Can’t Help Who You Love Is A Lie And An Excuse


That’s right! It is an excuse and a big fat lie that has gotten many people in terrible situations. If a person can’t help who they love they have no self control. We definitely have the ability to control our feelings and emotions if we choose to. Many people don’t think they can and it’s because of their mindsets.

There are a lot of people who’ve gotten into relationships with people who should be off limits, period! People such as relatives, friend’s significant others, married individuals, single individuals who are in relationships already, underage individuals, and those you have authority over (on jobs, in the schools, churches, etc).

When individuals want to be with someone they don’t care who it is, how wrong it is, or perhaps how dangerous it may be or become. All they want is to be with who they want. I’ve written it and spoken about it a million times. The reason people do this is because of the flesh. They want what they want at any and all costs! They’re led solely by their wrong ways of thinking, feelings, and emotions. All they can see is who they want and that’s it, because they are seeing through eyes blind by their feelings.

The main reason people are this way is they have a lot of unresolved issues and the most important one is no self love. They seek love or something in others, because they lack it in self. I know some people may feel otherwise, but it’s the truth. Think about it; if you really love yourself the last thing you want to do is cause yourself problems leading to more heartache and pain. You wouldn’t want to cause yourself unnecessary problems with some possibly leading to serious legal issues. People do this when they involve themselves with people they shouldn’t be with. Some may lead to legal issues while all lead to headaches, heartaches, and pain!

To want someone or to fall in love is all based on thoughts and feelings despite how you get to that point. You don’t start having feelings unless they have been created and fueled by your thoughts. This is true in every situation possible NOT just in relationships. When a person really wants someone they start having major thoughts of them. The more they do then along comes the feelings. People give way too much power to their thoughts and it causes them major issues.

When you love yourself it took growth and maturity to get to that point. It took a lot of hard knocks through experiences. However, once you’re at that point there’s usually no turning back! It takes growth and maturity to walk away from the wrong people and the wrong situations. You see beyond your feelings! If you are attracted in anyway to the wrong person you know to get those feelings in check quickly and you will. You have the power to do the right thing if doing the right thing is what you choose. There are always consequences when you choose bad choices and decisions!

This is only “food for thought.”

Staying Yet Straying


Okay, here I go again. It is up to each individual as to what they choose in their relationships. However; you ARE to blame for what you allow. You’re to blame for what you accept and put up with. No one can do to you more than you allow. People allow much unnecessary drama in the name of love when love has nothing at all to do with it. Love isn’t those things a lot of people claim it to be.

People who stray outside of their relationships don’t do it because of the person their cheating on. Yes sometimes that person is a problem, but the real reason a person strays is due to their own inner issues. Some people make all of the excuses in their world, but at the end of the day, they cheat, because they want to.

If you stray it’s no one’s decision to do it, but yours. If you stay after he or she strays it’s no one’s decision, but yours to do it. People stray for many reasons, but the fact of the matter is those reasons are all excuses. People cheat because they want to and them wanting to come from other underlined unresolved issues. People stay for the same reason. People who stay give excuses as to why, however truth be told their reasons all boils down to what’s going on inside of them. This is normally due to long ago unresolved issues. People seek love no matter the consequences; which is a sad thing!

I’m all for people remaining together. However, only in healthy relationships! Anyone who stays in an unhealthy relationship must look at the man/woman in the mirror and figure out why. Anyone who’s cheating on their significant other must do the same. Facing inner issues is detrimental in being able to grow into mature adults.

Society is full of tainted and broken people filled with toxicities of their pasts. When people don’t deal with their issues it affects every facet of their lives (relationships, jobs, decisions, choices, health, etc). People embed themselves into all types of positions only to have their demons surface to the top and ruin their opportunities. People get into relationships with clear indications it’s bad from the start only to allow their demons and their significant others demons to rise up and interfere with the relationship.

“The blind can’t lead the blind, unless they both fall in the ditch.” You can’t save anyone and no one can save you! You can’t change anyone and no one can change you. As I will continue to say; families, friends, and significant others may motivate, inspire, or influence you, but the decision to be saved or change falls on the individual who needs it. People think their love making skills, cooking, material things, looks, statuses, titles; may influence a person to change. NOT necessarily!! Even if a person changes due to some type of influence if they don’t change because they feel a need to change the change will not be lasting. It will ONLY be temporary to appease the other person or the situation. The same issues will come up again and again.

Every last one of us can put on facades pretending to be this or that, but every single time something will show the truth. It may be subtle, but nevertheless the truth will always present. Who a person try to hide and who a person is are different for immature people who think they are mature. Those who pretend to be one way yet knowing they’re another show the true signs at some point. It is shown through their actions, decisions, choices, etc. It NEVER fails! We can run, change locations, change jobs, hide, deceive, pretend, disguise, put on facades. However, we can’t EVER run or hide from the truth. We can’t run or hide from self! The truth lies within!! Unless a person resolve their issues they will NOT mature to be the people they’re destined to be.

A cheater will cheat until he or she decides to deal with the inner man or woman and come to the conclusion they are better than that. They are never satisfied with who they have, because they don’t truly love self, due to their inner issues. They choose not to be faithful and loyal to no one, because they can’t be faithful or loyal to self. They are immature in their thinking and for them it’s about gratification of the flesh (physical body, their eyes, material things, statuses, etc).

A person will stay in an unhealthy relationship (cheated on, beat on, disrespected, mistreated in all forms), until they deal with the inner man or woman and decide they deserve better; which starts with loving self. It’s always up the individual. You, you, and I! Every last one of us willfully choose what we allow into our lives. We can make excuses, but what we choose falls on us individually.