Change is Necessary

We all can stand changing this or that at some point in our lives. If we don’t change we remain the same and continue trodding down the same paths in life. What’s really sad is most people don’t care how miserably unhappy they are they stay on the same beaten paths. They end up spinning their wheels and going nowhere fast! Most of these individuals are putting everyone and everything first; while neglecting self.

Many people choose to carry their dysfunction around wearing it like a badge of honor. It’s never a good thing to become comfortable with dysfunction. This state of mind prevents individuals from becoming the best they can be. Most times they think everyone else is the problem. People get used to being the way they’ve always been and although they live unhappy lives; they refuse to change.

Sometimes these types of people can get all the help in the world. However, they won’t apply any of it to their lives, because they are comfortable with being the way they’ve always been. To them everyone else is why they are the way they are. They use excuses and they blame others for how they’ve chosen to be. These are some of the hardest people to help. No matter what; they’ll keep going back to their old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting.

Settling for a life filled with dysfunction is a terrible and unfortunate way to live. It’s a state of mind people adopt and embrace normally due to some type of bad experience. Growth and maturity is severely inhibited when people deny themselves the opportunity to get to the next level in life. Some people carry the drama forever. They are constantly living unhappy and unhealthy lives, but they still refuse to make a change.

A lot of people make bad choices and decisions, because of choosing to remain the same. If a person doesn’t deal with what causes the dysfunction it keeps them mentally stuck. Getting to the root cause and dealing with your issues makes a world of difference. Being okay with dysfunction shouldn’t be a choice for anyone. Change only happens when you implement it in your life.

Who/What are you Allowing to Hold You Back

Many individuals are more worried about what others think and say about them rather than what they think and say about self. I promise you if you put more focus on how you feel and think about yourself and truly work through any negativity; your life will change for the better. It’s really sad how most people allow others to put them in such negative mindsets and feeling bad about self. No one defines you! I mean no one unless you give them the power to define you. The reason people get so down when other people say things about them, think negative towards them, or act negative towards them is really because of unresolved inner issues. If a person hasn’t dealt with self they’ll always buy into the negativity of others.

You have to deal with you and get to the root cause of your issues. The only way a person will grow and move forward is by facing what has them in the mindset they’re in. When you deal with your own issues and in the process learn to love yourself no one else will be able to define your life!

Life can be affected by trauma and other experiences, but to what degree depends on the individual going through it. Trauma or no other experience defines a person unless power is given to it! The same way many people allow what they’ve gone through to define them they give people the okay to define them as well. It all goes back to what lies within you/the individual. No one’s life can be the best it can be if you don’t deal with your inner issues. That’s why you see people living the same way, thinking the same, feeling the same, and acting the same. It’s unfortunate!

Many people fake and pretend. That is a seriously dysfunctional way to live! Stop thinking it’s a way to protect yourself or thinking it’s a coping mechanism. It is not! People tend to get very comfortable with their dysfunctional ways regardless of how much it affect their lives. Think about it! If people would care enough about self to want the best for self, their lives would be much better! If they would work on the areas they need to work on in order to grow and move forward in life; everything would be different. Instead of doing this, people allow other individuals and things they go through to define their lives and keep them stuck in negative mindsets.

Some people never choose change. They stay stuck mentally where they are full of self doubt, lack of self worth, chasing love, chasing validation, needing to be a part of someone’s life, etc. They make life more about others than about self. They continue to lack self confidence, self esteem, and self love. Yet they try to be everything to everyone else especially significant others. They continue to worry about people and not care enough about self to make a change for a more positive life. They continue to try to fix, save, and change others, but never self.

Trust and believe anytime people try to bring drama into your life, it’s because they have drama in their own lives. Anytime it’s allowed and accepted its definitely indication of unresolved issues being held inside of you, the individual. When things continue to be the same this is when we all have to sometimes look at self and deal with what keeps us stuck. Allowing yourself to remain the same is neglect!

Never look to someone and think they’re better than you! Never be jealous or envious of what anyone else have; simply strive to gain what you want out of life. Stop holding in anger and allowing it to destroy your life. Stop mistreating yourself because you were once mistreated by someone else or by others. Be better to yourself than others have been to you! Stop selling yourself short and settling, period! Nothing you went through holds you back unless you allow it to. No one has power over you unless you give it up. When you realize you can’t please people and no matter what you do or how much you do; it’s never enough for some people, you’ll learn how to let go and carry on! You have to love yourself more than anything or anyone else and when you do; everything changes. It doesn’t mean you’re pompous, it means you’ve found your peace and self love. Finding it means you will never hold on to things that hold you down or back; that includes people too! Having no inner peace affects every facet of your life! You deserve peace! You deserve to be the best you can possibly be! If you don’t choose change you’ll remain the same!

Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool You

You always hear of people wanting to leave relationships, jobs, schools, etc. I encourage it IF you’re in a situation that’s not good for you. However, some people do things because of selfishness and when they operate this way they end up regretting their choices and decisions. Metaphorically speaking, most people think the grass is greener on the other side. It might be greener, but I guarantee you it will need nourishing, water, sun, and overall taken care of like all grass. Truth is even fake grass has to be cared for in order for it to keep the live look. Basically what I’m saying is stop allowing selfishness to lead you into situations you shouldn’t be in.

Many people think things will be better for them on the other side, but they don’t realize there will be issues on the other side too! If you don’t change you, nothing else matters. You will take your problems straight to the other side with you. You can change locations and relationships all you want, but you’ll still carry you along. You’ll always always deal with similar issues if you fail to deal with yourself! Running to the other side thinking the grass is greener only add to problems.

There are many people who feel others need to change, but they don’t realize it is self who needs to change. People spend years pointing the finger at friends, family, significant others, and other people in general, but fail to accept responsibility for their own actions and for what they allow and accept in their own lives. Instead, for most it’s easier to blame others. People run and hide, but what many folks need to do is take time to deal with self. Nothing ever changes if individuals do not choose to change.

The song “Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool You” is true! It’s not about the green grass it’s about individuals mindsets. People are always moving on how they feel and what they want. This mentality blinds them from the truth. It causes people to commit all types of selfish acts only to be sorry later. Sadly, due to immature mindsets many people mess up good things, because they think everyone else is the problem. Sometimes we don’t know what life will bring us, because things happen unexpectedly. However, when it comes to us making decisions and choices we always know what we’re getting. People will normally not admit to it, but, the signs and red flags always exist. The problem is people ignore the truth that’s right in their faces, because of wanting what they want. When it begins to be too much people can’t handle what they got involved with. Oftentimes they’ll jump ship too soon and for the wrong reasons. This leaves individuals with lots of regret. Again I say “don’t let the green grass fool you!”

If you want change, be willing to make a change! Running won’t do it, because as you know you can run from everything and everyone, but never from yourself. Deal with your issues. Remember no matter where you go or who you’re with grass is grass! Many people don’t get it, because of their mindsets!

What Are You Allowing to Hold You Back

Nothing holds you back unless you allow it. We all have gone through things. We have experienced things on different levels and to different degrees. What sets us apart is how we perceive things, take things in, and how we allow those things to affect us. No one is exempt from trials, tribulations, troubles, problems, issues, or however you define it. We all will face something. As long as we live we will continue to go through things. It’s a part of life! However, the problems for most people is what they cause self, because they don’t deal with the inner issues affecting how they think, feel, and act!

People go through life the same, because they become comfortable. They’re willing to face everyone other than self. If you don’t grow as you go through life it means you stay the same! Sometimes what life throws at us cuts like a knife and so does those things we willfully get into. Lives could be better if people weren’t caught up and bogged down by the negative aspects of their events. Sadly people have learned to expect the worst. This is due to negative ways of thinking.

Everything we go through can teach us something about ourselves and about other people. Most times people are too hurt by their situations to learn the lesson. Most people sabotage their own lives. They end up making bad choices and decisions over and over. It all comes from what lies dormant within. Many people aren’t maturing mentally because they’re not allowing themselves to grow. They’re stuck on sad, mad, angry, bitterness, envy, jealousy, unhappy, etc. They give power to those things, which keeps them in negative states of mind.

No matter what you’ve gone through or will go through you can learn and grow from any situation. Don’t allow negative situations to keep you in a world of negativity. Stop allowing a past that’s gone to affect your present (here and now). Know that as sure as troubles come they will go. What I’m trying to make you understand is it’s really not the situation that’s causing you problems it’s your mindset. It stems from inner issues. Get to the root cause of your issues. If you don’t you’ll continue to go through life the same way. You deserve better, but in order to be better you must want better and be willing to do better!

You Are What You Choose To Become

Many people don’t want the truth. The truth often hurts. Most people don’t understand how much the truth can help a person to become a better person. People miss this reality because they’re too offended by the truth versus learning and growing from it. People automatically grasp on to the negative aspect of everything they go through and it’s why they remain where they are. They become lost in what they consider as negativity by becoming fixated on what offends them. They become upset about what they know is true and begin to focus on the truth as the problem. Most people are more comfortable with being lied to than they are dealing with the truth. No one can grow with this type of mindset.

Going through life you will without a doubt encounter bumps and bruises. No one gets through life unscathed. No matter who you are, we will all go through something in life, because life itself always brings us the unexpected. However, most people add unnecessary layers of stress and problems in their own lives by the foolishness they accept and allow on a daily basis. People don’t want to admit this truth, because it means taking responsibility for how you think, feel, and act. People want what they want until they realize it’s not good for them. Normally it takes a lot of unnecessary hardships to get to that point.

People are caught up in their feelings, desires, and wants. Unfortunately when a person is this way they have the tendency of wanting things they shouldn’t, going through unnecessary drama, chasing the desires of their flesh, putting their lives on the back burner, putting everything and everyone before self, giving away their power, dumbing themselves down, being used and abused by others, going along to get along, being brainwashed and oppressed, and the list goes on and on. The reason people allow and accept the things they do is due to mindsets and hearts. Most times they’re blind to the truth by how they think.

The things most people put themselves through is completely ridiculous and self inflicted. It’s a hard true fact! Despite the drama when a person is caught up in what they want nothing else matters. People go through chaos and drama, but they continue to do it their way even though it hasn’t ever worked. The hurt and pain continues, because people don’t deal with why they are the way they’ve chosen to become. Instead they keep going through life accepting all of the mess they’ve always accepted. No one else is to blame for the decisions you choose to make in your life. You have to find yourself by getting to know yourself and making a change in your life! The responsibility is yours and no one else’s. If you want better you must do better!

When a person finds his or herself it takes getting to know self. This isn’t possible until you choose to deal with what’s causing the mindset you have. Facing you is oftentimes the hardest thing to do, but it is something that must happen in order to grow and mature. Changing how you look at yourself, others, and life only happens when you have dealt with your own dysfunction. Running from yourself never works, all it does is lead you in circles! People keep doing it the same, because mindsets don’t change. This mindset keeps people going through similar things and allowing/accepting things they shouldn’t. People chase similar things while making everything and everyone more important than self. You’re the ONLY person who can change your situation! Change has to start with you! People will do to you what you allow. They will treat you exactly how you’ve allowed and accepted, because you’ve shown them how to treat you! ONLY you can change you and your life! New day, new start! It’s up to you! You can’t EVER become the best you possible if you’re choosing to remain the same!

The Identity Trap

I hope everyone is doing well. Before I go any further this title has nothing to do with gender, sexual preference, etc. In life most people worry about what they’re going to eat, how they look, what people are saying about them, looking like others, keeping up with the Jones’s, what people are doing, being in clicks, going along to get along, brown nosing to get what they want, not liking others because of what people says, trying to fix-save-change others, I can go on and on with this list. The bottom line is it all adds up to an accepted and embraced identity trap many people willfully fall into.

It leads most to identity traps because people get wrapped up and invested in others, but they neglect self. People chase and fall in love with individuals they choose to make their god’s and place above self. They oftentimes begin to worship these people. They empower and enable other people to misuse, disrespect, abuse, and hurt them in many ways. The more power you give to anyone or to anything the more control they or it has over how you think, feel, and act. In life people simply invest more into others than into self. It causes people to be easily persuaded, manipulated, oppressed and brainwashed without realizing this reality.

The reason it becomes an identity trap is people slip deeper into avoidance of self. It didn’t start with dealing with others and making others more important and priority. It began by neglecting self and the unwillingness to deal with debilitating inner issues. People fall into the trap by ignoring what ails them. They fall into the trap when they fail to deal with the issues that caused them the mindsets they have. They fall into the trap when they pretend all is well knowing it isn’t! Instead many people blame others for how they have chosen to become. This keeps individuals where they’ve always been mentally, stuck! People go through life with their many problems leading to dysfunctional ways of living. They begin to make others more important than self. They begin to seek out other people to to find what they lack in self. They seek out others to make them feel happy, loved, and validated. This only leads to more problems causing further unhappiness in the lives of many. You will never get from someone else what you truly deserve because you don’t understand your own worth. The constant chase is draining and will always affect your life in unhealthy ways, because people compile their issues with those of others. It intensifies the power you give to thoughts, which always affects how you feel and act. This negativity is what many carry around keeping them in their personal identity traps.

When people don’t move on in life they remain the same. They fall into identity traps because they never find self. Individuals never learn about who they are, because they don’t make self matter. Therefore they further disconnect with self as the world and the people around them become priority and more important. Lives unravel and people find themselves in unhealthy relationships, bad situations, feeling sad, feeling depressed, unhappy, stressed, suicidal, homicidal, unable to be alone for any given time, etc. People neglect self. They try to run from self when it’s impossible! It’s the identity trap many have fallen into! People are more concerned with others than with self growth. This is why people get older, but they aren’t maturing or becoming the best they can be. Instead they settle with who they’ve always been. Many people accomplish things in life, but they never accomplish the most important tasks of self discovery, self love, happiness, maturity, and growth being the best they can be for self. They choose to continue dysfunctional lives full of drama and chaos. People live the same cycles, because they refuse to get off the wheel. They fall into the identity trap and there they remain.

Why I chose to call it an identity trap is people willfully form this self made prison created by self rejection, their mindsets, and their own ways of thinking. It’s like being in a bubble. Although people move around freely realistically they’re stuck, because they haven’t dealt with their inner issues. This prevents people from finding self, loving self, forgiving, and knowing who they are. This trap keeps people bitter, angry, loathing self, mad at the world, and you name it! It is the main reason for the many bad choices and decisions people make in life. Most people will pretend to be either more or less than who they really are. If a person doesn’t choose to become the best they can be; nothing else should be more urgent or priority!

Dealing With Everyone’s Issues Other Than Your Own

I hope everyone is doing well.

One thing I’ve definitely learned is most people are better at handling other people’s problems than their own. They are terrible at dealing with their own issues. I promise and guarantee if people would pay more attention to dealing with their own problems their lives would be much better. Most people are very good at neglecting self. What’s sad about this truth is they don’t realize what they’re doing. This mindset comes from a deep-seated place of unresolved issues. It is why people neglect self and make everything and everyone more important than self. Unfortunately it is also why most people stay on the wheel you hear me speak about. It’s the vicious cycle people willfully and continually live. You can motivate, inspire, educate, encourage, etc others, but the decision to get off the wheel is an individual’s choice to make. People change if they choose change, sadly many choose to stay the same.

When you’re constantly grappling with other people’s problems it messes with you as a whole. You begin to take in all of their issues and trying to work out their problems when most times you’re not working out your own. It builds up and causes unnecessary stress. It’s hard to hold conversations with these types of people, because they’re always talking about the problems of other people. It’s exhausting! They’re always trying to give advice to people, but they can’t live by the advice they give. Many people live their lives fixated on the lives of others. I believe wholeheartedly many individuals are stuck and remain stuck, because they make everyone else the focus. You must make you matter!

How can you become the best you possible if your focus is more on others than on yourself? Why is it more important to fix the problems of others than to deal with your own? Oftentimes people become involved in the lives of others who are like minded, which often keeps them from growing. How you allow people to affect your life is exactly how it will be affected.

If people can’t handle their own lives why do you think you can? If you can’t handle your own issues what makes you think you’re equipped to handle the issues of others? This is what people are constantly doing. They live everyday showing up for everyone else other than for self. Until mindsets change lives will remain the same. Spending your life always chasing after or focusing on others means you’re not making you matter and honestly you’re spinning your wheels. The only person can change this is you!

Putting a Halt to the Drama

Some people will get mad because you no longer put up with their nonsense. Remember, it’s their problem not yours! This post isn’t meant only for significant others, but it can relate to other people as well. People are in your life for some reason, for a season, or for a lifetime. However, when involved with others there is always a lesson to be learned. Problem is many people fail to learn from the lessons, because they are too caught up in their feelings. They end up giving passes to people to wreak havoc in their lives.

Too many people settle in their relationships. They settle with significant others, their children, friends, family, and other people. They allow people to treat them how they choose to treat them. Most times the treatment isn’t good. You’re the greatest teacher when it comes to other people. You teach them exactly how they can treat you. If you say nothing, they’ll always do something. We’ve heard and probably have said “those who supposedly love us hurts us the most.” This happens because it’s allowed!

When it comes to people, you never stop loving them, but sometimes you have to feed people with a long handled spoon. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, but sometimes you have to maintain a distance for your well being (mind, body, soul). It doesn’t matter who someone is never allow people to do to you whatever they want to do. No one should be allowed to get a pass when it comes to your peace of mind! I’ve found many people think it’s okay to give passes to family, friends, and especially significant others. No it isn’t!

In relationships with significant others people allow themselves to go through pure hell, because they want so badly to be with someone even when they aren’t good for them. Some people are treated terribly, but due to how they think they’d rather settle with someone who’s bringing drama into their lives than to be alone. It’s definitely the wrong mindset to have. Love yourself enough to know you deserve better! If someone truly loves you they’ll treat you right! Stop signing up for unnecessary foolishness! If you’re dealing with immature people who haven’t dealt with their own issues, they’ll bring lots of drama into your life. Whatever you allow or accept is what you’ll get.

The saying “when you know better you’ll do better,” simply isn’t true! Many people know better, but they won’t do better, because they can’t get past what they want, desire, or their feelings. The reason people are this way is due to mindsets. People are trapped in their negative ways of thinking due to unresolved inner issues. When you are experiencing the same types of things it’s because you’re doing the same types of things. Put a halt to the drama! No one can do this for you other than yourself. Waiting on someone to change or to stop bringing you drama may never happen! Therefore, it’s up to you to stop the drama in your life. That means dealing with yourself and dealing with others. Your peace can’t be taken unless you give it away! Fall in love with yourself and make you matter! Collect all the passes you’ve given out! Peace, love, joy, and happiness to everyone!

Take a Moment to Listen

If you’re searching for some guidance, education, information, motivation, inspiration, sincerity, truth, etc please take time to scroll through and listen to some of my podcasts. I live what I preach/teach and all I care about is helping someone to think outside of their normal ways of thinking. When things aren’t working for you then it may be time to do something different. I’m not seeking fame or fortune, all I want is to help someone. It’s from my heart to yours. There are too many people in our world who refuse to get off of the wheel. Remember, staying the same shouldn’t ever be an option for anyone. Change doesn’t happen for anyone if efforts towards change doesn’t occur. Peace, love, joy, and happiness must start within you! I don’t act a fool or messy, I don’t curse, I don’t gossip about people’s business or any of that on my podcasts. That’s not me, so if that’s what you’re looking for there’s plenty out there. It’s just not what I do. Therefore, I’m considered boring to some people (smile).That’s okay, because I don’t allow no one to define me. There are many people who simply don’t want the truth nor do they want to change. Many people willfully choose to live their lives full of hurt, pain, and drama. They continue to repeat the same cycles. They put all of their time and energy focused on others while neglecting change within self. If you want to listen feel free, if you don’t I still love you!

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The Same Beaten Path

This beaten path is the path most people choose to take. Despite the dysfunction it causes many people choose this continued path of dysfunction. What’s truly sad is no one has to do this. We all have freewill and the opportunity to take a different path. Most people stay on their familiar paths instead of trying something different, this is why cycles continue. Many people follow the same paths of those before them (parents, caregivers, what’s instilled even if it’s wrong, etc). This is a person who isn’t willing to change. They choose to stick and stay right where they are; in misery! There are many people you know and who you don’t know who are this very way. Most spend their lives unhappy, because they won’t deal with their inner issues. Therefore they deny themselves the opportunity for happiness and peace. They don’t mature and grow.

When I think about all of the unrest in our world it automatically makes me think about the hearts and minds of people. In the pass couple of weeks there has been two mass killings and multiple murders over money. Without a doubt those people have dealt with years of unresolved issues. Inner issues comes from those things in life that scars us. The real problem is people don’t give themselves the opportunity to heal. In fact they add the hurts and pains of other individuals on top of their own suffering. The world is full of people who are experiencing similar hurts and pains. It may be on different levels, but the hurts and pains are similar. If people would take the time and deal with their hurts and pains they could become better, be able to cope, and be able to get on with life. Staying the same really shouldn’t be an option.

We all know when something is wrong in our lives. Doing something about it is another story. People know they’re affected, but they continue on down the same beaten paths. Most times they blame, complain, remain victims, or victimize, as they remain on the same beaten paths of destruction. Most people take the time to do everything other than improve self. This is why many people are riddled with anxiety, depression, suicidal and homicidal thoughts and many other things affecting their ways of thinking. People hold in and onto the negativity, which keeps them thinking, feeling, and acting negatively.

Many people try to hide who they really are, but truth is it’s always displayed at some point or another. The hurt and pain is coming out in some way. Many people continue to sabotage their own lives. Lives don’t change until mindsets and ways of thinking changes. This won’t happen until people get off of the wheel and off of their beaten paths of destruction.