statuses of people, material things). None of it will hold a relationship together and none of it makes a person into who you wish for them to be. People are led by their feelings and emotions. They want what makes them feel good instead of what is good for them. This has led many into abusive relationships with deadly consequences for many.

Stop thinking it’s love when a person wants constant controlling tabs on you, when they tell you what to wear, when they tell you where you can and can’t go, when they ostracize you from others, when they want to control your time, when you can’t do anything without them being present, when they (push, spit on, hit you in any form) you, when they are very disrespectful in how they speak to you while alone or in public, or when they have total control over the relationship. There are many other things abusive people will do, NONE of it is love. They are displaying dangerous warning signs.

There is a difference between loving and caring for a person’s well being versus trying to control a person in obsessive and possessive ways. It is NOT love! People who do this has deep seated issues. Those who accept and allow it also has their own deep seated issues. There are ALWAYS signs, I don’t care if they’re subtle or not, they are always present. Love isn’t blind, people are blind in what they think is love.

Many people get caught up in their feelings. They think what they feel is real. They think what they feel is good for them. How do you know what’s good for you when you don’t know what love is and you don’t love yourself enough to adhere to what’s NOT good for you? People who are searching for love grab and hold on to anything making them feel good, even when it’s not good. They are blind by those feelings and emotions. They oftentimes make excuses for their abusers. They don’t understand this is enabling and giving their abusers the green light to continue abusing them. It has NOTHING to do with love.

When a person doesn’t know their worth outwardly they make act differently, but inside they are full of insecurities coming to the surface. It shows through the allowances and acceptances in their lives. A person can fake and pretend all day, but the truth shows. As I stated earlier NO ONE is exempt. Until people wake up they will continue to get into and stay in abusive relationships. Unfortunately many will continue to die at their hands of their significant others.

Walking Away From the Start

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People must learn to do this! If people would walk away from things that aren’t right from the start many wouldn’t be in the predicaments they are in. People allow how they feel for a person get them into avoidable situations. I will guarantee you if you walk away from bad situations from the start it will save you drama and stress later on. For some walking away will save their lives.

I’m not saying walk away from a relationship without ever trying to work on it. I’m saying walk away from unhealthy people to avoid being in unhealthy relationships. You do this by adhering to the signs. Stop looking at the outer appearance, stop looking at what a person has to offer. A person can be rich and completely tainted and toxic. They aren’t worth the pain and suffering of being involved with them.

Many women get into relationships with men who clearly show them they aren’t right for them, but because they think they love their men they continue on with the relationships. Many later find they made bad choices and poor decisions. Too many women go solely off of how they are feeling about the guy instead of looking at what is actually taking place in their relationships. They go into relationships thinking their men will change, trying to save them, or thinking they can fix them. This is a foolish and immature way of thinking and it leaves women in bad unhealthy relationships. They are fixated on the sex, how he makes her feel, and basically it all is intertwined into how he makes her feel. These women seem to lose a grip on reality until finally their eyes are open, by then it’s too far gone.

Too many women subject their children to unhealthy and unsafe environments by allowing people who shouldn’t be around their children into their lives. Children can’t fend for themselves, they rely on their parents. Women who are too caught up in their men to see what is going on are women who have a lot of issues they need to deal with. It’s a sad situation for these women and their children.

Many women are allowing men to beat, molest, rape, and hurt their children mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It scars children for a lifetime. These types of women need to get their heads out of the sand. A man who mistreats a child is a man who will mistreat his woman. Wake up and protect your children. Too many children are becoming victims to the hands of their mom’s significant others. These types of things cause dysfunction in the lives of children then they grow to be dysfunctional adults making bad decisions like their parents. I’m not saying all children will grow into dysfunctional adults, but many will and we see it every single day in some facet in all walks of life.

Men get into relationships for the some of the same exact reasons. They think they can save a woman or fix her. They are captivated by the outer appearance (shallow thinking). They get caught up in their sexual feelings or what is being done for them and to them. Sex is sex, period. Some men and women may perform a little better than others, but the bottom line is sex is sex. Some men; same as women think the person they are with will change or that they can fix them. Men like women; allow what they are feeling in their hearts to lead them into making bad decisions and choices. This does nothing but cause chaos and havoc in the lives of many.

Walking away from bad situations prevents worse things from happening. I don’t care how good it makes a person feels, if it’s not a good relationship it is bad and therefore unhealthy and unsafe. When people stay in relationships too long they suffer the consequences of their bad choices and decisions in one way or another. Sometimes those around them suffer the consequences as well.

No man or woman has to be in unhappy, unhealthy, and unsafe relationships. People get into and stay in them by choice until one day they see the truth for what it is and by then they feel stuck there by some form of fear. It can all be avoided by paying attention to the signs and walking away before things goes too far. Love isn’t unkind, impatience, possessive, obsessive, or controlling. It isn’t verbal, physical, or emotional abuse in no sense of the word. If someone loves you they will not want to cause you or your loved ones any pain. Many people miss this because they are too focused on how they are feeling. They miss all the signs until it’s gone too far. Sad, but true!

Another Senseless Killing

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Many of us have heard about the recent killing of a teacher by her husband of one month. He killed her and then killed himself. This man didn’t wake up deciding to kill her, he had thought about it for a while. I’ve written many posts about people ignoring the signs. It’s no joke, it’s real. People are losing their lives, because they are too caught up in their emotions and feelings to see the signs.

I heard the relatives of the deceased teacher say as soon as the couple were married they saw the true him. The relative stated the guy changed. I don’t believe it for one second. He made not have shown his true colors to her family, but I bet he showed them to her. I’m sorry, I just do not believe there aren’t signs of the truth. I believe there are always signs no matter how subtle. The man who went into the classroom to kill his wife had a violent past which included domestic violence (sign). If she knew, why would she get into a relationship with him? If she didn’t know, I’m sure signs showed his tendencies for violence; yet she still chose him.

As I’ve always said, a person can only fake for so long, the truth will always surface. Many abusers have a way of manipulating and coercing. They know how to deceive and make their victims believe they are sorry for what they did (UNTIL THE NEXT INCIDENT). Women have to stop ignoring the signs. An abuser knows what to say and what to do. They are fighting their own demons. They want to control and dominate their victims.

I talked with many people after getting out of bad relationships who all said when they look back they could see the signs, but at the time of going through they FAILED to see them. Too many people lose their lives, because they do not adhere to the signs.

I’ve said it before and will  continue to say it; if a person is afraid to leave a relationship they have stayed too long. If a person feels trapped, they have stayed too long. The ONLY way to avoid unhealthy relationships is by NOT getting into them in the first place. People must learn to see past their emotions. It doesn’t matter how good it feels a person must see past their feelings. If it’s not right, what made you laugh will surely eventually make you cry.

Women and men who allow their feelings to lead them in and out of bad relationships need to look inward. They are seeking something in others they don’t have in self; which is love. When a person really love his or herself  they WILL NOT allow their feelings to blind them. They will walk away from drama and unnecessary mess. They will not give their power to anyone else and they will adhere to the signs. They won’t have any problems with being alone until the right one comes along. They are NOT depending on anyone else to live or for love and happiness. If you’re not happy alone, you won’t be happy with someone else, because your issues compiled with their issues is a time bomb waiting to blow.

Some individuals have their on issues and because of their issues of insecurities, lack of esteem and confidence, not loving themselves amongst other things; they allow people into their lives who they THINK love them. They bring bad unhealthy people around their families putting them smack in harm’s way. They fall for any form of love to get some form of love. Unfortunately this has caused many women and men to lose their lives.

It’s great to be loved, but first you must know what love is and what it isn’t. It’s NEVER abusive, ever! The problem with some people is they become lost in their feelings. They dismiss the treatment they are receiving and the many signs present. They feel good sporadically but they don’t understand they’re in an unhealthy relationship. They allow those good feelings to make them oblivious to the truth! They believe they can change the person, they believe it won’t happen again, they dismiss family and friends telling them what they see, etc. etc. This all happens, because these individuals are blind to the truth and they want what they want; even when it’s no good for them.

Be careful and guard your hearts. Don’t allow people into your lives who will hurt you. Open your eyes to the truth. It’s great to be in love, it’s great to be loved, but make sure you know what love is and definitely what it isn’t. Make sure you aren’t seeking something in someone because of something you’re lacking or never had. If you are you may find yourself in bad relationships and oftentimes it’s a repeating cycle. These types of people have often been in similar relationships with similar type people. If a person plays roulette long enough in any aspect of their life, eventually the unfortunate happens. Many people don’t understand the things they harbor inside can lead them into making the worse decisions and choices ever! In many cases it has caused individual’s their lives. Open your eyes and see the truth for what it is, even if it means getting the heck out of a relationship before it gets any deeper.

 

 

 

 

The Signs Don’t Lie

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IF the one you want to be with or is supposedly with only communicates with you through texting, then THEY aren’t that into you!!! When will some people get it? Look at the signs! Some of you are sitting somewhere right now waiting on a text. Stop expecting the one you want to be with or is supposedly with to be as available as you ALWAYS make yourself. The problem with many people especially women is they’re too dog gone available. You’re there at every beckoning call. Every text you receive, you’re on a reply within seconds when in return you have to wait minutes, hours, and sometimes days for a response. After hearing from them, some of you are as happy as rats in a cheese factory, (missing all the signs of the truth). Some people dismiss way too many relevant things.

When a person is insecure, eager, or desperate it shows in their bad choices and bad decisions. When a person finds all the time in the world for the person they love, but the individual has little time for them; this is a sign! Many miss this signs, because any bit of time they get they’re happy as can be; while totally overlooking the truth. Step back and assess your relationships! See who is doing all of communicating (calling/texting),then ask yourself is the person you’re with or want to be with giving to you what you need in return. If not, this is exactly what you’re bound to get once you settle for this type of relationship. How you’re treated will more than likely NOT change. If you accept excuses and crap from the start most times you will receive it throughout your relationships.

When a person isn’t as into you as you are them, they won’t take or make the effort you will take or make. This is a clear indication that something else is up! The receiver must face the fact it is what it is. If you settle you will get less than you deserve, point blank!! Don’t get twisted up about it, shake it off as their loss and move on. Stop settling for mess because it is all you will get in return! That’s a promise and a guarantee!!

Stop allowing people to handle you. This means stop letting people dictate to you, your happiness. You can give all you have, you can be available anytime and all the time, none of it will make him or her feel about you the way you feel about them. Some women think their cookies or their bodies are IT, they think it’s like no other. These women are fooling themselves, because a cookie is a cookie and a butt is a butt neither will keep your man at home and it sure won’t make a man want to make you a wife or even be with you the way you want him to be. He will get what he can when he can and still do exactly whatever else he wants to do. You can turn monkey flips upside down and do whatever he asks, if he’s not into you like you are him he will not give to you what you are looking for. This goes the same for men. You can do all you can, give all you have, but if she doesn’t feel about you the way you feel about her, it won’t matter!

My desire is to make people understand that no matter what you do if a person isn’t feeling about you the way you feel about them none of what you do or say will matter. They will continue to treat you the way you allow. They will never give you what you would like, because they don’t feel you like you’re feeling them. This is your truth, but many won’t accept it. They continue to pressure and push their way through until they finally are left feeling hurt. It’s not his or her fault it’s yours. The reason it’s yours is because you ignored the signs.

 

Your Life, Your Choice

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I was approached by someone who is in a bad relationship. This person asked my opinion on her situation. I thought the topic would make a good post this week. A lot of people stay in unhealthy and unhappy relationships for feelings of being trapped. That’s all it is, a feeling! You’re not trapped unless you’re held captive against your will, otherwise you are not trapped; you just don’t have the will to move on (for whatever reason/s). Leaving is always a choice many choose not to take.

You all know I’ve talked about this topic many times. As I’ve always said how a relationship starts out is oftentimes indicative of how it will end. It’s no surprise! However, people miss the signs due to their feelings and filling their needs for self-gratification (they want what they want when they want it.) This way of thinking often leave people feeling stuck in situations that aren’t good for them. They end up feeling trapped, obligated, afraid, insecure, etc and these are reasons they stay in unhealthy and loveless relationships.

Any person alive can prevent his or herself from being a part of a bad/unhealthy relationship by acknowledging the signs for what they are. Allowing what you feel for the person obscures the truth. Your longings for them sexually obscures the truth and is NOT the right way to a healthy relationship. You will never see the big picture if you’re blind or oblivious to the truth.

Case after case, scenario after scenario; people have repeatedly gotten into bad situations, because they allow their feelings and emotions blind them to the truth. They can’t “see past the end of their noses.” I firmly believe when a person is this caught up in another person they’re setting themselves up for heartache and pain, because they won’t acknowledge the truth until it’s too late (too deep in it, married, or dead).

Examples:

  1. When you’re all in it by yourself there’s a problem, but people can’t see it because for you it’s all about how you’re feeling about the person. The fact that they’re treated like crap doesn’t register. The fact that they’re with someone who has nothing to offer but added misery doesn’t register. I can go on and on. It doesn’t register because people are led by their emotions and feelings.
  2. When what you do is one-sided, this is a problem. If every time you look around your dishing out material things, initiating the intimacy, leading the conversations, attending to his or her needs, but it’s never reciprocated it is bound to be a huge problem later.
  3. When there’s no communication outside of sex or arguing; this is a problem and it will cause big problems in the relationship down the road. This is no way to build a healthy foundation.
  4. When someone is controlling where you go, who you’re around, what you wear, etc; this isn’t love, it’s a setup for a major problem and a huge sign of things to come; many of these types of people who are doing this are abusive in some form. To avoid being in relationships you’re afraid to leave for any reason; the solution is to get out before you get any more involved. This has to be done early in the relationship and the only way a person can or will do this is if they’re acknowledging the truth. I’ve heard so many women say they thought it was cute by their men not wanting them to wear certain clothes, wanting to know where they are and who they were with, etc. It’s NOT cute; it’s a clear sign that this is a problem. Stop allowing your hearts to lead you in dangerous waters.
  5. If the relationship or marriage is forced in any way (pregnancy, pressure from the significant other, family & friends, etc), this will most definitely pose as a major problem down the road. There will undoubtedly be regret and anger down the road because love was never there. The relationship evolved out of sense of obligation or responsibility.
  6. When his or her friends and family are more important then you, this will definitely cause hardship down the road. This is accepted by many until they realize this is the way it is and they can’t change it. Now it’s a problem, but it’s a problem you should have dealt with it beforehand. People don’t, because they are too caught up in their feelings and most think they can change the minds of those they’re involved with. More than likely they can’t! In the beginning mess was accepted and in the end they get what they accepted in the beginning (mess)!
  7. If you find yourself with someone who’s abusive in any kind of way it will be a big problem down the road. No type of abuse should be brushed off. A lot of people have died in abusive relationships because they were completely led by their feelings and emotions for the other person until their eyes open; then they felt trapped or were too afraid to leave. It shouldn’t have ever gotten to this point! Abusers are very manipulative; they know what to say and do to get you hooked. However, people can avoid being bamboozled by looking beyond their emotions/feelings. These types of individuals (abusers) can be very nice, but the core of who they are always shows in some way. People get confused because these individuals go back and forth between good and bad behaviors. Duh, duh, duh!! That is a sign in itself.

I can go on for days on this topic. People get deeper into relationships that are tagged red from the beginning. People begin to feel trapped because of their lack of esteem and confidence in self. They feel they can’t make it alone so they stay. A lot of people who feel this way don’t realize they’re already making it alone, because although with someone they are lonely people. This isn’t love nor is it a healthy relationship.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re afraid of whom you’re with or you’re afraid to leave, this is a serious problem that shouldn’t have been allowed to get to this point. You didn’t wake up and find your relationship this way; it has been this way for a long time. Unfortunately you were blind by emotions and feelings.

I don’t know what else to say or how many times I must keep saying it, but it’s all about choice. Your life is yours and you have the choice to choose whether or not you will continue in your relationships. You have the choice to accept what’s dished out or not. You can’t make the best decision if you’re led by a heart filled with emotions of the other person, because he or she is all you will think about and out of it comes all of the thoughts, feelings, etc. Going off of those feelings and emotions will definitely cause a person to make the wrong choices.

I believe it’s simple to avoid bad relationships and situations by accepting the signs before us. I don’t care how good it makes you feel, this doesn’t mean it’s good for you. This is why people need to learn how to look past those feelings and embrace what’s truly good for them. Doing the opposite says a lot about you as an individual. It says what you believe about yourself and it shows their are insecurities and inner issues. Over the years when it comes to relationships I’ve seen the same bad decisions and choices made by thousands. Despite it all people will continue to be led by their feelings and emotions into bad relationships. At the end of the day, for many it’s all about satisfying the flesh. Sad, but true.

PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN

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I’ve watched the local news lately and in one week there has been two Teachers who have been arrested for doing inappropriate things with their students. This happened in the same city. One actually had sex with a sixteen year old and the other was texting and sending inappropriate pictures to her student. I’ve mentioned in several previous posts how people present themselves as one thing when in fact they’re another. No title, position, status, or amount of money changes what’s truly dwelling within an individual. Unfortunately many children are at risk at the hands of adults who are supposed to protect them.

There is so much going on in this world today. Every single time I look around there’s news on television of children being abducted, found dead, raped, molested, beaten, etc. etc. If you watch the news, I am sure you’ve seen it too. For some of you it may hit home harder than for others. I’m going to do what I normally do and that is write what’s on my mind. As usual some of you will like it and some of you won’t. I will still write what I believe needs to be written.

TEACHERS

I’m so sick of these scandalous and sick women who are in the school systems molesting and raping children. They get into the school systems so to have easy access to children. Nothing just happens! These women know the issues they have inside. I’m sure although they got caught this isn’t the first time they’ve done something inappropriate with children. Something is wrong with a full grown women becoming aroused or attracted to a child. I don’t care how mature he acts, how cute he is, or how grown he looks. HE’S A CHILD! These individuals are people who represent themselves as Educators but who end up betraying students and parents who trust them.

Young school aged children don’t understand the true essence of what is really going on. They have hormones raging, some have issues at home so they fall prey to the “good teacher.” Why? They’re so attentive to the child’s need, they give them the attention they desire, and they feel cared about. The adults in these situations know in their hearts what they’re doing is wrong, but the will to do it over powers everything.  A lot of the adults have children and are married. Yet, due to lives they lead (chaotic, lonely, depressed, desperate, etc), they willfully choose to do the unimaginable. We always hear about female teachers who commit these acts, but male teachers do it as well. They most certainly do. It doesn’t matter who does it (male or female), it’s absolutely WRONG!

I think our society is so focused on certifications and licensure, they’re failing to distinguish what true character means. Way too many people are slipping through the cracks. No license, certification, nor any type of title tells the truth about a person. It doesn’t define who a person is and it doesn’t give merit as to how they will perform. It only shows proof of their academic ability to obtain their degree and the ability to past tests. This is why we see children being molested, raped, etc by people who are from of all walks of life.

SOME SINGLE WOMEN WITH CHILDREN

Some of you are so desperate and eager until you allow your men to have their way with your children. Some children end up dead at the hands of the men you bring into their lives. You as the parent shouldn’t EVER allow a man to abuse your child (IN ANY WAY AT ALL). This has to stop! Too many children are being harmed by the men you’re with. Open your eyes and see what’s going on in your faces. Stop ignoring it! To allow it means you’re as guilty as he is. Some of your so called men are molesting and raping your children. Many of you know what’s going on, but taking a blind eye to it. IT’S WRONG!!!!!! These children deserve much better than what they’re getting. They don’t deserve to be abused by the sick men you’ve allowed into their lives.

Some women know from the start the type of men they are with. They know from the start he’s a sex offender. SEX OFFENDER are you kidding me??? This is very sad, but it’s true. Why on earth would a woman bring a sex offender in her home PERIOD, but especially when she has children? This is a major red flag something is wrong with these types of women. They take their desires, wants, and needs and put them above the safety of their children. This is sick and women must wake up. I am not trying to bash women. I am a woman, but I’ve seen it far too much. I can’t tell you how many situations I’ve ran across where this is happening. The women act oblivious when in fact they aren’t. Our children are being born into and put into horrific situations. It’s a terrible thing!

Not only are children raped and molested, they’re beaten to death or they’re raped and then killed. It’s bad enough to violate them, but then they are murdered on top of it. People don’t want the truth, especially in it’s rawest form. Why sugarcoat or downplay the truth, when it’s the truth? This society is messed up in a great way. Everything meant for good is bad and everything bad is now meant for good. It’s what the devil wants. The devil wants confusion and everything opposite of God.

INSPECT AND ASK QUESTIONS

For parents; when it comes to your children you don’t have to suspect in order to inspect. Check your children, ask them questions. It’s terrible to say or to even think, but unfortunately it’s true; no one is exempt. Anyone is capable of doing the opposite of what you thought.

Some of you don’t want to deal with the truth especially pertaining to this type of post, but it doesn’t make it go away. Many of you don’t want to fathom the thought or accept the fact that parents are molesting, raping, and killing their children. We also know grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles, aunties, cousins, friends, others who are supposed to be protecting them are touching children. As I’ve said over and over again, you don’t have to take my word for it, please research it for yourself. I stand for reality and truth. It’s not a figment of my imagination it’s really happening. I’m not afraid to speak or stand on the truth; regardless of how ugly it may be. A lot of children are harmed, because people don’t want to believe the unimaginable. Well it exists. It’s happening around us and to our families.

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to  ask your children questions about their private parts, etc. Make sure they know it’s safe and completely okay to tell you what’s going on. Always tell them if someone says it’s a secret for your child to tell you anyway. Teach your child what inappropriate behavior is when it comes to others and how it’s NOT okay for someone to touch them inappropriately.

As for older children (teenagers). Talk to your sons and daughters about the reality of it all. Some parents are too embarrassed, but it’s a conversation that needs to take place. Children are being taken advantaged of in the school, at camps, in the churches, etc. etc. It’s happening by individuals you entrust to care for your children while they’re in their care.

CONCLUSION

I’m not going to go on and on, but I will say this; the things happening to our children today is a travesty. There are so many sick grown people in this world who looks at children in ways they shouldn’t. They’re all around us and it’s why we must stop holding our heads in the sand in disbelief. It happens every single day and it’s happening somewhere as I type this very post.

We wonder why our children are killing themselves, getting drugged out, and all sorts of things. It’s because of what they’re being exposed to. Some have no guidance at all. I realize we all were children once upon a time and some of you probably went through being molested and raped. As adults you must protect children from the VERY thing that happened to some of you. Unfortunately some people turn around and do to children the EXACT same thing that happened to them. Why? Because many although now adults still choose to be stuck in the victim mode. They keep re-living their past experiences and therefore they afflict pain upon children around them. They are individuals who are dealing with unresolved issues. There need to be tougher and better laws of protection for children of today.

We must join together to better protect our children from hurt, harm, and danger. This doesn’t always pertain to sexual or physical abuse. It’s through manipulation, coercion, scams, by others. It also involves protecting them from embracing others and things that could influence and lead them down roads of destruction (gangs, drugs etc). We do this by being good mentors who lead by example.

I’m praying for this world, seems like people all over the world are doing the unthinkable when it comes to our children. Join me in prayer, that this world turn from it’s wicked ways!

 

FOR YOUR VIEWING:

(http://news.msn.com/crime-justice/dozens-charged-in-new-york-city-child-porn-case#tscptme

http://www.911jobforums.com/f66/parents-charged-sexual-molestation-taking-porno-pics-their-own-children-13977/

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/04/08/tae-kwon-do-instructor-charged-with-molesting-8-year-old-student/

http://www.kvoa.com/news/parents-arrested-for-molesting-their-own-kids/

http://www.childmolestationprevention.org/pages/tell_others_the_facts.html

article.wn.com/view/2012/12/04/Grandpa accused of molesting grandkids

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?id=9482664

https://au.news.yahoo.com/nsw/a/15371303/teachers-charged-with-child-sex-abuse/

http://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ454481

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/03/natalie-webb-sexual-abuse_n_4536569.html

http://www.saltlakecriminaldefense.com/2012/01/utah-grandpa-sexual-abuse/

http://www.deborahkingcenter.com/resources/abuse/

THIS IS REAL, I DON’T JUST MAKE IT UP. IT MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU WANT TO READ ABOUT, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT LESS REAL. SINCE I’VE WRITTEN THAT MORE TEACHERS HAVE BEEN CHARGED.

SCENARIO’S (IT’S NO SECRET, YOU ALREADY KNEW)

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I bet many of you can relate to this post. Many of you are with or have been with individuals who knew you were EXACTLY how you are; yet they chose to be with you DESPITE of. They thought their love for you would somehow change you or save you from yourself. Now they have you and they can’t seem to stand you because of what they already knew. Most times they CLAIM they didn’t know. It’s no trick. They knew, but they were so in love until they decided of their own freewill to over look THE TRUTH. Which side of the coin are you? Did you get with someone despite of or did someone get with you despite of?

Many relationships suffer from issues individuals chose to accept in the courting phase. These issues go from the courting phase into the serious phase and on into marriages. It has happened forever, because people go entirely TOO MUCH by what they’re feeling instead of on the truth. They allow the feelings of their hearts to get them into relationships they later find they really didn’t want. People only realize the truth AFTER they open their eyes to the truth.

Scenario #1 Some women get married and their men love how strong and independent they are. They love their fire and passion for life, love, and standing firming on what they believe. A lot of these women are more assertive than their men and in the beginning the men love it. The men feel they have a good catch. For this post; the men with these women are passive and lack the initative of their women. Basically, in their relationships these women wear the pants so to speak. It was all good until the men come to the realization this is their reality. They also realize what their relationships are built on isn’t what will keep it together. They begin to loathe their women. Resentment and regret sets in on both sides. He sees her as pushy and controlling, she sees him as too passive, etc..etc. In this message I particularly stated women, but make no mistake; it goes both ways. Does this sound familiar? Both knew the truth, but chose to ignore it.

Scenario #2 You were very aware they had the tendency to sleep around, but you thought sex with you was out of this world and so unique that it’s enough to change him or her. Unfortunately by accepting their ways you found out it had no impact on them changing. Basically it showed them WHO YOU WERE and how they could treat you. He or she continued the same pattern, because by accepting it early on you let them know it was okay. The same thing you accepted in the beginning is what you will end up with. Now all you do is give him or her the blues about their indiscretions. Yet you already knew they were this way. Now that you got what you thought you wanted you find it’s not what you wanted after all.

Scenario #3 He or she treated you like crap before you got deeper into the relationship. They spoke to you and treated you in ways that were totally disrespectful and often in front of others, but you allowed blind love to lead you to believe they would change. Now after marriage you realize this is part of who they are and in fact things has gotten worse. This happens to so many couples. Anytime you accept crap from the start, it’s indeed what you’ll end up with.

Scenario #4 Being disrespected is bad enough, but many of you have also accepted abuse. You went on to exchange vows with someone you knew were already abusing you. They’ve verbally, physically, emotionally, etc abused you prior to marriage. You thought they would change, you pray they will change, you love them, but change doesn’t happen. These types of individuals become far worse than you ever imagined. The signs were there, but you chose to ignore them. Love isn’t blind at all, people are blind when it comes to love or what they think is love.

Scenario #5 He or she didn’t have as my mom would say back in the day “two pennies to rub together or anything to call their own.” Yet, you were so in love and infactuated with the idea of being in love you accepted them just the way they were. They were unmotivated and lazy, BUT they were so cute and good in bed. MISTAKE! Now you’re married and you’re tired and regretful, because they STILL won’t lift a finger to help out and now you cringe at the thought of sex with them. Holding down the household is all on you (no surprise, nothing changed) and it’s wearing you down and out. In the beginning you completely ignored this truth. Now you’re stuck with EXACTLY what you started out with.

Scenario 6 He or she had the player mentality. They flirted with anyone who seemed to enjoy it. They gawked at anyone they thought looked good (totally disrespecting you no matter where they were or who they were around). Although it used to get you upset, you accepted the behavior, because it was your man/woman and you loved them so much. You figured they were teasing, meant no harm, and you thought they would change. People must stop allowing others to do them any kind of way, because it’s exactly what will happen. Now you’re with someone you don’t trust and who you’re miserable and unhappy with. Some of you even feel it’s okay as long as they come home UNTIL you marry them. Then all of a sudden you tired of their behavior. Well, their behavior is something you shouldn’t ever accepted.

Scenario #7 The in laws can’t seem to keep their noses out of your affairs. Someone always has something to say. You may or may not say anything, because you love your significant other. The meddling causes arguments between the two of you, because your significant other won’t say anything their family. This scenario closely relates to people who are with momma boys and daddy girls or other family members they constantly allow in their relationship. A lot of relationships deal with this issue. Things like this has to be “nipped in the bud”, if not it will continue to cause disturbances in relationships. Some in laws are ruthless and if couples aren’t on one accord this can ruin relationships. It doesn’t only apply to in laws it applies to EX’S, and others. Everyone and I do mean everyone; should be put in their respectable places. It matters none IF your significant other has children by another person, NO ONE outside of the marital union should be an obstacle to you having a healthy relationship. If you take it from the start, you’re asking for things I guarantee you that you will come to dislike.

In, conclusion I seriously could go on for days on this one, because there are so many topics that comes into play. What I’m trying to say to you is STOP giving so much of yourselves yet getting nothing in return. Too many of you settle for crap in thinking it will change. Most likely it won’t. You’re no savior you can’t save anyone from their issues they have locked inside and allowing to ruin their lives. You can’t change anyone. An individual must want to change for his or herself. If you start a relationship taking foolishness from the other person BEFORE marriage. Guess what? It’s exactly what you will end up with.

You have to first know, love, and know how to treat yourself before you can love anyone else or truly know what kind of treatment is acceptable. If you get into relatioships for all of the wrong reasons or on feelings of emotions you will have some real tough issues on your hand.

I will say again, “the ONLY person you can change is you.” Looks, money, sex, position, status, what you have or what you can offer WILL not make another person be in love with you, treat you right, or make them change. If you show them it’s okay to treat you like crap, THEY WILL DO JUST THAT! If you don’t love yourself then crap is what you’ll accept because you won’t feel you deserve anything better. It’s not true!. It only means you have hings you need to work out within yourself, before you go falling in love with someone.

It’s so sad to see how many people are in horrible relationships when there were signs in EVERY one of them in the beginning showing the truth. People ignore the truth for many reasons. Being blind by love is only an EXCUSE! Today is the time for change, because remember; today is really all you have (right now).

Most relationships end the same way they start. What I mean is this; if a person was beat on, cheated on, or whatever; oftentimes it’s the same problem only intensified that will end the relationship. When I say end it doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. It can mean they’re still living together but yet completely separate. Unfortunately some of these relationships end in death, loss of mental peace, etc..etc.

Remember; this is the sugarfreeden, I’m not here to sugarcoat reality. I’ve known too many to have died in bad situations, because it is what they accepted in the beginning. I’ve known others to commit suicide or harm themselves due to stress added on to their own personal issues they’re dealing with.

People must accept the truth for what it is. Anytime you get into a relationship if you DON’T honestly look at the whole picture you will miss a lot. You will let a lot go, because you’re so into the other person. IF you do this, it is you who has issues you need to deal with. Step back and re-evaluate yourself. You deserve better for yourself and from anyone who is supposed to love you back. Your significant other will ALWAYS show you the truth by how they treat you. If you don’t accept the truth, IT’S NO ONE’S FAULT BUT YOURS!