Your Feelings Are In Your Way


I talk about self love a lot. It is absolutely necessary, because without it people subject themselves to unnecessary drama. Most times their focus is seeking love at all cost. They are too blind to see the price is too high. When individuals don’t love self it obscures their view of love, because they don’t understand what it is. If a person doesn’t know what love is then they won’t know what love isn’t.

The reason people can’t see past their feelings is because their feelings is what is most important to them despite the hurt it causes. People who don’t love self are always led by their feelings. They seek what they want, which is never really what they need. They don’t understand there is a difference between the two.

If individuals would put as much energy into loving self as they do to being loved by someone their lives would be quite different. The truth hurts, but love shouldn’t ever hurt. The reason the truth hurts is because it strikes a cord. People don’t like it when their toes/feet are stepped on. It hurts! The truth is if you don’t love yourself trying to love someone else will only intensify and magnify your own issues. I’ve found that people try harder to fix and save the one they love versus dealing with their own issues. This does nothing but compile the issues of the significant other with their own; making an even bigger mess of things. This is an unhealthy relationship, but normally due to the inability to see past their feelings individuals fail to see this truth. They think they’re in love and because of it will go through all types of dsyfunction.

Most people are led by their feelings. They will do anything to be with who they want to be with despite the treatment they may encounter. People will always treat you exactly how you allow them to treat you. They will take you completely for granted if it’s what you allow. People don’t understand their worth or value when they don’t love self. All they care about is going after and getting who they want. This is because when you’re led by your feelings it prevents you from thinking clearly.

Many people find it difficult to love self because they often feel their not worthy. This mindset comes from previous experiences they never healed from. They seek all of the things they lack in self (love, security, confidence, strength, happiness, etc). It is all a part of their quest for love. It causes them to accept almost anything in their relationships.

Love starts with self. When a person learns to love self it opens their eyes to the truth. It teaches them to see past their feelings and emotions. It teaches them to use their brains to avoid bad relationships before they begin.

Love isn’t love if you first don’t love yourself. It’s not love when it’s unhealthy, when it’s forced, when it’s based solely on feelings, when its abusive in any manner, when it’s possessive-obsessive, or controlling, etc. Unfortunately individuals who are led by their feelings won’t understand this truth. They only see what they want until it’s too late.

Your Fears Are Limiting You


Many people find themselves stuck due to their own fears. Granted this came from something they’ve gone through, but the fact remains fear will stagnate you! Many people won’t take a chance on anything due to fear. Your mind can be your worst enemy and unfortunately it is just that for many people. Fear can be crippling emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Some people have the desire to move forward, but their states of mind keeps them stuck without the ability to move forward. They are afraid of change. They live their lives without ever living. They are merely existing. They have no time to do anything other than work. When a person don’t work, they get stuck in that mode and they don’t try to become dependent. They get comfortable asking others for whatever they need. Then when become are tired of them they are upset. I say get upset at yourself, then forgive yourself and move forward.

No one is throwing any money at you unless you’re on a stripper pole. Other than that forget it! You have to get out there and work for what you need. The Bible says “a man who doesn’t work doesn’t eat!” I blame a lot of the mindset on how people give power to their pasts. I realize the past can influence us, however, we don’t have to allow it to define or dictate who we become. We all have the ability to change negative mindsets.

Many people are held prisoner to their own ways of thinking. They can’t get past how they think, feel, and act. They allow their negative mindsets to sabotage their lives. They choose life sentences due their pasts. They allow negativity as a way to live in this society. It won’t work! It doesn’t work! This negative mindset does nothing other than cause dsyfunction in the lives of many.

People are stuck for many reasons, but the bottom line of it all points at the individual. If you make your past your life sentence, then it is exactly what it will become. If you allow your fears to cripple and stagnate you they will do just that!

If people spent as much time dwelling on the here and now versus the once was their lives would be much better. People waste most of their lives hating self. They waste all of their time unable to move from point A to B. They give their power to everything and everyone! They lack self love, confidence, and esteem. They blame it all on something or someone from their pasts. It makes no sense, especially when some of the people are dead and gone.

Let me share something with you. Coming up my mom didn’t teach me about succeeding, wanting more, setting goals, college, etc. She taught me what she knew about. She taught me self respect, confidence, respect for others, self love, etc. Everything I learnt about moving forward I learned on my own through watching others achieve. I knew even as a young child without my mom instilling it that I wanted more. Despite things I’ve gone through I never allowed it to hinder my growth. You know why? It’s because there’s something positive to come out of any situation. Every single thing we experience holds something to learn.
I realized if I chose unhappiness and the lack of motivation it was all on me. Therefore I made the conscious decision early in life to do things differently and I did. We all can do it, it’s up to each person individually.

We can blame everything on our pasts if we choose. It will do nothing to help us to move forward in life. It doesn’t do a thing to pull you out of where you are. A negative mindset will keep you in a dark cold place. It will keep you stuck going nowhere fast! If you don’t believe you can; then you won’t! If you give power to your fears, they will cripple you and keep you right where you are! You can only fly as high as you limit yourself. Your fears limit you, period! Start speaking to your negative thoughts and replacing that junk with positive ones. When your conscious mind says one thing you tell it another. We are programmed to take in way more negative than positive. You must change this. Start seeing the good in all things, but above all please start with yourself!

Dark Hearts and Minds


Our world is full of darkness. People are broken which allows demons to enter and most don’t even know what’s going on. They are doing all kinds of things. They’re seeking love in all the wrong ways, for all the wrong reasons, and with all the wrong people. They are physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusing children (pehedophiles, sex offenders, perpetrators, porn, trafficking). They are killing themselves with drugs and alcohol. They are sexually abusing animals. They are killing for no reason (friends, loved ones, children, parents, and others). They are full of anger and rage. They are full of fear, depressed, full of anxiety, suicidal, and homicidal. They lack self esteem, confidence, motivation, and are co dependent. They don’t take responsibility for who they’ve become and are masters at the blame game! They lack self love, happiness, joy, or peace. They idolize all kinds of things and people. They believe right is wrong and wrong is right. They live sexually immoral lives. They have no conviction, they seek self gratification. What they feel, want, and desire is what constantly leads them into bad situations with the wrong people. Many are followers and not leaders. People have lost their abilities to love; hearts are cold. Many are held captive by their own ways of thinking due to their mental states of mind. It’s not mental illness it’s mental states of mind which could lead to some forms of mental illnesses. I could go on and on.

All of it comes from some form of brokenness. People can choose to remain the same or they can choose change. It’s up to the individual. Many would rather remain the same because it’s familiar. It’s easier for a person to hold on to what’s keeping them down then to change. People are so familiar with their dysfunctional ways it’s normal to them. Their ways wreaks havoc in their lives, yet they stay on the same paths.

Brokenness stays where it is until it’s dealt with. It ruins lives and causes chaos. Until people take responsibility of who they’ve become they don’t allow the option for change. Blaming others for who’ve you become isn’t beneficial at all. It keeps people stuck in their old ways.

People don’t understand they allow for darkness to overtake them when they continue to stay where they are. It makes rooms for entities to come into your lives. Demons are real. Anytime a person is living in darkness it’s giving power to that darkness. Adults are living these dysfunctional lifestyles and then carrying it into the lives of their children.

People must take off the blinders before change can ever occur. They can’t do it until they face who they’ve become and deal with the mess inside. Change happens only once you make the choice to change. Come out of the darkness into the light!

Loving You and Your Flaws


Unfortunately a lot of people hate how they look, however the problem is deeper than that! I think we all have something we may want to improve, but this post is referring to people who don’t like what they see to a point of surgery, etc. This goes deeper than just wanting to lose fat or tighten up an area.

It doesn’t matter how pretty, not so pretty, famous, non famous, rich, not rich, titles, positions, statuses, etc, concerning a person; none of it will make a person love self. That is what it boils down to; self love. I can’t make you love yourself and neither can anyone else. It’s all on you, the individual. I do pray that I can help you to see things differently in how you see yourselves.

No one is perfect in how they look, we all have flaws, we all have something we would like to be different. However, when people go to the extreme of getting their faces cut on, implants in their faces/butts/chest/breast/eyes, etc then something is going on inside. Something is wrong on the inside that needs to be resolved. Until people deal with the inner parts of them they will remain unhappy and without the ability to love self.

I’ve seen many good looking people go under the knife and mess themselves up completely and sometimes it’s to a point of being irreversible. People hate themselves so much they would rather try to look like someone else then self. They hate self so much they’d rather add something or cut something off to look what they think is more appealing. This is a huge red flag something is wrong within.

People get boob jobs, breast implants for men to get bigger pecs, butt implants, face implants to plump up their cheeks, stomach implants for six packs, etc. Okay, you do what you want, but remember foreign things in your body in places it shouldn’t be in is never a good thing. Oftentimes later in life people start having affects from those things. There have been some cases where individuals have gotten infections and died or they died during surgeries.

People are now going to the extreme of getting their eye color changed. It’s crazy and all of its a risk, but people do anything in the name of what they think is beauty or in the name of what they think society says is beautiful. Sad, sad, sad!

People who are risking their lives doing these types of things need to look at who’s facing them in the mirror and deal with that person. Guess what? You can have all the nips, tucks, lifts, implants, etc that you want to have; it WILL NOT change what’s inside. It changes the appearance, but the junk inside will remain. Sometimes people end up hating themselves even more because they hate the results.

I feel sorry for people who feel they need plastic surgery to feel good about self. It’s a figment of their imaginations. Anyone who does this is most often concerned with what the world thinks of them. They are concerned with what other people see when they look at them.

You can change the outer appearance it won’t change what’s inside of you. It may make you feel good about how you look, but it won’t change why you don’t like yourself in the first place. To love yourself means accepting yourself with all of your flaws and imperfections. If you have a flat butt so what? If your face isn’t full as you want so what? If your chest is flat, so what? So on and so on, it is who you are! Adding things or taking things away doesn’t make you who you are unless you’re defined by it and if you are there is something wrong with that!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You may be good looking to one person and not to another. You may be good looking on the outside, but because you’re so ugly inside it makes you appear not so good looking. None of it matters you be your own beholder of your beauty and that starts with you! To do all of the things people are doing to their bodies is crazy. People have lost their lives going under the knife. Remember, anything foreign in your body can eventually start causing you problems. Another thought to ponder is, you’re not authentic when you do it. What you’re presenting once the procedure/s is/are done is still something fake. Afterwards, you may feel good about it or you may not. Regardless of which it’s still not the true you! I know some people have to be disappointed afterwards, because some people look absolutely ridiculous.

In case you didn’t know; even if you’re a model your body doesn’t define who you are. It doesn’t define you unless you’re fixated on it. People are fixated on their bodies due to inner issues. They try to fix the outside when it’s the inside they should be working on.

Do what you want if you think it will make you happy. Let me tell you this; happiness isn’t in the butt, chest, pecs, boobs, face, eyes, etc. It’s within you. You either have it or not! It can not be bought or made. People have life so misconstrued. Most people so worried about how they look to the world they will do anything for the world to look at them. Clear to me they are unhappy people. Drama, chaos, and dysfunction always follow them due to their unhappiness. Most people who are this way always are trying to remain relevant, become relevant, or to be or stay in the spot light at all cost. They may pretend to be happy, but the truth is the truth and it shows in what they do!

Love you for you and NOT for what the world thinks of you! Stop allowing the world to decide for you how you should look. If people don’t like how you look they don’t have to look at you. If you don’t love yourself you will NEVER be able to accept your flaws and imperfections! When you learn to love yourself you will also learn to accept your flaws and imperfections. No one is perfect. I don’t care what you get done to yourself you will never be perfect. Learn to love yourself regardless of what or who! When you love you what others think will NOT matter!

Anything To Get You


Millions of people are seeking love and many other things from others, which often leaves them more broken than before. What people fail to understand is there are just as many people out there who are also broken and they happen to be the individuals hurt people are getting with. Hurt people are getting into relationships with other hurt people, because both parties are seeking something they desire or want. It all leads to more dysfunction and chaos.

Sometimes a person is legitimately honest about how they feel, BUT those feelings comes from brokenness therefore those feelings often leads people into bad situations and relationships. It often leads them into relationships with other broken people who haven’t dealt with their inner issues as well. Those individuals sometimes have entirely different agendas due to anger, bitterness, jealousy, envy, etc

When a person lacks self esteem and confidence it puts them in a vulnerable state of mind where they are often misused, abused, and taken for granted. Believe it or not another person can tell if you’re vulnerable by how you allow certain things to happen. They can tell by how you go along with things and by what you accept. You show them who you are by how you act. They know you’re led by your feelings and emotions therefore it’s exactly what they will play on.

Unfortunately some people are too blind to see this truth. They are focused on what they desire and want until their feelings override their ability to see the truth. Many people find themselves in unhealthy relationships over and over yet they never break the cycle. They can read a million books, blogs, go to therapy, see or hear about unhealthy relationships, yet they still gravitate towards one. Why? It’s because of what’s inside of self.

You can’t grow and remain where you are. Growth brings about change. Many people believe since they are older they are mature. It’s not true! Some people stunt their growth by their inability to move past bad events and experiences. They’re stagnated by their own mental states. All of it comes from a bad place within. It’s a bad place because it’s where unresolved issues dwell. If people don’t deal with their issues they’re carried for a lifetime. Those things affect all aspects of a person’s life.

When individuals fall in what they think is love they normally move according to how they feel, what they want, and desire. They believe whatever is told to them, because they can’t see the truth. They can’t see they are being groomed and woo’ed into submission. They hear and see what they want. Everyone around can see the truth except the individual going through it. They only get enough from their significant others to be reeled in. They are like bait on a fishing pole!

People think it’s love when they are told by their significant others what to wear, where they can and can’t go, who they can be around, etc. They make themselves available 24/7, but they don’t have availability to the other person. They think it’s love when the other person constantly calls or texts them. They think it’s love when the other person only wants them around him or her. When people are led by their feelings they are led by the heart alone. The only way to see what’s in front of you is the heart and mind must be synced. People don’t get to this point without first truly loving self and knowing happiness starts within self.

Sometimes a person would rather have something versus nothing at all. Sad part is what they allude to as something is actually nothing at all. They want it so badly they actually think it’s true love. People accept all types of shenanigans in the name of love. They are blind to the truth despite the truth staring them in the face. This leads to drama, heartbreak, chaos, and dysfunction.

I talk and write about self love and relationships all of the time. My goal is to help someone to understand much of the problems they face in their relationships are due to self. You can’t force anyone to love you nor can you buy love. A person will do and say all of the right things to get you. At the end of the day they’ll always revert to who they really are. Sadly those who are caught up in their feelings will ignore what they see. When you don’t love yourself it prevents you from seeing what you need to see. People put you in positions they want you to be, because they see you’re easily led and your eagerness to be loved. They lead you right where you let them.

No matter what’s going on in your relationship never allow anyone to lay a foundation only you should lay. What I mean by this is when you love yourself you see others for who they are. You see lies and shenanigans from afar. Although you have feelings and emotions you keep them in check. You learn everything that looks good isn’t good for you. You realize looks, money, status, titles, things, etc isn’t what relationships should be based on. Those things don’t keep relationships together. Loving self means you will not put up with any ole thing just to say you have something. Most importantly you won’t fall for tickling of your ears or honeycomb words. You will see the signs and the truth when it stares you in your face.

Life Keeps On Rolling


Sometimes you lose a loved one through death, breakup, or divorce, sometimes you refuse to let go of someone who doesn’t want you; sometimes they die, but you refuse to move on, sometimes although abused and controlled by someone due to inner issues you stay; sometimes despite it being the wrong person and wrong situation you still proceed, etc. I can go on and on. No matter the situation when a person can’t live without another person it’s time to look inward.

Regardless of what; a person must be able to move on. When a person can’t move on there is something inside blocking their ability to do so. Those who cannot move forward has other issues that has caused this inability. Most often this inability occurred long before the relationship.

There are far too many people who depend on their significant others or oftentimes other people and when they are no longer there they aren’t able to function. There have been some people so devastated they take their own lives or at least contemplate it. There are some people who fall into depression because they can’t move on. Then you have those who can’t deal with rejection and they will take the life of the person who they supposedly love/ed.

The first problem is giving your power to others. Depending on others for your happiness is the wrong choice for anyone to make. I think it’s a bad decision to sit back while your life is controlled by someone else. I don’t care who they are, how long you been together, or anything else! It’s foolish! I know people who had losses due to death and they are absolutely dysfunctional. They don’t know how to do anything on their own, because they gave all of the control to their significant other who has now passed away.

Some people give their power because they think it will make their relationships work, they think it’s love. Other times it’s because they have been bamboolzed by someone whose intent is to lure you into giving up control. It’s done subtly and because of it people don’t realize they’re controlled until it’s too late. I’ve spoken to people who are controlled like animals but they still refuse to move on, instead they stay. All of it is due to unresolved inner issues.

If you allow yourself to be controlled you have a problem. You have inside issues affecting your ability to make good decisions and choices. If you’re a person who is doing the controlling, the same goes for you. It’s a big problem whether it’s the taker or the giver. Inner issues must be dealt with in order for people to heal and receive the strength they need to grow and move forward.

A lot of people feel comfortable given their power to others. They think it’s a form of showing love. I will say again this is a bad choice any way you look at it. People treat you how you allow. If you solely depend on someone then how you’re treated is what you’ve allowed. You lay the foundation whether it leads to being controlled, abused, or whatever)! You’re your own problem! One thing you can count on is if you give your power it will be taken.

It’s okay to grieve; whether it’s because someone died or because of a separation or divorce. However, if you can’t function because of it then it is a problem. If you don’t know how to let go you’re your own problem. Life stops for no one, it keeps right on rolling. Those who won’t move on only causes self more unnecessary issues. The fixing starts within. No one can do it for you, only you can do it. People need to work on self before entering into relationships. Show me an unhealthy relationship I’ll show you unhealthy people. Period!

There are a lot of people who think they love self, but their decisions and choices tell the truth! Most have no clue of what love is yet they seek it with passion. People do many things due to brokenness. They don’t deal with past issues in order to heal, grow, and make better choices and decisions. Things won’t change until they do. When you heal it means growth has taken place. However, it cannot happen if people continue to go through the same things over and over never making change an option! These days and times people accept how they are as if it’s how they’re supposed to be; when it’s not! Instead of seeking better they resist change, willfully choosing their unhealthy cycles. They keep finding themselves in the same situations over and over. This will always happen until the discovery of self love is made.

People don’t understand what they do to self when they give others power and control over them. It can be very debilitating, crippling, and sometimes deadly. I’ve seen it time and time again. If I haven’t seen it I’ve at least heard of it. It’s not love! It’s not love for yourself or the other person. People will do to you what you allow. Learn to move on!

The majority of people are afraid to be alone or afraid to start over. Oftentimes it’s both! It’s sad when people don’t realize when they love self the rest doesn’t matter. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying being with someone can’t be a good thing. It can!!! I am saying if its over it’s over! If you love yourself you will understand, but if you’ve given away your power this truth is hard to embrace.

If you’re going to love someone start with yourself! In loving yourself it allows you to see what’s in your face. It allows you to understand your power and control belongs to you and no matter who; you won’t give it away. It allows you the ability to move on with your life if people die or if a breakup occurs. It’s not selfish to love yourself. It’s absolutely necessary!