This is long, but I feel it needs to be written. It saddens my heart how people want to tip toe around this subject. Many people don’t want to address this subject. I will!! I know a lot of people won’t like it, that’s okay too! I’m tired of hearing about these terrible acts committed on children. People need to be accountable and they need to deal with their demons.
We all come in this world as babies who develop into adults and if we live; on into old age. Our upbringings differ, yet many will and have dealt with similar issues. If a person doesn’t deal with the things affecting them those things will follow and affect them throughout the rest of their lives. People can choose to change or remain the same. I know things can affect us which can be life altering; however, it doesn’t mean we have to turn into negative people! For those who’ve dealt with sexual abuse it doesn’t give ANYONE a free ticket to victimize others. No matter what; what we choose to become is a personal choice! Not every person who sexually victimize others were victims of sexual abuse. I believe most have been, but not all. Some people commit the act due to other negative things they’ve encountered when they were young causing them to adopt the negative behaviors.
We are supposed to protect our children, but the fact of the matter many parents fail to. Some parents do it intentionally, while some don’t. What I mean is this. There are many parents who allow terrible things to happen to their children, because of the people they are in relationships with. They are led by their feelings and emotions and because of it, are blind to reality. They put their children in harms way. Some children are molested, raped, physically abused, emotionally abused, verbally abused, and even killed, because parents are more concerned about self gratification then for their children who depend on them. Some of these parents sell their children, they allow all types of abuse, they themselves partake in acts against their children. They do it, because they are in what they think is love and they think it’s more important than the welfare and wellbeing of their children! They’ll do anything to be with the person they think they love, even if it means causing harm to their children. These people (the perps and the parent/s) are individuals who have baggage they’ve lugged around for a lifetime. They’ve allowed it to affect many facets of their lives.
Parents who unintentionally fail their children are those who send their kids unknowingly into the hands of predators. They are parents who don’t suspect others to do something so vile. Let me tell you, it can be ANYONE! Friends do it, friends of the family do it, family members do it (sisters, brothers, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents), parents do it, teachers, preachers, police officers, doctors, nurses, politicians, celebrities, NO ONE is exempt etc. They come from all walks of life!
Parents please talk to your children and educate them on this topic. Let your children feel comfortable with talking and let them know it’s okay to tell. Let them know the tricks people can subtly play to groom them (playfully playing around and touching them in places they shouldn’t acting as if it’s a game, doing nice things for them, setting them up where they can be alone with them acting as if they are looking out for them, making them think they’re friends, etc). Let them know the things people will tell them to keep them quiet (verbal threats to blame them, threats of harm to them or someone else, they will tell them things to twist it and make it seems as if the child will be in trouble, telling them no one will believe the child, telling them it’s their special secret and for them not to tell anyone, making the child believe they will be taken from their parents, etc). Let them know they should ALWAYS tell, no matter what the person says and no matter who the person is! Let them know it is NOT their fault!
Parents must open their eyes! Stop ignoring signs pretending they don’t exist. It does nothing to protect your children. Stop making children feel they are to blame. Stop doubting your child because of who they are accusing. It does nothing to help your children. It causes trust issues in your child; making them feel unsafe and unprotected. It makes them afraid to talk/tell. Any inappropriate behavior is dead wrong and should never ever be tolerated!
Women need to be careful the interaction between their children and whomever they are with. A lot of what’s going on is inappropriate. Stop leaving your children with those nasty men who cause them harm. Stop pretending you don’t see it! There are always signs! Predators are manipulative, cunning, and they do things in subtle ways to gain the trust of their intended victims. The whole while they are grooming them to get what they want. Most times people don’t suspect them because they are good at manipulation. They can be very believable! It’s a trick of manipulation, lies, and deception. They blend in and they do what they have to in order to get what they want and it’s premediated! It is something they’ve mulled over many times.
Our world is filled with broken souls, because of neglect, lack of nurturing, lack of love, lack of protection, lack of parenting, physical-sexual-emotional abuse, etc. etc. It happens in their homes or homes of friends or family, in relationships, in church, in schools, at the doctors, and many other places. People commit these crimes because at some point many were victims of sexual abuse. Still, it’s NO excuse to continue this terrible vicious cycle. It’s the last thing a person should do, yet many will victimize.
Talk to your children and ask questions. I don’t care who the other person/people are; ask questions! Stop thinking certain people are okay. Just because you love a person doesn’t mean they mean you or your children any good. A lot of times men want to get to women to get to their children. Women have to open their eyes to this truth! I’m sure some women do the same.
I’m not saying all men are this way, but some are. It’s pretty clear; if women will accept the truth as it presents itself. Instead many will downplay things and some will even blame the child. Women who do this have obvious issues and because they fail to acknowledge and face those issues, it leads to a lifetime of problems for them, spilling into the lives of their children.
Never love someone to the point of ignoring what is happening to your child. Never love someone to the point your child’s safety and welfare are neglected. Never love someone to the point you’re upset with your child over the inappropriate actions of a grown person. Never love the thought of being in love to a point you’re not being a parent to your child. Stop making it all about you and what you want. You should be the protector of your child!
Some people get on social media and meet people who end up being abusive to them and their children. Some have criminal histories involving sex offenses, yet some women allow them into their lives. Some have histories of physical abuse, yet some women will still allow them into their lives. No one all of a sudden changes into a monster, they were already that way! People choose to ignore the truth! Unfortunately many children have died because of it and many are abused in all types of ways.
Any adult male or female who touches a child inappropriately or have thoughts of it are completely sick minded. It’s even worst when the perpetrator is the parent. It happens a lot in families, the cycle keeps going. It’s sad!! There are too many men and women giving it away for free for individuals to touch babies and underage children. More than likely people who offend were sexually abused in some form as a child. Instead of dealing with it and healing from it many people continue the cycle of abuse. Although once victims these very people now choose to victimize. These perps do to children the very things done to them. It’s a sad disgusting shame!! I sympathize with anyone who was sexually abused but it is NOT a reason to do it to someone else. It’s an excuse, one that doesn’t work!
Sexual predators comes in all forms. They are of all races, genders, ages, populations, cultures, etc. They are from all calibers of life from what society deems as the highest status on down to the lowest. Many have lots of money and others don’t. Some have power, status, titles and others don’t. They are embedded in EVERY professional position existing on this earth! Sad, isn’t it? Yes it is, but it’s the truth! They will get into situations and positions where they know they will have access to the children they want to victimize. They do it intentionally. They wiggle their nasty ways into the lives of children until they are comfortable enough to do to them what they intend to do. It is premeditated!
It’s sad to say, but people have to be careful about putting their children’s pictures on social media. I have seen pictures that are borderline inappropriate which is something predators love to see. There are a lot of sick individuals who solicit pictures of infants and young children. It is the sick minded people in the world today. They make it unsafe for our children. Predators are on the prowl twenty four hours a day, everyday! Be careful. Also, know what your children are doing on the internet and who they are engaging with! Please stop putting pictures out there for these predators to see. Many of these people will get with you, to get next to your children. It is a fact! I have sat across from both perps and victims the stories are the same or similar, but it’s just different faces telling the stories. People need help with their demons. If they don’t face them, they give power to them!
Society says sexual predators can’t be reformed. Personally I don’t believe it. This is why I’ve worked with both. These people need help as well as the victims. I believe ANY person can stop doing ANYTHING if they choose to. It is up to the individual. People aren’t born that way, they learn to be that way. Anything learned can be unlearned. The more people submerge themselves into negative thoughts the more power they give to those thoughts. Thoughts causes the feelings, which influences the actions. These types of people know when their thoughts, feelings, and actions are wrong, yet they still follow through with them. They lie and connive their ways into the lives of the children. They do it for so long they get comfortable with what they have become(a monster)!
Lastly, sexual predators don’t always only abuse children they also try it on grown men and women. There’s nothing in this world worth a person allowing his or herself to be abused to obtain ANYTHING (money, promotion, status, title, material things, etc). Remember, YOU teach people how to treat you and they will treat you exactly how you allow (this is strictly pertaining to grown folks). I don’t care who the perpetrator is or their position! If someone is inappropriate don’t go along with it and don’t keep your mouth shut about it. Nip it in the bud asap! If you don’t you’re letting a sexual predator continue their cycle of abuse; which means the next time a child could be the target.