Best Job You Can Have is Working on Yourself

This is the truth the whole truth and nothing, but the truth! I wish with my entire soul that people would understand how important it is to work on self. Most people spend their lives fixated on other individuals; especially on their significant others or they’re chasing after things the wrong way. They worry about pleasing who they are with to a point of forgetting about self. Most times getting nothing in return other than headaches and heartaches.

Too many individuals give everything they have trying to make the lives of their significant others better yet they suffer, because of their choices and decisions. They always end up dealing with the consequences of their choices and decisions. Many people get into situations they don’t have to be in. It’s because people move along in life without ever working on self. They move through life based on how they think and how they feel, when their thoughts and feelings behind those thoughts are distorted.

Most people go through life neglecting self. They don’t want to face their own issues and oftentimes add to their issues by compiling the problems of other individuals with their own. It leads to more chaos and drama in the lives of many. Most people settle for mediocre and that’s it! Look at things happening in the world. It is because of the mindsets of people.

Many people are afraid of change. They have the ability to see how other people need to change, but can’t see the need in self. People find it very difficult to go through situations in life. They don’t understand what dictates how they will handle any situation in life (love relationships, parenting, careers, friendships, etc) is the mindset they have going into it. When states of minds are negative it affects everything else. People try to love when they don’t love self first. It causes more problems.

There are many people who have unresolved issues. Most are childhood issues they carry into their adulthoods inflicting further pain on self and others. They do this because of failing to deal with those unresolved issues. Those issues causes them to lead dysfunctional lives. Things will remain this way until people choose to deal with self. Facing your own issues is the only way to get past them. No one can move forward in a positive way when they’re stuck in negative mindsets. There’s no room or time for complaining and blaming. Change starts with you and no one else. Get to know yourself, forgive yourself, and love yourself. It alone changes the path you’re currently on.

Looking to Someone to Change Your Life

Far too many people are looking to someone to make their lives better. This is why we see so many people following any and everything. We see many people getting into wrong relationships and staying in them. We see people making the same bad decisions over and over. People are desperately looking up to other people to make a change in their lives, when individuals should be looking at self. I don’t care who you look up to or follow it does nothing to change what you need to change within yourself. No one can save you from yourself, but you. Chasing after people and worshipping them only keep you stuck in the states of mind you’re in. It doesn’t help you, because you’re too focused on someone else and not yourself.

Everything in life starts with a thought. Lives are affected according to the power you give those thoughts. Not sometimes, but ALL of the time. Most people haven’t dealt with self yet. They look to someone and they will follow wrong even knowing it’s wrong. It’s because of their ways of thinking, their mindsets. When you do this you begin to idolize and worship people. Individuals who do this get way off course being self absorbed in other people, ultimately forgetting about self. You end up following wrong thinking it’s right, ultimately losing sight of the truth. We’ve all seen this plain and clear in the world today.

When you’re fixated on someone else you aren’t thinking for yourself. You merely follow. You can’t see this truth when you’re idolizing someone. It’s like being a dead person walking, because your life isn’t about you it’s about the person you think will change your life. They can affect your life, but only you can deal with your issues and change you! Only you can save, fix, or change you and your situation.

The only Savior is Jesus, not your significant other, friend, family, pastor, president, celebrity, etc. You’re the ONLY person who can change what’s inside of you! Only you can change your ways of thinking. Most people give their power to others by accepting any and everything . You must know, understand, and love yourself first. If you love yourself and know who you are, you’ll never look to someone else to change you. You will understand your life gets better when you make a change within. You have to change from the inside out! No one can make this change for you! When you look for someone to make YOUR life better it often means you’ll stand for anything, which also means you’ll fall for anything!

Looking at The Lives of Other People

Too many people are mesmerized and fixated on the lives of other individuals. They look at what other people have and secretly desire to have what the other people have or even desire to be like the other people. They see what’s in their faces, but don’t know the story or the struggle behind what they see. Some people are so caught up in the lives of other people they make those individuals more important than self.

Trying to keep up with other people or wanting to be those people causes unnecessary stress and drama. You don’t know how they got what they have, all you know is what you see! They could very well be like you (worrying what others have, wanting to be like others, not grateful for what they have, etc. ). Most of what you see is perception. Sadly, most people believe what they see is the truth. If you’ve never seen the movie “The Joneses.” It’s a great depiction of what people do to themselves. Many people look at the lives of others and end up feeling bad about self.

I did a post months ago about how some people try to live like a billionaire on a dollarnaire budget. It won’t work! There are also millionaires who try to live like billionaires. Stop torching yourselves! Whether talking about money or material things, the moral of this post is be yourself! Live within your OWN means. Don’t be ashamed of what you have, instead be grateful! Too many people are sad about what they don’t have instead of being grateful for what they do have. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, because you’re different.

If you learn nothing from any of my post, I pray people understand the importance of dealing with self and the issues you have. When you don’t deal with your issues it keeps you in the same mindsets with negative and distorted ways of thinking. It causes you to make others more important than yourself. Some individuals feel as if they’re either better or worst than others based on who they are or what they have. You must deal with the root cause of why you think the way you think. No one is better than you no matter what they have and no one is less than you despite of what they don’t have.

When you love yourself you will never ever look at other people with envy or jealousy. You won’t compare yourself to others and you won’t feel bad about what you don’t have. When you love yourself you know that you can like people without obsessing over them. When you love yourself you can be genuinely happy for others because you’re happy within yourself. When you love yourself you learn to live within YOUR means, be happy with what YOU have, and not mind the business of OTHER people. This level of mindset takes maturity and growth. When you reach it you see everything differently!

Same Things Same Results

The title says it all. It’s sad to hear people always complaining about their problems, but are never doing anything to change their situations. One lessoned I learned is some people refuse to change, and if allowed they’ll make you a dumping ground and/or drag you into their problems. This isn’t written to be mean, it’s simply the truth! I don’t care how much you care about someone you can’t let them keep dumping on you. It’s a big difference when a person is trying to change and you’re there being supportive by listening, etc. When a person continues to go through the same things and are not remotely trying to change then it begins to be an issue. If you allow people to drain your energy then it’s basically your own fault. People only do to what you allow. It doesn’t matter who it is, we teach people how to treat us!

It’s draining to constantly be a part of someone else’s never ending drama. Some people allow themselves to be treated terribly by others. They’ll bring the drama for you to hear over and over. The cycle is never ending! Sometimes you have to pump the brakes to get a break! If a person isn’t willing to change their situation what you say or do won’t make a difference! There are many people who allow themselves to be used to the max by others. They’re taken advantage of, disrespected, and mistreated, but they keep going back for more. This isn’t your battle! People have to want change in their own lives. If they won’t fix it, you sure can’t!

Many parents allow this drama from their children. Metaphorically speaking some parents clip the wings of their children enabling them for a life time. When parents do this it falls right back on the parents! It’s not good nor helpful to enable your adult children. It’s often taxing for parents, but instead of changing their situations they complain and continue to repeat the same cycles. They end up taking care of their adult children as if they’re still young children. I’ve seen some parents who are exhausted in every way possible, yet due to how they think they won’t change their situations. They think it’s acceptable because it’s their child/children. It isn’t! Instead of choosing change, they dump on you!

In relationships there are many people who repeatedly allow their significant others to treat them badly. Some people are used, abused, and you name it, but they keep going right back for seconds, thirds, and so on. These individuals go to other people complaining, crying,, etc., but they go right back to their relationships for more. They constantly repeat never ending cycles and end up dumping on you!

Many people allow all types of mistreatment from other individuals such as family, friends, and other people. They allow their spaces to be invaded, boundaries to be crossed, disrespect, and the list goes on. They always find themselves in the same types of situations. All they do is complain and dump, but they keep allowing the same things to happen. Their cycles continue.

You are treated how you allow! If someone doesn’t try to change their situation then you sure can’t change it for them. Although you may want to, you can’t drag anyone out of a situation they aren’t ready to leave! Every day many people cry, blame, or complain, but will not try to change their situations. My recommendation is don’t be pulled in or affected by them and their constant drama. Sometimes we routinely let people dump on us. Nothing is wrong with being there for others, but it’s a problem when it becomes habit. You may mean well, but if you’re not careful you’ll find yourself in the midst of drama that you don’t have to be in and shouldn’t be in. Some indivduals have lost their lives in the midst of other people’s drama. You can’t change adult people or make them stop doing anything. A person must want change for self. Bottom line is some people refuse to change. It doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to be pulled into their drama. Whatever you allow people to do to you, they will do! That’s it, the end!

When No one Seems to Care

It is okay and it will be alright! Don’t make the actions of others your problem! Sometimes in life there comes a time when people don’t seem to care for you or care for whatever you’re doing. It’s their choice. Don’t you quit! Keep believing in yourself even if no one else does! Truth is if you haven’t given people power to hurt you, they can’t! When people show you they don’t care use it as motivation to push harder. You can’t give up on yourself, because people aren’t there for you! Don’t entertain the thought of dropping your dreams and goals, because of someone else or other people in general. Don’t dismiss what you have going on or what you believe in for no one! If you do, you’ve done exactly what people hoped you would do.

There are some people who have difficulty functioning day to day if they think no one cares. Honestly this is why many people fall deep into depression and other things. They depend on others boosting and backing them. Feeling alone and depressed is often what happens when you base your life around what others think of you. There are plenty of people in this world who can’t support or back you because of the things they carry inside. It’s not what you’ve done, it’s because of who they are and how they feel about self. They are the type of people who can’t be happy for anyone, because they lack happiness within. Happiness is something we must first possess within self!

Never look to anyone to push you to keep going. You must have the will, determination, and motivation within yourself to keep going. Don’t do it for anyone other than yourself! Your dreams and goals belong to you and no one else. Too many people want to give up on self, because others chose to give up on them. This type of mindset shows you’ve made your life more about other people than you have about yourself. This way of thinking leave individuals hurt and devastated in life. Some individuals choose to give too much power to other people to stop them dead in their tracks. Don’t let this happen to you! Sometimes when it comes to your life, peace, and happiness; you may have to stand alone! As sad as it is to hear or read it’s the truth! If you learn to stand for yourself you’ll keep standing when people walk away from you.

Some people focus too much on what others think allowing it to thrown them off course. People will change on you quicker than the numbers at a bingo game! Some individuals will go out of their way to try an make you miserable. Especially when they’re miserable, you’re making progress in life, and they choose to remain where they are. Some people have a lot of pent up issues and because of it they project their negativity onto you in hopes it dims your light or discourage you. They can’t be happy for you, because of the what they lack. Oftentimes these people are family and friends. Don’t be surprised!

We automatically think support, love, etc., is a gimme when it comes to family and friends. No it’s not and if fact they are sometimes the worst when it comes to being in your corner. Don’t lose your focus! You can’t look for anyone to push you. In life you have to motivate and push yourself!

When It’s Not What You Want to Hear

This post may seem judgmental to most and I expect as much, because it’s the first tactic people go to when they don’t want to hear what you have to say. The truth isn’t judging. People feel it’s judging because of the mindsets they have. All I ever do is want to bring awareness, understanding, encouragement, motivation, education, etc., to help those who choose to look inward. You can’t mature and grow mentally if you willfully choose to stay where you are.

Anyone who’ve read my posts or listened to my podcasts know I don’t sugarcoat. I’m not rude or tactless, but I sure don’t water down or sugarcoat things to please people. I’ve noticed when you say or write something that steps on toes people are quieter than caterpillars. This is why many people are mentally stuck right where they are. They don’t want the truth at all. However, on the flip side some individuals will receive it from someone they consider as well known or from someone they want to hear it from. If it’s coming from someone they don’t want to hear it from they aren’t receptive. That alone tells me the mindsets of people. There are many reasons people are the way they are. It comes from unresolved issues. The truth of who we are lies within!

People would much rather gravitate towards negativity, gossip, or ignorant stuff; rather good information. The truth steps on the toes of most people and they don’t like it. They feel some kind of way, because they are often living the truth being addressed. If you can’t accept the truth it’s likely you inhibit your ability to mature and grow into the best you that you can be. This is why many people continue to live life spinning their wheels living the same cycles. Regardless of why, people from all calibers and walks of life prefer being lied to and getting it watered down.

Most people are offended by the truth. They prefer to hear the truth from who they want to hear it from, when in fact; the truth is the truth regardless of who tells it! They are comfortable and complacent in who they’ve become. People know they need to change, but they don’t want you telling them the truth about it. Most individuals want to keep living just how they’ve always lived. For some individuals, because of what’s inside they are too jealous and envious to be able to receive the truth from CERTAIN people. It’s all about the mindset!

There are many people (known and unknown by others) who tell you exactly what you want to hear. They do this because it’s not about anyone other than self. Individuals love it, because many would rather a lie or rather it be watered down. People who tell you what you want to hear have their own agendas, they want to maintain a certain status with you. They settle for tiptoeing and walking on egg shells to please others. It’s debilitating and does nothing to help individuals. It only helps self, the person! For whatever reasons these people play it safe. This shows you these types of people have their own unresolved inner issues, yet most individuals love these types of people. Sad!

Most individuals are obsessed with other people. They chase after other people often worshipping and praising them. They put much time and energy in others, but they don’t take the time to learn, love, or work on self. They’d rather spend their lives connected to people who don’t know them at all and probably care less about them. A lot of the people you chase are chasing something or someone else. You can’t see any of this until learn to love self and make yourself more important.

This was on my mind and I felt it was important to write about. I hope readers understand the message. If people are honest with self they know many people who falls into this category, I sure do. When you learn to deal with you and learn to love yourself you mature and grow. Changing your mindset changes your life!

What Someone Thinks of You Isn’t Your Problem

Too many of you make it your problem when you allow it to affect how you think, act, and feel. People worry too much about what negative people think of them than what is thought of self. Wasting time and energy hurting over what others say about you or do to you is futile! Truly it is! Negative people are always unhappy with self, therefore they can’t be happy with or for anyone else. No one can until they find happiness within self.

Most people become completely discombobulated over the words and/or actions of others concerning them. Sometimes a person allow it to push them to the brinks of breakdown or over the edge. The biggest problem with this is giving power to unhealed hurt people to hurt you. Those who do are also hurting (referencing yourself). All a person sees is the fact someone is hurting them, they can’t understand the negative individual who’s hurting them haven’t healed from their own hurt and pain.

It’s why you always read about me expressing the importance of loving yourself and dealing with your own pains in order to be able to deal effectively with other people. Once you’re able to love yourself you won’t allow others to bring you down because of their negativity. You will truly look at them and see them for who they are. You’ll then find sympathy in your heart for them, because you know they haven’t healed from their pains. It’s no excuse for their immature actions, but at least you’ll understand it better.

The thing is when you give others the power to hurt you it means you still have some work to do on self. If you give people the power to hurt you they will and it will definitely affect how you think, feel, and act. No one deserves that type of power from you! This is what most people do without understanding what they are actually doing.

Life can sometimes be hard enough with those unexpected and uncontrollable moments it brings. What is ironic is how on top of what life throws at us, most people pile the problems of others on top of their own. They allow hurt unhealed people to devastate their lives. No one has to live this way. If any person, regardless of who they are put you down or try to hurt you in any way, you can bet your last dollar they are truly an unhappy individual. When a person is unhappy with self it don’t bother them to inflict pain upon anyone else, they just hope they accomplish what they’ve intended. Don’t let it be you on the other end! Stop giving power to those types of people. Do not entertain them or their shenanigans. It’s that simple! The problem comes in when you haven’t dealt with self. When you haven’t healed from your own issues, you’re bound to allow the issues of others to affect you as well. The only way this doesn’t happen is a change has to occur within you! Don’t you think it’s time for a change? Only you can make the change for yourself!

A Life of Self Inflicted Pain

If people would understand the power they give to other individuals to hurt them lives would be much different. Most people are greatly affected by the actions of others, because of the power given to others. I’ve talked and written about it a lot, because I know it’s something many people don’t recognize.

People only can hurt you if you allow it. Something a person does or say may sting a little, but to what degree depends on you. Some people allow themselves to be totally discombobulated over what someone else has said or done. They allow other people to control their thoughts, feelings, and actions to a point of causing dysfunction in their own personal lives. When you can’t function because of someone else it is because of the power you’ve given them. People make life so much harder than it has to be for self.

There are many people leading dysfunctional lives, because they’re holding on to pain they should have let go. They feel weakened by other individuals. They feel they can’t get past their pains. People cause themselves to be trapped mentally in states of negativity, because of choosing to be completely bothered and hurt by others. They believe what others say about them and allow what has been said and done by others to affect them for many years or sometimes a lifetime!

No one can do to you what you don’t give them permission to do to you. The problem here is people lack the understanding of the power they give to people to completely knock them down. There are people who have lost their freedom, because they lost control due to what someone said or done. There are people who have lost their minds, because of being devastated for years by what someone has said or done. There are people who lost a sense of who they are, because they believe they’re not worthy due to what someone else has said or done. There are people who can barely function or can’t function due to what someone else has said or done to them. It’s because of the power given to others to hurt you! The list goes on and on.

People are naturally creatures who are led by their thoughts, feelings, and emotions even when they are not conducive to healthy lifestyles or states of mind. Until a person make self more important than anyone or anything it’s highly probable their life will be full of chaos and drama. It comes from self inflicted pain. Self inflicted pain is the pain you cause self by remaining stuck where you are and the pain you feel due to allowing others to hurt you. People are stuck because of the pain they choose to hold on to, this pain also comes from allowing others to hurt you. People hold in a lot of unnecessary pains which holds them down and back, preventing them from being able to move forward in life. When will you choose change? It can only occur when you choose it! It starts by forgiveness and loving self and until this occurs people will continue to be affected by the words and actions of others. Staying in the same mindset blocks and stops a person’s ability to mature mentally and grow. Change starts with you!

Mindsets Have to Change Before Change Occurs

Many people live their lives based on what they’ve gone through. They carry all of their pains throughout their lives. Many people haven’t healed from their pains, but spend most of their time and energy trying to love others through theirs. They spend a lot of time chasing after people who care less about them. They are held back due to their mindsets!

Over the years I’ve found one of the biggest things people do to self is give their time and energy to minding the business of other people and not their own. They often exhaust themselves praising and worshipping others, trying to be friends, and trying to love others. They lose themselves in the business of other people. They spend more time worrying about the lives of others than they do their own lives. If people would care half as much about their own lives as they do the lives of others, their lives own could be better.

Most people are stuck mentally where they are, because they are too worried about other people than their own lives. They put the focus, time, and energy on others and not enough on self. This is exactly why people are so hurt by other individuals. They invest in others, but not self. When you live this way you make other people more important than self. You give power to others to affect how you think, feel, and act.

There are many people who’ve given too much of their power away until they end up killing themselves due to being overwhelmed by their situations and life in general. People are ONLY overwhelmed, because they haven’t dealt with their own issues and they have compiled other issues on top of their own unresolved issues leading to breakdown. They don’t learn how to cope, because they hold in too much and they also relinquish their power to others (past and present).

People are chasing after friendships, love, money, success, titles, positions, security, etc, because they think it will make them happy. They don’t realize happiness comes from within. They give much of their power away as they seek what they want and desire. Another way people give their power is they become infatuated and fixated on the lives of those they think are powerful putting the focus more on them than they do their own lives. People are literally killing themselves trying to be like other individuals. They lose themselves in the lives of others they know and people they don’t really know. All of this on top of their own unresolved issues leads to distress.

If people would spend as much time dealing with their unhealed pains as they do chasing people and things they could without a doubt let go of the things keeping them in the mindsets they’re in. They can learn to love self. They can figure out self and stop giving their power to people to hurt them. They can move on in life and become better than they’ve ever been. Despite it all most people will choose to chase others then try to deal with their own lives. Most people will continue to make the lives of others more important than their own. They will continue to allow others to hurt them. They will continue to believe loving someone or being loved is more important than loving self. This mindset keeps people unhappy and in unhappy situations.

If a person doesn’t love self or make self matter to self they will continue to live dysfunctional lives. They will continue chasing after people and things in their quest for love, happiness, validation, recognition, etc. Nothing will ever change for this type of individual until they believe they deserve better and choose better. Bottom line is mindsets have to change in order for lives to change! Make you matter to yourself!