WHEN THE HEART LEADS

Standard

Yes, here I go again. No matter how many times it’s discussed, people are still allowing their hearts to lead them into devastation. Of course when entering into a new relationship you will feel something for the person you’re with. However, if you’re only going by what you’re feeling, you may be lead astray. People don’t get it, because they’re being completely blindside by their feelings. Regardless of it all to them it feels good and it’s all they think of and desire. The thoughts of the immature who don’t have the wisdom or understanding to see the truth; when they want someone, their thoughts are centered around the person. The more feelings they develop for the person; the more they will desire to be with and around them.

This is why when many FINALLY wake up they find themselves in awful relationships. They find themselves in loveless, abusive, controlling, etc relationships where they’ve lost all control. It’s because they allowed their hearts to lead. They’re completely blind when it comes to love. To hear or read the saying “follow the heart is beautiful” but it’s not the whole truth. You can’t follow the heart and be on point if you’re not in the correct frame of mind. This means you must have true understanding of what is going on and be able to see the truth and know it as the truth. This takes growth and maturity. Unfortunately some people never grasp this reality. Many wonder why they keep going through bad relationships and awful breakups, it’s because they keep doing it the same way over and over. They continue to allow their hearts to lead.

When you meet someone, if it’s someone you’re attracted to and interested in you will have these thoughts and feelings of that individual. This is normal. Once you begin to spend time getting to know the person you will begin to see signs of the truth. People make mistakes at this point. They see the person and instead of looking at the entire picture, they’re stuck on what they’re feeling or see with their natural eyes. I guarantee you if people were able to disengage after seeing what they’re dealing with isn’t representation of a healthy relationship they could save themselves from turmoil down the road.

A lot of people want to say “they didn’t know or they never saw the signs.” This isn’t true. I don’t care how subtle they may be, there are ALWAYS signs. No matter how a person try to hide the truth, the truth shows in some form or another. The problem is the person on the receiving end dismisses the truth because of what they’re thinking and feeling about the other person. It’s all about passion and wanting to be in the company of that person.

Early on, although there will be feelings involved but, if people would look at what is happening as they’re getting to know the person they’re involved with, it could change the whole course of the relationship. Unfortunately most don’t. They simply go with what their feeling. This is the wrong way to build any relationship.

Relationships must be built on SOLID foundations. When foundations are SOLID relationships bloom into beautiful healthy relationships. I must admit I’ve known a few people who were a mess and later in life they made a change. This is absolutely wonderful, however I don’t recommend anyone going further into rocky/bad/unhealthy relationships in hopes of the person changing, because this may NEVER be the case. How you start is VERY indicative of how you will end.

There are countless women who are in bad situations with all signs of it being bad. They’re mistreated, abused, spoken to badly, disrespected, controlled, ostracized from family and friends, but they stay and many married these men. Early on they continue in these relationships because they think they’re in love. They’re going off of what they feel and not on what they see and are experiencing. These women stay for many reasons and everyone of them comes from past experiences and the wrong way of thinking, feeling, and reacting to those past experiences. Unfortunately some never make it out, because they die at the hands of the one they love. Many get out only to go back. Despite of it all many are still being lead by their hearts and distorted ways of thinking.

Society only talks about women who are in these relationships, but the truth be told there are many men who are in these types of relationships as well. The truth of who a person is lies within and it has no gender or color. Who we really are comes from a lot of things, but the bottom line of it all it derives from how we perceive and think about things. This is what causes the feelings and actions we feel and display when it comes to those we love.

I’ve talked to countless of suicidal people who are so distraught about their relationships and other things to a point of where they want to take their own lives. They feel they can’t go on without the person they love so much. This is disheartening because a person such as this has allowed their distorted ways of thinking and the feelings to go along with it; to render them hopeless. These types of individuals don’t realize they’re feeling this way because of what’s going on inside of them and not necessarily because of the other person. They’re projecting what they feel outward in thinking it’s because of the other person, but in truth it’s because of who they are as an individual. Too many bad thoughts and feelings leads to bad actions.

Millions in this world allow themselves to be in unhealthy relationships all because they are mislead by distorted ways of thinking which leads to misguided feelings which often leads to things they didn’t bargain for. My prayer is that people deal with their issues first before entering into relationships. If a person enter into a relationship out of desperation and other distorted ways of thinking, the consequences of their actions may be detrimental. These types of people are lead by their ways of thinking and the feelings developed from those distorted thoughts.

There’s a millions scenarios I could write about on this very subject, but the fact remains, people still don’t get it. That’s the sad part. Many people haven’t gotten the understanding in order to see the truth. It takes soul seeking to really look at oneself. If things aren’t going right in your life, don’t look at the other person; look at yourself. Seek out why you’re the way you are and deal with it. This is how you grow and mature.

Advertisements

BUT, YOU KEEP GOING BACK

Standard

You took the big step to get out of your bad relationship, but you went right back. You feel so connected to the person, but it’s a distorted way you’ve been thinking and that way of thinking has you trapped in a relationship that has brought you nothing but heartache. Many individuals go back to bad relationships. It’s NOT because they’re truly in love with the individual (although really feel they do), it’s because of their own personal insecurities.

Think about it, a person has to be insecure along with other issues to keep leaving and going back into a bad situation. Most times when a person leaves and goes back it becomes worst. Every time you leave and go back you give power to the other individual. They know that they have that control over you. They know what to say and how to treat you to get you to come back and once you’re back they go back to doing what they were doing before you left. It’s a vicious cycle that often times end in tragedy.

Some of you knew the bad situations you were in before you chose to go deeper into them, YET you still chose to do so. It’s because of the mess inside of you. What’s inside pours out in the desires of the heart. You’re not thinking rationally, you’re allowing that feeling you’re experiencing to lead you wrong. Many of you are living a lie. You’re pretending to be happy for your family and friends, but in reality your far from it. Some of you are even afraid to leave. You’ve stayed way too long and now you’re too afraid to leave. On the other hand some of you feel you can’t do better. It’s all distorted thinking and the wrong way of believing.

Stop seeking something in someone else that you can’t give to yourself. Learn that you’re more important than anyone other than God. If you don’t love you (for real), then what you give and receive will not be what’s right for you. It will be something received through a wrong way of thinking and believing. It all comes from being messed up inside. We have to start dealing with who we are and cleaning out the junk, before we pile more stuff on it. No one can effectively deal with a relationship when they’re full of mess. It’s impossible. You can fake it, but the truth always shows in your bad decisions. It shows in what you accept from others and how you allow others to treat you.

Your significant others knows exactly where they have you! If you take anything and everything as I always say “it is exactly what you will get.” They will expect you to take it, because it’s what you’ve always done. The way you avoid bad situations is BY NOT GETTING INTO THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. If you do you won’t have to worry about being fearful of leaving, getting abused, being trapped into something not good for you. If you’re being treated wrong from the start, NEVER move any further, remove yourself from that person and that situation. STOP thinking it’s a first and last time occurrence, more than likely it will not be. If a person gets away with it from the start, they are bound to try it again.

Remember, if you felt a need to leave you felt that way for a reason. Why do you think it will change if you went back? So many people have lost their lives by going back. No one should allow anyone to do them any kind of way they want. You shouldn’t give no one that type of power over you. If you lose your power you’ve lost control. If you let a person do you any way they feel, it gives the person strength to do something else. This is what happens in many relationships. Both men and women lose their power to who they’re with and freely I may add. It happens for many reasons, but the bottom line is IT SHOULDN’T EVER HAPPEN.

Stop leaving bad situations only to go back. Stop going back to receive more of what you were getting. Stop giving people the power to control and manipulate you and the situation. Stop getting into situations you know are bad for you by thinking with your brains FIRST. Start looking at your situations and analyzing them before getting off into the deep end. I don’t care how cute they are or what they have to offer. Stop being distracted by things that they’re using to lure you in and see the ENTIRE picture. Run as if you’re running for your life from situations that are bad for you, because before it’s over you just may be running for your life. It all can be avoided from the start.

Please start seeing the truth for what it is. Stop allowing your hearts to lead and guide you into bad situations. I do know some people go back and the situations sometimes changes and things get better. However, this takes growth and maturity. The person CAN’T remind the same and you think it’s going to get better. Some changing must occur. I’m trying to save somebody. In relationships such as this, some people lose their lives and others wish they were dead. People lose focus of who they are, they end up completely broken. No one EVER has to be in these types of situations, by seeing the truth from the very start and accepting it as such.

Feelings of the Heart

Standard

There are so many people who are suffering in their current relationships. Both men and women are losing themselves in their bad relationships. There are countless amounts of people who live every day and are unhappy in their relationships.

Different people have different meanings of the word love. Unfortunately most don’t have a clue as to what it really means to love or to be in love. Many are giving up their lives completely to cater to the needs of the one they love, but aren’t receiving what they need, desire, or want in return. This isn’t love, but it is a one sided relationship. It shows issues on both parts. One on the part of the person who is giving their all, but is getting nothing in return and the other on the part of the one who is taking it all, but giving nothing. This says something about both individuals. Both have issues they need to address. Many people in these types of relationships lack the maturity they need to effectively be a part of healthy relationships.

I’ve always said start out how you can hold out and not only that; how you start is indicative of how you will end. People continue to get into messed up relationships expecting for them to get better as time goes by, but most times they don’t. I’ve seen both men and women who are very mistreated in their relationships but they hold on to them for dear life. Despite of what they’re enduring they do their best to remain with the very individual’s who are mistreating them. In a lot of the cases individuals aren’t even married. I don’t know why people think things will get better or people will change. Instead what these people will expect is for you to continue to accept what you allowed in the beginning. They expect to continue to be who they have been all along and who you chose to fall in love with.

Most people fall in love according to what’s going inside of them. The reason many people make bad decisions is because they’re dealing with issues which causes them to go off of the feelings of their hearts alone or the lust of their eyes. They make decisions based off of the wrong feelings and because of it are lead into situations that are chaotic and bad for them.

When you accept any type of treatment from the one you think you love any kind of treatment is exactly what you will get. I won’t EVER say a person can’t change, but what I will say is this; wait until they do before you go falling in love only to get your feelings hurt. Don’t give your all to someone who doesn’t provide you what you need. When you do it’s a clear sign something is wrong with you!

I feel a need to elaborate further, because I know sometimes the person you love may provide things that are of necessity, but it doesn’t mean they’re providing you what you need. We all need genuine love from the one who supposedly loves us. We all need affection, honesty, dedication, loyalty, and trust from the one who supposedly loves us. Too many of you are settling with material things. Many of you feel it’s all okay, because you feel secure, but you fail to face the fact that although you have some security of food, shelter, and clothing, you’re treated like crap. You don’t feel loved nor are you treated as a person the other individual is in love with. Regardless, many of you settle for this, because of that false sense of security until one day you finally realize how alone and miserable you are.

Some of you go through pure hell and daily stress. You’re so busy trying to please a person who don’t give a hoot about you that you don’t know whether you’re coming or going. However, your significant other is living the life. They’re with you, but doing whatever they want to do, when they want to do it, because they know you will take it no matter the cost.

All I’m saying is wake up!!